My muse has been giving me more inspiration for this story of late, but I will return to the others once my momentum for this one runs out. I hope that reassures anyone who sees that I have lately posted many chapters on this one and not many on the others.
During dinner, Mr. Bennet scarcely spoke. He was certain that if he made any jokes at the expense of their guest, his wife would be displeased, although Mr. Collins would likely not understand his meaning. After dinner, when the servants had retired, he felt it was time to engage in conversation with his guest. Consequently, he began a topic that he thought would suit him, observing that he seemed to be fortunate in his patroness.
Mr. Bennet could not have chosen a better topic. Mr. Collins was eloquent in her praise. The subject elevated him to more than usual solemnity of manner, and with a most important aspect he protested that "he had never in his life witnessed such behaviour in a person of rank—such affability and condescension, as he had himself experienced from Lady Catherine. She had been graciously pleased to approve of both of the discourses which he had already had the honour of preaching before her. She had also asked him twice to dine at Rosings, and had sent for him only the Saturday before, to make up her pool of quadrille in the evening. Lady Catherine was reckoned proud by many people he knew, but he had seen nothing but affability in her. She had always spoken to him as she would to any other gentleman; she made not the smallest objection to his joining in the society of the neighbourhood nor to his leaving the parish occasionally for a week or two, to visit his relations. She had even condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he could, provided he chose with discretion; and had once paid him a visit in his humble parsonage, where she had perfectly approved all the alterations he had been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself—some shelves in the closet upstairs."
Most of Mr. Collins's words flew past the others without being absorbed, but Elizabeth's eyes grew wide with alarm when she heard that he had been ordered to find a wife. She certainly hoped he did not have some notion that he would find at wife at Longbourn. She had no intention to wed the foolish man and she would not permit Kitty to do so either. Kitty might have, in the past, expressed the wish to marry a clergyman like her sister had, but there was a vast difference between Mr. Hadley and Mr. Collins. She felt a sense of relief when she saw Kitty looking at Mr. Collins with repugnance as he guzzled his tea.
Elizabeth had been so distracted by her thoughts that she had not been paying attention to the conversation that was continuing without her. Mr. Collins was praising Lady Catherine some more, but this time, his praise had extended to her ladyship's daughter as well.
"Has she been presented? I do not remember her name among the ladies at court," asked Mrs. Bennet.
"Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in town, and by that means, as I told Lady Catherine one day, has deprived the British court of its brightest ornaments. Her ladyship seemed pleased with the idea. You may imagine that I am happy on every occasion to offer those little delicate compliments which are always acceptable to ladies. I have more than once observed to Lady Catherine, that her charming daughter seemed born to be a duchess, and that the most elevated rank, instead of giving her consequence, would be adorned by her. These are the kind of little things which please her ladyship, and it is a sort of attention which I conceive myself peculiarly bound to pay."
Elizabeth and Kitty shared a speaking look. Neither could believe that such a lady as Lady Catherine existed, but then, a few hours ago, they would have believed a description of Mr. Collins as fiction as well.
"You judge very properly," said Mr. Bennet, "and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?"
Mrs. Bennet glared at her husband. He drooped slightly, knowing that he had been caught in his teasing.
Mr. Collins did not seem to notice the interchange between the couple and was happy to answer Mr. Bennet's question. "They arise chiefly from what is passing at the time, and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such little elegant compliments as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible."
When Mr. Bennet was young, he would have been delighted to have such a man as his guest and might have listened to all the passing absurdities with great enjoyment. Now that his daughters were grown and very pretty, he could not help but feel uneasy about Mr. Collins. He said nothing of importance and nothing ill-mannered. He was complimentary of everything and everyone, but his manner of looking at the girls disconcerted Mr. Bennet. He did not believe this man as harmless as he at first glance appeared.
Wishing to remove the man from his daughter's company, he offered himself as a partner at backgammon and suggested they remove to his library. Mr. Collins assented eagerly. He wished to have a private audience with Mr. Bennet and this was his chance. Once the game had been set up and the first few moves made, he addressed his topic,
"I previously mentioned the generous condescension of Lady Catherine de Bourgh in offering her advice that I ought to marry. I did not mention all of the details of her advice, for I thought it might be indelicate in front of the ladies."
Mr. Bennet interrupted Mr. Collins, "Sir, it is nearly as indelicate for you to mention it to me now. You have been introduced to my daughters mere hours ago. It is impossible that you should be able to determine that you wish to marry one of them so quickly. You do not know them and I do not know you. I shall not hand one of my children off to a stranger."
"Sir!" exclaimed Mr. Collins, appalled at the suggestion. "I suggest nothing of the sort. It would be indelicate to ask for either of their hands just yet, although I wished to inform you that I have come prepared to admire them. Miss Bennet, in particular, seems the sort of lady that Lady Catherine would approve of."
Mr. Bennet had to prevent himself from laughing aloud at this. Elizabeth would be a terrible wife to a clergyman. She was headstrong and did not like reading books of sermons, often disagreeing with the beliefs laid out by the most popular sermon writers. Considering what Mr. Collins had told him of Lady Catherine, he did not believe that Elizabeth would get along very well with her ladyship at all. He told Mr. Collins as much, although he used more complimentary words so as to not slight his daughter.
Mr. Collins was taken aback by this. Miss Bennet's lovely face had confirmed his views that he ought to marry one of his cousin's daughters. This choice had also agreed with his established notions of what was due to seniority, for Lady Catherine had instructed him of the evils of the younger daughters being married before the elder. Her ladyship had seen the evils of this arrangement herself, when her younger sister had married before her. It was very improper of Lady Anne to not yield to Lady Catherine's greater claim on the gentleman when Mr. Darcy had come calling. Thus, the idea of marrying the younger when the elder was not engaged or soon to be so made him uneasy and he professed as much to Mr. Bennet.
Mr. Bennet was unimpressed. "You misunderstand me, Mr. Collins," he said as he swirled the port in his glass. "I do not say this in order to direct you to my younger daughter. I would not give Kitty to you either, on so short an acquaintance. She might be a more proper choice for a clergyman, as she greatly enjoys spending time with Mr. and Mrs. Hadley and reads many of the sermons that Mr. Hadley recommends to her. However, just because I believe she would make a fine clergyman's wife does not mean I believe she would be a proper wife for you. She might be pious, but she is sometimes a little silly, although perhaps I should not say such things about my own daughter. She is still very young and needs to grow up a great deal before I am prepared to permit her to marry. I will not even consider a betrothal before August of this coming year. It has been our established rule with all of our daughters that they may not accept any offer until they are eighteen. If you wish to court her good opinion or that of Lizzy and they come to like you, then that is very fine. As I do not know you, I cannot judge if you improve on further acquaintance. However, I will tell you that I will never pressure any of my daughters to accept any man they wish to refuse. Both of my married daughters have made love matches, and I wish the same for Lizzy and Kitty."
Mr. Collins was displeased by Mr. Bennet's unwillingness, but had to concede. He had, at least, not been entirely rejected. He would attempt to court the good opinion of one of the Bennet girls, but he was undecided which one he ought to select. Lady Catherine might be displeased if he married the younger. Yet if Miss Bennet was truly unsuitable to be a clergyman's wife, he ought not to marry her either.
Finding himself, for once in his life, unable to find much to say, the gentlemen finished their game. Afterwards Mr. Collins retired. A manservant came up to attend him when called for, and Mr. Collins thought to ask the servant's opinion of the ladies. Normally, he would speak as little as possible to a servant, but was in such a state of perturbation that he forgot his usual scruples.
The servant was called Simon and had worked for the Bennets since he had been seven years old. He was now five-and-thirty, and thought the Bennets the finest family in the county, if not in England. They had paid for him to have schooling and the paper and ink to practise what he had learned. They allowed the servants to read any book they liked from the family library, and when he was sixteen and had spilled a jar of ink of a book, they had not beat him or even made him pay for the replacement. Instead, they simply asked him to remove any ink from his desk before reading from then on. He had sometimes been asked to care for the young ladies and would watch over them when they went travelling. They always saw to his comfort, for they understood that a manservant sitting on the top of a carriage would need rest and refreshment more often than those sitting inside.
Therefore, when Mr. Collins asked Simon about the Bennets, he had only praises to give. When the inquiries were narrowed to specifically the daughters, Simon became suspicious, but could not think of what he might say that would not be untrue or insulting while not encouraging the man to pursue his young mistresses. He, therefore, listed the facts that he knew about them and their accomplishments, that they were kind and generous people, and that he could not imagine anyone taking a dislike to them.
The young ladies did, of course, have many faults. No man who has travelled with siblings for long journeys can believe them perfect. More than once, particularly when the girls were younger, did he have to enter the carriage and sit between two sisters to keep them from fighting. Kitty and Elizabeth were the worst when seated next to each other, but Mrs. Hadley could have a temper as well. Lady Wallingford, well, he had never heard her argue or yell at her sisters, but she was silent when she was angry.
Mr. Collins did not notice that even the servant was wary of him and only heard the praises of the young ladies. Such a lady as Miss Bennet was described to be could not be displeasing to Lady Catherine. He, therefore, resolved that she would again be his choice. Surely, once the offer of marriage from the heir to her father's estate was before her, she would see the good sense in accepting and therefore Mr. Bennet's scruples would be overcome.
