This is probably my favorite chapter thus far, I don't know why. I love the pacing and what it tells and how it tells it and I am amazed my brain put the words together to make it happen.
Itachi goes digging and finds answers he didn't want.
these stories unfold
When Kisame stopped by his office to tell him that Hinata had been found, he had to take a moment to really digest what was being said. Kisame liked to frequent places that he would personally never even bother to look at, and he knew that if Kisame had found her, it would not be good. He leveled a stare at his friend who looked away, unwilling to meet his eyes.
"I think it was her." He mumbled. Shifting in his chair as he looked away, knowing that the information he was providing was not exactly what the other party wanted to hear.
"Are you sure?" The question felt like sandpaper on his tongue. She had barely registered for him. The only thing he knew about her, other than that she had dated his brother, was that she had vanished like a whisper in the wind, 5 years ago. He had not intended to look for her, but something had kept him from fully ignoring the fact that she was gone. So he kept looking, hoping to hear from the missing heiress.
"Yes…" Kisame had sighed and that was all Itachi needed to grab his coat and follow his friend.
The bar was in the redlight district and it was not somewhere he would ever set foot on if it had not been for Kisame saying that she was there. The air was heavy with what he could only assume were hormones fueled by alcohol. The waitresses wore the bare minimum and he averted his gaze from the copious amounts of skin in display. Furtively he scanned the sea of bodies, hoping to catch the purple tones in her hair, maybe even her opalescent eyes which he was sure would be easy to recognize.
He did not expect her there, he had prayed that his friend was wrong. But after 30 minutes of pretending he did not see the women, scantily dressed and vying for his attention, he spotted her. Her hair fell limply from her ponytail. The usual luster that he associated with the midnight locks was gone. Her eyes, which he remembered shining with mirth, were empty as she leaned over to serve a drink to a man lost in her cleavage. The clothes she wore, if they could even be called that, were in line with the other waitresses in the bar and he had to try not to stare.
She was thin. She had never had much fat but her curves, once softened by baby fat from her young age, were sharpened by lack of weight. He was sure that if he focused well enough, he would be able to count her ribs beneath the barely there top she was wearing. Though her hips were full, he could see her hip bones fighting to keep the miniskirt she was wearing from slipping down. While her breasts were making his mouth dry, her protruding collar bones made it impossible for him to find her anything other than too thin.
He wondered if she was eating, but knew instinctively that she was not. Briefly he wondered how that was the case, he was sure that she got tipped well. She was an attractive woman, and though he had to bite the inside of his cheek to the point of bleeding for even looking at her that way, he could not help but wonder how a beauty like her ended up in a place like this.
That was the true mystery. The Hyuuga with all their resources and all their wealth had not been able to locate her. Everyone thought she had gone off to college like she was supposed to, the only reason he knew otherwise was his dad, who had confided in him. Hiashi had, after one too many drinks, let it slip to Fugaku that Hinata was gone. That despite his burning desire to look for her, the stubborn man had heeded her wishes and had ultimately let her go.
The knowledge ate at him. He knew that his brother had broken up with her a week or two before graduation. He knew that she had stopped going to school, Sasuke had been heartbroken, concerned, but too proud to ask anyone what was wrong. He had left, out of the country to pursue his dreams, and Itachi had not thought of the girl he left behind until that conversation with his dad. Fugaku had been tired, his concern palpable. They had liked her and his mother, Mikoto, had been devastated by the news. She had been close to her late mother and viewed the young woman as her own. But no one thought to mention it to his brother, sure that he would be unconcerned. An old flame was not something to bother him with. Yet still, Itachi had looked. When he was unable to find her in the city she was to move to, he kept looking elsewhere. Asking for help from his friends in case she could be spotted in places he had not thought of. He never imagined she would be right here, in the red light district, serving drinks to men who would most likely have their way with her if they found her alone.
He decided he had seen enough and waited outside for her shift to be over. His stomach roiled at the thought of her working here. Memories of her as the shy and skittish child that he had grown up knowing and the ghost of a woman that he had seen tonight. He waited in his car, trying his best to not appear like a stalker. It wasn't the best location for anyone to be alone. In the hours he waited there he could have made thousands in retainer fees, if he had bothered to approach any of the individuals engaging in criminal activity around him. It was close to 4 am when the lights of the establishment finally turned off, and it was a good 30 minutes later that he spotted her emerging from the back of the building. He got out of his car and walked along the sidewalk opposite of hers, stealing glances in her direction.
He followed her home, the knowledge made his stomach twist. But 4 a.m was too late, or early, for anyone to be walking alone. He excused it as trying to make sure that no one was waiting in the shadows to harm her. But he knew that he was simply committing her commute home to memory so that he may come back in a few hours with reinforcements. Itachi didn't think that he could do this alone.
He did not sleep that night and waited until a respectable hour to call Temari, the only person they had in common. He knew that Hinata was friends with Gaara, Temari's younger brother. The two had gotten close during college, and Itachi was glad that he had kept the friendship over the years. He figured that if he was to confront Hinata, a friendly face would make the situation easier to handle and it would make her more likely to open up.
That is how he found himself in front of a dilapidated apartment a few blocks from the bar he had seen her at the night before. Temari was tense beside him and they both looked far too well dressed for the neighborhood they were currently in. He held no doubt that if things went south both him and the blond would be more than capable of defending themselves, however the fact that a contingency plan had to be in place made his stomach knot with worry. Hinata was not a fighter, this was not a safe place for her.
Exchanging a worried look with Temari he lifted his hand and knocked on the cheap door. They had waited until past noon, hoping that she would be awake and at home. Nothing had prepared them for what they would encounter once the door opened. At first they had thought that he knocked too hard, forcing the flimsy door open with the rap of his knuckles and it wasn't until the gasp that came from next to him that he even thought to look down.
Words died in his throat. Standing there, holding the door open and wearing a blue hoodie stood his baby brother. At least as Itachi remembered him, from when he was but a child. He would have been fooled, had it not been for the eyes, gunmetal gray, too light to be Uchiha, too dark to be Hyuuga. Their hair was the shade of a raven's wing, and gathered in a ponytail it almost reminded Itachi of himself, or what he imagined his brother would have looked like if he had been blessed with less rebellious hair. Temari was trembling beside him, and he was unable to find the air necessary to form words. They heard her, more than saw her, both too preoccupied with the eyes looking at them curiously from below. Her gasp was almost inaudible, but her body, blocking the small child from view was impossible to ignore.
"H-how?" It had been years since he had heard that stutter.
Temari's face crumbled, worry, sadness and a hint of betrayal making way for tears. Hinata looked ready to collapse and the child peered from behind her, now openly glaring at the intruders that upset her so. Her eyes flickered to Itachi, widening, her pupils dilated and had it not been for his impeccable reflexes, he would not have caught her as her knees gave from under her. She was hyperventilating, the tears that threatened to spill from Temari's eyes were openly flowing from Hinata's as he held her. Her body was so thin, he feared that he might break her.
"Mama…" came the small whimper and Itachi felt his world fracture around him. Though the pitch was smoother, the voice of his baby brother was unmistakable.
"Mama, don't cry…" This only served to make her sob harder, burying her face in her hands, trembling against Itachi's embrace as he tried to make sense of it all.
"Mama…" A small hand smoothed her hair, her sobs robbing her body of air, Itachi knew that it was a matter of time before consciousness slipped from her. "Mama… Haru is sorry."
The whispered apology was Temari's undoing, and before he could protest she collapsed, eyes fierce as she gathered her friend from Itachi's grip into hers.
He had let them cry, until neither had more energy, until the gray eyes faded, taking reality away with them. He carried her inside the apartment which was small but well kept, it was obviously cheap and he could tell that it was not up to code. Though clean, it smelled lightly of mold and mildew and it was cold, so cold that it seeped straight to his bones. He moved her to what he could only assume was the single bedroom and laid her gently on the futon that Temari had dug out from the closet in the room. The boy watched them, apprehensive, worried, his eyes sharp and focused on Hinata. Fearful and resentful when it would shift to them. Temari agreed to stay with her in the small room and after some gentle coaxing Itachi was led to the living room by the boy. He sat on the floor taking seiza and took note of his surroundings. This apartment had to be the size of her closet growing up. There wasn't much in the living room, a table and two cushions, no TV, the kitchen was nothing more than a sink, a small fridge and a stove top. Haru took the other cushion opposite him, he also took seiza and looked far too severe for someone his age.
Finally, he forced his eyes to settle on the boy, who had been watching him curiously, but with apprehension. He was reminded of a kitten, skittish, but starved for affection.
"Hello," he greeted, trying his best to make his voice soft. "My name is Itachi, what's yours?"
Silence, gunmetal eyes bored into his, unflinching, unafraid.
"Haru," came the soft response.
"How old are you Haru?" He wanted to wake up, this was a dream, a nightmare with no ending.
Haru observed him, and for once he felt like his practiced placid mask was useless when confronted with the open stare of this boy. He observed as Haru quietly counted with his fingers, so small, so fragile.
"F-five?" It was said as a question, but Itachi knew him to be right. She had been gone for that long, which meant that she was with him before graduation. It meant that when his brother broke her heart, Haru's was already beating inside her.
Itachi could not breathe, did Sasuke know? Did she keep it from him? That would be more palatable. But he could not imagine her keeping this to herself, which could only mean he knew, and he was not here. Rage, unbridled, uncalled, unbidden filled his heart and he struggled to keep his face neutral.
"A-are you mama's friend?" Hope. A small flicker of it painted the whisper.
"Yes, we are. We've known your mama for a long time," he tried, but failed to keep a tranquil face. The eyes looking at him were earnest before they shuttered away the emotion. So young and already learning how to hide his feelings.
Haru looked down, taking a deep breath, far too deep for someone his size, he leveled Itachi with an unyielding stare, whatever he had been bracing for was finally ready to come out.
"Are you… are you my papa?" He asked, voice small, mouth pursed in displeasure, as if the word left a bitter taste in its wake.
Itachi sighed, the similarities were undeniable, the curve of his brow, the tilt of his nose, the way the corner of their lips were set. If he did not see Sasuke in the set of his eyes and the way that he pursed his lips he could almost be convinced that Haru was his son. The shade of his hair was undeniably Sasuke, but the way his hair fell to frame his face looked almost eerily like his own.
"No," he responded softly. "I'm not your…" He swallowed, unable to get the word past his lips.
He nodded, clenching his tiny fists upon his knees, the answer seemed to please him, a small smile played upon his lips. The door creaked open and Temari peeked around the corner with Hinata by her side. The pale eyed beauty looked worn, and the clothes she was wearing were far too big on her, dark circles marred her pale face. Haru stood to meet her, small hands by his side, eyes concerned. Itachi had not been able to ask him why he had apologized to his mother as she cried, but he figured that he would now have time.
"Temari," her voice was strained, eyes fixed upon Itachi's face. "Would you take Haru to the store? We are out of tea."
Haru looked between his mother and her friend, who nodded and extended a manicured hand towards the boy. He hesitated but whatever he saw in his mothers face led him to relent, he took her hand, and began walking towards the door, his tiny jaw clenched as he looked back at his mother. Once the door closed behind them with a soft click Hinata headed towards the small kitchen, turning on the electric kettle and opening one of the two cupboards to take out two mugs.
"Is green tea still your preference?" She asked softly. "Though I'm afraid bagged tea will have to do." She didn't turn to look at him.
"Bagged tea is fine." He replied, he rested his hands on his knees and waited for her, wondering exactly why Haru had been sent away.
She set a mug of steaming tea in front of him, though he knew it was bagged and probably the cheapest she could afford, he knew that she took care in the way she brewed it. She sat before him, where Haru had sat before, she also adopted seiza and refused to look him in the eye.
"Hinata," he began, clearing his throat once and cringed, he felt like his father during meetings. Suddenly he wished he had taken off the coat he was wearing, although truth be told he feared he might be too cold without it.
"How did you find me?" She said, her voice soft, broken, still refusing to meet his stare.
"Kisame…" he swallowed, unsure as to how to tell her. "He saw you…" Her gaze flicked up to meet his now and her dread was palpable. It was his turn to avert his gaze away from her, the color draining from his face. "He said… so I…"
He wanted to be anywhere but here right now. He wished that he could just vanish, not one to be rattled simply by attractive women, he was unsure why admitting to her that he had seen her with considerably less clothing was making him so incredibly uncomfortable. Perhaps because he had not intended to see her that way, or maybe because she had been the girlfriend of his little brother, whatever the reason, it was making it difficult to look at her.
"I needed to make sure." He whispered as a form of apology, his eyes downcast, staring so intently at his tea he briefly wondered if it would begin boiling anew.
"Who else knows?" She asked him, her eyes decidedly not looking at him, a soft dusting of pink atop her cheeks.
"About your job? Or the fact that you were found? Or, perhaps, are you referring to the existence of my nephew?" The last word came out much stronger than he had originally intended, but somehow it had helped him regain the fortitude he had momentarily lost at the mention of her workplace.
To her credit, she did not flinch, and her eyes finally met his. Light lilac gray met black, and he noticed that the opalescent quality he remembered them having was gone. Her eyes no longer sparkled with life, they stared lifelessly at him, and for the first time since meeting her, he saw the resemblance between her and her father.
"All of it." She said succinctly, taking a sip from her tea.
"Kisame and I are the only ones that know about your job." His voice was soft, his head slightly cocked to the side, his eyes were not looking directly at her, but were instead lowered, as if he was reading the table, looking for the right words to say. "Temari makes 3, in regards to you being found." Slowly he lifted his gaze to hold hers, impassive.
She hummed, lifting the mug to her lips again. After a sip she gently set it down on the worn table and stood, walking to her room without looking back, or even allowing him the time to answer her last question. Before he could feel offended at her blatant disrespect, she reappeared, a box in her hands. She set the box beside her as she folded back into seiza in front of him. Taking a second to gather herself she lifted her gaze and stared intently at him, lifting the box and bringing it atop the table, and with what he could only call anguish coloring her gaze she slid it towards him. He looked between them, his brow furrowed in consternation before reaching for the box and opening it. It was full of letters, all bearing the distinct red seal reading "Return to Sender." He looked up, confused, but she only brought her mug to her lips, as if letting him know that the answer he was looking for was inside the box, within the content of the letters. He swallowed and prayed that his hands would not show the tremor he was sure would show. He picked up a letter and examined it. It had never been open, but the wear and tear of traveling in the post service was evident. Written with elegant but shaky penmanship he saw his brother's name and mailing address while he lived in the dorm at university. In the upper left corner he saw her name, written in the same careful script, and the address to what he could only assume was this place.
"He never opened them," he whispered. She shrugged, looking down as his eyes lifted to meet with hers.
"We were broken up," she said in a way of explanation. Her shoulders lifted with a sigh.
"Temari and I are the only ones who know, we did not… I had only expected to find you… alone." He hurriedly said, hoping that she would believe him. He did not know that she was pregnant when she disappeared. No one knew.
"Why did you… Were you looking for me?" She asked after much struggle, the words a rough whisper.
"Your father let it slip, when he was out drinking with mine, that you had not left for college, but instead vanished. That he was not looking for you to respect your wishes… but I… I worried, and though I did not look hard, I did hope you would eventually turn up." He rushed, he had never rushed before, but he feared that she would kick him out at any moment. "Haru… he…"
"Haru is none of your concern," she said, her soft voice sharp, her eyes unyielding. "I will not have you come into our lives and disrupt it."
"Hina," he winced, the nickname painful in his throat. "He asked… he asked if I was his dad."
The sharp intake of breath echoed through the small apartment, and her eyes narrowed in distress. She closed her hands around her mug, grabbing onto it as if a lifeline would materialize itself from it.
"You cannot deny his looks, sooner or later he will attend school, this city is small, someone is bound to recognize someone who looks so much like me… so much like him…" he pleaded. Itachi never pleaded, but the gunmetal eyes of his nephew, distrustful and yet hopeful had stirred something within him that he would not let go of now.
"You will not take him from me." She said through gritted teeth. "You, and your family were not... You have not been … He sent them back." He could tell that this was all difficult for her to put into words. He listened, and waited, and in that uncomfortable silence he watched her break.
"At first I didn't know what to do, he had just broken up with me when I found out." Her eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill, gentle rivers from the storm of her eyes. "I took precautions, I don't even know how it happened…" She sighed.
He blinked, fully focused on her words, afraid that speaking would break her from this monologue that he was sure was a long time coming, 5 years coming, with no one by her side to hear her breathe life to the words that festered in her heart.
"So I left, I didn't want to face the disappointment my father and my family would feel and I didnt want to burden him, not when he was getting ready to leave. He already made it clear that I was an obstacle that he didn't want to take with him when he left for school." With her free hand she dabbed at the corner of her eyes, as if willing the tears to stop there, to not turn into rivers upon her sunken cheeks.
"I figured, many women are single mothers, many women do this on their own." Her shrug was small, but it did nothing to hide the pain in her voice. "But I also thought he should know, so I wrote to him once I had found this place, at least I had a return address in case he wrote back." She stared at the box with the letters, tired. "The first letter took me so long, I was already around 4 months pregnant at the time and morning sickness was finally going away, the first 4 months had been the hardest… I attached a sonogram, in case he didn't be-believe me." The tears were flowing now, and he gently offered his handkerchief for her to take. Her empty eyes stared at the gesture for a second too long before taking it and dabbing her eyes with it.
"I kept writing, with updates on how Haru was doing. How the prenatal updates were going. How small he was at birth… Ho-How his first word had been "No"... I hadn't received anything back… I had hoped…" A sigh, followed by a sniffle. "One day I gathered enough courage to call. I think Haru must have been just over a year old. I… had no way of knowing if his number was even the same, but I figured… M-maybe I could check?" She laughed without mirth and fiddled with the handkerchief in her hands.
"He must have been at a party, it was so loud in the back. Another guy answered but I heard him tell Sa… him that someone was on the phone for him. I remember the voice was loud, louder than the music, but not louder than the laughs. I he-heard him say to just hang up the call, th-that it was no one important." She looked up to meet his eyes, and void of any levity she smiled. "I got the letters back a few weeks later."
Itachi didn't know if the anger he felt rising within him was justified in any way, but he looked at her, and looked around where she was living and thought of Haru and the rage that consumed him burned hot in his throat.
"M-may I have them?" He asked, clearing his throat. Sasuke has robbed him of his nephew's first sonograms, his first words, his first birthdays and he was not sure that there was anything in this world that would abate the anger he felt. She nodded and tilted her head to the side, attuned to something he could not hear, not a moment later and before he could ask, the door opened. A pink cheeked Haru stepped through the door, taking off his shoes at the entrance, placing them neatly by his mom's.
Itachi gathered the letters into the box and stood to meet the young boy. Hinata rose next to him, cleaning her palms over her jeans and plastering a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes on her face. Temari came in after him with a wolfish grin on her face.
"Mama," the boy approached her as you would approach an injured animal, and something about that made Itachi clench his fist harder.
"Yes darling?" She asked, kneeling down to maintain eye contact with her son.
"Miss Temari…" He looked back at the aquamarine eye woman and swallowed. "Miss Temari says that Haru could… I could learn Kyudo if I wanted to." His voice was on the verge of hopeful, but he did not allow himself the full extent of the feeling, as he rushed the words out he seemed to make himself smaller. "It's ok if not Mama, I understand."
Itachi and Temari exchanged looks horrified by how quickly Haru had dismissed his own request and how his eyes filled with anxiety as Hinata looked behind him to stare Temari down.
"Oh Haru…" she sighed and Itachi saw the minute flinch that racked through Haru's body. "I don't… I have work baby, I can't take you to practice…"
"That's fine Mama, I unders-" before he could finish the sentence with a smile as insincere as the one that Hinata was wearing, Itachi ruffled his hair.
"I'll take him. What time is practice?" He asked over his shoulder. Temari wrung her hands, eyes wide and concerned.
"They start at 3," she started, and much more quietly she added "Gaara would be his Kyoshi."
"Miss Temari said that Mama used to be good at Kyudo… Haru thought… Maybe Haru and Mama could be the same…" His small hands were clenching the fabric of his pants until his small knuckles shook and Itachi had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from buying the small boy the world.
Hinata stared at Haru, her eyes only soft when looking at her son, she sighed, rolled her eyes and stood, leveling Temari with a stare that would have made a lesser woman whimper.
"He gets off Kindergarten at 2," she slowly turned to look at Itachi, her eyes stopping momentarily at the box he clenched close to himself, before resting her eyes upon his own. "I start work at 5:00pm… Normally I would drop him off with his sitter before leaving for work… she brings him home by 11pm… I'm not usually home until much later." She trailed off, Temari furrowed her brows as she looked at Itachi, but he shook his head minutely.
"Haru has his house key," she leveled Itachi with a stare that said there was no room for negotiating.
"Wonderful. I'll have him home by 11 every night when there is practice." He nodded, watching as Temari breathed a gentle sigh of relief. He reached into the inside pocket of his coat and retrieved a personal business card, handing one to Hinata and one to Haru. "If you ever need me, please call. I think it is time for us to make ourselves scarce, we wouldn't want to overstay our welcome." Hinata looked at him like they already had very much overstayed their welcome and began walking them towards the door as Haru stared amazed at the card that he had been given, completely unsure as to what it was used for.
"Practice is everyday, Hina…" Temari sounded nervous as she whispered to Hinata.
"3 times a week." Hinata cut her off, "If, and only if, he decides to continue, we can discuss increasing his practice days. But I swear, if I hear just one word from him that you are doing anything to try and convince him to want more lessons I will take him and disappear again. Do not test me."
Temari threw her arms around Hinata and whispered a small thank you in her ear before letting her go and heading towards the now dark hallway. Itachi lingered, looking towards Haru who was now gently tidying up the mugs that were left behind. He looked down towards Hinata, locking eyes with her.
"Only when you are ready will I let others know, but do not keep him from me… I beg you." His voice, always gentle, always kind, was raw in this whisper. She was startled and for the first time since they arrived she bothered to actually look at him. Noticing pain that matched her own etched into his eyes, longing, as those eyes looked behind her towards Haru and the only thing she could do was nod. He smiled, dazzling her, and she remembered, if briefly, how much an Uchiha smile could hurt.
Uhm, please don't riot. I promise things get better.
Leave some words behind for me ye?
Edit: The document ate 3 words, they've been fixed
