So . . . this happened.
1.
"Master Kaiba? You know I have to ask."
"Do you? Do you, really?"
"How long has that song been on repeat?"
"They've played it one hundred and twenty times."
". . . Okay, there's a follow-up quest—"
"I haven't told them to turn it off because this is a test of wills."
". . . Right."
"Mokuba is under the impression that I am physically incapable of sitting on this couch and doing nothing for an entire Saturday. He bet his allowance for the month. It started this morning. After he realized that he might actually lose the bet, he started in on . . . this."
"Young Master Noa put him up to it."
"This is the day I will remember, whenever I start thinking it was a good idea to resurrect a synthetic ghost."
"Young Master Mokuba is teaching him how to dance."
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
"It's . . . kind of adorable, sir."
"That will be all."
"Of course."
2.
"Seto-sama, your palms are bleeding."
"I'm aware of that. Thank you."
"Would you like me to fetch a first aid kit? Perhaps a pair of nail-clippers, since those wounds appear to be self-inflicted?"
". . . Yes."
3.
"Uh . . . boss? I brought some dinner up for you."
"THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION! I APPRECIATE THE GESTURE!"
". . . Are you okay?"
"I'M PERFECTLY FINE!"
"Right. Gotcha."
4.
"N-Niisama . . . ? I . . . I brought you some coffee."
"And here, we see the fully grown Kaiba, in his natural habitat, slowly slipping into insanity."
"Is he . . . is he narrating a nature documentary?"
"Noa, you might want to . . . um . . . wait outside."
"If we watch closely, we can see the two young Kaibas approaching his lair. If they consume his flesh, they will become the grown Kaibas, and thus the cycle of life continues. But they must be careful. If they approach too quickly, they'll be seen. And I'm sure I don't have to warn you viewers at home that such a scene is too grisly to be shown on family TV."
"Niisama? We . . . we turned off the music. You win. Do you want . . . ?"
"Don't bother with a mug. Go back into the kitchen, grab the pot, and pour it over my head."
". . ."
"Don't think kissing my cheek is going to change anything. I haven't forgiven you. Chances are, I'll never forgive you. Do you know who I am? I mean, have you heard of me? I'm a master at holding grudges. I hold grudges like nobody's business. I'm a savant. I'm a fucking boss."
". . ."
"Oh. Sure. Just curl right up and use my shoulder as a pillow, why don't you? That's fine. Driving me batshit must be so exhausting, after all. Just get some sleep, my beautiful baby boy. You've earned it. I'm so proud of y . . ."
". . ."
"Ah . . . Aniue?"
"He's asleep, isn't he?"
"Yes, he is."
"I'm not going to be able to move my right arm for nine hours, am I?"
"No, you're not."
"You're insufferably proud of yourself right now, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am."
.
"Aniue" is a positively archaic term for 'older brother,' and I picked it for Noa primarily because in the other story that features the character in a prominent role, he uses the far more casual "Aniki," and I felt like this worked as a subtle distinction for his character. Especially since he calls his father "Chichiue" in the Japanese anime, which I'm pretty sure is equivalent.
Also, I just like titles. Having people call him "Seto" just feels weird in dialogue. Darren does it because . . . well, I suppose because he can.
Regarding the music. I'm not positive which song Mokuba and Noa played so many times in order to drive Seto up the wall. But if I had to guess, it was probably one of these:
Macklemore's "Thrift Shop," the original Swedish version of "Caramelldansen," or basically anything by Skrillex.
Considering the timeline of this story, right around 2007, it was probably "Caramelldansen."
. . . I regret nothing.
