Fair warning to everyone about to read this chapter:

This chapter is a continuation from Chapter 8. Please read at your own discretion.


When saying sorry isn't enough.

paper was torn

(Hinata in the past)


Trailing behind Itachi, Hinata tried to keep her eyes on the ground. Haru was soundly asleep in Itachi's arms, the others who had brought them here had made themselves scarce as soon as they had reached what she could only assume was Itachi's house. Kisame had driven Itachi's car back from her neighborhood and after parking it had given her a wink before hurrying towards the others to leave. Itachi managed to expertly maneuver Haru without rousing him to reach the keypad on his front door. With a soft ding and the sound of mechanical whirring the door unlocked. She watched as he pushed it open and without missing a single step walked inside. Hinata noted bitterly that he hadn't even bothered to look back at her to make sure she was following. She watched as he took off his shoes in the entrance, and without dropping the sleeping Haru slid the second door open walking into the house and down the hall.

She closed the sliding door behind her and, sighing she took her shoes off. Fixing Itachi's haphazardly discarded shoes and lining hers next to them she mused for a moment. Taking a moment to look around, a small smile formed on her lips unbidden. It should not come as a surprise that Itachi would live in a minka house but for some reason it did. Her eyes went to the flooring next, of course his house would be kyoma. Taking a tentative step onto the tatami of the genkan, she steeled herself to follow him inside. The sliding door opened into a much bigger room, based on the accommodations she surmised that it was the living room and dining room, noting with a hint of annoyance that she loved the set up. To the far left she could see the fusuma that divided the dining area from the kitchen, it was painted in gold with red spider lilies adorning its surface. Directly in front of her shoji doors would open to what Hinata could only guess was the engawa. She heard the soft slide of a door closing somewhere to the right of her, but still refused to move from where she stood in front of the genkan.

Itachi reappeared soon after from the shoji directly in front of her and motioned for her to take a seat at the dining table. She walked towards it carefully, making sure to not step on the divisions of the tatami. Gingerly she took a seat on the cushion and faced Itachi. He looked tired, like years of his life had gone by in a single night and for once Hinata felt ashamed of the current state she was in. Fighting the urge to speak first and apologize to him she tried her best to look dignified, though the pain her face and body were in were making it hard to look anything other than slightly miffed at the current situation.

"How long has this been going on?" Itachi's rough whisper made her look down and away, suddenly feeling more exposed than was comfortable.

"Things weren't easy when I first left home, I needed a place to stay." She shrugged dismissively but it looked too blase to be anything but fake bravado. "The rent was cheap and it was close to Hidden Pastures, which I am sure you remember is my place of work. I had been living out of a motel nearby, he was a regular patron and said he had a cheap apartment for rent. I was much more naive back then."

Disinterested, she noted that Itachi's hand had moved to rub his eyes. The flex along his jawline told her that he was clenching it. Anger was not something that she often associated with the older Uchiha and part of her was amazed that it was her situation that had roused it from him.

"At first it was fine, I paid rent on time and he left me alone for the most part." Sounding dispassionate was a skill that Hinata was not sure of when exactly she had mastered but it served her well during this conversation. "Since he was a regular at the bar I saw him more often than I would like to see a landlord, but it wasn't bad. I had managed to save enough money that I would be able to comfortably afford rent for a few months once Haru came and Karin, the owner, was kind enough to only make me work the bar the further along I got. Though most people didn't know I was pregnant until I reached 22 weeks."

When Itachi's gaze bore into her, she felt a sick sense of satisfaction. Not once had Hinata wished to make anyone feel bad for what she had to endure to raise Haru, but tonight she wanted to hurt him. This man had been kind and attentive to both her and her son. He had taken time out of his busy schedule to spend time with Haru and alleviate some of her financial distress by saving her babysitting money. He paid for all the Kyudo equipment and lessons. Oftentimes she came home to find a meal waiting for her accompanied by his neat script on the whiteboard that he purchased for the fridge. This man had been her savior, and her only friend in the past months but tonight Hinata wanted to hurt him as much as she had been hurt. The voracity of this feeling knocked the wind from her lungs once it made itself known and she did not know where this desire to harm him had come from, but the fear of being thought of as incompetent won out and she embraced it.

"How did you think I saved enough money to be comfortable after Haru came?" The saccharine tilt of her voice drained the blood from his face and she relished at the sight of it. "Food was the easiest thing to cut out, and the most expensive, making it the logical choice. My phone was a pay phone and I only ever used it to text and call one person, one time. Utilities were tricky, but I made do without using lights for a while, and since I wasn't cooking I only needed to worry about water consumption. The bar has a changing room and showers, so I often bathed there."

The way Itachi's eyes fractured before brought her a sense of joy that she almost felt disgusted by, but after what had transpired tonight and the threat he had delivered she found herself not caring. Holding his stare she methodically folded her hands on the table before them and whimsically fiddled with her fingers. Hinata didn't know where all this wrath was coming from, it left a bitter taste in her mouth, but somewhere in the back of her brain a voice whispered to push forward, this way if he decided to leave it would be due to something she did, not due to something he learned of later, leaving her lost and insecure as she had been left by his brother. Intrinsically she knew that Itachi was nothing like Sasuke, that he would not be swayed by mere words, Hinata knew that Itachi was stronger than them both and would have probably found a different answer than she had at the time, but the part of her that was tired of hurting, tired of asking questions and tired of not being good enough for her son in her eyes won out, and she lashed out, afraid.

"Haru was 5 pounds when he was born, in case you were wondering. He was also around 2 weeks early." Horror was the only way to possibly describe the look in Itachi's eyes. Undeterred she continued. "I had enough money to cover 4 months not working, but I wasn't producing milk, and since he was so small he spent some time in the NICU, draining whatever funds I had. Word spreads fast in establishments like those, as you can probably imagine." Unwittingly she took a deep shuddering breath.

Try as she may, Hinata could not fully detach from the memories. Haru was her whole life and she had sacrificed so much to make sure that he was provided for. Though her tone was dispassionate now she still could remember the desperation she felt at trying to keep them both alive. She only ate when it was absolutely necessary after he was born, but had spent most of her precious money making sure that the meals that she ate while pregnant with him were as nutritious as possible. She knew she wasn't eating enough, and she did everything in her power to eat more. She visited soup kitchens, and food pantries. She painstakingly took care of not missing a single appointment at the doctor, and cried bitterly when she failed to put on the weight she needed for them both to survive. The fierceness with which she loved Haru had nothing to do with his father and everything to do with him being Haru. She still remembered the first time she held him, so small and fragile in her arms. His first words and his first steps. The anxiety she felt at not being able to feed him, the fear at having to leave him behind with Suigetsu and Jugo to care for him. None of those things would ever be taken from her, but right now this trip down memory lane was her only way to injure Itachi as he had injured her. It was the only way she had to defend herself and to maintain whatever tenuous control she had in the situation at hand.

"Toneri came to collect rent one day… and wouldn't take my money or no for an answer." Though she was looking straight into his eyes Hinata was not seeing him. Somewhere deep inside she understood this to be disassociation, but did not want to delve too deep into what it meant. "It didn't always happen. But it happened enough. He never… said it was ruined because of Haru. But he… He took plenty from me." She finished hastily, not wanting to go into more detail. "I made sure that Haru was not around, and in the odd time or two that he was I would lock him in his room. I made sure to be quiet. Tonight was a fluke… Toneri had never blown up like that before."

Itachi never broke eye contact with her, but he was breathing hard. His obsidian eyes were devastated as he looked at her, mouth slightly agape. In a sick twisted way Hinata felt proud that she had elicited such a response from him, and lifted her chin defiantly trying to keep the grin that threatened to split across her face. She had never imagined that she, out of all people, would leave Itachi speechless and the part that had become broken over the years wanted to laugh hysterically. She wanted to scream and rage. To throw whatever she could get her hands on.

"Your family-" He began, but stopped when she raised her hand.

"I do not know who my father presents himself as in public, but do not think for a second that he would have let me keep him." This was something she had agonized countless of hours over, she knew as she carried Haru that he would have wanted it dealt with, she was an aspiring Kyudo Kyoshi, Heiress to the Hyuuga Dojo, he would not have wanted her to throw her life and career away so young. As Haru aged she did wonder if he would allow her to come back with her son, but knew that he would probably send him away to be cared for by a distant relative. A stain that was impossible to wash off, but could be hidden if one tried hard enough.

"Quit your job." He finally said after what felt like hours of silence but was only probably a few minutes. "Call Karin, tell her you're done."

She laughed now, hysteria taking over her features. Not only did he want to threaten to take her child away but now he wanted to cripple her financially. Hinata briefly wondered if this was karma, or if she had somehow wronged someone from the Uchiha bloodline in her past life. Her opalescent eyes stared at him as though he had grown another head, the giggles bubbling from her lips didn't seem to be nearing their end.

"And do what, Itachi? Sit here, look pretty?" The bitterness in her words was unmistakable and she barely managed to string the words together in the pauses between her laughter.

"Honestly, I don't give a damn what you do. Go back to school, pick up a hobby, spend time with your son." He shrugged, leaning back on his arms. "There are enough rooms here, stay, find a different job. I'll move to the storage room behind you, you and Haru can have the rooms on the right."

"And what? Give you what Toneri took to earn my keep?" Hinata had never been one to sound this bitter but her nerves were frayed at this point and she did not care for the tone he was using with her.

"Fuck you Hinata," the whispered curse brought her back to her senses and her eyes widened in shock. "I was wrong in directing my anger towards you tonight, but you do not get to pretend that I am anything like that piece of shit. Stay, go, quit your job or don't."

The silence that followed was deafening, and Hinata bit her lips to keep from crying. She had lashed out in anger, lying through her teeth and pretending to be unbothered by the words that left her mouth, but the way that Itachi's obsidian eyes roamed over her face made it clear that he had not believed her fully. Though he could not discern exactly what she had lied about, he knew that there were parts of her story that she had fabricated specifically to hurt him tonight, and he allowed it, not asking for a single explanation. Itachi stood and moved towards the fusuma behind her.

"There is a futon in the second room on the right, Haru's on the first." He paused at the fusuma, before opening it. "I don't give a shit what you decide to do, but Haru deserves better." These words were murmured, but Hinata heard them loud and clear, a small sob finally escaped her lips, but it was now too late.

Sliding the door open he disappeared behind her, the sound of the fusuma sliding close was deafening. Hinata sat there, stunned for what felt like years to her. The way she had behaved was uncalled for, she knew this but the rage she felt at the idea of Itachi taking her son from her made her feel justified in her quest to hurt him as much as possible during this brief conversation. Now, in the warm glow of the lights that illuminated the living and dining room area and in the cold silence he left behind when he closed the undecorated fusuma that she had failed to notice upon entry, she could feel nothing but shame. Hinata knew that Itachi had not intended to hurt her, that he was disappointed to learn that she had put Haru at risk, and in the warmth of his home she was appalled at herself. She knew that if she told him of the struggle that it is to wake up, he would listen and not judge her. That if she voiced how her body ached when she moved, how her eyes were heavy with sleep that she couldn't seem to find, that sometimes the call of the void was so strong it left her breathless, Itachi would find a way to help her.

It wasn't pride that kept her from asking for help, she didn't have much of that left anyway, but fear and shame were much stronger motivators than pride would ever be. The years alone in that impossible situation had left her sore to kindness, and easy to irritate. Long gone was her kind and welcoming disposition, eroded by the harsh realities of the world, her naivete had cost her dearly in the early months and years and she didn't want to make that mistake again. She would have killed Toneri before he ever set a hand on Haru, but how could Hinata make Itachi see that? When all she had shown him was the remnants of a broken woman, willing to close her eyes and ears to the damage she was causing around her for the sake of surviving just one more day?

All it had taken was a few whispers in the past to show her a path that she had not considered, sleepless nights filled with wondering that culminated with her fears being realized. Was it a self-fulfilling prophecy? Or was destiny finally showing Hinata her hand back then? She couldn't be sure now, and it was too late to dwell on how things would be different if she had been braver back then. This moment, right now, was all that was left for her, it was all she knew how to survive but part of her was still that 18 year old, scared that life was so inconsiderate and inconsistent. The fear that bubbled in her stomach made its way to her throat making her words vile, lashing out at anyone who would help for fear that they would leave or use her. Itachi had done nothing to deserve what she had done tonight, but she had done it anyways and now she had to live with that choice as well.

Shakily Hinata stood and slowly walked towards the shoji doors in front of her. Hinata slid them open taking note to be careful not to make a sound and entered the engawa, once there she slid the door close behind her. Taking a moment to get her bearings, she noticed that there appeared to be a bathroom next to her on her left, the hallway continued to the right where she imagined the rooms he mentioned were. Mechanically she walked in that direction, noticing that there were indeed 3 rooms on that side. The last door to her right seemed to be another bathroom, a fusuma stood partly closed on the wall adjacent to the bathroom entry. She guessed this is where Itachi had placed Haru. Hinata peeked into the room, relief washing over her as she laid eyes on her son sleeping soundly. For once she could not find it in herself to stop and kiss his forehead as she often did as he slept, instead she fully closed the fusuma and walked to the one adjacent to the left.

Itachi had laid down a futon for her, a knot forming in her throat. Once inside and with the fusuma firmly closed behind her she finally slid to the floor letting the tears that she had held at bay only by fake bravado finally spill from her eyes. Hinata cried quietly, as to not wake her son and sure that even a single sob would have Itachi at her door asking for her to open it. She didn't deserve this kindness, she didn't deserve him. It seemed that it was now too late for her to turn around and run. Hinata moved slowly towards the futon he had carefully laid out for her and crawled inside it, hoping that the enveloping darkness of the soft comforter would muffle her sobs.

Morning came much sooner than she expected and for a moment she was disoriented. The warm tones in the room were most certainly not the bare white walls of her apartment. Sunlight streamed through the window directly in front of her, and in the quietness of what she could only surmise was late afternoon she heard sounds coming from somewhere in the house. Panicked, Hinata remembered where she was and standing faster than she probably should have, she slid the fusuma open and rushed into the engawa towards the shoji door around the corner. Hinata slid it open forcefully and stopped, her hair in disarray and her breaths coming in the staccato of fear. Scanning the living and dining room area her eyes came to rest upon the decorated fusuma that led to the kitchen. There she spotted Haru rounding the corner, brow furrowed in concentration as he gingerly held a plate that he was bringing towards the dining table. Itachi was not far behind him wearing a pair of dark jeans, a light cotton button up shirt and an apron tied around his waist. His eyes flashed towards him but did not linger, instead focusing on Haru as he helped to set the table.

Setting the place of food down he looked up at Itachi and beamed. The man in return ruffled the boy's hair. Hinata was glued where she stood, and almost flinched when her son finally looked her way.

"Mama!" Haru exclaimed, his short legs walking carefully over the tatami towards her. He slows as he approaches her concerned marring his features as he took in the way she looked.

"Haru, show your mama where the bathroom is." Itachi said cooly as he headed back into the kitchen where Hinata could hear the sound of more things cooking.

Haru grabbed her hand and with grim determination he led her outside onto the engawaga and down the hall where the rooms they used last night were, past hers and past his to the final door to the right of the hall. He stood on his tip toes and opened the door for her.

"Bathroom is here, mama. Tachi and I are making lunch." His clear voice sounded adorably cute as Haru tried to sound mature. Hinata smiled and nodded.

"I'll find you after I freshen up. Go help Itachi." She tried to sound reassuring, but her voice was hoarse. Her heart fractured as Haru furrowed his brow and nodded, letting go of her and slowly walking the way they came, glancing back at her every few steps.

Taking a deep breath she stepped into the bathroom noting how the entire house was so incredibly traditional that she didn't feel lost while in it. In front of her was the toilet, to the right was the shower and bath. The sink was in the first room once entering the bathroom area. Hinata headed to the sink, where she noticed new toothbrushes in the holder and with trembling hands she braced against it before finally facing her reflection in the mirror. Her face did not look nearly as bad as she envisioned it looking, her lip was swollen and there was discoloration on her left temple that extended under her eye. The contusion on her face had bloomed into a deep purple, striking against her pale skin. Gingerly she touched it with the pads of her fingers, wincing at the tender flesh. Running the water in hopes to warm it, Hinata tried not to hyperventilate in the small space. Images from the night prior played like a slideshow in her mind, reminding her of not only what she had said but of what Itachi had witnessed. If at all possible she would like to dig a hole and bury herself in it. Cupping her hands she collected some of the luke warm water and proceeded to gently wash her face. A brush sat in a caddy directly to her left and hoping that he would not mind her using it she ran it through her hair, untangling knots that had been born of the violence from the night prior and had cemented over her sleep. Hinata used the toilet and brushed her teeth before finally emerging and heading towards the dining room area. There she found Haru waiting patiently sitting on one of the zabutons that lined the table. Itachi sat next to him leaving only the zabuton across from them for her to occupy. Slowly she lowered herself onto it, acutely aware of the pair of eyes studying her. Taking a look around the table with a knot forming in her throat, the offerings were simple, but they were done well.

"Tachi and I made lunch." Haru supplied proudly. "Tachi let me bring the dishes to the table." This was said much more quietly, a tentative air of apprehension tinting the words as they left his mouth.

"Haru did wonderfully." Itachi grabbed his chopsticks and placed a piece of fish onto Haru's rice. "We should eat before it gets cold."

Hinata nodded, words suddenly failing her. Lunch was a quiet affair, the silence only interrupted by Itachi and Haru discussing what dishes they should try making next. Hinata avoided Itachi's eyes the entire meal and only smiled tightly at her son when his gunmetal eyes pierced her own. Once they had finished eating Haru and Itachi began to clear the table, her son throwing worried glances in her direction as he diligently helped bring dishes into the kitchen for Itachi to clean. She remained unmoving staring intently at the table, her hands resting tensely in her lap. Hinata barely registered Itachi's whispered instructions to Haru and the sound of the shoji door sliding closed behind her.

"Let's go shopping," he said casually while leaning on the fusume at the entry of the kitchen. "Haru and you will need new things, he has school tomorrow…"

Hinata simply nodded, too tired and ashamed to even direct her gaze in his direction. Itachi approached her slowly, the ruffling sound of fabric the only indication that he was nearing her. Hinata was sure that he did it for her benefit. He rested a hand on the crown of her head and ruffled it.

"We both said things we didn't mean last night." His whispered words traveled through her body like a cold droplet of water, making her shiver. "For what it is worth Hinata. I am sorry."

Shopping with Itachi was nothing like she ever imagined, for some reason she had pictured him unable to deny Haru anything. He was gentle but firm, encouraging and amicable. Haru had first looked around in awe before tempering his expectations and choosing the cheapest and simplest of household items that he could find. When he learned the value of money was lost to her and Itachi's words from last night haunted her. A rumble in her soul as deep as his obsidian gaze, a soft caress of night right before the storm. Hinata noted with fear and apprehension as Itachi gazed lovingly at her son, explaining that while the item might be more costly it will last longer, thus not requiring a replacement so soon. She watched as her son's brow furrowed and as he hesitantly nodded in understanding. Silently she followed them around the store, keeping her head bowed in an attempt to avoid the curious stares of those around them. They would settle on her, eyes widened and concerned before naturally falling upon Itachi, with frowns of distaste. Belatedly she realized that she looked like a battered wife and Itachi was now being subjected to disapproval. If he noticed it did not show, he walked proudly, eyes straight ahead as he held Haru's hand in one and pushed the cart with the other.

She listened, only half there as the shame consumed her, as they discussed what color to paint his room. The image of a nursery coming to life under the careful hands of Itachi flashed unbidden into her mind and she had to stop to catch her breath. The two ahead of her stopped, turning to look for her as if they had felt the absence of her silent presence immediately. Haru rushed to her side, eyes wide and fearful looking directly at her. His gunmetal eyes burned her as they searched hers for an explanation to whatever upset her so. Itachi abandoned the cart and before Hinata could register that she was crying her face was buried deep into his shirt. He had pulled her into him using only one hand, the other hand now rested atop Haru's head as Itachi shielded her and her tears from a world that had too many questions and too many judgemental gazes. Startled she flinched, but it was not long before she relaxed into his awkward embrace. He smelled of yesterdays that were best forgotten and tomorrows that she could not be promised. Most of all, he smelled of home.

Hinata spent much of her time doing household chores, although Itachi insisted that she did not have to. Haru liked to help during his free time between homework and practice. Itachi mandated that he be in charge of weekend breakfasts. Somehow they had all fallen into place. Like Jigsaw pieces that had been forced into matching with the wrong ones for too long, it had not been an easy transition to finally find the place where you belonged. Haru's room had been painted Chambray Blue and Itachi had reorganized the storage room into his office and bedroom at once, explaining that he wanted her to feel like she had her own space. All protests that she raised were met with impassive black eyes and a miniscule tilt of his lips.

At his behest she began to frequent a therapist, a kind older woman with unruly brown hair and kind brown eyes that reflected the light in such a way that it made them look red. At first she had been hesitant, feeling exhausted by the prospect of even speaking to anyone about what she had endured, but in due time she was able to explore everything that had happened. From how Haru had changed her life, to how the break-up with Sasuke had been brought about not just by the things she had heard but by her own inability to find value within herself. Slowly she began piecing her confidence back together and healing from the damage that had not just been inflicted on her but also had been self-inflicted these past years. Kurenai suggested she paint, since Hinata had been vehemently against going back to Kyudo at this time, fearful that she would encounter her family and not at all ready to see them yet.

Haru had been delighted and asked with hopeful whispers if she would tell him stories in relation to the things she drew. Itachi had been supportive, helping her turn the final room in his home into a studio. Having the tatami torn from the floors had probably hurt him in ways that he couldn't really articulate, but the forlorn look in his eyes had been so prevalent and exaggerated that Haru and Hinata had not been able to hold the giggles from turning into full blown laughter. Itachi had smiled, albeit a bit sadly, but embraced the changes in his home with an aplomb that Hinata could not help but envy. With the encouragement from Haru, Itachi and her therapist Hinata began to write down the stories she told Haru to accompany her paintings, growing a collection so substantial that she wondered what she would do with them all. The question did not remain unanswered for long as Itachi rushed into her studio panting, hair disheveled and suit jacket only half off his shoulders, a sign that whatever he needed to tell her had happened as he checked his mail in his office. Something he normally did as he shed the jacket from his shoulders. Despite the clear joy in his eyes there was trepidation, shame and guilt swimming alongside it as he handed her a letter that was addressed to him.

Hinata set down the brush she had been using to watercolor some bunnies in Mars for a story of space exploration that she planned to tell Haru and grabbed the letter from his hands. She looked at it curiously and reached inside for the contents. Hinata's brows furrowed as she read the award letter to a competition she didn't know she had entered, her face flushed scarlet as realization dawned on her that Itachi had done this on her behalf and had not told her. She raised her eyes to look at him, fury making them as cold as ice and found him looking contrite and sheepish. It had taken a few sessions with Kurenai for Hinata to find it in herself to forgive him, and to embrace the opportunity his breach of trust and privacy had brought to her.

It was thanks to Kurenai that Hinata had made allowances that she would not have made before, allowing visits from Mikoto and Fugaku once they had been found. Working through the anger and bitterness she held against them without even knowing that it was there. Blaming them for the hurt their son had caused was misplaced anger, and though it took some time for her to work through it she was diligent in her therapy, embracing the changes it brought to her life and the smiles that came easier. When they began discussing the effects that her choices had on Haru and whether or not it was necessary to pursue therapy with him as well, she had asked him for his opinion. Haru had smiled brightly and agreed to go to sessions himself. She couldn't help but feel as though despite his enthusiasm, he was mainly going because he felt that it would please her.

She brought up that concern with Kurenai, who smiled softly and reminded her that she was not at liberty of discussing what Haru spoke with his therapist about, but advised that Hinata should ask for his opinion more often, helping him to slowly realize that his existence had worth and that his words held weight. Hinata knew that what she had put Haru through was nothing short of abuse, and while there were many nights in which she broke down in tears at the damage her stupidity had caused she never stopped trying to improve for her son. Internally she wondered how she ever let it get as bad as it did, how she even excused the actions that were taking place around her as necessary. Through her therapy she learned of Postpartum Depression and how it had probably affected the way that she bonded with Haru, seeing him more like a responsibility that she had to ensure the survival of, rather than a human being that had feelings and thoughts of their own.

For months she worked with Kurenai, dismantling the darkest recesses of her mind, going over all her actions, her words, and the way that she coped with the impossible situation she had put herself in. A situation that a myriad of other mental health disorders had made it impossible for her to see a way out, even when it was staring at her in the form of kind obsidian eyes. Hinata would never be able to thank Itachi for all he had done, and she would never be able to really articulate how wonderful it felt to finally sit down with her family to talk. Her world was expanding beyond the broken down apartment in a questionable part of town, and as her field of view grew clearer Hinata felt like she could finally breathe. The years of words that choked the air from her lungs were cleared and for the first time in a long time Hinata could feel hope, strong and sure, blooming in her heart.


Translation notes:

Minka: Traditional Japanese House

Kyoma: Tatami Mat measuring method (When a room is measured by the number of Tatami in the room)

Genkan: Foyer

Fusuma: vertical rectangular panels which can slide from side to side to redefine spaces within a room, or act as doors

Shoji: door, window or room divider used in traditional Japanese architecture, consisting of translucent (or transparent) sheets on a lattice frame

Engawa: an edging strip of non-tatami-matted flooring in Japanese architecture, usually wood or bamboo

Zabuton: A zabuton is a Japanese cushion for sitting.

I will be posting the floorplan to Itachi's house in my tumblr for those interested ( emihkka)


I know the first part of this chapter is going to be hard to swallow for many of you. For that I apologize. I wanted to demonstrate that shame and guilt were incredibly strong motivators in how people act and react to those around them. There was a lot of hurt inside Hinata, and a lot of anger. There is a reason I titled the fic the way that I did. Please be kind when reading this chapter, and please take a moment to step back and think about how you would react (realistically) when ashamed, angry and tired. We all have this romanticized idea of how we would face certain things. We think about it extensively. We run through scenarios in our head, only to not react like it at all once it comes down to it. So please, do not think of these perfect scenarios that we can always win and come out looking magnificent in our minds, think of the ugliness that is the real world and real reactions when our feelings are running high.

I thank you all for the time you take to read my fic and the time it takes to leave your notes behind. The Nala Council says hello as well.

In a much brighter note, this is the last chapter to deal with this part of their life so look forward to the future only.

Much Love,

Emi