Hihi sorry this is late. There was a struggle trying to get the story to come out at all. Some chapters are just problematic children.


fragile whispers

things understood between the silences they share


To say that Haru was confused by the presence of Kisame and Suigetsu at the school gate would be an understatement. The last time he was escorted home from school was immediately after he moved in with Itachi. At the time he was too young to really understand, but now with a few more years under his belt and better understanding of the world he realized that it had been done for his protection. Though he was not sure what he had needed from protection then.

Now it was even more confusing, his life was stable, mother was stable… Haru stopped dead in his tracks, fear made his stomach feel as though he had consumed sand, it churned uncomfortably. What if… mother? Did something happen to his mother? He hurried his step, heading towards the two menacing men, he tried to look calm and was proud of himself for smiling kindly at the two men. Kisame's grin back was feral and Suigetsu looked bored.

"Is everything alright?" Haru tried to make sure his voice did not waver, and he clenched his hands on the strap of his messenger bag hoping that it would disguise the tremble of his fingers.

"Waztat?" Suigetsu asked confusedly and scratched his temple.

Kisame rolled his eyes and with a slight tilt of his head looked down towards Haru. He had never felt intimidated by the beast of a man before, but today whatever courage he normally managed to summon in the presence of him was nowhere to be found. Kisame reached over and ruffled Haru's hair, a smirk playing along his lips.

"Nothing's wrong, squirt. You know how Itachi gets sometimes." The tone was dismissive but Haru knew better than to take it at face value.

Though Kisame looked to be more brawn than brains, there was no denying the glint in his dark eyes that spoke of secrets best left undisturbed. Haru relaxed instantly at his reassurance. Itachi did get particularly sensitive about safety at least once a year, though he was not sure why. Part of him wondered if it had something to do with Toneri's parole hearings, but he had long ago surmised that asking would get him nothing but cryptic answers that amounted to nothing more than lip service. He figured that if he needed to know, he would be told. Trusting that Itachi and his mother would not keep important things from him unless absolutely necessary. Besides, a few well placed questions to Aunt Hanabi would reveal whatever they wanted to keep to themselves anyway.

"Why are you two together? I didn't know that Suigetsu was your friend." Innocence was a skill he had mastered at a young age, if he made himself look less threatening it made it easier to find the answers that he wanted.

"We aren't." Suigetsu scoffed and looked at Haru as though he had been made to swallow something particularly bitter.

"He works for me now," Kisame supplied. "I need muscle in my firm."

Muscle. As though the visage of Kisame coming for you wasn't terrifying on its own. Suigetsu was much slimmer than the older man, and though he did look like a nightmare on his own, Haru struggled to understand why Kisame would need additional muscle. Didn't he run a Loan Shark relief firm? Why would he need muscle to do that? Deciding that this was not a question he was that invested in having answered, he gathered his thoughts and for once took notice of the fact that people were staring. Taking a deep breath, Haru looked between the two adults and motioned for the walk to start with a tilt of his head. He had to admit, being sandwiched between the two men was not necessarily the most comfortable way to walk home, but it was better than the silence today. He enjoyed the walks in silence, the moments to reflect on the day, to think through his practice and to spend time on his own. There were days like today, where the anxiety sparked and he welcomed the noise around him, helping him focus on something other than his all consuming thoughts. Another unspoken benefit of them being around for his walk home was that they became easily distracted, and meandered the streets as though they had no care in the world, granting him precious time to simply ruminate on the various things that often plagued his thoughts. From how to improve his form, to what to make for lunch with his uncle over the weekend. Thoughts sometimes came unbidden, plaguing him and preventing any real productive thinking from taking place. He had learned from his therapist that intrusive thoughts were normal, given what he had witnessed and gone through. They were nothing to worry about, and yet he could not help but worry. Asuma would give him that lopsided grin that he had become accustomed to and with a dry laugh would remind him that he was too young to carry so many worries, but he just could not help it.

Kisame and Suigetsu were engrossed in a conversation that Haru was sure he was not supposed to be hearing, and despite his burning curiosity he did his best to tune them out. They were taking the long way home, walking through the city instead of the quiet neighborhoods he frequented when he walked home on his own, or accompanied by Shinki. Haru was not a city boy by any means, preferring the quiet solitude that was provided by his grandparents and Itachi's house instead. There were times in which he enjoyed venturing into the bustle of the city, it helped him quiet down the thoughts that often ate at him. Belatedly he wondered if this was a conversation he should have with Asuma, resolving to write it down once he was home. Writing was something he began doing once his mother began writing down the stories that came with the paintings she created. At first it had been a way to connect with her, finding common ground where he previously believed there had been none. Soon he found it to be cathartic, and though he did not share his mother's predilection for world building, he did find that putting words into paper in the neat script - that suspiciously resembled Itachi's - gave him catharsis much different than the wakyu and the training ever did.

Lost in his thoughts he continued to meander with the two adults, who were now engaged in heated conversation about something relating to the law and the lack of protection it offered those less fortunate. He would have continued to be content listening half heartedly to the men, until he saw him. The man resembled his grandmother in a way that he couldn't quite put his finger on. The shape of his eyes was similar to hers, and though the line of his jaw was too sharp to really see her face within his, there was something about his features that felt familiar to Haru. Even then, Haru was sure the man with unruly raven hair and onyx eyes, that he had briefly encountered in the ramen shop, was someone that shared a relation with that was deeper than the eyes that stared at him from behind the man that resembled the sun. He was leaving a building that housed condominiums. Haru had heard girls at school sigh dreamily of the views the building provided, and had heard boys boast of their parents' connections to owners, hoping that it would increase their value in the eyes of the girls who dreamt of setting foot inside. Aware that the Uchiha household was a conglomerate that would easily afford them one of the coveted condos within the building, he was not surprised that the man, who so resembled both his grandmother and him, would be coming from within it.

Kisame finally noticed that Haru had stopped to stare, his gunmetal eyes scrutinizing the man from a distance. The movement was so fast and natural that if he had not known him better, Haru would have thought it inconsequential. When Kisame expertly maneuvered himself to block his line of sight a lead ball fell into Haru's stomach. Displayed proudly on the messenger bag that the man carried was the unmistakable fan that oxygenated the Uchiha flame. Suigetsu was slower to catch on, and thus much more obvious in his attempt to distract Haru from the man across the street. Eye contact had not been established but even without the suspicious behavior from his self appointed guard, he would have noticed that there was something about that man that they desperately wanted him to avoid.


Things had settled into a routine, and Haru hated things that deviated from it. There were things that never changed, one could always count on the sun to rise. Haru could always count on the predictability of his day. His mother would sometimes come home late, smelling of dried watercolors, with stains on her clothes from when she miraculously managed to miss her apron and drip the pigment into the fabric of her clothes instead. She would smile at him, ask how his day at school went, and if he had practice she would inquire about that as well. Haru was grateful, the smell of salt - acrid and bitter - that often accompanied her was harder to detect as the years went by, but he could count on it never being too far behind. A ghost that haunted her and wouldn't let go. Shackles that kept her the same even as she changed. This was not something he had discussed with his therapid, though he knew that he should. Finding comfort in the grief that followed his mother like an ink stain that was hard to wash off would surely raise concern. To him, it symbolized a promise, a certainty that no matter how much things changed they would still remain the same.

Kisame's smile was strained, Suigetsu's laugh was too loud. Nothing they could do would erase the image burned into his brain. The man, with unruly hair and the eyes of his grandmother, was deeply connected to him. The white and red fan adorning the bag he carried was a tether that could never be severed, despite everyone's efforts to pretend otherwise. He smiled at them politely as they reached the gates to the house he and his mother shared now. Kisame ruffled his hair as he bid him goodbye, his dark and beady eyes stared at him knowingly. A sigh was trapped in his throat, and for once Haru saw the invincible man hesitate before whatever appeared to haunt him was put to rest, never to be heard by anyone and never to be breathed into life. Suigetsu's smile was strained as he also wished Haru a good afternoon, unwitting nourishment for the doubts that had begun to sprout in his mind.

Haru headed towards the front door, opening it slowly as to appear nonchalant, Nothing ever changed, from the way he took off his shoes at the genkan to the way that he carefully placed his book bag next to the stairs leading up to the rooms. He noted with a small frown that he could not hear his mother, though he knew that she should be home early today. Haru backtracked, padding softly towards the office by the entrance; his mother could often be found there, too absorbed in painting to notice her surroundings. He knocked lightly on the door and after waiting a few seconds opened it, peering inside to find the studio smelling of the earthy tones that accompanied the many plants within it. Haru took a few steps inside, finding Hinata hunched over the desk closest to the east facing window, brow furrowed at the painting taking life before her, her brush sitting between her fingers was suspended in time, a motion that was never finished.

"Mama," he spoke a bit louder than he normally would have knowing that she was listening to music and might not hear him over it. He watched as her eyes fluttered away from the painting and up to him going from dull and flat to full of mirth.

"Haru!" Her soft voice called, Hinata gently placed her brush down on a paper towel as she simultaneously took her headphones off. "Welcome home. I didn't hear you come in ." She mentioned as she hit the screen on her phone, pausing the gentle tones that were coming from the headphones she had placed on the desk.

"I'm home mama." He replied softly. Haru searched her face, taking in her features and trying to match them to his own. From his brow to his chin he found himself in her face. The high cheekbones could have come from either side if Itachi was anything to go by, however his jawline was unmistakable Uchiha. Not as soft as Mikoto's nor as sharp as Itachi's.

Hinata looked at him with concern as she motioned for him to take a seat on the loveseat nearby. It was then that he realized that he had not moved nor spoken since telling her that he had arrived home and had instead been staring intently at his mother with no forthcoming explanation. He padded towards the loveseat and sitting down he stared at his hands, wondering how he would even bring the topic up. Hinata waited patiently. Over the years they had both learned that waiting in silence was often the best way for them to communicate. The soft breaths that filled the room would tell them if the conversation would be difficult or not. Haru could tell that his breathing was forced into a slow calm that he did not feel, his mother's breathing was gentle, though slightly faster than his own. This told him that she picked up on his anxiety and it only made the knot in his stomach twist painfully as he desperately searched for the words that he wanted to use.

"Itachi is not an only child." Haru stated, though not sure if this was exactly how he wanted to start the conversation. He lifted his gaze to look at her. Hinata had cocked her head to the side and looked at him with faint confusion. "He has a… brother… right?"

" Hmm.. He does." Hinata answered after a brief silence, there was a furrow between her brows that broadcasted her confusion at the question, but also panic in her eyes as they met his own. "Why do you ask?"

"My father's in town," he said finally, breathing into life words that he never thought would come out of his mouth.

Once upon a time Haru thought his father to be dead. Itachi never mentioned him, Mikoto and Fugako never spoke of him when he was around. Logically he thought this meant that he had passed. Were it not because he had overheard Shisui talking to Itachi about the lack of communication when he was around 12 he probably would still be under the impression that the younger Uchiha was dead. Hinata's eyes widened a fraction, but enough for him to tell that he had taken her by surprise. This was not something that he was supposed to know, and though he understood that everyone around him was protective, he couldn't help the pain that bloomed in his chest at their deception.

"H-how…?" Panic was a peculiar shade in his mother's voice. It raised her pitch the same way that surprise did, but unlike the latter it colored her words breathless in pain. "Haru, let me explain… I…"

"I saw him on my walk home… D-does he know…? He saw me with Gaara-shishou, but he…" No, he couldn't know. He remembered that they had made eye contact, and that the blonde man had looked stupefied when he saw him, but there was no familiarity in their eyes.

"I… I don't know." There was honesty and pain in her words, but Haru was not satisfied, his gunmetal eyes hardened, her lilac gray ones watered. "I did… my best to let him know of you but I never heard… I don't know." She was gasping now, and Haru could tell that she wanted to reach for him but was stopping herself. Allowing him the right to set boundaries.

"Do… Do I have to meet him?" He hated how his voice had shrunk, and hated how small he felt. The idea of allowing someone into their small world made him feel interminably insecure, this peace had been hard to earn and the idea of anything disrupting was more than he wanted to bear. "He… doesn't know me… Do I have to…?"

"Oh my darling Haru." Hinata sighed and reached one hand to gingerly touch his knee. "Only if you want to…" She whispered softly as the tears finally slid from his terrified eyes.

His hands reached up, and he covered his eyes with them. He wanted to erase the image from his mind. The way the raven hair looked almost blue in the light, the way his eyes reminded him of his own, only much darker. He wanted to forget that he ever saw him, and wished, if only too late, that he could take the questions back. If only he had pretended he never saw him, maybe things wouldn't have to change.


Author's Note:

I wasn't really sure where this was going to be honest. When I started writing it it was flowing really well but then it kind of petered out and decided it didn't want to come out at all. I wanted to portray that Haru is scared by the changes he can't control, which is understandable considering everything that has happened to him. The upcoming chapter is going to be a break from everything so far to kind of balm our way to the heartbreak that is coming. I also kind of have a few other stories rattling in my brain that I don't want to start until I conclude this one. We're reaching the moment everyone has been waiting for though! A lot of things will either be falling into place in the next few chapters or just completely falling apart, and I am not sure which way it's going to go. At least we can look forward to more Haru time!

Leave kind words!

Much love,

Emi