A/N: I just want to put a trigger warning here for the Lewis arc. I really feel like he needs to know. Without further ado- here it is.
Elliot POV
Finding the date of the news clip, I searched through the journal until I came to the corresponding entry. I couldn't believe this.
May 22, 2013
She has been taken by a psychopath. Olivia. I don't know how I'm going to tell him. He's not even here. Kathleen called me right after I saw the paper, and she says it's chaos. They don't even know if she's still alive. It's been 2 days at this point. I pray that she is ok. I told the kids not to mention it; I will tell him. When he gets back, I'll tell him. I feel so much anxiety- for her, for him. I know he'll lose it. Because I know the thing he refuses to admit to himself -let alone anyone else.
I flipped to the next page.
May 23, 2013
It's the third day. I've talked to all of the older kids and they're freaked. They still haven't found her, but have found nothing but destruction and death in their wake. It looks like he's drug her to Long Island. I'm praying they find her alive. I couldn't take having to tell Elliot that she's gone.
No. There's no way that something like this happened and she didn't tell me. I can't breathe.
May 25, 2013
They found her yesterday. Thank God. Elliot's going to be home in a couple of days. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to approach him with this.
"Hey, El, how was your trip? Oh and by the way, while you were gone, your ex-partner was kidnapped, tortured and possibly raped by a raging psychopathic murderer."
No. I can't do that. God- why does this have to be so hard? There's just too much complication. And he's finally -almost normal. I really don't want to destroy that. I don't know what to do.
Psychopath? Tortured? Raped? My God. She knew. She knew about this and kept it a secret? For all of those years? I had been on a private security gig, and she never told me. She's right, I would've lost it and been on the next flight back to New York. Tears burning my eyes, I turned the page and read the next entry.
May 31, 2013
The guilt I feel from keeping this from him is oozing from every pore on my body. I swore to myself that I would tell him after he settled in. It's been about a week, and I just can't do it. I can't. He is happy and, finally, content. I haven't seen this version of Elliot in a very long time. I've missed him. We're comfortable. I pray to God, that one day, they'll both forgive me. Although, if either one of them find out I omitted this information, I'll probably be in the ground before I ever gain their forgiveness. I'm just going to go by faith. That's all I can do. I love Elliot and I care for Olivia. She was there and saved my life. And Eli's. But I cannot risk my husband and the life we've built together for the respect and high esteem I hold for Olivia. I pray there are people there for her; that's she's not alone. God have mercy.
Sobbing, I chuck the journal to the side. The range of emotions I'm feeling is ranging from one extreme to the other. I feel like I'm swinging on a pendulum, and the next thing I know my feet are moving. I gotta get out of here. I can't breathe, I can't get enough air. I don't know where I'm going, but I end up outside on my patio. It's driving me mad. I gotta know everything. I run back into my room, retrieving the snippet off of my floor, and I skim through it for hopes of the perps name. And then, I text Fin.
E: Why didn't you tell me about William Lewis?
A few moments later my phone vibrates.
F: Liv finally told you?
Ha. I wish she had.
E: No- I found an article in Kathy's stuff. Now tell me how this happened.
F: Damn man, I figured you and Liv would've already hashed this out. Gonna have to ask her about that- not my story to tell.
A few seconds later..
F: Kathy knew? Man
E: Don't start.
I knew that Fin was gonna rag my ass the next time he saw me. Then, again, it was my fault for not inquiring more about her life while I was gone. She had called me out for it, too. The only thing I had inquired about was her body count. That was a douche move, knowing kinda what I know now.
She had avoided sharing personal things with me, and kept me at arms length. And I get it. Maybe she thinks that I know and didn't reach out. That thought made my soul crumble. She has to know that if I knew I would've been right there. I know I have to approach Liv calmly about this, and carefully. But, first, I need to understand how Kathy got the kids to keep me in the dark. According to her, they all knew. I decide to text Kathleen.
E: I need to talk to you. Can you drop by?
K: Sure Dad. What's up?
E: I need to know about May 2013.
It was a few minutes before she messaged back.
K: It's not- I'll be there in 10 min.
I put my phone away, working to calm the bile sneaking up my throat.
A/N: I hope y'all enjoyed this. I'm hoping the next chapter will be a little longer. Please read and review!
