A/N: Trigger warning for talks of Lewis. Here we go. Please read and review! Thank you!
Kathleen POV
"Grandma, I'll be back to get you around 7." She shrugged.
"Oh, alright Katie. Have a nice date." I rolled my eyes.
"It's not a date, it's just a meeting." Grandma B just walks away laughing. I'm halfway to my car and my phone pings.
Dad: I need to talk to you. Can you drop by?
He sounds serious.
K: Sure Dad. What's up?
His reply comes quick.
Dad: I need to know about May 2013.
May 2013? What about- oh my God. The memories come back in a rush of news segments and her mother freaking out. I thought she told him- she swore to me she'd tell him. Maybe she didn't want to hurt him- or lose him. I know deep down she was always afraid of the depth of Dad and Olivia's... connection. I can see Dad right now- angry, clenched fists, possibly a hole in the wall happening right this moment. I text him back.
K: It's not- I'll be there in 10 min.
With this particular turn of events, I know I'm not making my date. So, I quickly send a text, apologizing and a plan to reschedule on the way to my car.
Putting the keys in the ignition, I quickly prepare myself for whatever I'm about to walk into. If he wasn't told all those years ago, how did this subject come up? And even so, he's been back on the force for a few years now, I'm honestly surprised that he hadn't heard about this before now, especially with the way cops talk amongst themselves- hell the way everyone talked about this particular event. She remembers when Olivia was named a hero in both situations with Lewis. The woman had been through hell and back and survived.
I pull up outside Dad's, and take a breath. I step up to his door and unlock it; I have my own key, and the look on his face- bloodshot eyes, clenched fists... his demeanor- he looks broken. And my heart breaks for him.
Elliot POV
I look up when I hear keys in the lock, and the way Kathleen has taken in the entire scene of my mental breakdown. I suppose it's a good thing she hasn't seen my bedroom wall. Shutting my door, she approaches me slowly, taking a seat at the table across from me.
"Dad? What's going on?"
I don't know where to begin, so I begin with the most urgent question I have.
"Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't anyone tell me about Olivia? About her kidnapping?"
Kathleen looks down at her hands, and then reaches across the table and grasps one of mine.
"I thought Mom told you. She swore to all of us kids that she would tell you when the time was right. It happened while you were away on a private security job. There was no way to get in touch with you, and Mom asked us to keep it quiet, and let you settle in after your trip. I think we all just assumed she told you, and that that was the end of it. Looking back now, however, I can see that there was a fault in thinking that you wouldn't have been on the next plane back to New York."
I sighed, and went to retrieve the journal from the bedroom. I came back into the kitchen, and she had gotten us a drink. I opened it to the last entry I read and slid it over to her. After a moment, she spoke.
"Dad, I- I don't know what to say. I do know that Mom wouldn't have done it to hurt you or Olivia- it was hard on her seeing that... connection. And I'm not saying that either one of you did anything wrong- sometimes there's just that one someone who is just that person."
I didn't know what to say. There was nothing I could say -no denial of her observations. Because it was the truth. I put my head in my hands.
"I screwed everything up." This guilt was eating me alive. I couldn't save Kathy, and I didn't save Olivia. I made a choice, and I ended up hurting them both.
"Dad look at me please." I lift my head up, swiping at my eyes. It hurts my soul so much- everything I've done and not done; and looking into the eyes of my daughter- she is nothing but kind, loving and sensible. I can't hardly take looking into her eyes, but I force myself to.
"Dad- it's not your fault. What happened to Mom, what happened to Olivia- you had no control over either of them. You made choices, ones you thought were best. And who knows? Maybe they were the best at that time. But, now? You can choose to let go of the past. The guilt I see all over your face. And you can be there for the ones who love you, the ones that are still here." I scoff slightly, and I squeeze her hand.
"I am here for you kids- I love all of you, you know that." She rolls her eyes at me.
"Dad! Not just us. You don't get it, do you?" Now I'm genuinely confused, and it must show on my face.
"Olivia! Olivia loves you. Even after all of these years- you ghosting her, when she was basically your best friend in the entire world?! Come on, Dad! And then, she clawed her way out of hell- twice, and now I hear she's a Captain with a child-" I start to interrupt because of the "clawed her way out of hell twice" remark, but she puts her finger up-
"Let me finish! She has made it ok. She grew in your absence. And you and Mom got better. Then you come back- as subtle as dropping a brick on someone's head- into her life, her world, and she was there for you still. She put her hurt aside to help through yours. And- I guarantee that even right at this moment- if you were to call or even text her "911", she'd come to your aid. Why do you think that is? I'll tell you why! SHE. LOVES. YOU!!! Have you even talked to her about anything outside of work?"
Great. My own kid calling me out. And saying that Liv loves me? I think that's pushing it a bit. I know she will always back me up, and that she cares for me.
"Yeah I asked her about, um, if she was seeing anyone or if she had since I, um-"
She scoffs at me.
"Seriously? You asked her body count?! God, Dad, no, like anything at all about her life?" I stood and took a turn about the room.
"Kathleen I know that sounds-"
"Dumb? Inconsiderate? Like a douche? Seriously, Dad. You need to talk to her about this. About everything. Have you even told her why you left in the first place?"
"I apologized for leaving the way I did. And then I kinda gave her a letter that your mom dictated that said- never mind what it said. Then, I kinda maybe showed up to her apartment while I was undercover and had been dosed, and all of it has been a bit screwed up, ok?!"
"You actually let Mom dictate a letter to Olivia? I can only imagine what it said. Ok, Dad- listen. You need to talk to her. After all of that screwed up bullshit- she still talks to you. Still shows up for you when you need it. Reciprocate. Simple. Easy. If you can just pull your head out of your-"
"Hey! I'm still your father!" She laughs.
"Butt. You are. And I'm your loving daughter who is telling you the truth. And you taught me to always tell the truth no matter what. So just talk to her."
She was right. I couldn't fault her that.
"Ok. I hear you." She gives me the look. I nod.
"I do hear you." She gives me a smile.
"Good. Now that that's done, you owe me lunch for making me miss my date. Let's go! And you're buying, by the way."
"Ok, fine, since my mental episode made you miss your- wait... a date with who? Do I know him? What's his name?" She playfully smacks my arm.
"Dad! I'm not giving you his name so you can pass it along to Jet and have a full background done. Forget it!"
Speaking of Jet, I take out my phone and shoot her a text.
E: I need you to pull a file for me.
J: Who?
E: William Lewis.
It takes a few minutes, and by the time my phone pings, were halfway to the restaurant Kathleen picked.
J: You sure this is something you want?
E: Just send it
And she did. I didn't look; I couldn't look until I was away from the public eye, away from my observant kids, and hidden away in my room. Because, the way my spine was crawling I knew it was going to be bad. But I had to know what happened to her. I had to know.
