A/N: I'm baaaaaaccccckkkkkk!!! After a long break- too long- I'm back to the world of fanfic. Please enjoy!

Elliot POV

I pulled her into an embrace, feeling her body rise with her intake of breath. And there we sat, and time suspended. I could feel her frantic energy calm, and she settled into me. After a while, she pulled away, and made eye contact.

"I really have missed you, Elliot." She gave a soft smile.

I couldn't help smiling at that, and I caressed her cheek. "I missed you Liv. You have no idea how much I've missed you."

She broke the eye contact, and keeping her head down, she spoke.

"He had me tied to a bed. An iron-framed bed. And all I could see in my mind's eye was your face. I hoped that wherever you were that you were happy and safe. And the selfish part of me, wished that at any moment, you would burst through that door, and put a bullet in his head. Realistically, I knew- anyway. There was a maid that had shown up to clean the house, she rang the doorbell- and it saved me from... he went to answer the door, and I heard them talking. And to my horror, he had coaxed her five year old daughter to come to him and then he had them both, and locked them in a separate room. And I'm pulling against those cuffs, working on that bar. He comes back into the room, talking about what he's going to do to that little girl. And then I start taunting him. I told him he was afraid of me. He gets angry and starts undoing his pants. And I swear, it's like you were there- your strength was with me. I pulled that bar free, and I hit him twice, made it to my gun, and pistol whipped him. I handcuffed him to the footboard, and I got the family out. I told her not to call the police- and that I was police. I told her ICE would take her daughter away. They were gone, I was free- and I just waited. I should've called it in- but I didn't. I couldn't."

She put space between us, and kept her back to me. I stood, and approached her back, but stopped a couple of feet away to respect her space.

"He came to, there was banter- talk of you. And it came over me- I was this close to blowing him away. I stopped myself, when my hands found that bar. And the next thing I know- I beat him with it. When I stopped, I thought he was dead. I called it in. When they found me, brought me out of that house, I automatically scanned the crowd for you. I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't help it. That's the moment I truly accepted that you were gone."

She turned to face me so quickly, the fire returned. She closed the distance between us.

"Now you know, does it help? Does it help to have a rehashing of the past? What is it that you want, Elliot? What are you looking for here? Because this is who I am. I'm not the same as I was 13 years ago. And neither are you."

I know what I want. There's no hesitation, no question.

"In this moment, I want healing for us, I want to earn your trust back. Ultimately- when it's time- I want you. All of you, just the way you are."

She chuckled. Crossing her arms in front of her, she cocked her head to the side.

"In this moment, Elliot, you may mean those things. You may want us to build our friendship back like it was back in the day, that trust-"

I hold my hand up.

"Liv- what we had was never just friendship. You have to know-"

"Know what El? Know that I was always your second choice? You were married. You were always off limits. And that was fine. When you separated, I supported you both. When you signed the papers, when I was sure that- well, we both know what happened with that."

Ha. Really?

"Really? You ran to undercover work, you were gone. And things were just- just complicated."

She takes a seat at her barstool.

"Yeah if you can call Beck a complication."

I gave her a look.

"Nothing happened there. There was a kiss and nothing else."

She actually laughed.

"And that's not a red flag at all. It doesn't matter. Because soon after, you were a happily married man again, with a newborn. So it solved whatever it was. The lines were defined, and it was comfortable."

"It was not "comfortable" for me Liv. I loved my wife. I loved my family. I was-"

I paused. I sat in the other barstool, and I took her hands.

"And I was in love with my partner- my best friend. I've been in love with you for years. But I couldn't do that to my family. I owed my kids, I owed Kathy."

It all came rushing out, and it was silent, and I wasn't even sure that she'd heard it, until I looked up at her face. It was akin to a deer in headlights. Eyes wide, a slight quiver to her inhaling, she just sat. Seconds passed to minutes with pure silence. And I was becoming extremely nervous. I didn't move, didn't break eye contact.

Until we both jumped out of our skins with the sound of a phone ringing.

She jumped up to answer it.

"Benson."

And she maintained eye contact the entire call.

A/N: I think there's going to be a couple more chapters. I hope you guys can bear with me, it's been a hot minute since I've written anything. Please read and review!