Seventeen

"Sir, my crew was just," Jim cried out after swallowing hard, fighting back the cold realization that was slowly dawning on everyone, "was just following my orders. I take… I take full responsibility for my actions, but they were mine, and they were mine alone. If I transmit Khan's location to you now, all that I ask is that you spare them."

Emily closed her eyes as she realized just how serious this was. Marcus had a ship that was fully capable of destroying them. He wouldn't hesitate to get his way. Seeing the cold look in his eyes only confirmed what she had thought of him previously. Something about him had never rubbed her off the right way, and that feeling had never changed.

What was worse, Jim could have prevented this all from happening. She could see the guilt in his eyes when he realized that mistake. He should have listened, he should have followed Spock's advice as well as everyone else's. The thought left her mind spinning with unease as she thought of everything they could have done to prevent this from happening. Hundreds of innocent lives were at stake. Worst still, Marcus wouldn't just stop with their ship. He wanted war, and something told her that if he got his way, thousands more would pay the price.

"Please, sir. I'll do anything you want. Just let them live."

Jim wasn't one to beg. Seeing Marcus' look of surprise confirmed that. He was silent for a moment, contemplating their fate. A knot formed in Emily's stomach as she saw the look in the Admiral's eyes. She couldn't shake off the feeling that Marcus was just giving Jim a sense of false hope. Only someone cruel and cynical would think to do such a thing. And it left her fists clenching with outrage. If there was anyone who deserved getting his ass handed to him, it was Marcus. Despite Jim's best efforts at trying to prevent another tragedy, Marcus finally regained his composure, and his face returned to that steely-eyed look from before.

"That's a hell of an apology," he finally spoke again, but his next words sent shivers of dread through Emily, "But if it's any conciliation, I was never gonna spare your crew. Fire at will."

A shiver of dread swept through Emily when she realized what that meant. She had always known that death was inevitable for everyone. There were several times when she had been close to facing her own death on multiple occasions. None of those moments had been proud or bold. She had simply accepted the fact that no one would be around to save her. Now, she wasn't so sure if she was ready to accept it. She met people who had become more than family to her.

Jim finally turned to face everyone; his expression grim as he understood the fate that Marcus had set upon them.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, eyes flicking to Emily as she gave him a sympathetic look.

If I die, at least it will be with my family, she told herself. True, they probably no longer saw her that way after the way she had lied to them. But that didn't stop her from believing that these people were her friends and family. They'd been through thick and thin for the last couple of years, and nothing was going to change that. She would gladly die for them.

She could already feel Leonard's thoughts reaching her own when realization hit him like a truck. He and the rest of the team in medbay had been alert as to what was happening on the bridge. Since the rest of the ship was currently a mess and fellow crew members were being sent to get treated for new injuries, he was busier than usual with all the chaos. But that didn't stop him from registering the fact that they were a sitting target for Admiral Marcus and his weapons.

'I love you, Leonard,' she said through their mental link just in case Marcus really pulled through with his threat.

There was hesitation before his answer, causing her stomach to twist in a knot.

'Love you too, Emily,' he finally replied through what sounded like clenched teeth.

Sulu watched the scans of the enemy ship with horror as the ship began powering up. Emily chewed the bottom of her lip, bracing herself for the blast that would follow. But nothing happened. She tilted her head to one side as Sulu read the scans, blinking in disbelief.

"Their weapons are powered down, sir," he reported.

That in itself was a miracle. And yet, as Spock so eloquently pointed out every time, there was no such thing as a miracle.

"Enterprise, can you hear me?" Sure enough, Scotty's voice sounded through the com, and Emily breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Scotty?" Jim asked in disbelief, looking around as if expecting the Scotsman to drop from the ceiling.

"Guess what I found behind Jupiter?" Scotty chuckled.

"You're on that ship," Emily guessed, amazed that Scotty was brave enough to board an enemy ship in the first place.

"I snuck on it, seems that I just committed an act of treason against a Starfleet Admiral," Scotty explained. "I'd really like to get off this bloody ship! Now beam me out!"

"You're miracle worker!" Jim breathed out, "We're… we're a little low on power right now! Just standby! Standby!"

"What do you mean low on power?" Scotty asked, his voice full of suspicion, "What happened to the Enterprise? I'll call you back," he added after pausing for a moment.

"Spock, our ship, how is she?" Jim turned to the Vulcan.

"Our options are limited, Captain," Spock reported, "We cannot fire and we cannot flee."

"There is one option," Jim retorted, and it didn't take Emily long to figure out what he was thinking. Her mind was running through the possible scenarios, desperately wishing there was another way out of this without risking everything. "Uhura, when you get Scotty back, patch him through," he added to Uhura.

"Yes, Captain," she nodded before doing just that.

He's going to make a deal with Khan, she realized after thinking it through. Khan was the only one who had knowledge of that ship. As such, getting to the ship and finding Marcus meant making a deal with the bastard himself. Emily knew in the back of her mind that striking a deal with a madman was pure suicide. Khan would eventually betray him and make things worse. Letting him free was the worst possible decision Jim could make. But she also knew that he wasn't going to let that small problem get the better of him.

"Do you have any idea how badly this plan of yours will end?" she asked, rolling her eyes when she caught the look he gave her.

"Look, we don't have any other choice," Jim reminded her. "He's going to kill all of us unless I do something. Or unless you're willing to use your powers and stop that ship from launching further attacks on us?"

"Liaison Coulson is correct," Spock remarked as he joined them, having already guessed himself what Jim was planning. Emily narrowed her eyes the moment Jim mentioned using her abilities. She knew what she was capable of and using her powers to stop Marcus seemed like a mad chase over nothing. The last thing she wanted was to lose control, especially in a tense situation like this. One wrong move was all it would take to lose both ships in the process. "You will meet resistance requiring personnel with advanced combat abilities and innate knowledge of that ship. This indicates that you plan to align with Khan, the very man we were sent here to destroy."

"I'm not aligning with him, I'm using him. The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Emily almost smirked at that, having heard the metaphor far too many times. "Em, you're acting Captain while I'm gone."

"You've gotta be kidding me?" Emily rolled her eyes, though the look in his eyes told her he was doing anything but.

He had been training her to take over the role as Captain more times than she cared count. While she hated the idea of performing as Acting Captain, she knew better than to argue. This mission was dangerous and suicidal at best, and she realized Jim wanted someone with a level head in charge while he was gone. She was more than surprised that he trusted her enough to take on such a role. Even after everything she did, from hiding the truth of Khan to everything else, Jim still trusted her enough to lead the crew.

Because he knows I'm willing to sacrifice myself for them, she realized.

"Captain," Spock had taken a step forward, looking equally as surprised with Jim's sudden change in plans, "It is not advisable for you to switch First Officers without—"

"What would you have done if the roles were reversed and I was in that volcano instead of you?" Jim snapped, cutting him off.

Now she understood where he was getting at. She knew that if the roles had been reversed, if Spock was acting Captain while Jim was detonating the bomb, he wouldn't have broken the rules. He would have left Jim there to die without hesitation. Well, maybe that wasn't entirely true. She would not have allowed Jim to die, under any circumstances, and would have argued with Spock until he got it through his thick skull that no one was left behind. Not under her watch.

"I know you're not afraid to break the rules," Jim added after giving Emily a nod of encouragement. "Hell, you were breaking them at the Academy. Not to mention the fact that you're also not afraid to protect the people you care about."

She only rolled eyes at that before giving in. If anyone knew about breaking the rules, the two of them knew it the best. As much as she hated to admit it, Jim was right. He'd given away her position when he found out she was working for SHIELD. It had always been one of his biggest regrets, because she lost what little trust she had in him as her Captain. The only consolation she had now was that Jim was willing to put some faith in her leadership skills.

"Okay," she sighed, knowing that he was right. As much as she hated to admit it, leaving Spock in charge could put everyone's lives in danger. She was willing to do whatever it took to keep the crew safe, regardless of whether or not it broke the rules. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to be happy about your idiotic choices."

"I wouldn't expect you to," Jim replied with a sheepish smirk, "and I expect you to help her, not contradict her every move, Commander," Jim added to Spock, who nodded in agreement.

"Of course," he replied, suddenly seeming to understand why he was assigning Emily as acting Captain in his place.

For all the bickering that went on between Kirk and Emily, the pair had surprised Spock on numerous occasions. They worked well together, almost in a brotherly sister sort of bond. Though the two of them had struggled to get along after the Battle of Vulcan, they had changed their ways. Spock hadn't missed how close the two were, but he also hadn't missed how much she cared about the entire crew.

Liaison Coulson wasn't afraid to speak her mind if it was needed. That was something that couldn't be ignored. When they first met, Spock had experienced first-hand what she was like in the testing center. He suspected she would make a fine Liaison when she was given a chance, and not once had she proven him wrong.

"Emily, go check on the engines," Jim added once it had sunk in that she'd take Spock's place as acting Captain.

She nodded and took off in that direction, feeling resigned with her new position.

"I would like to request that I go with you, Captain."

"No. I need you on the bridge with Emily," Jim argued with a shake of his head. She'd taken well to the role of acting Captain on many occasions before, but not under this kind of pressure; that was exactly why he had been preparing her for the role as Captain. If anyone was more qualified for the position, it was Emily. Despite the fact that she had shattered what little trust he had in her after everything Khan told them, he was still putting what little faith he had in her devotion towards the crew. "She's gonna need someone who can give her advice and make sure that she isn't taken advantage of."

"I cannot allow you to do this. It is my function aboard this ship to advise you on making the wisest decisions possible, something I firmly believe you are incapable of doing in this moment," Spock retorted, sounding both exasperated and concerned that Jim was jumping to reckless decisions once again.

"You're right! What I'm about to do, it doesn't make any sense, it's not logical, it is a gut feeling!" Jim snapped, suddenly angry with both himself and Spock. He was angrier with himself for having to put faith in someone who'd gone behind his back more times than he cared to count. He was angry with the fact that he had to jump to her defense at a time like this. More importantly, he was angry that he couldn't bring himself to trust her. "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I only know what I can do. The Enterprise and her crew need someone in that chair who knows what they're doing."

"And that someone is Emily?" Spock tilted his head to one side, still looking skeptical.

True, she had proven herself on more than one occasion, but there was still something about her that put him on edge. Still, he knew Jim was right. She had mastered the art of controlling her abilities, and the fact that she had to maintain her emotions constantly meant she understood him better than most people on the ship.

"You're damn right," he nodded confidently, "Spock, I've never met anyone who's more willing to give their life for the protection of their family. And that family is us." He wasn't willing to admit that there was another reason behind placing Emily as acting Captain. By keeping her here, if anything happened to him, she and the rest of the crew could possibly use the escape pods and flee the area before Marcus fired back. "Just promise me you'll keep them all safe."

Spock swallowed at that, knowing that what Jim had said about Liaison Coulson was true.

"I will."

Jim nodded and clasped him over the shoulder, relieved to have the two on his side, "Thank you."

.

.

Jim stormed into the medbay once he was finished talking with Spock, needing to reach Khan before Marcus was able to get his ship back up and running. They only had a short window of opportunity before the crew on the enemy ship figured out the source of their problem.

"Tell me everything you know about that ship," he ordered after reaching Khan, not bothering to give the man a chance to speak.

"Dreadnought Class," Khan listed, looking mildly impressed with the way Jim was asserting his authority, "two times the size, three times the speed. Advanced weaponry, modified for minimal crew. Unlike most Federation vessels, it's built solely for combat."

"I will do everything I can to make you answer for what you did," Jim swore, "But right now I need your help."

"In exchange for what?" Khan smirked, amused that Jim would flat-out admit that he needed help in the first place.

Jim's jaw clenched as he caught the look, feeling that twist in his stomach like he had after begging Marcus to spare his crew. He hated having to beg for anything. But the crew didn't deserve whatever fate Marcus had in mind for them. They hadn't asked to be dragged into this mess, and it was entirely his fault for putting them in harm's way. If anyone could change the outcome of their future, he was more than determined to do just that.

"You said you'd do anything for your crew. I can guarantee their safety."

"Captain," he laughed mockingly, "you can't even guarantee the safety of your own crew."

Jim looked away at that, covering the fact that those words had stung more than he'd let on. He finally looked over to where McCoy was sitting at a table with a small ball of brown fur in front of him, a syringe in his hands. He knew McCoy had been looking to figure out what made Khan tick. The doctor's anxiety was clearly spiraling… Jim's stomach twisted with guilt as he recalled how ready Emily had been to die along with the rest of the crew. He realized with a start that McCoy would have also been in the front line of fire. All of them would have been dead because of his stupid need for revenge.

"Bones, what are you doing with that tribble?" he asked.

"The tribble's dead," McCoy replied without missing a beat, "I'm injecting Khan platelets into the deceased tissue of necrotic host. Khan's cells regenerate like nothing I've ever seen and I wanna know why."

Jim nodded at that before looking back at Khan, "You coming with me, or not?"

.

.

Things in Engineering weren't looking good. Emily had found Chekov working on the system mainframe while gas and steam seemed to leak in all areas. Needless to say, Engineering had become even more chaotic since her last visit. He'd reassured her that he was working on fixing the problem, but so far, nothing had come up. Running diagnostics on whatever happened was only half of the problem. They still needed to figure out what had caused the source of the problem before fixing it. And there was only so much they could do in such a short window of opportunity.

"Captain," Spock greeted her once she had reached the bridge. She returned the greeting with a nod, still finding the new title unreal as she looked across to the viewing screen. She frowned after seeing the enemy ship still floating in front of them, looking ominous as ever. "With your permission, I would like to establish contact with New Vulcan."

Emily rose an eyebrow as she guessed what Spock was planning to do with said contact. After meeting his counterpart on Delta Vega, she had a feeling that Spock would ask for advice on what to do about Khan. Though, Emily doubted Spock Prime would give out too much information on what happened in his timeline, especially since it meant interfering with their timeline.

"Granted," she nodded in agreement.

Even if they weren't able to acquire the information that Spock was interested in, it would be good to see the face of an old friend.

"Lieutenant," Spock looked to Uhura, "from our current position, is it possible to establish contact with the New Vulcan?"

"I'll do my best," Uhura nodded.

"Thank you."

Emily sucked in a deep breath as she took a seat in the Captain's chair. The whole situation made her feel uneasy, especially since she didn't have nearly enough experience for the position. Yes, Jim had given her the position during some of their missions, but this was something entirely different. The crew was in danger, and she wasn't going to let them pay for any mistakes she made.

She swallowed hard as she thought of everything Jim accused her of. He was right about one thing: All she ever seemed to do was make one mistake after the other. A shiver of unease crawled through her at the thought. She knew that there was only so much she could do to fix said mistakes. What horrified her the most was that nothing could take back the lives she had taken.

The moment she left medbay earlier was when she heard a storm of confusion within Leonard's thoughts. Though he tried keeping the guilt and the doubt buried through a mask, she could easily read said emotions. And that left her feeling guiltier than ever. He didn't deserve someone like her in his life. He deserved someone who didn't have so much red on their ledger. Someone who hadn't gone out of their way to ignore him when he needed them the most.

Guilt stabbed her in the chest the more she thought about it. She tried pushing the uneasy thoughts aside, knowing full-well that she needed to focus on the task looming ahead.

"Mr. Sulu," she began while looking at the enemy ship again, "What's the status on the other ship?"

"Their systems are still off-line. I'm aligning our ship now," Sulu replied with a shake of his head.

"Good," she swallowed nervously. She knew it couldn't have been easy to navigate the ship around all that debris, and she would have to give Sulu some major credit for getting around with such precision. She hadn't missed the way Spock was watching her every move, as if expecting the worst. "Jim?" she called through the com to the trash exhaust where Jim and Khan were getting set up in their suits, "Are you in position?"

"Affirmative," Jim replied, "Scotty, how are we doing over there?"

"Captain, I wish I had better news," Scotty's voice sounded through the com, "They blocked our access to the ship's computer. They'll have full weapons in three minutes. That means next time I won't be able to stop them destroying the Enterprise, standby."

"Liaison – I mean," Sulu began uneasily, "Captain Coulson—"

"It's fine, Sulu," she reassured him after rubbing her temple, hating the fact that everyone had to sound so formal and stiff around the Captain, "Just call me Emily."

"Emily," he corrected, looking slightly relieved with that suggestion, "our trash chute is aimed at access port 101A on the other ship."

"Jim, did you hear that?" Emily called through the com.

"Copy that," Jim answered, "Scotty?"

"I'm in the hangar, give me a minute," Scotty replied in a rushed voice, sounding as if he'd been running a marathon, "I'm running, standby. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I do not know, Captain. This door is very wee… I'm mean, you know, small. It's four square meters' tops. It's gonna be like, jumping out of a moving car, off a bridge into a shot glass."

"I've done it before," Jim replied, and Emily had no doubt he had, "Yeah, I was vertical. We jumped onto a… uh…" Jim paused, and Emily could only guess what sort of look Khan was giving him at the moment, "it doesn't matter. Scotty…"

"Did you find the manual override?" Khan spoke up this time, and Emily resisted the urge to roll her eyes at that.

"The manual override, Scotty?" Jim repeated a second later, trying to maintain control of the situation, and make himself look less like a fool in front of Khan.

"Not yet," Scotty replied through the com, "Not yet."

"Captain," Spock put in, "before you launch, you should be aware, there is a considerable debris field between our ships."

"Spock, not now," Jim muttered in exasperation.

"Scotty, are we good yet?" Emily asked.

She rolled her eyes at Spock's pointing out the obvious. They were running out of time. Between having to move the Enterprise into position and everyone preparing for the space-jump, Emily knew that it wouldn't be long before Marcus had the ship back up and running. They were nothing more than sitting targets for the massive ship that loomed ahead of them ominously. Emily swallowed hard at the thought of what would happen once their ship regained power.

"It's not easy!" Scotty snapped, "Just give me two seconds, alright? You mad bastards!"

"Em," she nearly leaped out of her skin at that sound of Leonard's voice, hardly noticing his arrival until he crouched down beside her. "Tell me this is gonna work."

"This is Jim we're talking about, Leonard," she reminded him with a pointed look, "He's done the impossible, before."

Leonard threw her an apprehensive look as he took hold of her hand and squeezed it gently. She knew he was worried about Jim. Hell, he was worried about the whole damn crew making it out of this, alive. Knowing what lay ahead of them only added to that worry. She swallowed hard when she caught the underlying thoughts hidden in that squeeze. He never wanted to admit how resentful he was towards her, and she suddenly found herself understanding why.

The worst part of it was, she never once felt so resentful when he went out of his way to ignore her after she was released from the ICU. She'd all-but-forgiven him for betraying her the way he had all those years ago. She forced herself to focus on the task looming ahead. Dwelling on such fear wasn't going to protect the crew. At that moment, she needed to focus on making sure they were safe, and that Jim and the others got out of this mess alive.

"Yeah, and that's what worries me," he muttered under his breath.

"I have neither the information or the confidence to do so, Doctor," Spock spoke up after reaching them.

The half-Vulcan was clearly aware of how annoyed she still was with him. Emily nearly rolled her eyes as Leonard muttered something under his breath about Spock being a pointy-eared hog goblin.

"Shut up, Spock," she muttered around the same time Leonard had grumbled about how comforting his remark was.

"Okay, Captain. Standby," Scotty said through the com, "Come on. Come on. Come on. Yes! Okay, okay. I've sent it to open the door."

"Spock, pull the trigger," Jim ordered seconds later.

"Yes, Captain," Spock reached his station, putting in the commands, "Launching activation sequence in three… two… one…"

The viewing screen had shifted as the two were launched into space once again, with two small dots representing them on the large monitor. Emily swallowed nervously as the small blips on the screen represented the field of debris surrounding them. One mistake could cost them their lives. Though, she had no doubt Khan would make it out of this alive.

"Kirk is headed for collision at point three-two," Sulu reported.

"Jim, there's debris directly ahead," Emily called through the com, hoping Jim would catch that in time.

"Copy that," Jim replied at the moment the blinking dots had reached the field of debris.

Emily's hands were clutching the chair for dear life as she watched. She knew Jim well enough that he could take care of himself, but going off course was dangerous, especially given the short window of opportunity they had.

"Whoa, Jim! You're way off course!" Leonard reported.

"I know, I know! I can see that!" Jim snapped back.

"Use your display compass, Jim," Emily informed him, "You must correct precisely thirty-seven point two-four- three degrees."

"Got it. I'm working my way back," Jim reassured her, "Scotty, are you going to be ready with that door? Right?"

Silence answered his question. Emily frowned at that, having already guessed that Scotty ran into one of the crew members on the enemy's ship.

"Mr. Scott, where are you?" she called, but still got nothing.

"Dammit," Jim swore just as a piece of debris had rushed past the blinking dot representing him.

"Captain, what is it?" Spock asked.

"My helmet was hit. Uhura, tell me you have Mr. Scott back?" Jim replied, ignoring the obvious danger that he was in once again.

"Not yet. I'm still working on the signal. His communicator is working, I don't know why he's not responding," Uhura reported.

"Imminent collision detected."

"Khan use evasive action, there is debris directly ahead," Emily ordered, knowing that no matter how much she hated the man for what he had done, he should at least follow through on the space-jump.

"I see it," came the passive response.

Emily let out a rush of breath after realizing that Khan's signal had gone dark. Wherever the bastard went, it was impossible to pick up the signal due to the field of debris. Keeping an eye on Khan was critical during this mission. After seeing what he was capable of back on Kronos, she had no doubt he would survive being hurtled into the vast emptiness of space.

"Mr. Sulu, did we lose Khan?" Spock asked, almost sounding hopeful.

"I don't know, Commander. I'm having trouble tracking him in all this debris," Sulu replied.

"Was Khan hit?" Jim asked.

"We're trying to find him now," Emily informed him.

"Captain, you need to adjust your target destination to one-eight-three by four-seven-three degrees," Sulu instructed.

"My display is dead, I'm flying blind," Jim announced, and Emily only rolled her eyes at that. Of course he would be.

"Captain, without your display compass, hitting your target destination is mathematically impossible," Spock pointed out.

"Spock, if I get back, we really need to talk about your bedside manner."

"Emily, he's not going to make it," Sulu frowned after reading the scanner carefully.

"He will," Emily snapped, willing herself to believe that whenever there was a will, there was a way. And Jim Kirk always seemed to find a way out of any messy situation. She leaned back against the chair, silently praying that if anyone was watching over them, they'd make it out of this alive, "Do we know where Khan is? His display is still fully functioning, right?"

"Affirmative," Khan replied for her over the com, "My display is still functioning. I see you Kirk, you're two hundred meters ahead at my one o'clock. Cut to your left, a few degrees and follow me."

"Scotty, we're getting close. Do you copy?" Jim shouted without warning, "Do you copy, Scotty?!"

"If you can hear us, Mr. Scott, open the door in ten… nine…"

Spock took the liberty of standing on the other side of the Captain's chair. For once, Emily wasn't offended – if anything, she was grateful for the support he seemed to provide by just being there. She was terrified of everything going horribly wrong while she was in charge. She hated the idea of being put in control over a situation where lives were at stake. And Spock seemed to sense that as he moved closer, aware of the tension running through her.

"Scotty!" Jim cried through the com, this time sounding worried as he realized Scotty still hadn't heard them.

"…eight… seven…"

"Scotty, open the door!" Emily cried this time, feeling her heart race with dread.

"Mr. Scott, where are you?" Jim shouted.

"…six…"

"Eighteen hundred meters," one of the crew members was counting down, not helping with the increasing anxiety everyone else was feeling. "Sixteen hundred meters."

"Scotty, where are you?" Jim repeated.

"…three…"

"Do you copy, Scotty? Please!"

"…two…"

"Scotty, open the damn door!" Emily pleaded, knowing they only had one shot to do this right.

"Open the door!" Jim yelled.

"Mr. Scott, now!" Even Spock was shouting as the emotional turmoil hit them all, the fear of losing Jim, and everything else weighing down on their shoulders.

Suddenly, there was a mechanical sound, as if a door had been opened, followed by a suctioning sound of wind and shouts. For a moment, Emily was afraid the door had opened too late.

"Welcome aboard."