Jax wanted to laugh, or cry, or both. She looked at Steve, at the incredulous expression on his face. She glanced down at her boots, at the cargo pants she'd been so excited to fit back in to that morning, and her cheeks heated with embarrassment. Of course, her mother was right. She was married to someone important, and so handsome. He deserved someone so much more put together. Someone whose family wouldn't make everything uncomfortable.
"I'm so sorry," she said, "you shouldn't have to deal with this."
"Ku'uipo, you have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry for not shutting that down sooner."
"Yeah, well, she kind of slides in under the radar," Jax said. "You don't see it coming."
"You know," Danny said, "I've sometimes wondered if maybe it wasn't as bad as I remembered. Apparently, it was. Look, why don't the two of you head out. We've got things under control here at the office."
"Jax?" Steve asked. "Is that what you'd like to do?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Give Kono and Chin my apologies, but I don't think I'd be able to enjoy our visit now. We'll do it again, next time Mary wants a day with the kids."
"They'll understand," Danny assured her. He held out his hand to Jax, and pulled her up into a hug. "It'll be okay, kid."
"Thanks, Danno," Jax said. "I'm sorry you had to put up with that, too."
"What, are you kidding? I'm the back-up. Here to back you up, both of you, whatever you need."
#*#*#*#*#
Steve was angry. Jax could tell by the set of his jaw, by the way his knuckles whitened around the steering wheel.
"I'm so sorry," she said. He'd said she didn't have anything to apologize for – but then, he was still angry.
They stopped at a red light, and he looked over at her. "I'm not – okay; tell me what you're sorry for."
"For my parents barging in like that, and being rude to you," she said. "And for looking so . . . inappropriate when coming into the office."
"Wait, hold up. You don't need to apologize for your parents. They're responsible for their actions, that's not on you," he said firmly. "And that – that's why I'm angry, Jax. I'm angry because that woman made you feel less than. Made you feel as if you were falling short somehow, when nothing – nothing – could be further from the truth. You look beautiful. You are beautiful, just as you are. And as to what you're wearing – first of all, who cares, and who the hell is she to comment? And you're wearing the same kind of clothes that Kono was wearing today. Your mother doesn't know what she's talking about; she's just trying to make you feel bad about yourself, and that's why I'm angry. Not at you."
"But if there's an expectation of officer's wives –"
"That's bullshit. Sure, when we go to a formal Navy function, there's a dress code, and you always look absolutely perfect."
"Thanks to Kono and Mary," Jax said wryly. "Hey, where are you headed?"
"Well, we left our lunch back at the office, and I'm starving. Thought we'd swing by Kamekona's before we head home. We can take something back for Mary."
Mary was surprised to see them both coming up the sidewalk. She slipped out onto the front porch, her finger to her lips.
"Just put them down for a nap," she said quietly. "Is everything okay? I didn't expect to see Jax so soon, and really didn't expect to see you, Steve."
"My parents showed up. At the office," Jax said.
"Oh, wow," Mary murmured. "Guess that was a shock."
"Yeah. Not sure how to handle it."
"Well, let me just grab my bag and head out, so you guys can talk things over. Annie and Billy should sleep for a while, we had a fun morning."
"Thanks so much, Mare," Steve said, dropping a kiss to the top of her head.
"Any time; you know I love spending time with my niece and nephew! Besides, Jax needs to do something besides work and babies. And the two of you need some alone time – and I can't believe I just said that," Mary laughed. "Anyway, I mean it. Any time." She reached back inside the doorway and grabbed her tote, then with a quick hug for each of them, headed for her car.
Steve put his arm around Jax's shoulders and gently steered her inside, closing the door behind them with a quiet snick.
"Coffee?" he asked, smiling down at her.
"Always."
Jax headed for the coffee maker, but Steve stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Let me; I've got it."
She grabbed two mugs from the lowest cabinet and put them next to the coffee maker, then sat down on one of the kitchen stools with a sigh. She watched Steve prep the coffee maker, his movements as efficient as ever; the play of muscle in his back and shoulders as he reached for the coffee filters caught her eye just as it had when they first met.
"I guess I should have told them," she said. "Back when we first met. Now, it seems almost too late. Like too much time has passed."
Steve leaned against the counter while the coffee maker sputtered and hissed.
"It doesn't have to be too late; not if you don't want it to be," he said. He paused, weighing his next words carefully. "I know what it's like to leave things unsaid, unresolved, until it really is too late."
"So you think I should talk to them?"
"I'm absolutely not going to tell you what to do. After the way your mother spoke to you, about you today – I'd completely support you if you wanted to just walk away. But if you do want to try to come to some sort of relationship with them, I will completely support you, and I'll help make it clear that it's not going to be with her acting like she did today."
"She was pretty nice today," Jax said. "Trying to make a good impression on you, I think."
Steve shook his head. "I can't imagine . . . if that was her being kind . . ." he trailed off.
"Yeah." The coffee pot released a final, loud hiss, and Steve poured two mugs full. He handed one to Jax as he slid onto the stool next to her.
"I think . . . I think I owe it to the kids to try to have some sort of positive interaction with my parents. Right?" Jax asked.
"I think it would be ideal if that could work out, yes," Steve said. "As long as it's clear that she's not going to inflict the same trauma on the kids as she did on you."
"It wasn't that bad," Jax said quickly.
Steve reached over and tucked his fingers under her chin, gently turning her head to look at him. "Jax, after meeting your mom today, a lot of things about you suddenly made perfect sense. I've always wondered why you can't accept your amazing qualities; I think now I know. And no one is going to be allowed to do that to our kids, okay?"
"So, you're saying we could communicate with my folks, be pleasant . . . but on our terms?"
"I think that's the only way it should happen," Steve said, "but I think it can be done. If that's something you want."
"Can I think about it?"
"For as long as you need to."
They heard a faint thumping sound from the babies' room. Steve grinned.
"That nap didn't last long," he said. "I hear one of them kicking around."
"Which means the other will be awake, if they aren't already," Jax replied. "They might go back to sleep."
"Or we could go ahead and get them up now, put them to bed early tonight?"
Jax pretended to consider that, laughing at the twinkle in Steve's eyes. "I could see advantages to that," she said.
They opened the door to the babies' room quietly, and stood in the doorway, watching. Annie was happily kicking her feet against the mattress, her little body bouncing gently with the movement. Billy had grasped one of his feet with both hands, and was studying his toes intently.
"God, they are so amazing," Steve whispered, wrapping his arms around Jax and kissing her cheek. "I can't believe they're ours."
"I can't believe how big they're getting. They'll be walking in a few months, at most," Jax said. "It still seems like a dream, somedays. All of this; like it's too good to be true."
"Well, believe it. You've worked so hard to build this life, Jax. You deserve every bit of happiness that you have." His big hands wrapped around her hips, turning her gently in his arms. He bent and kissed her, one hand sliding to the small of her back and the other coming up to cradle her head. She melted against him, her arms wrapping around his neck, sighing in contentment, the little sound that drove Steve crazy from the very beginning.
He was just starting to suggest they close the door and see if Annie and Billy would fall back to sleep after all, when there was a remarkably loud squelching sound from the crib.
"Hold that thought?" Jax said, a bit breathless.
Steve smiled smugly. "Oh, it will be held, I promise. Dibs on Annie."
"No fair," she protested. "You know Billy's poops are the most toxic."
"They don't call it Naval Intelligence for nothing."
#*#*#*#*#
"This is my favorite part of the day, I think," Jax said. They were sitting on the second floor lanai, each with a baby and a bottle. She felt Billy's weight in her arms, his pudgy hand bopping gently at the bottle; watched Steve holding Annie, impossibly small in his strong arms. "I want to remember this forever."
"We will," Steve promised. "We'll remember this and all the other memories we're going to make together."
Jax fell silent for a long moment. "I think . . . I think I want my parents to get to see their grandchildren," she said quietly. "They'll never get to see their son get married, have children. That was taken from them, from us. I can't make that choice, to keep them from seeing our kids, you know?"
Steve deftly moved Annie to his shoulder, one big hand patting her back gently. He reached over and wrapped his other hand around Jax's knee, squeezing it gently.
"Then that's what we'll do," he said. "We'll set up getting together, see how it goes. One step at a time. With you in control."
Annie let out a little burp and snuggled contentedly against Steve's chest. Jax moved Billy to her shoulder, and was rewarded with a solid belch, and then a sigh.
"Are they both asleep?" Jax whispered. They each peered at the baby opposite them, confirming that their eyes were closed, long lashes resting on chubby cheeks.
"Yeah?" Steve grinned.
They slipped quietly and carefully into the house, and deposited Annie and Billie in their cribs. Jax smiled as she watched Steve tuck a thin blanket securely around each child, his tongue poking out in concentration to get it just right. Satisfied with his work, he kissed each twin on the cheek, and turned, catching Jax watching him.
"What?" he whispered.
She shook her head. "Just another thing I'm making sure to memorize."
As they carefully closed the door behind them, he took her hand and led her to the stairs.
"This is another one of my favorite parts of the day," he murmured, turning her around when she was a step ahead of him and kissing her slowly and sweetly.
"Mmm, there was a thought we were holding from earlier," she said, looping her arms around his neck.
He smirked and wrapped his hands around her hips, lifting her easily to wrap her legs around his waist. Surefooted and without hesitation, he carried her up the stairs, depositing her gently on her feet in the bedroom.
"You should be more careful of your back," she said quietly, fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt.
He took her chin gently between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her head up to look at him. "Don't," he whispered. "I know where this is coming from and where it's going. You are strong and healthy, and do you know how amazing that is? How happy that makes me, knowing everything you've been through? Don't you dare doubt yourself." He slid his hand back to tangle his fingers in her curls, bending to kiss her again. "Besides, I can still pick you up with one arm," he murmured, lips brushing her cheek. He pulled her close, flush against his body. "Which, if you haven't noticed, is still a turn-on."
"I've noticed," she said, a bit breathless.
"Let me make sure you absolutely," he paused, dropping gentle kisses up her neck to punctuate his words, "positively, understand."
#*#*#*#*#
