It had been a few days since I watched Negan kill my friend.
I hated how well adjusted I was to the situation, how calm I had become.
I hated how a part of me understood why he does what he does.
I fell back into my routine with Simon and actually managed to avoid Negan.
He wasn't really around, which had me a bit bugged.
That wasn't like him.
I was sure he would pop in with that damn flirtatious smile.
But he didn't.
I asked Simon about it, but he just told me that he was busy dealing with another group, he wouldn't go into any more detail and I didn't push.
I woke up early in the morning, still set in my routine.
I'd get up, shower and change, check my bag and make sure it's prepped for a run and then have breakfast.
Usually I took breakfast in my room, but today I decided to eat in the cafeteria area.
I was getting lonely, It was a cold loneliness that was beginning to weigh heavily on me.
I even started to miss Negan a little.
I know that was wrong, but we had been so close before.
He was so different before.
That thought was starting to plague my thoughts.
I was sitting by myself, thumbing through a book when Dwight came over.
I smiled up at him.
Dwight had been so nice to me, helped me so much and made sure my friends were okay.
I owed him for that.
But his face was serious.
He leaned in close, lowering his voice
"Do you want to see your friends?" he asked with out hesitation.
I gave him a confused looked, tilting my head.
"What do you mean?" I questioned, looking around for a moment to make sure no one was being nosy.
"I saw your friends yesterday. They want to meet up" he said calmly.
I stared at him for a few minutes, not really able to comprehend what he said.
"Elaina and Marcus?" I questioned
"And the boy" He added
My eyes widened a little, "Joseph too?" I asked with a little excitement
Dwight nodded again.
I closed the book I was reading and slid it into my bag.
"When can we go?" I asked, starting to stand up.
"Well, we should probably go before Negan comes around. You don't want him questioning us" Dwight started off towards the door.
I slid my bag over my shoulder and followed Dwight out the back.
We rode in silence for a bit, which was odd for Dwight.
He usually liked to make some form of small talk, but now it was just silence.
"So you ran into them? Or you have been keeping tabs on them?" I asked.
He just hummed in response.
I shifted in my seat of the truck.
"Okay, what's going on?" I asked.
He shook his head, "Something is going on. It's got me bugged"
I looked at him for a moment, a bad feeling welling up in my gut.
"Yeah.. I feel it too" I agreed, sitting back in the seat.
But he didn't offer anything else and I didn't push.
We were headed down the highway.
I was familiar with this area, it was a big access to The Sanctuary that Negan had worked to block up.
We came up to the line of cars that blocked the road and parked.
Dwight got out quickly and ran around to open my door for me, he leaned in close.
"We need to make this quick" his voice was low and meant to be threatening, but it came across scared.
I got out of the car and Dwight placed his hand on the small of my back.
The touch was sort of shocking, which only made my nerves worse.
But the moment was broken by the sound of my name being called.
"Elizabeth!" Joseph called as he came running around one of the vehicles.
"Joseph!" I returned as I ran to meet him in the middle.
He threw his long, slender arms around me, clinging to me.
"Elizabeth I missed you so much! Are you going to come home with us?" he asked, holding tighter to me.
I held on just as tightly, though my heart sank.
I was glad to see him, but he shouldn't be here.
"Joseph.." I trailed off when I saw Marcus and Elaina walking over.
My eyes immediately fell to how tight Elaina's shirt was around her stomach.
Was she pregnant?
I tried to step forward, but Joseph stayed clinging to me.
I rubbed his back slowly and let them walk over.
"Oh my God, Elizabeth.." Marcus started, looking me up and down.
He placed a strong hand on my shoulder but Elaina ran around, hugging me tightly from the side.
I couldn't help but laugh a little.
Marcus smiled brightly and placed his arm over my shoulder, pulling us all tighter in together.
The moment was warm and welcoming, such a difference from the cold loneliness I had felt the last couple of days.
We all stayed clinging to each other for a few more seconds before Marcus stepped back.
"Elizabeth.. we have so much to talk about" his voice was so calm itt made my heart hurt.
I had almost forgotten how much I loved Marcus.
Elaina took a step back as well, "Yeah, we should start with this" she laughed a little, placing her hands on her stomach.
Joseph stepped back, but took my hand and held it tightly.
I squeezed his hand in response, giving him a soft smile before looking back to Elaina.
"You're pregnant?" I asked with a growing smile.
She quickly nodded, her smile growing to match mine.
"We have known for a while, Elizabeth. We should have told you before.." Marcus started, his tone sad.
It was odd that his excitement didn't match hers.
"It's okay, I know now. That's all that matters. Is Rose taking care of things?" I asked.
"Yes, she's been great about all of this! You're gonna come home with us right?" Joseph asked again.
I pulled my hand away from his to ruffle his hair.
"She can't do that" Dwight interrupted us and I shot him a look.
"Why not?" he asked again.
I looked down at him, trying my best to put on a brave face for him.
"You see, I did a bad thing and it hurt some people. I'm trying to make that right" I was lying and it was obvious, even to Joseph, but he needed something to hold on to.
He backed away from me.
When I arrived to the group, Joseph and I instantly bonded.
He was young, terrified and I helped him the best I could.
He was like my little brother.
"Please don't be angry with me. I'm doing what I can to protect you, Dwight has helped me a great deal with that." I smiled to him for a moment.
"I know, we know you can't just go.. It's just hard" Elaina stepped over and hugged me again.
"We can meet like this from now on. We just have to be smart about how we do it" Dwight added as he looked around.
Marcus had backed up and was looking around nervously as well.
"Dwight, why don't you take Elaina and Joseph back to our truck. I have some treats I carry in my bag. I'm sure they would like that" I kept my gaze on Marcus as I spoke.
Elaina stepped over and took Josephs hand and led him to follow Dwight.
"Marcus, are you going to tell me what's wrong?" I asked a bit roughly as I pushed him back across the line of cars, making sure we were out of ear shot.
He shook his head.
I crossed my arms, nudging him.
"I just, I don't know. I'm scared. Something isn't right.." He admitted, looking down.
I felt that familiar fear rise up and settle in the pit of my stomach once again.
Marcus was strong and extremely smart, he knew how to handle all of this.
Hearing him admit he was scared had me terrified.
"Scared of what? Did something happen?" I relaxed my arms.
He finally looked up to me, "No nothing happened. It's just.. I can handle the Walkers. I can handle learning how to survive. But Elizabeth, bringing a baby into this? That's not something I really know how to handle. It feels wrong.." he looked at me almost desperately.
I shook my head, "It isn't wrong. It's life, quite literally. It comes with the survival" I was trying to reassure him, but I grew even more nervous.
"I know. Rose is great, but the group isn't set up to handle something like this. We don't have a Doctor or anything." his tone was starting to relax and become more calculated.
I thought about the Doctor back at the Sanctuary.
I had only seen him a few times, but he seemed very nice.
It would be too dangerous to bring them to the Sanctuary, but maybe I could get Carson to them.
"Maybe we can work something out.." I didn't want to get into too much detail or get his hopes up.
"I hope so. Elizabeth, are you actually okay? Are you safe?" his tone turned to more worry as he placed his hands on my shoulders.
"I am safe and I am okay. I promise you. I'm glad I got to see all of you, that helps a lot" I gave him a smile, walking in closer to hug him.
"I really missed you Elizabeth.. the group isn't the same with out you." his tone was softer now as his arms moved around me.
The hug was intimate but innocent and I welcomed it.
"Elizabeth, you need to watch your back.. something is going on" Marcus started, but we were both interrupted.
"Elizabeth!" Dwight called out my name, making me jump out of the hug.
I turned back to him.
"We gotta go" he motioned towards the truck.
Elaina and Joseph came back around, both pulling me into a hug.
"I will see you soon. I promise. Dwight will keep us in contact, you can trust him" I said reassuringly.
"Be good" Elaina said, giving me one last hug before walking over to Marcus.
"Promise I'll see you soon?" Joseph asked as he squeezed me in another hug.
"I promise" I held tightly for a second before pulling away.
I watched them walk to the other side of the cars before turning back to Dwight.
We drove in silence once again.
I was happy to see them, but still bugged.
I knew Marcus was worried for Elaina and the baby, but whatever else had him scared had me scared as well.
Something that Negan knew, something that Simon knew, hell even Marcus knew, but they weren't letting me in on it.
Dwight pulled up to the Sanctuary and left the car parked just at the gate.
We got out and he walked around beside me once again.
"So, did you have a good time?" He asked, nudging me.
"Yeah, I really appreciate this. I don't understand why you're so eager to help me though.. you seemed so close to Negan" I stopped and looked up at him.
"Yeah, I was close to Negan. Just like you are. We both understand why he does what he does and we respect it but.." he sighed
"We still have to survive on our own as well"
He had a good point.
Negan could protect us, we could have a good life here, but it meant nothing if we weren't pressing for more of a life.
"Besides, I like seeing you so happy. That smiles looks good on you" he laughed.
I rolled my eyes at him and playfully nudged him as I giggled.
But our happy moment was interrupted by that familiar whistling.
We both jumped, looking up to see Negan at the top of the stairs.
His bat swung over his shoulder.
"Well, well, well what have I got here? Two of my top people sneaking out together? Now this just ain't right.." his tone was sarcastic and that alone was terrifying.
"We were just out on a run. Simon cut Elizabeth off for the day so I thought we would make a little run on our own" Dwight lied.
But Negan just laughed, walking down the steps in front of us.
He let out a small groan, rubbing at his beard.
"Oh yeah? Little run? Well, what did ya bring me?" he asked, looking at the truck.
I watched Negan carefully as he inched closer to Dwight.
"Well, we didn't find anything. Nothing worth wasting your time over" he spoke quickly, enough to give us away.
Negan stepped closer, pulling his bat off his shoulder and placing it against Dwight's as he leaned in close.
"See, that's how I know you're lying. You took my girl out, my top scavenger, but you didn't bring anything back?" he laughed louder, watching Dwight's reaction.
"We didn't find anything, simple as that. Sometimes the run is just empty" I spoke up.
Negan didn't even look at me, he was fixed on Dwight.
"You two went out on this special run, alone. You want me to believe it was just a run and not something else? What my other girls not good enough for you? You gotta compromise my girl?" he questioned, his tone picking up more anger.
My girl
He kept repeating that, it was oddly calming.
Negan kept the tense moment with Dwight for a little longer before relaxing.
He let out a laugh, dropping his bat down to his side.
"If you needed a fuck buddy all you had to do was ask Dwighty boy! Go about your business and we can discuss this later" his tone was sharp.
Dwight didn't even look back to me, he just took off past Negan and made his way inside.
Finally Negan turned to face me.
"You're coming with me" he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the door.
He didn't say a word as we made our way to my room, that was odd.
But once the door was closed, he didn't hesitate.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" He yelled, swinging his bat around to rest against his shoulder once again.
I shook my head, crossing my arms
"I don't understand why you're so mad.." I started, but he cut me off.
"You have a set schedule with Simon for a reason. You have rules for a reason! You don't get to go off doing what ever the hell you want Elizabeth!" He paused to take a breath, he placed his bat by the door and turned to face me again.
"You wanna fuck Dwight, fine. But you aren't going to do it on my time!" he dropped his hands and they immediately balled into fists.
I dropped my arms, stepping over closer.
"You think I'm fucking Dwight? That's your problem?" my tone was now matching his.
"You don't go out on a run alone with a guy, coming back all Chatty Cathy and smiling like you won the lottery over one simple run! Elizabeth I'm not stupid!" he stepped closer, his tone growing louder.
I shook my head, not sure of what to say to him.
A few minutes ago I felt comfort in the intimacy of him saying "My Girl"
Now I just felt sick to my stomach.
It wasn't because he cared for my safety, he just didn't want me fucking someone else.
"I don't really know what to tell you Negan.." I couldn't look up at him.
This man was so different from the man I knew before.
I understood why he did what he did, I didn't like it, but I understood.
Still, I held on to some bit of hope that he would be good, but he was selfish.
"You don't have to say anything, Elizabeth. You want to whore yourself out to who ever offers, fine!" he snapped.
It made me jump, his words stinging.
The tense moment fell quiet and heavy as I looked up at him.
His harsh tone didn't match the pained look on his face.
"What happened to you?" I asked quietly.
He stepped in closer, shaking his head as if he didn't understand.
"The man I knew.." I started, but he laughed, cutting me off.
"The man you think you knew, he's dead and gone. He died with this world. Every last bit of him buried and I was reborn. I was given a second chance. A chance to survive doing whatever it takes. I don't care about what you thought you knew.." his voice trailed off just slightly at the end, but his tone held that sharp sting.
I shook my head, my anger rising up once again.
"God you're a fucking asshole!" I snapped.
But I was met with his hand across my face, it wasn't rough, just enough to grab my attention and sting slightly.
I took a step back, bringing my hand to my face to rub it gently.
The look on his face, the look of immediate regret, almost made me dizzy.
I felt tears stinging in my eyes.
He shook his head, trying to recompose himself.
"You're not going on any more solo runs. If your regular men are busy, you're allowed only to go with Simon or with me. Hell, you are not going to leave this room with out my permission. You will learn to follow my rules Elizabeth or you will die here. Simple as that" he spoke quickly and calmly, turning away from me.
"No, no Negan please. Don't do this to me" I started as I stumbled after him, my tears coming faster now.
"You can't just lock me up like a prisoner. Look, I'm sorry.." he cut me off by turning to face me.
He looked down at me, his eyes soft and filled with a hint of worry even.
He lifted his hand, gently touching where he had slapped me, his thumb wiping away my tears.
"I hope you will soon understand why I'm doing this.." he leaned in closer as he spoke.
"Negan please, I.." but I was cut off by his lips pressed against mine.
The kiss was soft and quick, but intimate enough to leave me hazed.
He didn't give me a chance to say anything, barely had a chance to catch my breath before he was gone.
R & R is always appreciated! I have been planning out these next chapters for so long and things are about to get really interesting and I am so excited! Hope you're all still enjoying it!
