"Elizabeth, please. Please hold on." I could hear Negan pleading, but I couldn't open my eyes.
"Bring her in here and lay her down. She's bleeding out" I could hear Carson.
"We can take care of her" The man I saw at the gates said reassuringly.
I was drifting in the cold darkness.
I wanted so badly to open my eyes.
But the harder I tried, the more distant their voices became.
Until everything went silent.

I felt strong, like I could open my eyes. Like I could sit up.
So I did.
But it wasn't what I expected.
When I opened my eyes, the sun was shining brightly.
I could hear the gentle hum of cicadas in the distance, the cool breeze hitting my face.
I looked around.
I was sitting in the middle of a field.
One that wasn't too far from where my group was staying.
I would come out here with Marcus and Elaina sometimes, just so we could clear our heads.
It was a nice open area, so gentle and calming.
It always felt like it didn't belong in a world like this.
I carefully stood up, brushing out the settled wrinkles of my white summer dress.
Nothing about this felt good, I tried clinging to some sense of reality.
But I couldn't deny the urge to settle here.
If this was my death, it wouldn't be half bad.
I walked forward, my fingertips tracing lightly over the tops of the tall wildflowers.
It was comforting.
No Walkers, no fight, just peace.
But still, even settling into the idea, something felt off.
Something was missing.
As if on cue, I heard my name being called.
"Elizabeth!" I turned to see Joseph running towards me.
"Elizabeth, look!" He was holding a basket full of fresh red apples.
I smiled down at him, ruffling his hair.
"That's great. They look delicious" I said happily.
He set the basket down and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly.
"I missed you while you were gone. Marcus and Elaina are too busy with the baby to play cards with me and Rose doesn't like it" he slightly whined.
I couldn't help but giggle.
"I'll play cards with you any day" I teased.
But his face grew sad and tears started to form in his eyes.
I gently cupped his chin in my hand, making him look up at me.
"Hey, hey" I gently whispered
"Please don't leave me" he cried.
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a tighter hug.
"I'm not going anywhere. I promise you" I gently kissed the top of his head.
"Elizabeth?" I heard Marcus say my name.
I turned around to face him.
When I did, Joseph disappeared.
I looked around for a moment, not exactly sure what was going on.
"Elizabeth, you can't leave us. You can't let go" Marcus started as he walked forward closer to me.
I shook my head, "What? I'm not.." but he cut me off by taking my hands.
"You know I love you. I always have." his face was sad as he reached up to brush my hair out of my face.
I hated this look on him.
"It was always easy with you. The first day I met you out on that road, when you saved me. We just worked together. I've cared about you, I've loved you since that day. You never stopped pushing me. When I met Elaina, you showed me how okay it was to fall in love. I feel okay with having a child because I know we have you to help us, to help bring us hope. You can't leave us behind now" he was blinking away tears as he spoke.
I shook my head, feeling tears sting my eyes as well.
"Elaina needs you. Our child needs you in this world" He looked over his shoulder and I saw Elaina standing off in the distance. Her hands rubbing over her extended stomach.
I wanted to run to her, I wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be fine.
I looked around and saw Simon and Dwight standing off to the side.
They were clean cut, well kept.
It seemed odd for them to look this way.
I shook my head and looked back to Marcus.
"I don't understand.." I started feeling myself getting more upset.
Marcus placed his hand on my face, his thumb gently rubbing cheek.
"Elizabeth, you're dying" his words were so calm, so gentle that it made me feel sick.
I backed up away from him until I felt someone grab my shoulder.
I turned around and it was Negan.
He looked down at me with a smile.
"Hello, love" his voice was soft.
I turned around to look at Marcus, but he was gone. They were all gone.
"Negan I.." I started as I turned back to face him, but I was met with his lips against mine.
He gently kissed me as he pulled me closer to him.
He pulled away to rest his forehead against mine.
"I don't understand what's happening.." I said quietly.
"He was right, Elizabeth. You're dying" his voice was too calm for what he was saying.
I started to get more upset.
He carefully cupped my face in his hands, "I know it's scary. But you're strong. You have two choices in front of you" he started as he carefully spun me around to look back over the field.
The sun was beginning to set.
He carefully wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back against his chest.
"You can stay here, with me. It will be as simple as that sun setting." He carefully ran his fingers through my hair and gently kissed the top of my head.
"Or you can run. Run as fast as you can across this field and fight. It will be hard, but you have me either way. You can choose peace, no one will judge you for it. Or you can fight and choose to survive. For yourself, for your friends, for me. It's your choice" he kissed my head again and let go of me.
Everything fell silent.
I thought about how easy it would be to turn around and kiss him, to just go quietly.
But every part of me was screaming to run.
I couldn't leave Joseph behind.
I couldn't leave Marcus and Elaina, or their baby.
Hell, I couldn't leave Negan behind. Not again.
I took a deep breath, mustering up all the strength I had.
And I ran.

I was gently pulled from the darkness.
Just barely dozing in and out as I gained strength.
I became more aware of my body.
I didn't feel so heavy anymore.
But all my muscles ached, a low throbbing pain.
But I was thankful to be feeling something.
I carefully blinked my eyes open.
The room I was in looked comforting.
Everything was so welcoming.
The walls painted a pale blue, the furniture clean and white.
I blinked away the remaining blur in my vision and saw I was laying in a bed with big fluffy white sheets.
I had a few IVs in my arm and a table with some supplies was off to my left side.
Simon was sitting beside me, laying his head against the side of the bed.
I wanted to sit up and I tried, but it just ached.
My movement woke him and he sat up quickly, reaching for his knife.
I looked at him confused and realized.
He thought I was dead, he thought I was a Walker
"Simon.." my voice came out weak, but he immediately relaxed.
"Hey there, Kiddo" he laughed, placing his hand on my arm.
I smiled at him, "What's.." I started, but he shook his head.
"Let me go get Carson so he can check you out. Just try to relax and don't move, okay?" he asked as he stood up.
I nodded slowly.
I wanted to close my eyes again, but I was scared.
I didn't want to go back to fading in and out.
Instead, I looked around the room, taking in every detail I could as I waited.

"Ah Elizabeth, how are you feeling?" I heard Carson say as he made his way into the room.
I looked up at him with a proud smile, "Tired" I laughed a little.
He pulled back the fluffy white blanket and began checking my wound before taking my other vitals.
"Well, that's to be expected. You lost a lot of blood.." he trailed off.
He looked over to Simon.
"He's not here. Didn't want to make Rick too uncomfortable by hangin' around" Simon said.
I looked between them both, knowing they were talking about Negan.
"Well, you might want to go get him. I don't want her awake for too long." Carson went back to checking me out.
Simon left the room quickly.
"Where am I?" I asked, looking up at Carson.
He just smiled down at me and shook his head.
"Negan can explain better once he gets here. I don't want you to move a muscle, got it? You lay here and relax." he pulled the blanket back up and settled me in before leaving me alone in the room.

I tried to make sense of everything that had happened.
I tried to remember at least something about where I was.
But I could only remember the large walls and the gate I saw and the man who greeted us at the gate.
I started to feel my eyes get heavy as I tried to go over everything.
So I just closed my eyes.
I was lost in my thoughts when I felt someone touch my arm.
"I'm sorry I'm so late.." It was Negan.
His rough hands were gently rubbing my arm.
I kept my eyes closed, trying to muster up that energy again.
I felt him brush my hair back off my forehead as he spoke, "Please, Elizabeth." his voice was broken, something I hadn't seen in a long time.
I started to focus on that and the memories drifted through my mind.

"I shouldn't have kissed you, Elizabeth. I shouldn't have done any of it. It was all a mistake. You coming here with Lucinda, that was a mistake. They never got along. I wasted so much time on this!" his words were hurtful, but his tone just seemed to be so broken.
I stood in my room, in front of the painting I had been working on for weeks, just starting at it.
I couldn't look at him.
"You want us to go?" I questioned quietly.
"Yeah, we do. She's sick, Elizabeth and she's dying. I just want her" he continued to pace around my room.
I had a nice day thinking that maybe things would be different.
Negan had admitted his feelings for me, only to find out hours later, that Lucille was sick.
He reacted like most people would, in a panic.
He was now making me leave, along with her sister, Lucinda.
"I'll pack my things and be out of here tonight, I can't speak for Lucinda though" I was trying to stay calm. I wanted to be selfish and scream and beg, but I couldn't bring myself to it.
"I already asked her to go" he stopped pacing, I could feel his eyes on me.
I wondered if maybe he was waiting for me to argue him on it.
"I'm sorry to have been a bother in this difficult time. If you need anything.." I started to turn towards him.
"I just need you gone" his reply was cold and he left my room.
I spent those next few hours packing up just what I needed. I couldn't carry around too much, especially since I had no where to go.
My parents were gone, I didn't have any other family.
This was my home.
I left all of my painting supplies.
I took my painting and left it by the door to my room and left.
I never looked back. Not until it happened.
As soon as they began the evacuations, I went to the house.
Lucinda came with me as well.
But they were gone.
The house was bare apart from the simple furniture and my painting, still left by my door.
We tried the local hospital, but they wouldn't tell us anything.
So we ran.
The first week after the outbreak was the hardest.
We tried to adjust to what all was happening, but it was going so quickly.
The scavengers came and began starting trouble.
That's when I lost Lucinda.
I don't know if she was killed, taken or just lost.
But I knew I was alone.

I was on my own for well over a month, just hiding out and barely getting by.
I wanted things to calm down before I tried anything permanent.
This time was when I picked up my scavenging skills.
I had to be stealthy, smart and quick to avoid other bandits.
But soon they all just disappeared and the world went quiet, apart from the dead.
That's how I met Marcus.
"Damn it!" I heard the man call out.
I could hear the groans of a good amount of Walkers coming from the road.
I was hidden in the tree line, watching.
He tried to scavenge a parked truck on the road and became overwhelmed by Walkers.
I let out a sigh and ran ahead and out of the trees, to one of the other cars.
It was a newer looking car, one that didn't look too worse for the time and had a car alarm.
I picked up a rock and chugged it at the passenger window and the alarm began screeching, pulling the Walkers away from the truck and towards the noise.
I flanked around them and walked up to the truck.
"Come on, we gotta go" I offered the man my hand.
He carefully slid off the truck, his leg covered in blood.
I backed quickly away from him.
"Are you.." I started as I held up my knife.
"No. No I'm not bitten. I cut it on the run" He spoke quickly, limping towards me.
I stepped forward and slid myself under his arm, helping hold him up as we made our way away from the road, deep into the woods.
After a while the alarm began to fade until it was gone, so we stopped.
I helped him sit.
"Let me take a look.." I slid his pants leg up to look at his wound.
It was deep and dirty, but nothing major.
"I'm Marcus. Thanks for saving me.." he started and sighed "Why did you? You could have gotten killed. I would assume most others would leave me for dead"
I smiled up at him, "We can't lose who we are, who we were. Holding onto that is a big part of our survival in this world. And I'm Elizabeth, by the way"
He smiled brighter down at me.
"Well Elizabeth, I think we're going to get along nicely"

"Elizabeth please. I have lost so much already, I can't lose you. Not again.." his voice brought me back out of my thoughts.
He was squeezing my hand tightly.
I opened my eyes slowly.
The room was now dark, lit only by a few candles.
"I came back for you.." I spoke quietly.
Negan sat up and leaned in closer to me.
"We came back for both of you that day, the first day. But you were gone.." I turned to face him.
"I know. I brought Lucille into the city for treatment. We were stuck when it happened.." his voice trailed off.
"Is that how she died?" I asked, turning my hand over in his to lace our fingers together.
"She was gone before it hit the news." he sighed, bringing my hand up to his face.
I carefully pulled my hand from his and instead brushed my fingertips along his cheek.
"I'm glad to see you awake, it was rough for a while. I thought.." his voice broke.
"I'm not going anywhere." I laughed a bit.
He sat up and kissed my forehead softly.
I could tell he wanted to say more, but he couldn't.
"Carson wants to keep you resting and sedated for awhile, to heal.." he seemed so unsure of this.
But I welcomed it.
I was tired of fading in and out and being stuck in between.
"I'm so tired..." I whispered as I closed my eyes.
He leaned in close again, to whisper in my ear.
"Just please, hold on" his voice was desperate.
I hadn't even noticed Carson come in the room, not until I felt the pinch in my arm and the warmth that came after it.
I blinked the heaviness away as much as I could.
Enough to watch Negan leave my room.
Everything went dark again, but this time it wasn't cold and lonely.
It was peaceful.

R & R is always appreciated! I was so emotional writing this ha, but I am so excited for this story line.