AN: This chapter was a little hard to write and I revised it several times, mostly because Derek is a hard voice for me to get. I hope he's okay. The title of this chapter comes from the song 'Here I Am' by Monica. It's such a good song. Anyway, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy! Please review. :) LT.


entangled

..

part three

i'm just not happy in this home

..

Derek would never admit it but sometimes he avoided going home. It felt like all he and Addison did sometimes was fight and it was exhausting. So instead of going home he'd stay at the hospital, holing up in his office or an on call room for the night which never helped things at all. It only ever delayed the inevitable arguments and then the cycle would start all over again and Derek had no clue how to break it.

It certainly didn't help that for the past week all they'd done was fight. Derek wasn't sure he even knew what they were fighting about anymore or if shouting had become their only mode of communication. Either way, the cold shoulder Addison had given him that afternoon on the surgical floor was enough incentive for him to forgo going home for the time being. His shift was over though and he reluctantly made his way through the hospital, heading for the entrance.

Until he spotted Mark leaning against the reception desk, clearly trying to chat up the woman behind the desk. He chuckled a little at the sight, it was classic Mark Sloan. He realised then that he hadn't seen his old friend very much lately. Striding towards him, he decided going home wasn't as important as getting a drink with Mark; at least it'd delay him for another hour or so. "Mark!" he called out jovially, smiling at his old friend. "Quit harassing the poor girl," he joked, as he came to a stop beside the plastic surgeon.

Mark turned at the sound of Derek's voice and his surprise was quickly hidden with amusement. "We were just chatting," Mark asserted, throwing a cocky wink to the receptionist before turning more towards Derek. "You on your way out?" he asked, sounding surprised.

Derek shook his head at his old friend. "I am. Do you want to get a drink?" Derek asked hopefully, knowing that his friend wouldn't turn down a bar at this time of the evening. By the looks of it, Mark had already been on his way out to head to a bar anyway. Derek figured he'd just accompany him along; a drink or two before going home wasn't going to hurt.

"Sure," Mark agreed, grinning widely and Derek was sure that had been his plan for the night anyway. "We waiting for Addie, or-?"

"Oh. Uh, no. Not tonight," Derek told him a little sheepishly, shrugging as the two made their way out of the hospital.

He was grateful when Mark didn't say anything more about Addison, though he was surprised he brought her up to begin with. He supposed there had been a time when they never left the hospital without each other and if they did, it was very rare. But that time had long since passed, unfortunately.

They made their way down the street towards a popular bar on the corner. It was one generally frequented by hospital staff and Derek was sure Mark'd find some pretty nurse to take home. For once Derek didn't mind drinking while he watched his friend turn on the charm; it amazed him honestly that women still fell for it. He knew it sounded a little sexist, and he'd never say it out loud, but he couldn't imagine any woman with sense going to bed with Mark or being taken in by his particular brand of charm.

He loved his best friend but they were two very different men.

They ordered their scotches and sat down at a table then. It really had been a long time since he and Mark had gotten to spend any time together. It felt good to just relax after work instead of having some rip-roaring fight with Addison about some random thing or another. Oh, he knew they had their problems and he knew he wasn't as present as he should be, as he could be. But he just didn't know how to put the effort back into their marriage anymore and it made him feel even guiltier when he noticed how hard Addison did try.

Derek was pulled from his thoughts when he heard the buzz of his cellphone against the sticky wooden table and sighed as Addison's name flashed on the screen. He contemplated answering it but knew it'd no doubt just lead to an argument and he was having far too good of a time to bother with it now. He silenced it and pocketed it, giving Mark a tight grin as he noticed his friends questioning gaze.

"Just Addie," Derek said by way of an explanation, taking a sip of his second scotch and not expecting Mark to say much else. Mark and Addison hadn't initially hit it off in the beginning but slowly they'd become good friends and Derek was glad he'd never had to choose between the two. He'd have hated to lose either one of them.

"You sure you shouldn't take that?" Mark asked, voice light and casual as he spoke. He may have been a friend to both of them but he tried not to get in between them when they weren't on good terms. Unfortunately, it had been a long time since they'd been on good terms as far as Mark could see.

"What? No, it's fine. She's fine," Derek told Mark, tapping his fingers absently along the glass tumbler.

"If you say so, man," Mark shrugged casually, taking a swig of his drink. He really didn't want to get into it with Derek over Addison. He had to remind himself that even though he was their friend, it wasn't his business. As much as Mark thought it was idiotic for the man to be ignoring his wife, he didn't really feel like it was his place to say anything, especially when it was clear Derek didn't want to talk about it.

Derek frowned at Mark's words though, bringing his drink to his lips and eyeing his best friend curiously. It was clear Mark wanted to say something but was holding back. "You clearly have something to say Mark," Derek said after a moment, trying not to sound as abrasive as he felt. He couldn't imagine Mark had any useful insight on marriage, especially not his.

Mark shook his head, taking a gulp of his own drink as he looked over at Derek. He didn't want to get involved, he didn't want to get between them. But he also knew how much Derek's absence was hurting Addison. It wasn't his place but Mark had to wonder if anyone else would tell Derek that what he was doing was starting to ruin his marriage. He wondered if there was anyone else close enough to truly see just how bad things were getting.

"Look, man, I know it's not really my business. But is everything okay? You just...seem to be blowing Addie off a lot lately and...she misses you man," Mark told him, shrugging as he talked.

Derek's eyebrow rose at the words. "Is that what she told you then?" Derek scoffed, a tinge of disdain evident in his voice. Suddenly he was wondering just how much Addison talked to Mark and when that had happened. He didn't know if he liked his wife sharing such personal things like that with Mark, of all people.

Mark immediately shook his head. "Nah, man. She didn't say that. But I've known her just as long as you and I can tell she misses you. They don't make them like Addison anymore, man. If you're not careful, you might lose her," Mark told him, trying to sound as casual and non-threatening as he could.

"Lose her?" Derek echoed, frowning deeply now. "What are you talking about Mark? Do you know something that I don't?" he asked worriedly.

"No, no. I just mean Addie isn't the type of woman you just ignore. You couldn't ignore her after the first time you met her. So why are you ignoring her now?" Mark asked bluntly, giving his best friend a pointed look.

Derek huffed into his drink, frowning as he tried to digest Mark's words. He didn't reply, he simply drank because he realised, he didn't have a good answer for Mark. He was blowing Addison off. He was ignoring her and avoiding her. He was taking her for granted and Derek wasn't sure when or how that had started. But he didn't want to think about that, not tonight at least.

"You want another drink?" He asked after downing his scotch and standing from his seat. Mark simply nodded, sighing as he watched his friend; he knew the conversation was over now. He just hoped that Derek actually took his words to heart.

..

A knock on the front door of the brownstone startled Addison as she sat curled up on the couch, wine glass in hand. It was close to midnight and she was still in the dress she'd worn to Savvy and Weiss's anniversary dinner. A dinner she'd been embarrassingly stood up at.

Slowly she stood up, leaving the wine glass on the coffee table and made her way to the front door. She frowned, a little hesitant, wondering who'd be knocking at such a late hour; until she heard familiar voice on the other side. She was still standing by the stairs when the door swung open to reveal her husband and her husband's best friend. For a moment she studied them both, thinking they were both drunk before realising that wasn't the case.

"Uh, a little help Red?" Mark called to her as he tried to manoeuvre Derek inside. Addison moved forward but instead of helping Mark with Derek, she simply held the door open wider. She was mad, fuming really with her husband and despite how petty it was, she didn't really want to help him right now. Not when he'd left her sitting like a fool in front of their friends; the pity obvious in their eyes.

Mark had only intended to deposit his friend inside but seeing that Addison wasn't moving to help her husband in any way, Mark decided differently. Though dishevelled, it was clear that Addison was all dressed up for a night out and that Derek had bailed on her. Mark had the sinking feeling that Derek hadn't even remembered he was supposed to be on some kind of date with Addie. If he had he was sure the man would've asked him to go in his place.

He heard Addison slam the door shut behind them as he directed Derek towards the stairs. "I think she's mad," Derek said in a terrible stage whisper, certainly loud enough for Addison to hear him. Mark didn't need to look at the redhead to know she was sending some kind of glare her husband's way. Mark cringed.

"Come on, man. Let's get you up to your bed," he encouraged, shaking his head.

Twenty minutes later, Mark has left Derek on his side in his bedroom and made his way downstairs. He flounders awkwardly for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, not sure what to do. Addison had clearly been upset but Derek was right upstairs. His mind was made up when he saw the slight shake of Addison's shoulders over the back of the couch.

"Red?" Mark whispered to her as he came closer, moving around the couch so he could see her properly.

"He didn't remember did he?" Addison asked, finally looking up at her friend, the tear tracks clear on her face. She hated how often she cried over Derek; it wasn't supposed to be like this. When Mark grimaced and sat down beside her gently, Addison shook her head, hands wiping quickly at her cheeks. "We were supposed to go to a couple's dinner with Savvy and Weiss. It's their anniversary. I told Derek about it weeks ago. I set him a reminder! And he still didn't remember. He stood me up with two of our closest friends to go get drunk and, God, Mark. I've never been more embarrassed in my life," Addison told him sadly.

"Oh, Addie," Mark sighed, frowning at the heartache he could see so clearly in her eyes. He hated the way she seemed so defeated by it all. Before he could think it through, he reached out and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms firmly around her body and pulling her onto his lap. He was surprised when he felt Addison snuggle into him, her arms wrapping around his body and her head pressing against his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered to her, a hand twisting in her hair gently.

Addison pulled back a little, to look up at him. "It's not your fault Mark. You don't make his decisions for him," she replied softly, teeth sinking into her bottom lip for a moment, eyes fluttering as she looked up at him. Instinctively she leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of Mark's mouth before quickly pulling back and burrowing against his neck. "Thank you. You're a good friend," she murmured against his neck, closing her eyes.

Mark nodded, surprised by the kiss and tried not to read too much into it. Instead he just held her tighter, pressing a sweet kiss to her forehead, glad she'd stopped crying over Derek. At least for the night.