The mind vs the Heart
Remus was sitting opposite the courtroom when the doors suddenly burst open. He quickly stood up and grabbed Jane's arm, who almost passed by him looking very distraught.
"I take it that it didn't go well?" He said when she jumped at being grabbed.
"Well I-" she started shakily.
Seeing that she was on the edge of breaking down, Remus quickly pulled her along the busy ministry halls and to the atrium where he promptly apparated away with her. They both needed to be away from crowds right now. The day was hectic enough. Remus had a few hours while Jane was knocked out to process the events of last night and this morning. Jane, however, had not had that opportunity. Was he done grieving? Absolutely not. He could feel his inner wolf wanting to rampage for the disruption and betrayal that had come to his pack. But his inner wolf also recognized that there were still those who needed the comfort of a levelheaded leader.
He had apparated her directly to his home, knowing that that was probably the safest, most out of the way place. He lived in a small one bedroom home on the edge of a forest far from the population. It was run down and old. The roof leaked when it rained and his furniture all second hand.
Remus sat Jane down on the couch and quickly sent an Owl to Mary McDonald to keep Jane's daughter, Jazlyn, and the Potter's daughter, Avalon, for the night. He went over to the kitchen and made a cup of tea as Jane tried to collect her thoughts.
"It didn't go well, I take it?" Remus asked as he put his kettle on the stove.
"Not really," She looked up and hesitated. Remus stayed silent, sure she would continue without prompting.
"Crouch was very against it. but Madam Bones, she said if I had evidence they would reopen his case."
"That's good isn't?" He said.
"I guess," she sighed. "But I don't really have anything. I was just so focused on getting him a trial that I didn't really go looking for evidence first."
Remus was quiet for a moment. He thought carefully on his next words. As he hummed quietly he pulled two mugs down, grabbed a couple of chamomile tea bags, and poured the hot water from the kettle. He walked back to the living room and handed Jane a mug before sitting down opposite of her. He took a sip before speaking.
"Do you have any evidence?" He asked quietly.
She looked up and glared at him. "Not yet." She responded quietly before staring down at her teacup, "But I'll find something. He has to be innocent. I just don't understand."
Remus sighed, "I hate to say it, but the odds are against him."
"Remus. You of all people should know things aren't always so one-sided."
"Maybe. Or maybe this is the other side."
"What's that supposed to mean!?" She said defensively.
"I mean none of us ever really suspected Black to be the traitor," Remus said bitterly. "He was supposed to be different from his family, but…. but what if it was all an act the whole time?"
Jane gaped at him.
"This whole time!? That's ridiculous! We've known him for 11 years! Your telling me you think he was capable of plotting murder since he was 11!?"
"No. Of course not. But maybe at 16…."
Jane knew what he was referring too and she let out a huff. Sirius really could be incredibly rash and stupid sometimes.
"An idiotic plan that wasn't thought through. You know he does that. And whatever happened last night and this morning was one of those."
"Planning someone's murder is not just an idiotic plan Jane."
"I know that but he wasn't intending on trying to kill Snape. You're his best friend! The Marauders! Nothing could break you apart! What happened to that!?"
"When he sold out James and Lily and killed the others! That's what happened! Jane, how could you be so blind to that? How can you be so sure he wasn't faking it all at least since he was 16? We know his brother was a Death Eater at that age. He could've been one too. Or his family could've gotten to him."
"You're talking about my husband Remus. I'm his family now. The Marauders, you, James, and Peter. I thought you were his brothers, his real family too. And now that he needs you you're going to turn your back on him? You think my entire Marriage with him was a lie? "
"He turned his back on the Marauders first!" Remus was trying his hardest to stay calm but he was tired and filled with grief. He wasn't sure what to think. He didn't want to believe that Padfoot betrayed them but the logic and truth was right in front of him and he knew that ignoring it would only hurt more in the end. There was no denying it. He also knew that Jane had loved him with all her heart and soul. He couldn't comprehend what she was feeling.
A small part of him knew Sirius loved her too. The late nights in 6th year when he would just talk about her all the time without even realizing it until James had pointed it out told him that (and almost murdered him for it even if Sirius had never said anything vulgar about her, just mostly spewing adoration and praise). Or that fact that when he realized he liked her he stopped going after other girls and focused solely on her. The way he would shower her with anything she wanted and didn't want. How on the day he found out she was pregnant and he had immediately called them all in to brag that he beat James in becoming a father. How Sirius "I will never get married and I will never have kids" Black bursting into the room one night holding his baby girl when the Marauders were all together and saying "I'm going to marry Jane Potter!" (James being the overprotective cousin binding Sirius to a chair with lectures and interrogations even if it was his best friend). He Had to have loved her then. So what changed?
Remus had to push those thoughts away. Even if Sirius had loved her and loved the Marauders he had betrayed them. Whatever love he had must not have been enough compared to whatever Voldemort had offered him. He knew that if she denied the truth any longer she would only be hurting herself.
"And…. I'm not saying all of it was based on a lie. But his family was always obsessed with blood purity and marriage and well you come from the Le Fay Line so maybe they saw an opportunity and took it," He continued. He wasn't sure who he was trying to convince with that thought.
Jane thought for a moment. Tears of frustration and sadness were spilling freely. She couldn't blame Remus for that. She saw the tears peeking through from time to time. But Remus was always the most collected with emotions. If she was having an emotional breakdown, Remus would hold it together for her. And she was grateful for that. Remus was hurting and the past 24 hours had drained him from hope. At 13 years old when he learned his friends found out about his Lycanthropy he thought they would leave him. But his loyal friends stood with him. Up until now. The pain of that betrayal hurt him just as much as her pain hurt her. But she refused to believe that Sirius could abandon his friends just like that.
"Look. Sirius is a lot of things but his not much of a liar. And before you start, little white lies to get out of pranks or to cover for the full moon are one thing. But something like this? That's not in his character. Tell me one time he's told a lie that was to prevent someone else from getting hurt or in trouble."
Remus opened his mouth to speak but she interrupted with an afterthought.
"He's withheld information but he hasn't told a lie without reason. At least that I can think of."
Remus closed his mouth. She was right, he thought. Every lie that came to mind included some Marauders secret that they refused to share to the world. But still he had naively thought that a Marauders bond would keep them together and look where that got them. There was no more bond.
"You can lie about a lot of things but one thing you can't lie about is your true character. Something doesn't add up yet. There are too many unknowns." Jane said.
She was right. Remus knew the what, but not the why or the how of everything that happened in the past 24 hours. A small part of him started to doubt. But reason took over. Something in the story wasn't right. But the fact of the matter was the Potters are now dead, Sirius was the Secret Keeper. That was a fact.
He placed his tea cup on a coaster on the small corner table next to him and stood up. He walked over to Jane and wrapped his arms around her and let her lean into him.
"You still love him," he said matter of factly.
"I do," she replied softly. "Don't you?"
"Maybe," he responded just as quietly. "But don't you think you're listening too much to your heart and not enough to your head?"
"No." She said, "The heart always gives you the best instincts. It's the mind that leads you away."
An: sorry its taken me awhile to post this. I've had midterms. hopefully the next chapter will come out quicker but finals are soon too. bear with me please.
ALSO: if its confusing because I call her jane Potter, and then say she comes from the Le fey line. her maiden name is Potter and her last name comes from Morgan le fey who according to a wiki is a half sister of King Arthur (shes also on a chocolate frog card) and I'm going with it because I can so why not.
