Author's Note: Hey, here we are. We have arrived at the finale of Season 1 in the original show. Technically the motto Grif drops in the beginning belongs to the Marines, and since they're supposed to be in the Army, I made a slight correction there. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue.


Let's Try This Again

It was just a normal morning here at Red Base. As usual, Simmons and Grif found themselves standing around, bored out of their mind. As the pair start to feel uncomfortable from the silence, Simmons attempts to have small talk with his squadmate.

"Hey," he calls over.

"Yeah?"

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

There was a blank pause as Simmons waited for a response. The helmet hid Grif's massive eye roll but failed to mufflee his grumbling.

He turns and grumpily jeers "No. I never, ever, wonder why we're here. This we'll defend, bitch."

While the two were talking, Rowe could be seen making her way up the ramp right as Church runs up and possesses Lopez's body.

"Keegakergerk!"

This quickly drew the attention of all three of them and they all moved over to check on their robotic teammate.

"What? What's wrong with Lopez?" asks Simmons.

"I don't know, he had a stroke?" Grif mutters, not really caring at the moment.

"What, robots can't have strokes," Rowe scolds, she looks over to Simmons for confirmation, "Right?"

He shrugs and replies "It would be a rather big design flaw if he could." Simmons turns back to the robot and asks "Hey, Lopez, uh.. you okay, man?"

*"Aye, muchachos, necesito darles... un aviso..."

Church pauses mid sentence. Church quickly picked up that there was something seriously wrong with the person he just possessed.

*"¿Qué? ¿Por qué estoy hablando en español? ¡Yo no puedo hablar español!" he cries out in confusion.

All Simmons could do was blankly stare at him before awkwardly murmuring "Um... Sure."

*"¡No, no, escuchame! ¡La bruja los va a matar! ¡Ella está trabajando en el tanque!" he desperately cries.


Meanwhile, back on the cliff, Fergo had long since walked back down leaving Tucker and Caboose on their own for the time being. Caboose was still adamantly watching Red Base while Tucker was digging into a packet of M&Ms that he had fished out from one of the MREs. When he looks back to Tex, he grows concerned by her current progress.

"Aw, crap. Caboose, she's almost done fixing Sheila. Better radio Church and tell him what's going on."

"Yes!"

He excitedly drops the binoculars and grabs his radio.

He then enthusiastically says "Calling Church. Come in, Church. This is your close, personal friend, Private O'Malley."

"O'Malley?" Tucker interjected.

Tucker thought his ears had failed him for a brief moment.

For confirmation, he says "I thought your name was Caboose."

"I never said that, you guys did!" he snaps back.

"Why didn't you correct us?"

"Because I didn't want to be difficult."

He then turns away and gets back onto his radio.

"Come in, Private Church. Do you copy? Soldier unit Tex almost has the armored vehicle situation rectified. Okay. We require verification of your... mission...ness."

As he clears his throat, Tucker stands at the cortner of his eye, giving him a suspicious look. Something weird was going on, Tucker was positive Caboose didn't even know what half those words meant. He didn't have long to dwell on those thoughts as Church responded to Caboose's hails.

*"¡Caboose! ¡Nadie aquí está escuchando mí! ¡No más puedo hablar español!" Church desperately cries.

There was a brief moment of silence as Caboose processed what he had just heard.

He then turn to Tucker with a blck expression and says "...He says he wants to talk to you."


"Try it now!" Lockett cries from the back of the tank.

Suddenly the tank powers up.

Sheila's familiar polite voice robotically drones "Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank."

Lockett quickly fixes the back panel over the engine in the back and runs over to the crew compartment where he throws Tex two thumbs up.

Lockett then turns away and discreetly turns on his radio and says to Tucker "We've got a problem."

He looks up and sees Tucker over the edge looking back at him.

"We're out of time," he tells him. "And I am out of excuses."


"Un tanque... grrrande!" Church slowly and loudly drawls out as if that was somehow going to make the reds understand him.

"Hey, I think if you're gonna live in this country, you should speak the language." grumbles Grif.

"What country? We're on an alien planet," retorted Simmons.

Grif angrily retorts back "What're you, a communist?"

Before he could respond, their chain of thought was broken as a high pitched whistling sound screamed over their heads followed by an explosion at the cliff wall behind the base followed by the booming blast of the cannon echoing throughout the canyon.

"What was that?!" they simultaneously scream.

Rowe snaps her head in the other direction and her eyes widen to the size of dinner plates as she spots Sheila with smoke coming from her cannon.

"Cannon fire!" she screams

She tackles the two of them to the ground as another round is fired at them. This one came up short as it landed right in front of the base and threw up chunks of dirt and sand at the cowering reds.

"Son of a bitch!" the three of them scream.

Church could also be heard screaming around the same time *"¡HIJO DE PUTA!"


Back at the cliff, Tucker and Caboose both lower their respective magnification equipment. Caboose had a fearful look whereas Tucker had a more indifferent and apathetic look as they watched everything in Church's plan fall apart.

"Church is getting mad at us," whimpers Caboose as he spots Church's angry glare through his binoculars.

Tucker sarcastically scoffs and he rolls his eyes "Ohhhhh. What else is new?"

"What is Lockett doing?" asks Caboose.

Through his sniper scope, he spots Lockett and Fergo arguing about something while pointing at the tank in front of them as Sheila fires upon the base.

"You don't think Lockett is gonna do anything to sabotage Tex do you?"

"Heh no," Tucker snorts, "In the short time we've known him, he has yet to do anything that he thinks would put us in danger without anything worth the risk."

"He also doesn't seem to like Church that much also," Caboose thoughtfully notes.

"Ha yeah, it's awesome, he literally takes no shit from him," Tucker snickers. "He's definitely been a lot more subtle about it though, maybe he just doesn't like his attitude….makes sense, I hate Church's attitude too"


Sarge grabs his radio and barks out "Rowe, I'm coming around in the Warthog. Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by."

"Copy!" Rowe cries out. She turns to Simmons and asks "Simmons, do we have a launcher in the base?"

"Yeah, we should!"

"Is it loaded?"

"I think so, why?"

The trio duck down again as another tank round strikes their cover.

She turns to him and says "I need you to go down and get it, now!"

"O-okay!" he cries.

"On my go…" she barks as she watches out for another tank round. When it hits, she turns and cries "MARK!"

"MOVING!" he panickily screams as he scrambles for the stairs.

"Grif, are you going to be fine here on your own?" she asks.

There was a pause as the base was struck by another round.

"Um…yes?"

Grif, did NOT sound confident in his answer, but I mean, what else was he going to do? She then takes off as Sarge pulls up in the Warthog and skids to a stop in front of the ramp. When she climbs onto the gunner's seat, he pulls away from the base and begins driving towards the tank.

" Alright, here's the plan-"

Sarge never got to finish his explanation as a round fired from Sheila strikes the rear passenger side wheel of the Warthog, flipping the vehicle forward and launching the two into the air.

"JUNEBUG!" Sarge shouts in surprise.

"I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM HERE!" Rowe randomly screams, drawing a weird look from Sarge as they fly through the air.


Back at the base, Simmons had finally returned to the roof with the loaded launcher slung along his back. When got there, he saw that only Grif had remained.

"Wait, where's Rowe?" he asks.

Before Grif could respond, both Sarge and Rowe came running up the ramp and took cover behind the base's ramparts as if right on queue.

"Oh, there they are," he casually replies.

"Where did you guys go?"

"Oh, they went and got the jeep blown up again," he laughs.

Simmons turns to Sarge and snidely remarks "What exactly was your plan Sarge?"

Rather than answer his question, Sarge glares at the two and lowly growls "If we survive this, I'm gonna kill both of ya. Slowly."

Rowe immediately cuts in and asks Simmons "Did you bring the launcher?"

Simmons holds up the loaded anti-tank weapon.

"You know how to use it?" she asks.

He frantically nods but also warns "Y-yeah, but it's only got two HEAT rockets and they're unguided."

"Hand it over"

He nods and slides the launcher over to her and she begins making the necessary adjustments to the launcher sight.

"Hey, what're you guys doin' up here?!" he exasterbly cries out.

"Donut, get down, the tank is back!" Rowe cries.

"That chick in the black armor's also back!" Grif quickly adds.

"What chick? The one that stuck the grenade to my head?" he asks.

"That's the one," nods Simmons.

Donut climbs out of the trench and stands straight up, completely unfazed by the battle raging on. He wore a weirdly confident and well motivated look on his face.

"The same chick whose fault it is that I'm stuck in this light red armor?" he asks, this time sounding noticeably angrier.

Rowe let's a disappointed sigh and says to him "Donut, I applaud your effort in preserving your masculinity…but your armor color is a hole you dug yourself into."

Donut excitedly rubs his hands together, completely ignoring her.

"Ohho..!" he excitedly laughs, "Oh, I've been waiting for this."

He excitedly runs over to the edge of the base and stares straight at the tank.

"Hey, bitch! Remember me!?" he hollers with his voice echoing off the walls of the canyon. "I saved somethin' for ya!"

He then unhooks a plasma grenade from off his belt and pushes the arming switch, and in a mad glee, he hurls the grenade with all his might. Everyone immediately stops what they were doing and silently watches as the lone grenade soars through the air.

Clearly impressed by the pink soldier's display of athletic ability, Tucker dumbly comments "Man... that girl's got a really good arm."

Hmm, look at that, if the pink one was on his team, Lockett would actually be feeling…rather proud actually. Though there was something strange about that grenade. He closely follows the grenade's trail…and quickly realizes that the grenade is heading right for them!

"Incoming!" he screams as he immediately throws Fergo to the ground and jumps on top of her.

The grenade manages to land directly onto a spot on the hatch where Tex's chest was located.

Realizing her predicament, all she had time to do was scream out "Aw, CRAP!"

There was a loud bang and after the dust clears, Lockett and Fergo look up.

"Hell yeah! Three points, ya dirty whore!" a voice rings out throughout the canyon.

Lockett quickly stands up and offers his hand to Fergo.

"You alright?" he asks.

"Yeah," she grunts as Lockett pulls her to her feet. "You're heavy by the way," she grunts.

Ignoring her comment, he looks over at the once again, wrecked tank.

"Oh no," he solemnly murmurs. He turns to Fergo and says "Get the others and secure the area."

Without another word, he takes off for the tank.


At Red Base, Church had also seen the tank get hit.

*"¡Dios mío, no!" he screams before also taking off towards the tank while screaming "¡Tejas, Tejas!"

Red just stood there and watched with equally confused faces.

Grif turns to Sarge and asks "Uh, where's Lopez going?"

"To fight the enemy head on, in hand-to-hand combat. Mano e mano. What a brave little compadre," he grimly replies, he then bows his head and mournfully prepares a quick, makeshift eulogy. He preaches "Lopez, I never understood a word you said. But I do know one thing: You hated Grif, and that's the most important thing there is. Adios, amigo... Adios."

"Sarge, shouldn't we be helping him." asks Simmons.

"Naw... That would just ruin the moment," he replies, not feeling concerned whatsoever.

Clearly not looking forward to the potential paperwork, Rowe asks "So, how are going to make him come back when he's done then, or what if he doesn't come back at all?"

"We'll deal with it when the time comes, specialist," he softly tells her, "For now, let us have a moment of silence for our robotic friend."

Rowe looks over to the others with a deadpan look, to which they just shrugged.


When Church made it to the tank, he could see Lockett was already on scene attempting to apply first-aid.

"Save it Lockett," she weakly says, pushing his hand away, "I-it doesn't hurt anymore."

It was clear to Lockett that she wasn't going to make it, he looks over to Church and apologetically shakes his head.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" he asks.

"I-I don't suppose you have any morphine do you?" she asks.

He nods, reaches into the trauma kit and pulls out an auto-inject and places the needle into her arm vein. It is never easy losing a teammate, and though the two didn't exactly start off having a great relationship, she was still a part of his team. Thus, ultimately fell under his responsibility in making sure they stayed alive and functional. With this logged as the second casualty since he had arrived in this canyon, it started to dawn on Lockett that maybe taking this job wasn't such a good idea.

"Church, is that you?" she hoarsely calls out.

Church silently kneels down and tightly grasps her hand.

"It-It's gone, Church," she whispers, "The A.I., it's gone. Thank you."

A few brief moments pass and Church sees Tex's body stop breathing. He places his thumb onto her wrists and to find a pulse. When he fails, he lets out a quiet sigh, reaches up and pulls off her dog tags.


When Fergo reached the cliffside, she could see the two looking over the edge. Tucker looks over towards her with a questioning look and knowing full well what he was asking, she slowly nods her head.

"Man, Church is going to be pissed," mumbles Tucker, "And Lockett for that matter."

"We should go," mutters Fergo, "We should leave before more Reds show up."

"Alright," he nods, he turns to Caboose who was still looking over the edge and says "Come on, Caboose, let's get back to base."

"I told you, my name isn't Caboose..." he angrily chides.

Tucker and Fergo share a confused glance as they look over to the Blue soldier who has yet to move from his spot.

He turns towards them and suddenly, in a deep, low-pitched growl, he says "My name... is... O'Malley."


Author's Note: And that's a wrap, thanks for reading. I decided not to translate the Spanish as Church was speaking it. Figured it would add more to the scenes if you guys didn't understand him either.

Here are the translations though, if you still wanted to read them:

[1] Guys, I need to give... you a... warning...

[2] What? Why am I speaking Spanish? I don't know Spanish!

[3] No, listen to me! The mean woman is going to kill you! She is fixing the tank!

[4] Caboose! No one here is listening to me! I can only speak Spanish for some reason!

[5] SON OF A BITCH!

[6] My God, no! Texas! Texas!

We are done, this is a good spot to stop here seeing as this is the original Season 1 finale and I don't feel like filling in that several month time skip between 1 and 2. I think I might go back to writing my other story, so I may not see you guys for a while. As always, I hope you enjoyed it, please follow if you haven't already and you want to see more. Also, please leave a comment if you liked it or hated it, and Remember…Big Brother is watching.