Chapter 10 - Writing our own music
The walk back to our pod was hilarious, using phone torches to light the path, reminding Tae when he heard a rustle that we didn't have bears in New Zealand so it was likely just a bird. We had sat for an hour, talking softly, filling the baths a few times with warmer water as they grew cold. Eventually we started to wrinkle and agreed that we had been in there long enough, the Summer air cooling around us as we quickly hopped out and put our robes back on, extinguishing the lights.
We'd dried off a little once we closed the door behind us, quickly climbing into bed without dressing, knowing there was really no point for clothes. I clung straight against him, soaking in his warmth, the shivering subsiding as it flowed through me. The moon was high in the sky, a bright orbit of creamy light and it cast a glow through the windows that looked out across the view.
"I forget that it can be cold at night even in the Summer," I mumbled into his chest, enjoying the feeling of us pressed against each other. There wasn't any deep desire there in our actions, we were just enjoying the touch without it leading anywhere, at least for now. His hand was lightly running up and down my back and it made me close my eyes as I just enjoyed the flow.
"Didn't you bring a jacket? We can go somewhere tomorrow and I can buy you one."
I stiffened a little, body growing tense like it always did when money was mentioned and he felt it, adjusting his hold on me, a little lighter with his touch.
"Or not," he said, giving me the option.
"I didn't bring a thick one but I can just wear extra tshirts and get one from home for the rest of the trip when we go back to pick up Sophia."
He sighed. "You know it really doesn't matter if I buy you one."
"It does to me," I said, a little shortly and his hand stilled a little before continuing his movements.
"I didn't say it needed to be expensive."
"I know."
"And it was just a suggestion," he continued.
"I know." I was annoyed now, my reaction being over the top but I also knew we had to talk about money sooner rather than later and this seemed like an easy way to start it all off, even if I didn't want to. "You know I have a problem talking about this."
"I do jagiya and I hope we can find a way for it to be OK."
"Your money is your money."
"When we marry, it will be our money. That's the way I want to look at it."
"I have been the one working for Sophia since Matty died. And we've managed. It feels wrong to take your money, you earned it and I don't need it."
He pulled away slightly, turning us so we were laying on our backs, tucked in together but looking at the ceiling. It felt easier than looking at each other as we talked about something I had been avoiding.
"If I needed some of your money, would you give it to me," he asked after taking a moment.
"Of course," I answered, knowing what he was getting at.
"And I would pay it back," he continued.
"I know but you wouldn't have to."
"Exactly."
I let out a low growl of frustration "It's not the same. You're not going to be asking for thousands of dollars. You're talking about if you went into a shop to buy some treats and left your wallet in the car. A few dollars. It's a lot harder to accept that you want me to have access to all your money."
"Again, it would be our money."
"It wouldn't. The houses you own, the money in the bank now. That's all from before I was around. I do not want people to think I want to be with you for what you have not who you are."
"They won't," he placated, running his hand down my arm.
"Tae, you know there will definitely be people that say that. Look at the things they've already said online and we haven't even confirmed we are together yet. When they start finding out things about me, they'll see I'm not wealthy and jump to the conclusion I'm a gold digger."
He was thinking as I spoke, silent again for a moment.
"Would it make it better to just have some of my money?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I want to give you everything, eventually, but the houses and money are in my name now. I want to make sure that when I'm away serving, you are never without. We could have an account that was for both of us. I can put my money in there, not all of it," he said quickly as I frowned at him, "enough though and if you wanted, you could put some money in there too. That way it belonged to both of us and we can both use it."
I knew what he was doing, he'd never touch the account, using a different one so that the money stayed in there just for me but I appreciated that he was trying to think outside the box. "Maybe," I replied and he nodded against my skin, accepting that for now.
"You know, when we're married, I would like you to be able to stay at home for Sophia and any other children we have. I'd like to be the one who works, hear me out Marley," he said as I went to interrupt and I stopped myself, holding my tongue. "That may be old fashioned but I loved having my Eomma at home when I was younger and we won't need you to work. Of course, you can still work from home if you want to but I'd love if our life looked like that." I knew what he meant. My father had worked and my mother hadn't. We had a simple life, not a lot of extras but when I came home from school, there were scones and cookies, home cooked meals and a cosy home.
"I'm not against that Tae, that was what I grew up with too and I do like working from home anyway."
"As long as you know you have a choice. That's what I'd like our life to look like but we need to talk about all those things because it's not just up to me. I do just want you to be happy."
He was trying so hard, thinking of ways around what should've been easy and maybe my stubbornness about this confused him a little. "I know oppa, gomawoyo." I snuggled against him again.
"And when it's time for us to get married, because that's what I see happening, you will have what is mine."
My heart galloped like it always did when he mentioned the M word. I knew I'd say yes and I also knew he wouldn't ask me soon. It wasn't the right time but it still made me tingle to think of it, that he would actually be mine and our children would have his name.
"I think we'd need a prenup," I said, voicing it a little hesitantly in the darkness.
"What is that word?"
"Hmmm... an agreement that says what belongs to you. That way all the things you have before I was around are still yours."
"I don't want one of those, we don't need one." He was frowning now, I could tell in his voice without even looking at him.
"Maybe it's for me. I might want my house to stay in my name," I joked.
"And of course it can," he said quickly.
"Actually, I want it in Sophia's name," I replied after thinking. "Since it was something Matty and I bought together."
"Of course, that makes sense. But I do want you to know that the money part isn't important to me. And I don't care what others think."
"We have time to talk about that but it's all a bit much today." It was enough that I had possibly agreed to a joint account. Thinking about anything else above that still set my teeth on edge. "We'll talk more when we need to."
"This hasn't made you cry so that's a good thing. I can set up the account in both our names then," he asked.
"OK," I said softly, conceding that my pride didn't need to win out on this one. Besides, I probably wouldn't even use it but if it meant peace of mind while he was serving, I could compromise.
"That makes me happy jagi," he said, kissing along my face, tiny cute pecks, making me smile.
"I think we're going to be able to find our way through all of the money stuff Tae. Wealth, it's not something I'm used to and I don't yearn to be famous. I just want you and I know that comes with things I'll have to work out. But I will get there, eventually."
"I can be patient," he said, his tiny pecks turning into slower and wetter opened mouth kisses on my neck.
"Ah, can you," I replied, closing my eyes at the feeling.
"About that, not about this," he answered, hands holding me tightly as he moved so he was above me. "I'm never really patient for your body."
"I always want you too," I answered, blushing a little but wanting to say it out loud.
"I . Am . So . Lucky ," he said, kissing down my body to my stomach before he didn't wait any longer, sliding into me, instantly causing my body to arch to meet his.
I could feel the change as soon as we'd talked, the heavy possibilities of tension and disagreement gone. It was almost as if by talking about something that had been lingering for a while, we'd stripped the last of the differences away, trusting each other fully. I had trusted him for a long time, since almost the beginning and he'd given himself over to me in ways that could put him in jeopardy, knowing I wouldn't. That was trust but this was different. And now, when we moved together, it wasn't with the same fire that it usually had when we craved each other. It felt even more like making love and even when it felt like our bodies were burning for each other, there was a tenderness, more so than ever before. Love and lust had merged into a kind of focused devotion that felt unconditional. And, if it was even possible, it brought us closer together, amplifying our intimacy.
"How can it keep getting even better with you," Tae asked, grabbing the sheets to cover our bodies, even as the sweat began to dry on our skin as we came down from our high. I rolled over to prop up on my elbows, taking him in with my eyes. My smile felt small but it was all I could manage without bursting into tears, I felt it too.
"Do you know jagiya," he continued tenderly, reaching to tuck hair away from my face, "I remember the first time I saw you lying like this."
I looked down at myself, trying to think back to when it could be.
"You were probably without most of your clothes, covered with a towel and I was doing everything I could to remain a gentleman which was incredibly difficult."
"A towel? Oh, was that when I had my massage," I asked, pieces coming together, remembering how early that was in our relationship. We'd only kissed the night before for the first time.
"Yes and you were lying just like this, on your elbows, looking up at me with your big, green eyes. The towel had fallen a little and I could see the curve of your body, your breasts were hidden but only just and I wanted to reach out and touch." His hand came up to illustrate, grazing the edge of my chest pressed into the mattress under me.
"I'm glad you didn't. It wasn't the right time then."
"I know and I wanted you to be ready to feel my touch, at the right time."
"It was worth the wait oppa," I replied, cupping his cheek in my hand before tracing his jaw to his lips, brushing my thumb across. His eyes automatically closed as I grazed along his mouth, his eyelashes just another part I loved as they hid his gaze from me.
Tae POV
She'd finally agreed to share some of my money and I felt relief as she smiled at me, a little hesitantly as I knew she still wasn't completely OK with it all but I took it as a win. The money battle was the biggest one we'd had to fight so far. We had hurt each other about online things but she understood now how untrue most of it was and now the things we disagreed on were mainly what to eat for dinner and whose turn it was to do the dishes. That was usually sorted by playing rock, paper, scissors which I always won and then we ended up doing them together anyway.
Now, as I hovered above her, gazing down, I knew in every part of me that I wanted to be with her forever. It wasn't that she was Marley and I was Tae. It was 'us' now and along with Sophia, that felt perfect.
"I am so lucky," I said as I kissed her throat, sailing down her body, the curves and feel so familiar now yet it felt new each time we were together. It was exciting just to be with her but to explore her as often as we both wanted to was amazing. And when we connected, we gave ourselves fully to each other. She was the only person I ever wanted to be with like this, my anchor in each moment, holding me safely and making sure I didn't slip away.
Marley POV
We'd talked for hours, falling asleep still wrapped in each others arms but when I woke at 3am, I was in desperate need of a bathroom stop. Wriggling carefully so not to wake him, I peeled myself away from Tae's side. He stirred a little but only changed position and fell straight back into sleep, while I smiled fondly at him. The moon was still coming through the windows and it cast it's light across his face, dappled shadows highlighting different parts of his skin. He was bare faced, a little more tanned than he likely ever would have been before and flawless. I sighed as I breathed in, sometimes my heart just felt too full to believe I could be this lucky.
The cool night air prickled my skin in goosebumps and I reached for my underwear, slipping them over my legs as I pulled his shirt over my head. It was long enough to completely cover me and I was glad he liked oversized items as I opened the door and crept along the short path to the bathrooms. The fact I knew we were the only ones at the campsite meant I wasn't bothered about running into anyone and the moon plus solar lights lit the way so I didn't stumble. But I wasn't warm as I hurried, feeling relief when I reached the common area, heading straight to the bathrooms.
Afterwards, I walked into the kitchen and flicked the jug on. I was wide awake now and decided a hot tea would be what I needed before heading back to bed. Hopefully Tae wouldn't wake and wonder where I was. As I waited for the jug to boil, I wandered into the dining room next door. The piano lid was left open and I walked over, absentmindedly letting my hands sink into the keys as I played a quick run along the keyboard. The night was still and the sound was louder than I expected, carrying across the room and out into the darkness. I held my breath, hoping it hadn't woken Tae up, the sudden noise disturbing the peace and quiet of the still night air.
Heading back into the kitchen, I pulled out the teabags and set about making a cuppa. I felt the draft at my back before I heard the door close, turning a little as arms engulfed my waist. "Sorry, did I wake you when I left?"
"I heard the piano," he answered, kissing my cheek, lips lingering.
"Sorry jagi, didn't mean to make you wake up. Do you want a tea? I'm making myself one."
I felt him nod lazily against me and I reached for another cup, walking a little while he stayed attached to me, making it a little difficult to walk.
"Tae," I laughed, " I can't move oppa," I said gently, even as I rested my hand on top of his around my waist.
"That's OK," he replied and I wasn't surprised when he didn't let go, continuing to cling to me. It was one of my favourite things about him, how close he always wanted to be to those he loved.
"It's more than OK but it does make it a little hard to pour the hot water," I said softly and he sighed as he detached himself from me, brushing his hand on my cheek as he walked into the dining room, giving me a great view of his mostly uncovered legs. He'd obviously thought much the same as me, no-one was around, and came to find me in just his boxers and a hastily gathered shirt.
Biting my lip as I smiled to myself, I poured the water into our cups, carrying them through as a soft sound echoed, Tae playing a quiet few notes on the piano. He had more finesse on the instrument than I did, stroking the keys lightly and I walked over, putting the mugs carefully down and sitting next to him on the piano bench. I sat quietly, absorbing the feeling as our legs pressed against each other. When his hands stilled, coming to rest on top of the keyboard, I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Beautiful."
"Yes, you are," he replied, leaning his head against mine.
"I meant the music, but you knew that. I really am in awe of your talent oppa," I said, turning a little to brush kisses along any part I could reach. He didn't move, closing his eyes as my lips caressed his forehead and cheek before he leaned to take my hand in his, pulling me onto his lap, straddling his thighs as we stared at each other.
"I'm in awe of you," he said, tone flowing over me as I smiled a little. "I mean it Marley. When we met, your smile was beautiful but I didn't get to see it as often as I'd have liked. Now, I see it all the time and it reminds me how far you've come since then, how much you've healed."
"You have to know you're a huge part of that Tae," I replied, leaning forward a little to press a kiss to his mouth, feeling it turn to a smile under my touch.
"I hope I helped a little," he said when our mouths pulled apart even as he pulled my body closer to his, wrapping his arms around my back.
"Oh Taehyung, do you really have any idea what you do to me?"
We stared intensely at each other for a moment before we both lurched forward at the same time, lips locking and sliding, hands smoothing over crevices and mountains before settling comfortably where they most felt at home. Our eyes didn't move from each other, Tae leaning forward a little to undo the first then second button on the shirt I was wearing, kisses pressed to the valley between my breasts. I surrendered, back instantly arching at his touch, chest rising to meet his lips as his hands moved from my buttons to anchor on my hips, sliding me as close as I could get to his body. The shirt hiked up at my thighs and his hands came to rest under it, stroking the skin, the pads of his fingers sliding over like silk before they landed on my back.
"Lay back jagiya," he said, voice rich and deep as he guided me down, my hands coming up to his shoulders for support as I trusted him to hold me safely.
The keys made a dissonant chord under my body as I rested back, a strange accompaniment to our movements as Tae slowly removed the clothing between us with gentle precision, while kisses ignited more heat between us until we were skin on skin. And as we glided towards release, fingers linked together, we wrote a new song with our bodies, the music under us a beautiful melody of adoration as we cherished each other with all of ourselves, the steaming mugs of tea going cold beside us.
