A/N - It's been a while since I updated this but that's because I've been avoiding the story. Mainly because I know it's wrapping up soon for good and I'm attached to the characters! But, I'm going to try and update every 1-2 weeks until I'm done and I think there are 3 chapters here and one final chapter of the original story. Stay tuned :)

Chapter 18

"So we need to dig it ourselves," Tae asked as we walked along the forest path. He was carrying a small shovel we'd bought that day and it looked a little dodgy, the three of us walking into the woods like we were going to hide a body.

"Yes, I have the location and apparently, you dig a hole near the river and it's your own personal hot pool."

"Sounds messy," he said.

"Sounds fun though," I answered, carrying our towels and changes of clothes on my back. Sophia, as always, was happily skipping along with us, ready for whatever adventure we had planned and I was so grateful she was an easy child. This trip was only possible for the three of us because she adapted so well to anything new.

"I think this is it," I said as we came out of the tree line and up onto a riverbed, stopping when I saw a few other people nearby. They were sunk into the water up to their armpits, leaning back and looking comfortable. "Hmmm, do you want to risk it," I asked quietly, eyeing them up. It was one thing to be out in public in disguises but another to be somewhere in your swimsuit and get recognised. He glanced sideways, noticed they were young and shrugged his shoulders.

"We've come this far. And it's not like I didn't put pictures on Instagram of us, even if your faces aren't clear. Yet so far that hasn't seemed to make much of a difference to us being exposed. It really is as if the people here in New Zealand are giving us space if they even notice us at all."

A voice interrupted, an accent from Europe as they called across. "We're just leaving, you can have our space so you don't have to dig your own?"

"Oh, that would be great thank you," I called back, Tae turning his back slightly so his face wasn't to the people. They might be from another country, but he was known all round the world. We kept off to the side as they climbed out and dried themselves off, throwing some clothes on over what they were wearing before heading our way.

"It's beautiful in," they said as they came near us.

"Looking forward to it," I replied as Tae busied himself with the bags, pretending to rummage through looking for something so he could keep his face averted. The lady was smiling at us and they both stopped as if they wanted to have a chat.

"Are you on holiday," she asked and I leaned down to help Sophia take off her hat and shoes, hoping that would send them on their way.

"We live here," I replied, meaning the country and hoping that would be enough.

"Oh so you probably have lots of tips on where to go? We're thinking of heading down South next, are there any places we have to see." They were super friendly and I was grateful they were leaving so we could have their spot without digging ours but this looked like it was going to drag on too long for us to not worry about being recognised.

"Well, ah, you really can't go wrong with stopping at the local pubs in the small towns. The food is always great, I've found at least," I answered, thinking of our little trip away together.

"Oh great, we love it here, don't we, the people have been so friendly," the man said and she nodded along, looking between the three of us before she looked at Tae again, turning her head slightly to look at him properly. Then her eyes grew big and I knew she knew.

"Are you -," she began and I raced to answer.

"- ready to get in? Yes definitely! Thanks so much, have a great afternoon," and I grabbed Sophia's hand as we walked towards where the water was. Pretending to be engrossed in what we were doing as we dropped out towels and clothes, I glanced over to watch them walk away. The lady looked confused, maybe second guessing her eyes. Hopefully. I doubted there would be hoards of people scrambling to get here even if she posted online right now but it did make me weary. I was thankful we were in the middle of nowhere, a long way from any big city and the cellphone reception was sketchy. We might be OK.

As they disappeared out of view I let out a sigh of relief and Tae took my hand, guiding me into the water before handing Sophia down to me and scrambling in himself. It was a beautiful temperature and now we were the only people here, river running near us, trees nearby although not offering much shade as we adjusted the hats on our heads.

"Do you think she will post anything," I asked and he shrugged like earlier.

"I don't really care anymore, I want the world to know it's you and only you. And BugBug of course," he added, toselling her hair and I was so fond of the way he always made sure she wasn't left out.

"Yeah I worry about that," I said, over the top of her head, indicating her with my eyes. She was distracted picking up small stones from the edge of the hot pool and watching as they splashed into the slightly muddy water.

"Keeping little faces out of the media? I do too." He frowned at that, thinking a lot. I knew the weight of responsibility with keeping us safe was on his mind.

"Yeah, I can cope with what they say about me but not her."

"I don't want people to say anything about either of you," he said, reaching for my hand again, playing with my fingers. "If there was a way to have my life but take that part away, I'd do anything for it to happen. I really have no privacy most of the time but I'm sort of used to it. I know you're not and I don't want that for you, for us in the future."

"Is it better to just come out and reveal us all properly then," I asked, not really feeling comfortable with the idea.

"Honestly? Not now. And maybe not until after we're married. Not that I want to keep you hidden you understand," he hurried on to say and I smiled, holding his hand tightly in mine to reassure him that I did. "You've seen what saesang are capable of doing."

Married. Would I ever get over Tae saying that word, of what could be to come at the right time? "One day at a time like we've been doing then?"

He glanced around, making sure we were alone again before he leaned in to kiss me, Sophia squealing to get attention, forcing us apart after our lips had only briefly touched. "Mama, TaeTae, I want to play!"

"Oh you want to play," Tae asked mischievously and she understood his tone, quickly trying to get away as he reached for her, throwing her into the air as she giggled and giggled. One day at a time for now was just perfect.

We'd thankfully avoided getting too many bug bites from the midges that liked to hang around the river but as the sun was still fairly high in the sky and our skin prone to burning, we didn't stay too long, drying ourselves off and tramping back to the van. It was the only vehicle there when we got back and as we climbed in and Tae started the engine, he spoke. "Oh, there's a note under the windscreen wiper," and jumped out to get it, opening it as he climbed back inside.

"Huge fan! Enjoy your holiday Kim Taehyung and friends!"

"There's a winky face on the note too. I'm guessing she knows you're more than just my friends."

"OK then, well, there are some out of the way places we could visit on the way back home. We could just change our plans until things die down, if anything comes up online?"

We were on the home stretch now, just another ten days and it would be time for Tae to fly back to Korea.

He looked startled at the suggestion. "Ah, can we stick to the plan and just change it if we really have to?"

"OK, if that's what you want to do, you know best," I answered, face screwing up as I could tell there was a reason behind why he'd been so quick to speak.

"Yes that would be best."

"Is everything OK Tae?"

"Yes, yes, don't worry, it's all fine," he said as we buckled in to head away.

"You're being a little weird," I said, frowning at him.

"I'm always weird," he grinned back. "Isn't it one of the things you love about me?"

"It is but I mean a different kind of weird. Like you're hiding something."

"I guess I really can't hide anything from you jagiya."

"So there is something, I knew it, spill."

"It's a secret but don't worry, it's not a bad secret and you won't have to wait long."

I lowered my eyes, squinting at him. "Is this about my birthday? You haven't spent a lot of money have you?" He'd asked the last few weeks what I wanted and I told him the truth. Nothing, I was just enjoying our time together and I didn't need anything material given to me to mark getting older. I just wanted it low key. But considering he'd asked more than once, I don't think he was satisfied with that answer.

"Yes and no but don't ask anymore because surely a surprise is nice from time to time?"

"Yes, some surprises are good I suppose," I replied, eyeing him cautiously and he laughed.

"Nae sarang, have I ever planned a bad surprise?"

"True, that's true."

"So, you're happy to leave it until the surprise is here?"

"I don't know if happy is the right word but it's OK."

"You really like to know what's going on all the time don't you," he laughed.

"Are you asking if I like to be in control," I asked, death stare at him and he backtracked very quickly.

"No, no, no, that's not it at all. Although if I remember correctly...," and he raised his eyebrows, winking at me. The blush hit me instantly, knowing exactly what he'd been referring to. There had been a time recently where I'd taken control in bed the whole time, leaving us both very, very happy. It's not like Tae wouldn't relinquish control to me anytime I wanted it but I'd been more frisky than normal and had gone about instigating things that would've embarrassed me a year ago. Tae had been very surprised and very into it.

"We're not talking about that Taehyung."

"Ooops, I got the Taehyung," and he laughed again. "It's OK jagi. We don't have to talk about it but I know for sure that you do enjoy being in control from time to time."

"Hmmmppphhh," I replied, looking away but the smile that escaped my lips was noticeable and I really didn't try to hide it because what he said was true. I had enjoyed it. Very much.

"Mama, we have burgers?"

"Are you hungry little Bug," Tae asked and she nodded.

"Tummy is a lion."

"She means it's growling," I explained and he nodded seriously at her, before looking back to the road.

"Mine is a bear," he said.

"Silly TaeTae, no bears here."

"Point well made Sophia," I grinned, ruffling her curls. She was smart and I knew I wasn't just biased. "She's right, we don't have bears in New Zealand."

"OK then, it's a turtle. No, a monkey?"

Sophia was giggling and I felt relaxed after the hot water as we drove towards the sunset. "Maybe Tae is a puppy?"

"Like Yeontan? I want to see Yeontan." Sophia was pouting as she replied and it reminded me so much of the way Tae pouted that I couldn't help smiling at them both.

"Hmmmm, soon I can show you Tannie on the computer BugBug," he answered and although she was happy with the answer, I wasn't, smile disappearing. That meant he was back in Korea, away from us and this time, it was for a longer time than my heart was ready for.

"Maybe I should buy her a p-u-p-p-y for her birthday," Tae said, spelling it out.

"Please don't! As cute as that would be, it would be a lot harder to travel to see you and we'll be doing a lot of that over the next few years. Let's stick with the b-i-k-e."

"What words you saying," Sophia asked, clever enough to know when we were hiding something from her.

"We were just talking about presents Sophia," never one to love the idea of lying to her. Unless it was Santa, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny and then I would lie through my teeth until she stopped believing so she had some magic in her life. "It's your birthday soon!"

"I'll be four," she said, excitedly clapping her hands together.

"I already think you're a big girl but you'll be almost a grown up BugBug," Tae joked.

She frowned at him. "No, not a grown up. I want to go to preschool not work."

"Another good point Sophia, grown ups do have to work a lot."

"But we on holiday now. Mama, you go to work soon? And TaeTae?"

"Yes baby girl, soon TaeTae will have to go home, we both have lots of work to do."

"I don't want you to go home," she said to Tae, reaching for his free hand and he squeezed hers in his.

"I don't want to either Sophia, I'll miss you. But I do have to work and we'll see each other on the computer, as often as I can."

"I don't want to be a grown up," she huffed, putting together the fact work was taking Tae away from us.

"That's OK little love, you just be BugBug for as long as you can," and she snuggled into him, leaning as far into him as her carseat would let her.

I loved them both, so much. And I wasn't sure I could say goodbye to Tae in ten days time without a piece of my heart breaking off for good.