AN: This is the rewritten version of chapter 1. Some changes are of character personality tweaks and added parts ranging from large to small.

P.S. I recommend reading this at a slow pace whenever you are bored or just looking for something with tragedy and fluffy romance. I doubt the beginning (at least ) is going to be much of a tear jerker anyways.

Warning: Slow updates due to major editing/rewriting


Part 1

Chapter 1: Chinatsu Asuka

Love. Relationships. Marriage.

The significance of these words was always a mystery to me. To many people, Love was something to live for - to die for - yet what truly is the meaning of love? While people get into relationships, where they "love" each other and become a couple, they fight over their flaws and in the end break up. However, there are those who make it past the first stages, they believe they have found their true "love" and move on to the next stage, marriage. Yet, as they grow old together, they slowly fall out of love as time passes. Humans yearn for the feeling they call "love", but at the end of the road what is the point of "love"?

Platonic and romantic love are two different forms of love. Lust and Love, however, are two very different things. One is of sexual desire and the other of the latter two.

The two can also be easily confused with one another. For example, if one were to say that they "loved" or "liked" me, yet I had no idea of their true nature or better yet who they were, how was I to say what they felt was not love, but lust?

I've seen those who have gotten into relationships break apart emotionally and physically after they have split up with their partner. I've seen many being taken advantage of for their body, and those who have mistaken their platonic love for romantic love. Yet, most - if not all - suffer from the trauma they received due to heartbreak and betrayal.

So many problems seem to come from "love", yet people still seek it out even if their emotional baggage wears them down. To the point that I questioned others: Why? Why do you struggle for the feeling of love?

However, even I was caught in this ridiculous fiasco, and once upon a time, there was a girl whose eyes sparkled with a glow so enticing- so irresistibly beautiful. Truly with all my heart, I believe she was the closest being I knew to perfection. Yes, she had flaws, but if anything those flaws perfected her.

She came and went like a storm, and in a blink of an eye, she was gone. Yet, as if it was yesterday, I can still remember her voice like a whisper in my ear. Everything felt so brief, but even now- as the years have passed- I can still remember every detail, every moment, every memory we spent together. From the way, she smiled to her small habits. Even now, I still long for her.

She- Mio- changed me, so much to the point I can't even imagine how my life would have been if I had not met her. But if that is so, now that she is gone, how am I to live now?

Even now, her glow still affects me to this day. Her glow never ceased even after then. I wonder if I would ever get the chance to see those eyes of hers once more.


It was seven years ago when I first met her. First-year, class 1-B, I was proud of myself even if I never said it aloud, so when I heard that I wasn't the one to get first place in the entrance exams, my pride was crushed. Someone for the first time in my life had managed to outsmart me by a single point.

I was prideful, confident, and overall, competitive. So, when I heard that I was beaten - that I wasn't able to stand on that stage as the first-year representative- it lit a fire in me.

Nanami Mio. Whoever she was, I wasn't going to give up so easily.

The orientation, that took place on the first day of school, was hell. I stood in the audience in shame as I waited for them to call up the first-year representative. Someone who was not me. And the moment they did, I could feel my pride crush even more.

"First-year representative, Nanami Mio."

To make the entire situation worse, I was placed in the very same class as her. She quickly became well known for her looks, smarts, and her hardworking and dedicated personality. This caused many people to flock towards her.

I couldn't help but feel bitter towards her. I was determined to beat her. Her face was full of confidence- arrogance- yet no one seemed to notice anything, but her good points.


Today's Wednesday, two days after the orientation. The classroom was rowdy, especially since Nanami and her entourage took up the vast majority of it. When a group of girls approached me intending to befriend me. Yet, I had no intention to do the same.

The girl in the middle, who looked to be the "leader", spoke to me first. "Chinatsu-san, would you like to join us for lunch?"

I stood up and with the kindest smile I could muster, I said, "Please enjoy your lunch without me." and with that, I walked straight out of the classroom. Not even looking back to take a look at their reactions.

I found it hard to get along with anyone. It was hard to trust anyone with no way to tell whether or not anyone was who they truly were. And I found myself distancing myself from anyone and everyone. Yet, to think I would find myself in the very same situation that I dreaded- perhaps it was karma. However, that is a story for another time.

I found myself on a bench in the courtyard that was underneath the only sakura tree at the very center. My stomach growled and I only just realized I had forgotten my lunch money in my bag which happened to still be hanging on the side of my desk.

I groaned as my stomach once again demanded food. Slumping back, my gaze wandered to the sakura's that bloomed majestically above my head. I didn't want to go back to that suffocating classroom after that stunt I pulled.

I watched as the pink petals fell from the sky. One after the other, slowly, yet surely until finally the wind carried it away until the petal was no longer anywhere to be seen. Sakura petals look beautiful, however, over time just like any living thing, they, too, start to rot and die.

A tree may grow tall and prideful, yet once they grow too tall, they overshadow those around them. Hence, they who overshadow others only become either shunned or idolized.

I spaced out as I gazed at the petals for who knows how long. Until someone walked up to me during my stupor. The girl had her hair cut into a bob cut that complemented her soft facial features. She held out a yakisoba bun towards me and said, "W-would y-you like th-this, C-Chinatsu-san?"

My stomach grumbled loudly, and I could feel my cheeks turn red in embarrassment. I said while taking the bread from her, "Thank you, um…?"

"T-Tanaka Tsumugi, I'm in the same class as C-Chinatsu-san." She stammered while she introduced herself.

"Forgive me for not knowing your name. I'm Chinatsu Asuka. Although I'm sure you know that already." I joked trying to reassure the girl. Her shoulders visibly relaxed as she smiled timidly.

Tanaka Tsumugi was a kind girl, someone who I had always enjoyed being in her company, whether it be in silence or not. She was always a bit timid, yet she, too, could be courageous at times.

"Wanna sit?" I invited the girl onto the bench as I took a bite out of the yakisoba bun.

"A-ah, thank y-you…" Tanaka timidly sat down with her back hunched away, clearly trying not to look at me. She, too, pulled out her lunch- a melon bun- and started to munch on it.

I glanced over to the girl silently debating over whether or not to talk to the poor girl before saying, "Hey."

She jolted. Her voice pitched up several intervals, "Y-y-yes?"

"Why aren't you hanging out with your friends? Or at least trying to befriend someone?"

She deadpanned, to which I had cluelessly raised my eyebrows as if I weren't that "someone".

"W-well, I-I saw Chi-Chinatsu-san leaving the classroom, s-so I decided to follow…" Tanaka stammered.

"Go hang out with Nanami Mio and her entourage or something, I'm sure it'd be more entertaining than being with me." I leaned back in my seat- not even looking the girl in the eyes as I spoke.

A solid minute passed and I could feel Tanaka's eyes boring into me. Until then, she said, "I want to be friends with Chinatsu-san."

My body froze- head slowly clicking in place as if it were an old gear to look at Tanaka. I could barely believe my ears, yet my eyes didn't deceive me.

Tanaka suddenly turned coy with her hand rubbing the back of her nape sheepishly, "A-although, I a-also c-can't handle it w-when there are a lot o-of people…"

I paused, before bursting out laughing to the point I was holding my stomach. Tanaka looked at me confuzzled.

I smiled at her; however, unlike those polite-kind smiles, this was a genuine smile, "Tanaka-san, I have a feeling we are going to be great friends."

Tanaka's cheeks flushed, and I found her staring at me in a daze. I asked, "Is something the matter?"

Tanaka quickly turned away as she realized she was staring. She stammered, "I-it's just…" She glanced over at me as I waited patiently, "C-Chinatsu-san's eyes…th-they're very pretty."

"Oh," I blinked. A grin then plastered on my face, "Thank you." I said bashfully.

My eyes were a rare color: a light shade of green- a jade green. It was uncommon in Japan after all, most people had black hair and eyes. Although because I'm half Japanese and half European, I'm a special case.

My mother is Japanese and was born and raised in Japan, unlike my father who was born and raised in America. He has European blood in his veins though, his father, or my grandfather, was Japanese. Hence, where I get my Japanese last name and green eyes from.

Just as we were finishing up our meals, the first bell rang warning us that lunch was soon to end.

As I stood up, I stretched my back hands interlocked together as I did so. "Mhm, well, let's head back."

"R-right." Tanaka trailed after me as we headed toward the classroom.

The walk back was spent in silence. Although it wasn't like I minded the silence.

We entered the classroom and I locked eyes with Nanami Mio. Her gray eyes glimmered at the sight of us. I, immediately, looked- internally hoping she was looking at something behind us- as I started to make my way to my desk.

"Excuse me!" The girl called out to us, making me stop in my tracks.

I felt Tanaka cling to the back of my uniform as she hid behind me. "Yes?" I responded with a kind-polite smile while facing her.

"You two are Tanaka-san and Chinatsu-san, right?"

"Right." I nodded. Tanaka, too, nodded in agreement.

"I'm Na-"

"Nanami Mio." I interrupted her mid-sentence, "I've heard a lot about you already. Anyways, please excuse us, class is about to start. And I as well as Tanaka-san would like to make our way to our desks. Good day." I bowed my head slightly before heading towards my desk which was in the third row.

Tanaka yelped before scurrying off toward her desk also, leaving Nanami to herself.

I could feel her eyes boring into my back; however, I merely ignored her. Nanami Mio was smart- someone who ranked above everyone. Yet, no one saw her as a nerd nor as arrogant for being above everyone, but rather as a hardworking and dedicated student- a role model.

Why was it that she was surrounded by people for being a role model? Yet, when I had done the same, I was scorned- shunned. What was so different about me and her?


The school bell rang harmoniously throughout the halls. Sensei, who was a kind-looking elderly man, grabbed his papers and said, "Alright, everyone please do not forget about tonight's homework- pages 12 and 14."

Chairs screeched as everyone started to get up and gather their supplies. Tanaka came up to me, her mouth hanging open before closing repeatedly- searching for her words. I patiently waited for her to gather herself whilst I did so myself.

"C-Chinatsu-san!" Tanaka exclaimed.

"Yes, Tanaka-san?" I smiled at her.

I watched her visibly gulp her saliva before holding out her phone to me with her head bowed low. "M-m-may we ex-exhange p-phone n-n-numbers?"

I chuckled before flipping open my phone and tapping our phones together. The phones made a dinging noise- confirming the exchange. At the sound, Tanaka looked up at me with a sparkle in her eyes.

I grin amusedly, "Happy?"

"Y-yes! Th-thank you, C-Chinatsu-san!" Tanaka smiled widely before suggesting, "C-Chinatsu-san, w-would you like to w-walk home to-together?"

"Ah. Sorry, Tanaka-san. I have to go pick up my neighbor's kid, so I can't," I say as I pick up my bag. Tanaka visibly deflates, "However, why don't we plan something on the weekend sometime?"

Tanaka rises, "T-that would b-be nice. A-any time is f-fine with me!"

"Alright. Well, see you tomorrow, Tanaka-san." I waved her goodbye as I walked off.

It was about a three-minute walk from Tohmi Higashi High to the elementary school. Yuzuki, my neighbor's kid, was nine years old. My neighbor, who has been my Mom's best friend since high school, is a kind young woman in contrast to my aloof mother.

I've been picking up and dropping Yuzuki off every single day since she was in Pre-School, which was to pay off the favor that they had been doing my parents by watching over me.

It's been almost six years now since the first time I came to Japan. I used to live in America; however, it was only for a short time. I was just a baby when we moved for business purposes. After all, my family owned- still does- one of the biggest entertainment companies in the world. Yet, I decided to live in Japan after a few years for personal reasons.

I arrive at Yuzuki's school as per usual. A couple of kids stare and whisper as they walk by, but I ignore them as I put on my headphones to listen to music.

As a kid who comes from a family of artists, I love music with a passion. I've learned to play many instruments to a certain degree- my personal favorite being the guitar- and even did plays ranging from musicals to stage plays (although only when I was a kid).

I chuckle to myself as I remembered. Back when I was in elementary school, I had begged my parents to let me join a play so I could brag to my classmates that I was on stage. In the end, I starred in the musical Annie as a minor character who sang in the background.

I felt a tug on my uniform sleeve, and I took off my headphones while turning my attention toward the source. Yuzuki appears at my side with her small tuft of brown hair that stuck up atop her hair.

"Asuka-nee." Her eyes glimmered at me.

I smiled whilst patting the tuft softly, "Hey Yuzuki. Ready?"

Yuzuki was about to speak when someone called out to her, "Chie-san!" A girl- most likely her classmate- called out to her. She looked at me like she was asking for permission.

"Go ahead," I said softly.

Yuzuki ran off towards the latter. I watched as the two conversed. Before the girl opened up her backpack and handed Yuzuki a sheet. Yuzuki looked at the paper curiously before she smiled at the girl and said her goodbyes.

She grabbed my hand as we started to walk away. Curiously, I asked her, "What were you two talking about?"

"Um, Akane-chan was asking me if I wanted to join her club. She said it was called the DIY club," Yuzuki tapped her chin, "it's supposed to stand for 'Do It Yourself!' or something like that."

"That sounds interesting. Are you going to check it out?"

"Maybe. Akane-chan said I could come as a trial member tomorrow." Yuzuki pondered the thought.

I hummed in response. "Ah." I stopped in my tracks realizing

Yuzuki looked at me as I looked at her, "Chie-san asked me to get groceries," An idea came to my head, and I grinned, "How about we get some pudding on the way?" Yuzuki's eyes sparkled as she nodded rapidly.


Yuzuki sat in between my legs as we ate our pudding cups. The TV sounded in the background as an anime show played. It was some magical girl show with multiple versions of it with the same plot yet a different set of characters. This particular anime was about magical girls who sang while the fought.

As the characters on the TV sang, the music rang out cheerfully even in the midst of a rough fight. The three girls were knocked down over and over yet still they got up even when it seemed as if the fight wasn't getting anywhere. Miraculously, in some way they had won the fight by banding together with one final blow.

"Asuka-nee," Yuzuki called out absentmindedly, "do you still play guitar?"

Confuzzled, I replied, "Yes, I do. Why?"

"I never see Asuka-nee play anymore."

I paused, thinking about what Yuzuki said. "I see. I haven't brought my guitar around in a while. I'll play for you sometime. How about that?" Yuzuki smiled at me as she nodded ecstatically.

As we finished our pudding, Yuzuki got up from her seat to throw away the empty cups. The sound of the front door unlocking rang out through the quiet mansion.

The Chie residence, Yuzuki's home, was relatively large and modern compared to the Chinatsu residence which had a traditional japanese style.

"I'm home!" Chie-san, Yuzuki's mother, called out.

There in the doorway stood a woman with long wavy brown hair and similarly colored eyes that had subtle tired bags underneath. She greeted us with a kind smile, and instantly I saw Yuzuki's face light up with a smile.

"Welcome home." The child walked closer to the older woman, waiting for her to take her shoes off to hug her.

She kissed Yuzuki on the forehead before addressing me, "Asuka, how have you been?"

"I've been well," I responded. I've always wondered how my mother and Chie-san were friends. They're both so different.

"That's great. Will you be joining us for dinner?" The woman started making her way towards the kitchen.

"Yes, if you don't mind."

"Of course, of course. Asuka-chan is always welcome. But you know the deal," She grinned slyly, "Next time you're going to cook for us."

I sighed helplessly, "Alright." I couldn't help but smile at her childishness.

"Ah, right. Otou-san said he'd be coming home a bit late, so I'll start cooking right away." Chie-san remarked.

"Oh…" Yuzuki deflated. I patted the girl on the head as an attempt to cheer her up.

After having dinner with the Chie's, I was sent home with leftovers for tomorrow's lunch. The sky was a beautiful ombré of pink to orange, yet even though the sky was bright everything seemed to be so dull.

My feet had subconsciously brought me to the very doorstep of my residence and there stood my empty lifeless house before my eyes. Its old traditional look was in its own way beautiful and among the neighborhood of modern houses, it was unique.

I slid open the door and entered the quiet house. The lights were off as expected and I mumbled under my breath, not expecting any response, "…I'm home…"