"James, I feel ridiculous," Harper grumbled. He simply laughed, clearly unbothered. "I'm serious!"
"I know you are, darlin'."
They would be in New York City for several days that week, as Harper was attending and speaking at a large conference for clinicians in the northeast. They had traveled out early, enjoying the weekend of James showing her around all of the places he had discovered in modern times and explaining what the city was like when he grew up. They had decided to take a late night stroll around Central Park, a staple tourist site Harper had never seen. One offhand comment about needing to remember to wear more sensible shoes later, and the brunette found herself perched on the soldier's back.
He continued to walk down the path, and Harper was vaguely grateful that there weren't many other people willing to brave the cold to walk around the park. She let out a sigh of defeat, deciding she may as well hold on and enjoy the snow dusted scenery. Icicles clung from the bare tree branches, glinting prettily under the glow of the streetlamps along the pathway.
"Don't you hate winter?" she asked. "I wouldn't think this would be fun for you."
"Well, I think I really just hate being cold. It's too much like cryo," James answered with a slight shrug.
"Are you cold?" Harper questioned, worried.
"Not so much. I'm rather enjoying your body heat."
"Ah, so you had ulterior motives for carrying me," she teased.
He chuckled. "Perhaps."
They were silent for a stretch, simply enjoying the fresh air and the occasional crunch of snow beneath a boot. Then James spoke up again, "There are things I can appreciate about winter now, actually."
"Yeah?"
He nodded and glanced over his shoulder at her. "It's peaceful."
Harper leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. She understood how invaluable the calm was to him. She smiled, glad he could find some solace in the wintery scene.
"I've also enjoyed the holidays since we've been able to celebrate together." There was a pause before his tone turned mischievous. "And I still appreciate your winter wardrobe."
Harper had to laugh at that. "You continually surprise me, hun."
"How so?"
"Actually, thinking on what Steve has told me, perhaps it isn't so surprising. It's just odd."
"Wait, what did Steve tell you?"
Harper grinned mischievously. "You sound worried, James."
"Harper," he prompted.
"He just told me about the features you find attractive in women. Steve was rather convinced I – how'd he say it? – checked all your boxes."
His hands beneath her thighs squeezed lightly. "You do."
"Anyway," she brushed him off, "one of the things he listed was dressing modestly, so my winter wardrobe being your favorite actually does make sense."
James hummed appreciatively. "It's so, so sexy, Harper. It's like a constant tease. A peak of skin, or a glimpse at how curvy you are…"
She whispered wickedly, "Don't pop one here in the park, James."
"Shush," he chuckled. "What else did Steve say? What're my boxes?"
"Uhm… not too tall, dark hair, curvy, pretty eyes, full lips," she recalled slowly.
James nodded once. "Well, pretty eyes, yes, but specifically I've always had a thing for gals with unique eye colors."
"Mine are brown – hardly unique," Harper pointed out.
"There's a really pretty, almost reddish tint to them," he argued. "I've never seen eyes your shade of brown. They're beautiful."
"Says the man with strikingly blue eyes."
"Steve got most of the boxes, but he forgot one. Or actually, he probably would've died if he had said it aloud to you."
"What're you talking about?"
"He failed to mention that I have always appreciated a sizable bust. And you've got-"
"James!" Harper cut him off, face flushing hot. The night air breezing across her skin felt even colder in comparison.
He laughed again, his body shaking against her with his amusement. "It's true, doll. I'm a boobs-guy, and yours are fantastic."
She buried her face against his nape. "You're too much."
"There was a time when you made jokes about me getting in your pants and about jerking off as we walked the streets of Bucharest, doll," he pointed out, the grin on his face still evident in his voice.
"Well, that was more about you than me!" Harper protested. "And the chances of passing by someone on the street who could understand what I was saying were slim. Plus, I was really trying to gauge whether you might have any interest in me or if we were totally platonic friends with no chance for more."
"Huh," James exhaled thoughtfully. "We really did miss out on a lot of time together. I was already jerking off thinking about fucking you back then."
"Oh my god," Harper groaned, a mixture of embarrassment at his crassness and frustrated with the implications of his words.
"We promised no more wasting time," he reminded. "Just enjoying our life together."
She nodded. "I know."
"Wanna head home?" he asked. With some hesitation he added, "It is getting a bit cold now."
"Of course," she agreed easily.
"You'll have to keep holding me for body heat," he declared.
With exaggerated exasperation, she repeated, "Of course."
They shared a laugh and changed directions, ready to close out another wonderful day together.
"Dr. Montgomery?"
Harper turned in the direction of the voice that had addressed her. She was waiting outside of the large building the conference was being held in, waiting for James. The last panel she had attended ran short, so she was early getting out. Still unfamiliar with the city, James had insisted that he would walk her to the convention center each morning and pick her up each evening. Part of her was a bit frustrated at the doting behavior, but she appreciated the effort he put in to show how much he cared about her. It was something she had lived without for nearly six years in total and she'd never take it for granted again.
"Hello," Harper greeted the person who had approached her. She was a rather thin middle aged woman with chestnut hair pulled up in a loose knot at the back of her head. Her attire was professional, leading the brunette to conclude that she was another clinician. Something about the way she carried herself led Harper to feel she was a rather no-nonsense person.
"It's nice to put a face to your name," the woman said with a smile. "I'm Dr. Christina Raynor. Nice to meet you."
Harper felt the blood drain from her face. Truthfully, after hearing about the way James had been treated in therapy and after all of the distress it had caused them, she never wanted to meet the woman now standing before her. She really didn't know if she had the necessary self-control.
"And you. Please, call me Harper," she found herself saying politely.
"Christina then," the other woman offered the same courtesy. "I opted to sit in on the panel you were part of this morning. I was surprised to see how many other people attended. Geropsychology isn't exactly the field's most popular branch."
"No, but as more and more Baby Boomers age in, I've noticed more clinicians are recognizing the need to the extend their education to include best practices for treating older adults."
"I've certainly seen an increase in older vets at our office," Christina nodded her agreement. "It was also nice to see a younger clinician on the panel. It gets dull listening to the same stuffy speakers who have been in the field for decades. You still have fresh eyes, a fresh brain, and heaps of compassion."
"I should hope my compassion never dwindles given the nature of our work," Harper replied stiffly. "It's disturbing to think of the damage an unempathetic clinician could do."
If the other therapist picked up on Harper's veiled hostility, she didn't acknowledge it. Instead, she stated, "I'm surprised that you haven't requested a transfer to our Brooklyn facility."
"I have no intentions of leaving Boston anytime soon," Harper replied evenly. She knew she was being baited into providing information about James and she was determined to avoid doing so as much as possible.
"Still, a change of scenery can be good," Christina laughed. "Plus, we serve so many more people; there's more opportunity here, I'd imagine."
"I'm quite happy where I am," Harper shook her head. "My colleagues are wonderful, I enjoy the way our facility is run, and Boston is my city."
"I can understand that," the older woman nodded. "It would certainly take something special to convince me to leave New York."
Again with the bait. Harper paused for a moment before asking, "What other panels did you sit in on today? Did you happen to attend the one on the new CBT protocol for compulsive gambling? It was really quite interesting."
She saw the tiniest hint of a smile quirk the other psychologist's lips before her stoic expression returned and they chatted amicably about the talks they had both attended thus far in the conference. It seemed Christina had gotten the hint and Harper was buzzing with satisfaction.
A familiar male voice called her name and the brunette turned, smiling at James weaving through the crowd to get to her. He wore a smile as well, which faltered only slightly when he noticed who she was speaking with. Nonetheless, he was cheerful as he reached her side.
"Hey, doll," he greeted, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. "How did your talk go?"
"I think it went well," she answered with a nod.
"It was quite interesting," Christina interjected.
James turned to her and greeted, "It's been a while, Dr. Raynor. How have you been?"
"I've been doing well. Smooth sailing since I released my biggest pain of a patient a little while back," the older woman jested.
Harper bristled, but kept her expression neutral. James knowingly wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He nodded at his former therapist and said, "I can imagine how dull things must be for you now."
"Wonderfully," Christina agreed.
"Glad to hear it," the soldier answered simply. "I'd love to hear more, but we actually have dinner plans to run to."
This was news to Harper, but an escape from the conversation at hand was more than welcome. Dr. Raynor frowned and said, "Too bad. Maybe I'll see you around."
"Maybe," James nodded. "Take care, Doc."
"You as well, James. Again, a pleasure to meet you, Harper."
"You, too. Perhaps we'll see each other at future panels. Enjoy your evening, Christina."
The other woman nodded and the couple returned the gesture before setting off down the sidewalk. They had travelled a few blocks before James asked, "How did that go? Before I got there, I mean."
"She was fishing for information about you, but I dodged her bullshit. Also, don't worry; I kept my thoughts on how abysmal a therapist she is to myself."
"Thanks, darlin'," he replied, clearly relieved by her response.
"I promised to respect that boundary."
"I know," James said with a small smile. He leaned down and kissed her temple.
They stopped to wait at a crosswalk. Harper asked, "So… we have dinner plans?"
"Well, sort of. It's a more flexible one than I implied. I just thought we should grab a pizza and head back to the apartment to unwind. I figured you might be tired and stressed after your panel?"
"You know me very well," she grinned up at him, coiling an arm around his middle and tucking herself further into his side as they hastened across the street.
"After so long, I would hope I know a thing or two about you," he chuckled.
"Certainly more than anyone else."
"It's an honor."
Bucky was surprised when there was a knock on the door. He wasn't expecting anyone and he didn't think Harper was, either. Plus, she wasn't even home. The soldier approached the door silently, cautiously leaning in to look through the peephole. To his continued surprise, he saw Jordan standing on the other side of the door.
He turned the lock and opened the door greeting, "Hey, Jordan."
"Hi, James," she said, following him into the apartment.
Bucky eyed the throw blanket and pillows tossed to the floor and thought about the dishes he hadn't yet gotten to in the kitchen sink. "I'm sorry; I didn't know you were coming over. Can I get you a drink or something to eat?"
"No, sorry, I'm literally just showing up. Totally not on you," the young brunette replied.
He noticed that she lacked her usual fiery spirit. "Harper actually isn't home. She ended up staying late at the office to catch up on things after being in New York last week."
"Oh," Jordan frowned, clearly disappointed. Slowly, she asked, "D'you mind if I wait here for her?"
"No, I don't mind," Bucky replied quickly. He wasn't sure what was going on, but far be it from him to kick out his partner's sister. He moved to place the pillows back on the couch and quickly folded the throw blanket. Draping it over the back of the couch, he offered, "Make yourself at home."
"Thanks," she nodded absently, taking a seat on the couch.
Awkwardly, Bucky said, "I was just going to finish up a few things before Harper comes home."
"No need to play host or anything," Jordan assured quickly. "I'll entertain myself."
The dark haired man nodded, still feeling at a loss for what he should do. He did retreat to the kitchen, however, setting about cleaning up the space. He had used the small island as a place to spread out all of his gear and weapons, taking the time to thoroughly clean and check everything for maintenance needs. He hardly thought Harper would want to come home to a spread of weapons and heavy leather combat gear in her kitchen, so he set about gathering everything and taking trips back and forth between the kitchen and their bedroom. Once everything was again settled in his section of their closet and his weapons placed in the safe there, he turned to head back to the kitchen to wipe down all of the countertops.
Passing back through the living room, he glanced at Jordan. She had curled up in the corner of the couch, a throw pillow between her chest and her knees which were pulled inward. Her eyes were glued to her phone. He was still confused about the sudden appearance of Harper's sister. Even as he began taking care of the dishes, he couldn't come up with a reason for it.
Bucky glanced at the clock on the stove, wondering about how much longer it would be until Harper returned home. He lingered in the kitchen, going through the refrigerator and noting that there was really no cleaning to be done there. Procrastinating, he dried and put away all of the dishes rather than leaving them out on the counter to air dry. With nothing left to occupy him, he stole himself and returned to the living room.
He immediately wished he had tried harder to find something else to do in the kitchen. Jordan was in tears, phone still clutched in her hands. His gaze caught the tremors in her fingers. Stupidly, he asked, "Um, Jordan? Are you alright?"
"Jared broke up with me," the younger woman sobbed, throwing her phone across the couch.
Bucky was breathtakingly out of his depth. The reason for Jordan suddenly seeking out her sister's company was now quite obvious and he really wished that Harper had been home. Comforting Harper had always been easy for him, but he was at a loss for what to do for Jordan. He had never met anyone, let alone a young woman, with such a strong, fiery, crude personality.
Stiffly, he sat on the other end of the couch. He offered, "I'm sorry, Jordan."
She wiped at her face and said, "I feel like it came totally out of nowhere! We literally just went on a date over the weekend! I thought we had a good time. He sure seemed to have no problem accepting a blowjob and fucking someone he was about the break up with."
Bucky tried to focus on the bitterness and hurt in her voice rather than the content of her speech. "Shit, Jordan. That's really a fucked up thing to do to someone."
"I just like… I finally settled down with someone. I don't date, but I really, really felt drawn to him. I thought what we had was special, but clearly not." Jordan scowled and added, "I should just go back to one night stands."
"Well, you can do what you want of course, but just because things ended doesn't mean what you and Jared had wasn't special while you had it," Bucky said gently. "If the relationship made you feel special, if you were happy, what happened now doesn't retroactively change that."
"Not worth it," she snapped. "Not if things end and I have to feel like this."
He reached out tentatively and patted her knee in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. "It won't hurt forever."
"Sure, sure," she rolled her eyes, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "You found your forever relationship, so…"
Bucky couldn't help but bristle slightly at the angry dismissal. Forcing himself to remain calm, he said, "It certainly wasn't easy to get to this point."
"I'm not trying to minimize all the shit you've been through," Jordan replied, trying to scrub at her eyes again.
"Well, but I wasn't really talking about all that," he shook his head. "I meant I have dated a lot. When I was younger, I dated constantly. I never met someone I thought I could be with until Harper. And it's not like our years together have been painless. But that doesn't make all the great times we've had together any less so. Relationships, even the ones that are good, have issues."
"Okay, but you never thought you had found your right one and then got your ass dumped," Jordan argued.
"I'm not competing with you, Jordan," he sighed. More gently, he added, "I'm really sorry that you're hurting right now. And I'm sorry that the future you were excited for isn't going to come to fruition."
"This shit is too fuckin' messy and complicated," Jordan pouted, another round of tears beginning. "I just have to be done."
"Don't lose hope," Bucky protested. "You never know what can happen. Trust me."
The young brunette scoffed and rolled her eyes again. Bucky frowned and insisted, "Look, if someone as wonderful as your sister could randomly meet a former brain-washed assassin partway across the world and love can grow between them - even despite being forced apart so many times - then a caring, outgoing gal like you is bound to find someone who fits. None of us know when or in what form good things in life will come. But they do come."
"I guess the odds of two Americans from such totally different backgrounds meeting and making shit happen in Romania must've been really low," Jordan allowed. Her lip trembled before she said, "Okay, so maybe it's dramatic to lose all hope. But I still feel like shit. And normally I'd go to Natalie, but I still can barely talk to her after everything she did."
Bucky frowned. He hadn't thought that there might be another layer to the brunette's distress. He had thought it natural for the younger sister to seek out her older sister at a time like this, but thinking on it harder, it should have struck him as odd. It had always been clear that Natalie and Jordan were much closer to each other than either was to Harper. They were a nearly inseparable unit and Harper had appeared rather left out at times. That Jordan had lost that close connection must have been hard, and even more so now.
"I'm sorry, Jordan," the soldier said again, at a loss for what to do. He felt woefully ill-equipped, missing the words to comfort her.
She sniffled and rubbed her eye with rough fingers. "But I'm grateful to have Harper still. And my new big bro. Kinda cool finally having a brother."
His chest warmed at the sentiment, as did his cheeks. Noticing his reaction, Jordan was uncharacteristically gentle and asked, "Sorry, should I not say things like that?"
"It's okay," Bucky answered with a quick shake of his head. "Just… different hearing that I have a family again."
"I can't imagine. I came back from the Blip and didn't have a grandmother anymore. And one of my sisters feels like a stranger. Still, she's here though. For you…"
Bucky simply nodded, swallowing against the lump of grief rising in him. The loss of his family was a dull ache he didn't think would ever go away. At least he had said some sort of a goodbye before he was shipped off to war.
"You had siblings?" Jordan questioned.
The brunet nodded. "I had a younger brother and two younger sisters."
"You miss them," she stated, clearly seeing the hurt in his expression. "Sorry. I didn't mean to bring you down in the dumps with me."
"It's alright," he assured. "Part of me is relieved none of them had to live to see what ended up happening to me. They all got to live their lives believing their brother was a war hero. I hope they were all happy and fulfilled."
"They must've had kids? Maybe you could-?"
Bucky cut her off with another shake of his head. "Things have been too complicated. I think that's a door that needs to stay closed. If one of them comes to me, fine. But I can't knock on that door in case I'm not welcomed through it."
Jordan nodded slowly, turning over his words. "That makes sense. Well… the Montgomery family door is wide open for you. Our father adores you, and I'll happily consider myself little sister number three if you'll give me the title."
Bucky chuckled. "The title is all yours, Jordan. It might take some time to remember how to do the big-brother-thing."
"I'd say you've already been doing a good job," Jordan answered kindly. She shifted, tucking her knees beneath her and leaning across the space between them to wrap him up in a hug. Bucky stiffened for a moment before returning the gesture, warmth rising behind his sternum again. From beside his ear, he heard a sniffle. Jordan said, "Hey, bro, mind if I cry over being dumped some more? The hug is bringing the tears out again."
Bucky patted her back lightly and assured, "I don't mind."
And so, Harper returned home to her sister ranting about her ex-boyfriend into the shoulder of a soldier who was simultaneously uncomfortable and glowing with the chance to be the protective big brother again.
A/N: I'm the worst with all these long breaks between uploads. I am so sorry to anyone who has been waiting on the continuation of this story. My intention isn't to leave this hanging; the story will definitely be finished regardless of my apparent inability to be consistent or scheduled. Apologies again, and I do truly, truly appreciate everyone who is still here.
