"Owner of a Lonely Heart"
May 2,1983
(Song suggestion "Owner of a Lonely Heart" by Yes)
Lucy
Arriving in the Firehouse at eleven in the morning in a short-sleeved floral dress, I found Ray and Peter looking haggard. They appeared like they hadn't slept all night as they sat silent in the latter's office. Both had dark circles underneath their eyes and unshaven jawlines. Dr. Venkman gave me an approving smirk when he saw how I was dressed, but that was just because he was a huge flirt.
"What the hell happened to you two," I demanded, my hands on my hips with my eyes narrowing.
"Egon had alcohol poisoning and we had to go to the hospital at two in the morning," my brother sadly remarked, " The doctor's recommended that he stay for the night to rehydrate."
Perplexed, my mouth dropped agape, and immediately I inquired, " Is Egon OK?"
"Yes, Thank God," Ray admitted, appearing relieved", "he will be released later in the early evening."
"Is this because Spengler broke up with Janine, or did something else happen," I pryingly investigated, lowering myself in a chair next to my brother.
Although I was furious with the brainiac for wounding my friend from Brooklyn, I didn't wish any harm as he was my brother's friend. I stared at the two sloppily dressed men until they began speaking.
"Oh, I see that Janine told you," Peter answered wryly, " we do not know exactly, but yes, I think so. Egon took the afternoon off, which was the first warning sign, yesterday, but after that, we don't have much information."
"That's not like Egon," I exclaimed, mystified. Swiftly, I picked up my purse and found a rubber band to put my straight brown hair in a ponytail as it was pretty thick and produced heat on my neck. Although it was only May, New York City was warming up quickly, and I didn't like to sweat.
"You can't tell Janine that this happened," I insisted, still surprised by the situation, "She will worry, and she is already both grief-stricken and enraged at our deal theoretical physicist."
"Agreed," my brother commented with a nod.
" Let's alter Janine's days off, give her tomorrow off, to adjust," Peter thoughtfully advised, and he scribbled on a sticky note to call her.
"I can't work her shift," I cautioned, becoming anxious, "Ray, we have to go see our Uncle Thomas in Canada tomorrow, we already made plans ."
"Yes, I know. Can you persuade one of your groupies to answer the phones tomorrow, Venkman?" Ray requested, wide eyed.
"Sure, I will start calling 'my groupies' after you call our secretary and inform her of the schedule change," Peter sassily remarked after my brother's comment and he winked his right eye at me. Disregarding his comment, I searched for a piece of gum in my backpack.
Rising from my chair, I went to my friend's desk to put my backpack away. I brought some books to study for my upcoming final exams next week because there wasn't much more to say about Egon. My brother called Janine to inform her of the change in schedule, and I unpacked some of my notebooks on the desk. Peter and Ray went upstairs afterwards.
Egon
Like a half-beaten, half-dead mouse that the cat dragged into the house, I returned to HQ after the ER around seven the next evening. Although the IVs had rehydrated me, the experience had numbed me for the time being. I agreed with my earlier decision not to use alcohol to fill the void of anger or melancholy or consume in large amounts.
"Have I lost my mind?" I wondered.
If insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result, wasn't I exhibiting it with Janine?
My irateness with Peter over the decision to train Janine still threatened to erupt over like a geyser drilling for oil, and I still hadn't forgiven him. However, I could not condemn him for my separation from Janine because that was my decision.
"Lucy? Why are you here," I questioned as I walked towards Janine's desk, dismayed not to see our red-headed secretary. Ergo, I stopped in front of her desk.
"Filling in for Janine, why else," Lucy angrily quipped, giving me a dirty look.
"Oh," I muttered, not thinking about how my ex would be affected.
"Did you think that Janine would be here the day after you dumped her?" the younger Stantz incredulously commented.
"Uhm, I-I-I," I stammered, noticing that Lucy glared at me in a most agitated way. She was closer to Janine than me so it wasn't a surprise she defended my ex.
"Egon, you just lost the best thing that happened to his life, I hope you realize that. I'm going to ensure she finds a man ten times better than you," Lucy madly declared.
Quietly, I turned around and went toward the stairs. I didn't have a response, but it was best that Janine wasn't here, probably. Lucy kept on speaking as I ascended the stairs, but I couldn't hear it clearly.
"Peter, we have to talk," I grumbled after both of my business members inquired about the recovery of my health.
First, a lingering headache infiltrated my head, so I went to retrieve a glass of water from the kitchen to take the pain-alleviating medicine we stored there. The doctor gave me a low dose of sleeping medication to turn off my mind at night, and I already picked up that prescription. He then recommended that I make an appointment with my therapist to begin anti-anxiety medicine.
Nevertheless, I knew my friend, the psychiatrist, completed that task for me. After ingesting my pain reliever, I went into the landing where Peter sat, ready to discuss.
"I still blame you for what happened to Janine," I accused, sitting in the lazy boy recliner.
"All I did was encourage her because our caseload expanded. Janine wasn't hurt because of the equipment on the case because she didn't have a proton pack on her back. She became frightened and she tripped," my oldest friend with thinning brown hair replied, in all seriousness for once.
"Brooklyn had to unlock the trap. Your anger is erroneous," Venkman surmised after a pause.
"Are you saying that it's Janine's fault," I yelled, my blood pressure rising and my head pulsating in pain.
"No, Egon, it isn't. It was an accident," Ray interrupted, putting the newspaper down.
"The big problem is that you let your common sense about the situation succumb to the ridiculous guilt you choose to carry on your shoulders," Peter poignantly concluded.
Exhaling noisily, I stood and paced around the room back and forth the way I do when I have a problem to solve. Venkman lit up a cigarette, and a cloud of smoke wafted over towards me.
"Melnitz spent two and a half weeks trying to persuade you of that fact until you wigged out on her and broke up with her. That was a huge miscalculation," Peter heatedly pointed out to me, and he emphasized the word huge.
"How can I be with her if I can't protect her, Venkman? Tell me," I fiercely demanded, my face flushing in anger as I ceased pacing.
"Janine loves you, Spengs, isn't that enough," Ray butted in rudely, " and you love her."
"But you ended it with her. When Janine falls in love with someone else, it is going to destroy you, I'm afraid," Peter predicted, standing from his seat and striding to my location.
Venkman and I were the same height, so we eyed each other for a long beat before I dejectedly admitted with a clenched jaw,
" Tell me, Mr. Psychiatrist, should I persist in breaking Janine's heart by my inability to recuperate from my misconduct by avoiding her?" I hissed sarcastically.
"I am going to the lab to work, Peter, I want to hear your brilliant answer to my conundrum later," I stated.
Ray
"What the hell are you doing, provoking Iggy? The ER just released him, and you are trying to get underneath his skin. Do you think this is a good idea," I condescendingly inquired after Spengler shut the lab's door boisterously.
"He's the one who came in here picking a fight with me," Venkman defended himself. He lifted his cigarette to his lips and inhaled deeply.
"I don't think a yelling match with Egon will help him, Pete," I responded drily.
"I want him to contemplate his decision before Brooklyn decides it is over for good," Peter shouted at me.
"Didn't you hear J yesterday? It is already over! You and I have been continually cautioning him that Janine would be pissed off with him if he persists in acting this way, with this "on and off" stuff. Now Iggy has yet to deal with the consequences," I replied bitterly.
"What do you think Egon will be like without Janine, Stantz," Venkman angrily howled, pausing before continuing.
"Or when she begins to date or if she falls in love with someone? It won't be like before she entered our lives because he's grown as a person because of HER. It's going to take 'the wind out of his sail,' so to speak, and Iggy will stagnate then fall flat on his ass."
"We have done our due diligence with Spengs," I firmly stated, walking away from the conversation. " It's not that I don't care because I do too much. However, I am at a loss at what to do. I was also exhausted by Egon's poor choices with Janine, and I am exhausted to see her hurt by him."
"Me too, Ray, me too," Peter slowly admitted in a solemn voice unlike his own.
That effectively ceased our conversation for the evening as we all went our separate ways that night. Peter had a date with the mystery woman, and I agreed to go on a blind date with one of Lucy's sorority sisters that I didn't have high hopes for.
"Lucy, you can leave, thanks for covering for Janine," I announced at eight evening after I had gotten ready for my date.
"You are welcome, big brother," she sweetly said, "good luck with your date. I am going dancing at the rooftop club in Queens with mine in a couple of hours."
Peter
My third date with Lucy was wild, and I was extremely fatigued when I returned to the firehouse. We started dancing at a popular rooftop bar in Queens, drinking and heavily flirting with each other. However, we ended up having hot sex at her apartment a couple of times in the night.
Lucy was an enthusiastic and energetic partner and she enjoyed screwing about as much as I did. Plus, Ray strongly dissuaded me from pursuing Lucy for all of these years' added intensity.
Yawing, I strolled in, forgetting that Janine would not be in today. I think our day was open, from what I recalled, but I logged on to her computer and printed our schedule.
Iggy read the paper and ate breakfast without reacting to my appearance. They were used to me not returning from my nocturnal activities with women the same night. I dropped off the form at the table before going into my room to shower.
When I returned after removing last night's activities from my body, I poured a cup of coffee into a gray mug from the top cabinet's shelf.
"Good morning," I greeted, sitting down at the table, and Iggy grunted a response as he was busy sketching a new idea for an innovation.
"Hello, Peter," Ray mumbled, appearing hungover and a little green in the gills.
"How did your date go," I mischievously inquired, knowing that Lucy paired her poor brother with someone that wasn't his type at all. She informed me that she wanted to help him get laid and that one of her sorority sisters should do the trick.
"Ohhhh. All Rebecca wanted to do was get drunk. I am past that point in my life," he declared animatedly, "so we drank all night. Man, that girl can drink!"
"Did you get any?"
Spengler suspired noisily, causing Ray to peer up at him in surprise until he irritatedly tore the paper out and balled it up before throwing it in the trash can.
"I can't get the specs right, Ray, and it's pissing me off," he said, irked, removing his glasses from his face and putting them on the table. He began to rub his temples with his fingers.
"Fascinating," I smugly commented on his use of swear words, and he gave me a murderous glare that threw poisonous daggers like a skilled ninja.
"We will get it, Iggy. I'm afraid I won't be much help until I can get this headache gone," Ray admitted, standing up to put his dishes in the sink. He padded into the bathroom to retrieve some aspirin and then returned to the table. I questioned him again about his sexual activities last night with his date.
"No, Venkman, just a wild drunken make-out session. However, I almost had a threesome," Stantz informed, wryly, with a smile.
"Really," I inquired, my curiosity piqued as I had never had one. Still, as a typical red-blooded man, I always wanted to participate in one with two girls.
"You don't almost have a threesome, you either have one, or you don't," Egon replied, his feathers ruffled as he began a new sketch.
"How do you know," Ray wryly asked, viewing him like he had been a small child caught lying to his parents.
Spengler's pale face turned light pink, but he replied, "Beth."
"Who," Stantz asked immediately.
"Beth? My friend, the Biology graduate student I set you up with years ago," I incredulously asked, my mouth dropping agape.
"Yes," Egon flatly answered, keeping his head down and focusing on his illustration.
Ray and I exchanged dubious glances and prodded our socially awkward friend why inquiring, "with two girls?"
Tilting his head towards me, Spengs nodded curtly and affirmed, "Yes, Venkman, with girls. I don't have sex with men."
Iggy's emphasis on the word girls made Ray laugh, and his general cluelessness to the awesomeness of this rare phenomenon caused me to chuckle before I questioned him for details.
"Spengs participated in a threesome," I thought incredulously.
"It was the last time that Beth and I had 'relations' so to speak before she went off to medical school," Spengler reluctantly described. His face turned a brighter shade of red as he spoke. We stared at him until he offered an explanation.
" It was her idea, not mine. Beth was curious and brought this redhead co-ed to my apartment, and we... you know..."
"How was it," I inquired anxiously.
"Awkward at first and at the end, but it...Ahem...did satisfy my...Uhm, 'scientific curiosity' about threesomes, but I don't desire to participate anymore," Egon shyly responded.
"If Janine offered to have sex with another woman and you, you would say no," I instigated dubiously.
"No, I don't want to share Janine with anyone. She's...Uhm...was...Ahem... mine," Iggy angrily answered, turning redder again.
Ray and I were on the edge of the seats awaiting details when the phone rang, and our theoretical physicist quietly rose from his seat to answer it.
"Good Morning, Ghostbusters," Egon greeted, picking up the phone and turning his body away from us.
"Do you think he's lying," Ray whispered to me, lighting up a cigarette.
"Egon? No, he isn't a liar," I refuted immediately.
" I know Beth had a couple of short relationships with women before I set her up with Iggy, but that she preferred men. She and I both dated a scorching buxom blonde named Sunshine, but not at the same time."
"Sunshine?"
"You will be here on a Monday for a Chemistry conference over the weekend," Egon repeated into the phone, " What time is your flight?"
Patiently, we waited for Iggy to get off the phone with his parents, Drs. David and Dianne Spengler, chemistry professors from a prominent university in Ohio.
"Yeah, her real name was Agatha Carina Bledsoe," I explained, " I heard that she settled down in Boston and had a couple of young children. Sunshine could screw-like no one's business. Whew!"
"Not unlike your sister," I thought as Ray unexpectedly waited for details, so I provided him with some information about my exploits with the former Ms. Bledsoe afterward.
"My parents will be here in two weeks," Egon forlornly announced, hanging up the phone and head as he walked back to the kitchen table, "No doubt to meet Janine."
"Let me guess; you didn't tell David and Dianne that you broke it off with her?" I asked.
Grimly, Egon shook his head and flopped down in his chair in a huff.
"Great! I love your parents; they are swell people," Ray eagerly stated with a grin on his round face.
He exhaled the cigarette smoke above Egon's head and then put it out in the nearest ashtray. Spengs remained silent, but I could tell he was listening. I motioned for Ray to hand me the ashtray.
"You asked me yesterday if I had a solution to the situation, Spengs," I remarked, tapping my cigarette on the ashtray to remove the excess ash.
" and I don't have one. You are in a no-win situation, and you are determined to be miserable."
Iggy's head was still bent down, focused on his illustration, but he had ceased drawing. Iggy was reciting something to himself as I watched his lips move, and I noticed that his hand trembled. As a result, I felt poorly for him as I could see that he struggled with controlling his emotions.
" I know it isn't your fault for training Janine," Egon forlornly revealed, "but I wish you would have listened to me about my concerns. Janine's safety is...Uhm...was my responsibility."
"Do you forgive me though, Iggy," I honestly wondered, " or are you still going to resent me?"
"I'm working on letting that go, Peter. However, I can't forgive myself for Janine's accident," he stated, "and I have tried, believe me."
"What are we going to do about Janine?"
" Excuse me," my wavy haired friend questioned, baffled. He truly didn't know what I meant.
"Janine is likely to quit now after this latest split from you," Ray answered exasperated before I could .
"Do you think so," Egon asked, with a clueless expression on his face. For such a brilliant man, he was so dense sometimes.
"Yes, Spengs, get your head out of the clouds here or out of your ass is more appropriate," Ray annoyedly replied.
"Well, you pushed Janine out of your personal life, but we also are going to lose her professionally. Didn't you think about that," I exclaimed animatedly.
Raising his head from his diagram, Egon viewed me with another blank expression.
Egon
Peter brought an complicated point to my attention- would Janine leave the company since we split up? Granted, it would be unwieldy for a time.
When Janine began dating others, I would probably have a deep depression. The pain I have caused her with my withdrawal was already excruciating and tearing me up inside. Also, the burden of guilt from my nonaction made it almost unbearable, and in some ways, I felt like I was at my wit's end. I was happy that Peter had made an appointment with my psychiatrist because I needed help.
"No, is Janine leaving the company," I finally admitted with a sorrowful sigh, " I have made a mess of things haven't I?"
"You haven't made it easy on yourself, Spengler, or her or even us for that matter," Peter conceded, "and to be completely honest with you, I am over the drama. I had hoped that your relationship with Janine would go smoothly, but you know what, Iggy?"
Shrugging my shoulders, I listened. The tension in my shoulders increased, and I felt a dull aching there.
"You are self-destructive when it comes to your happiness, and I made an appointment for you to see your therapist this afternoon. Somehow you have to figure out what is behind this behavior," Venkman summarized.
"Yes, I agree," I muttered, using my right hand to release the tension in my right shoulder.
"We were going to lose Janine when she graduates, but now it may be coming much quicker. That means damage control time- I promise to try NOT to provoke her. Ray, you two get along fine, so that won't be a problem, but Egon, I have no idea how she will react to you on Monday. She was mad as a hornet yet emotionally wrecked when she came looking for you yesterday. Janine didn't cry as much as I thought she might. For everyone's safety, we will keep you away from her as much as possible," the man with thinning brown hair suggested. With finality, my friend stated,
" It will be a great loss when we lose Janine, whether it is to graduation or Egon."
"Indeed," I sadly whispered.
Janine
Everyone from my best friend to my sister expressed their reluctance for me to return to work, but their concerns were unfounded.
I determinedly went to work as if Egon Spengler didn't exist or wasn't one of my bosses. My irritation and hurt had reached my maximum level, and I privately handed Peter my two-week notice.
"Damn it; I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, Janine. We need you here. You are invaluable to us, but I understand your reasoning for quitting. Is there anything I can do to change your mind, In all seriousness?"
Shaking my head, I didn't respond right away because I was contemplating the question while I looked at my charm bracelet, touching the heart-shaped one.
"Just keep Dr.Spengler away from me. I don't care what you have to tell him, but he needs to go through you or Ray if he needs something from me, professionally, for these two weeks," I coldly said.
Like a protective older brother, Dr. Venkman hugged me and promised that he would.
