Chapter 17
Bella
Finally, Alice was back.
I hugged her and the others did the same.
As we sat on the sofa, I would have loved to jump up and down. I was so excited. I was so curious.
I looked at her with a beaming smile.
Both of them, of course.
Rose and Esmé were in no way inferior to me.
And then ... I saw THEM. Two ... rings... No, they didn't do that! Did they? ... Did they?
I looked at Rose. She just looked at me uncomprehendingly. My eyes went back to the rings. Rose followed my gaze. She gasped.
Good. Then I didn't imagine anything. Hallucinations? No. All real.
Esmé blinked for a moment and then she understood too and collapsed theatrically on the sofa.
Carlisle waved with his hand at her for air.
She moaned and whined to herself.
"Guys! What's the matter? I'm not a Vulcan! I can't do mind melds. Now say already. Go. Come on! Now, come on! Explain ..."
"Emmett, shut your mouth!", Rose silenced him.
"But I don't understand anything either."
My Honey Bunny looked perplexed.
Men. No empathy. Their powers of observation are also limited to ... what do I know ... cars or crisp butts of pretty women.
I patted his hand.
"Recon coming right up, Honey Bunny."
He nodded and exercised patience.
"Alice ... Jasper ... Statement ... Immediately ... But pronto!"
Rose got up and stood in front of the two.
But Alice and Jasper did not lose their cool.
They looked at each other. Smiled. A kiss. Another smile and another kiss. A handshake ...
Rose growled dangerously.
"Don't try my nonexistent patience."
Another kiss. So guys, really. I wouldn't mess with a pregnant irritable, maybe hungry rose. Highest danger of death.
"Yeah yeah. It's alright. Sit down Rose and we'll tell you or explain it to you. Okay?"
Alice smiled at her without fear.
Boy, is she brave.
Rose was mollified and walked backwards, not taking his eyes off her, to her seat and sat down.
"So ... how do you want me to start?"
She looked at her HUSBAND and he looked at his WIFE.
"It's best to start from the beginning. After I met my cowboy here - I just say 'love at first sight' - we talked on the phone and saw each other every day."
That was news to me. Was I that inattentive? The one with the phone ... yes, but seen everyday ... no. But when I look at the others, probably not.
Rose's eyebrows touched in the middle.
Emmett's eyes were wide.
Carlisle smiled knowingly.
That miserable rotten traitor.
Esmé was still shocked, and my Honey Bunny still had no enlightenment.
"Two halves of a whole," Jasper purred, kissing Alice lightly on the lips.
"Exactly."
Alice now kissed Jasper on the lips.
My patience shriveled up like an apple - to the size of a raisin.
A very small raisin.
"Stop with the smooching! I want to know this now."
The way Emmett looked, he would grab Alice in a moment and shake her hard so she would finally start talking.
He has my support.
"As I said, we belong together. That was clear to both of us right away."
Another kiss.
Rose growled again.
"So we decided, why wait longer than necessary. I planned everything together with Jasper and, of course, executed it." Now she looked at Edward and me. "I'm not going home again. I'm staying here ... with Jazzie. I'll have my things sent to me."
I nodded; I could already guess that.
The two are so much in love. I could not be angry.
With an uncharacteristic squeal, I jumped into Alice's arms and tears rolled down my face. I sniffled.
"I congratulate you and wish you all the best ..."
Jasper also got a hug.
"Um ... Bella?" My Honey Bunny was still looking at me cluelessly. "Why are you making such a fuss, and all just because the two just moving in together?"
Yes, he was sometimes not the fastest.
"Move in together? Just? Ed, man, where do you have your eyes? Married! They're married! Capisce?"
Emmett rolled his eyes and shook his head.
I looked at Edward and he looked me in the eye and then at the newlywed couple and back again. Back to the two of them and then FINALLY Emmett's words sunk in right, and his eyes got as big as saucers.
No, that would also still be too small. Cake plate would be better. Exactly. Oversized pie plates.
"Jasper, buddy! Congratulations ... and to you, too, of course, Alice."
He hugged them both. His surprise was clearly visible.
Esmé was silent all the time.
Too quiet. Strange.
Now the couple was pressed and hugged for all it was worth.
I dashed into the storeroom and fetched a bottle of champagne that I had once received as a gift. It was full of dust.
Quickly cleaned and glasses fetched. Done.
I pressed the bottle into Carlisle's hand.
"Open."
I was still slightly angry with him because he hadn't said anything. But I could understand him.
The glasses clinked and a toast was made to the bride and groom.
Then the big chatter and the questioning started. They had to justify themselves to us.
I was so happy for the two of them. Even if I personally found it a bit fast. But to each his own.
We laughed and Ah-ten and Oh-ten as Alice told us about the wedding in LAS VEGAS.
Imagine that … Las Vegas. Without words. It was a normal wedding - without Elvis or Tom Jones. Alice would never have let that happen.
They explained to us how they had planned everything.
"I would have loved to see you as a bride! I bet you looked stunning."
Esmé sniffled with emotion when she finally regained her speech.
"Oh ... don't worry. We had pictures taken. They'll send them to us, then you can marvel at me. Jasper looked stunning in his suit, too."
Alice's gaze glazed over.
A kiss and another one. Yes, yes, newly in love and then also newly married. I would never be like that. Never. It's embarrassing, all that smooching and turtling.
Edward gave me a little kiss and another.
How I love his soft lips. I could not stop myself from kissing him again.
Edward purred.
Oh ... and how I love this sound first. It sends little tingling shivers down my spine.
Esmé took Alice and Jasper to task and gave them tips on how to conduct a marriage properly.
Inwardly, I was glad that she had found another victim and wasn't constantly bugging me about grandchildren and weddings.
"Oh Bella, Honey. Look at the two of them. Edward, you too." She looked at my Honey Bunny with raised eyebrows. "They got married and you? Nothing. No grandchildren and no wedding. Shame on you for making me wait so long. By the time I should finally hold a grandchild in my arms, I'll be old and gray."
"Don't worry, Mom. You'll have your grandchildren and a wedding."
He smiled reassuringly at his mother.
"Grandchildren? Several? You didn't tell me that! Oh Carlisle, lots of grandchildren. Imagine if we had to take care of a whole bunch. Three or four or six."
Three? Four? Six?
My eyes darted to Edward.
His facial features had completely slipped away. What had he just unleashed?
Esmé bounced up and down, clapping her hands together in rapture.
Oh yes, I am so delighted too.
My Honey Bunny shrugged his shoulders and looked at me apologetically. He hadn't done it on purpose, I knew that. He got a little kiss.
"So, you two." I looked at the newlyweds. "Then I don't see you that much either. Jasper lives pretty far out."
"Guess what, Bella. Jazzie bought a house a few weeks ago, just a few blocks away. We're going to be neighbors, so to speak."
She was jumping up and down excitedly and clapping her hands.
Today was the 'gossip and bounce' day.
"You didn't tell me anything, Jasper."
Edward looked at him accusingly.
Jasper smiled graciously.
"Four months ago I had a dream that I really need to buy a house. With you guys in the neighborhood, if possible. The whole thing stuck with me, so I bought a house. You never know."
Alice beamed at him and said, "Providence."
And kissed him.
Oh guys, get a grip on yourselves.
My Honey Bunny seemed pleased, and I was happy that Alice would stay with me.
Well, then just at Jasper's, it's almost the same. I could visit her every day, or she could visit me.
"Emmett. Listen to this. Now Alice is already living here. I want to move here too, and if I can, the day before yesterday."
Rose put on her begging-look and Emmett smiled at her.
"Sure, baby. We can do that. We already thought about that. Remember? A few days ago, when we were in bed at night, that new ..."
Rose blushed.
Rosalie McCarty and blushing? Honestly, guys, I've never seen that before.
"Yes Emmett." She covered his mouth, "I vaguely remember. You don't have to go into detail about that now. No one cares about that."
Well, interested I would be, but I don't think I want to know either. Emmett and Rosalie naked? No, I don't want to know, and I don't want to see that.
Goosebumps spread on my arms.
Yikes!
"Alice honey, have you thought about having a child? Or more than one?", Esmé beamed at her.
With grandchild or grandchildren, so to speak, you could lure them.
Really, Esmé. They just got married and met each other. They're not thinking about children yet.
Inwardly, I shook my head.
"Sure Esmé. Planning is in full swing."
She grinned at Esmé.
Were there only traitors in this house?
Esmé slowly turned to us, and I became smaller and smaller.
My Honey Bunny hid behind me.
Another traitor.
My mind was racing.
"If I'm not a GRANDMA in a year ... God have mercy on you! I will personally make sure I become one." She poked Edward on his chest and me she looked at. "Bella ... Honey. I'm serious about this. Don't think I'm joking. I will not and will not wait any longer. Understand?"
We were so screwed.
We both nodded in sync.
Emmett laughed and I gave him a murderous look. But it had no effect. He only laughed louder.
Another traitor.
"What do you mean by 'in full swing'?", I looked at Alice questioningly.
You wouldn't now, would you? Would you?
"Just as I said. Pill is in the trash can and planning along with execution is in full swing."
She was beaming with the sun.
"You see, Edward, ALL are going to have children. Rose is already pregnant, Alice soon too and you two, you dilly dally and make me wait."
Esmé sobbed and sought comfort in Carlisle's arms.
What kind of movie have I landed in? Baby Alarm?
"Yes people. Make kids. Lots of kids. I am on hand with help and advice for you," Emmett said. He looked at Edward. "I can give you tips on how best to put HIM in, that it will be a boy or a girl. Any way you want."
That's not what he said now?
My Honey Bunny was behind me already no longer to see, so small he had made himself.
Emmett rubbed his hands together.
"Well, stud, if you're going to get your doodle ..."
Edward and I interrupted him at the same time.
"No, Emmett!"
I didn't want to hear advice. Not from Emmett or anyone else. NO ADVICE!
Finally my Honey Bunny said something.
"Let it go, Emmett. I can handle this without you."
Yes, he would. One hundred percent.
"I wouldn't want you to hit the wrong hole! I'm happy to help."
This is all getting out of hand. The best thing for me to do is pack our things and we'll go on vacation for a few years. When we get back, the whole thing will have calmed down.
"No, Emmett! No tips or advice of any kind. Got it?"
I looked at him in despair.
He thought about it, grinned, and said, "Okay!"
That was all. But I didn't believe that was all. We were in trouble. No, trouble was an understatement. Shit, I whispered in my mind. That was the right word for what was happening here.
"I have to agree with Emmett, Honey. Quite by accident, I have an herbal blend with me that is extra for women who want to have a baby. Isn't that great? A friend gave it to me. I'll make you a quick tea."
Esmé looked at me and Alice.
Coincidentally! Don't make me laugh. Who knows what other little helpers she has in her suitcase.
She went upstairs to her room and came beaming back down the stairs with a can in her hand and disappeared into the kitchen.
"Honey Bunny?", I whispered. "What are we going to do now?"
I looked at him in despair.
"No idea. Practice, maybe?"
He grinned and I punched him in the ribs. He was still grinning.
"I'm serious about this. What are we going to do?"
My despair grew.
I could already see Esmé locking us in the bedroom and saying, 'Make grandchildren!'.
"So, my children. Here is the tea."
She placed a cup of steaming tea in front of Alice and me, which stank abominably. I wrinkled my nose.
"Let it steep for a few more minutes and then drink it in small sips. It must be drunk hot."
She patted my shoulder and watched me the whole time to make sure I was doing everything right.
Super. Simply super!
"Carlisle? On Sunday you will fly back home alone and get everything underway for us to move here. Immediately! I'll stay here and find us a house in the neighborhood. I'll make sure that the dissolute lifestyle of the two is over."
She crossed her arms in front of her chest.
Dissolute lifestyle? Us?
"Sure Esmé. I figured as much and called Garrett. He's selling our house."
She beamed at him.
"That's wonderful."
She kissed him and smiled into the round.
"But Mom, isn't that a little hasty."
Edward looked at his mother in despair.
"No, baby. It isn't. No more arguments - and you Bella, drink your tea or I'll make you another."
Well-behaved I sipped my tea.
We have landed in hell - with no prospect of redemption.
Emmett chuckled to himself and wiggled his eyebrows as he looked at us.
Really super. Having Esmé and Emmett breathing down your neck can't be worse than hell. Right now, I would prefer hell. By a wide margin.
"Don't forget your tea, honey."
Esmé's words of warning penetrated my consciousness. I smiled at her and slurped on.
Esmé, Alice and Rose were talking about which diaper was the best and I whispered to my Honey Bunny, "Oh Edward, I won't survive this."
I got a little kiss.
"What am I supposed to say! Emmett will shower me with advice I don't want to hear."
I could not suppress a little chuckle.
This could still be interesting.
"YOUR TEA, HONEY!"
I quickly slurped on.
If I was cooperative, she might let go of me again and devote herself to Alice.
After a while, Esmé got up abruptly and went upstairs. Smiling, she came back down and snuggled into Carlisle's arms.
"And, my boy, are you happy that your mother is staying?"
Carlisle looked at his son with a grin.
"Yes Dad," was all he replied.
I knew they wanted to move here - but right now. They could have waited a few more years.
"Oh ... my baby. I'm looking forward to it. We can do something every day and I can help you plan for the wedding. We're going to turn a guest room into a nursery. That's so great, Carlisle. I'm so excited. And baby, we'll see each other every day, I've missed that so much."
Esmé would probably not take off her glow for the next few weeks.
Thereby I was really looking forward to Sunday. Finally alone again. Farewell, privacy. Farewell, tranquility. Farewell, togetherness. Welcome family.
I brushed my teeth and got ready for bed.
Just forget everything. Maybe, just maybe, I'll wake up tomorrow morning and realize that I just dreamed it all. Yes, that would be great, but I didn't believe it.
I talked with Edward about all that had happened today. He was not averse to having many children but the fact that his mother stayed here really got to him.
Understand the men. It didn't have to be many children; one should be enough for the beginning. Getting married also came into it. All two things were okay. But all at the same time, with Esmé watching to make sure everything went her way.
"Honey Bunny, have you seen my pill?"
I rummaged around in my half of the little bathroom cabinet and couldn't find it.
Where are they? They are always in the same place.
"No, I didn't. Are they not there?"
He came to me and helped me look.
"They always lie here. But not anymore. I know for a fact that they were here last night."
Edward chuckled softly.
"Mom," was all he said.
I was hit by the realization.
Esmé, who else? That couldn't be true. She was completely serious about 'I'll make sure of that! and left nothing to chance.
Edward turned me around so that I had to look at him.
"Honey. We do want a child. So ..." He kissed my shoulder. "Let's start with that right now."
That's easy for him to say. He didn't have to run around with a bullet that weighed twenty kilos. He didn't have to squeeze the child out in hellish pain. Men think only of pleasure. I have nothing against pleasure, but the other thing was not so intoxicating.
"I don't mind the basic exercises. But it's all going so fast and Esmé ..."
He silenced me with a kiss that dissolved my objections.
What did I want again? Forgotten. Something like this doesn't immediately happen just because you don't take your pill once. Tomorrow I would ask Esmé to give it back to me. Even though I feared that this was a hopeless undertaking.
Edward lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around him. He carried me to the bed.
"Let's practice, honey."
