Chapter Four
Secrets
"Tell me what you want to hear. Something that will light those ears. Sick of all the insincere. So I'm gonna give all my secrets away. This time, don't need another perfect lie. Don't care if critics ever jump in line. I'm gonna give all my secrets away. My God, amazing how we got this far... Oh, got no reason, got no shame. Got no family I can blame. Just don't let me disappear. I'ma tell you everything..." ~ One Republic
"Rip the earth in two with your mind. Seal the urge which ensues with brass wires. I never meant you any harm. But your tears feel warm as they fall on my forearm..." ~ Mumford & Sons
"Secret, hidden underneath it, trying hard to keep it. Safely out of reach. Creeping, I can feel it breathing, calling to the surface, finally in my dreams..." ~ Digital Daggers
15 Days Earlier
It was eerily quiet in the house, not a single soul making a sound. After Jack's abrupt appearance and just as abrupt departure, I think we were all in shock. Well I was in shock, Stefan and Damon were worried. I wasn't sure what to make of all the information I was given. I stared at nothing particular in the room, my mind spinning.
I heard someone move downstairs and sat up. Stefan and Damon have been avoiding me, afraid that I might hate them because they lied to me. I was upset, but I wasn't mad. What upset me was that they all knew my life was a lie and they never said a word. Damon knew who I was when we met in 1898, and he still tried to kill me.
I think that was the part that hurt the most. If he loved me so much, why did he try to kill me? I never went looking for Stefan, we met accidentally. But now I wasn't so sure. Did he seek me out, because he knew who I was? When I couldn't take the silence anymore. I got out of bed and went downstairs. Before I wanted silence, now I couldn't stand it. I headed downstairs seeking out one of the brothers.
A few days ago when I wanted them to keep away from me and leave me alone they made it their mission to not grant me that wish, but now that I want to talk they suddenly found the art of avoidance. I found both brothers sitting in the living room, Damon with a drink in his hand and Stefan standing by the fireplace, reading a book.
They both looked up when I walked in, both looking incredibly guilty.
I walked over to where Damon sat and sat down next to him, one foot under me and the other on the floor. "Here you go," Damon said handing me his drink. I took it and happily gulped it down. "You have no idea how much I needed that," I said putting the glass down. "I think we all needed a drink after yesterday," Damon answered.
"Ava," Stefan began, putting the book down on the fireplace.
"If you apologize one more time, Stefan, I will hurt you," I said light-heartedly.
Stefan looked at me and a smile returned to his eyes.
"Why aren't you angry?" Stefan asked.
"You didn't tell me that you knew me. It's no big deal."
"See it is!" Stefan pointed out, horrified.
"I'm not mad, Stefan. I'm just upset, because you guys never told me!"
"I wanted to, but I couldn't."
"What's your excuse?" I asked Damon.
"I tried to kill you." I laughed. I couldn't help it.
"Okay then," I said.
"That's it, you're not mad?" Stefan asked again, just to clarify that I wasn't mad.
"I'm not mad, Stefan. Because I too kept a secret," I replied.
"What do you mean you kept a secret?"
I looked at Damon, aware that we never really talked about the fact that Sasha was our daughter. Sure I showed him a couple of memories, but we never took the time to talk about it. This might be the only time I had to finally tell the secret I've been keeping to myself for so long. "Sasha's my," I looked at Damon again. "Sasha is our daughter," I corrected, taking Damon's hand. Damon squeezed my hand before I let go of his, getting to my feet. I walked a couple of steps back taking a deep breath.
"I don't understand," Stefan said. "Vampires are sterile."
"I don't know how it happened. Jack said something about magic," I answered turning around facing the brothers. "But I don't know. All I know is that after Damon left at the end of '82 I found out I was pregnant."
"That's why you were so adamant in curing her," Stefan said, finally understanding why I begged him to save Sasha twelve years ago.
"What happened to her twelve years ago?" Damon asked concerned. I sat down on the coffee table in front of Damon. "When Sasha was three they found that she had a heart defect. By chance the family stumbled onto my path. I did a heart transplant." I took a breath. "When Sasha was eighteen her heart gave out, and she didn't have enough time to wait for a new heart. I couldn't let her die, not after all I went through to make sure she was safe," I said with tears in my eyes. "So I injected my blood and Stefan's blood directly into her heart."
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Damon asked. I shook my head and turned around facing the wall. I ran my fingers through my hair and turned back.
"Because I didn't want Tobias to find her. I couldn't risk The Assembly using her to hurt me," I said, but that wasn't exactly the truth.
"But why not tell one of us?" Damon asked, kindly.
"I didn't want to tell you 'cause I knew you'd want to do what was right, and I didn't want you to resent me for forcing you to stay," I said, and that was the honest answer.
"You should've told me," Damon said, a bit heatedly. He was trying really hard to be understanding, but he couldn't quite pull it off.
"Like you told me that we had a history," I snapped.
That was mean. I regretted it the second I said it. "I don't regret my decision to give her up, Damon. I did what was best for her," I said gently.
"But you didn't even ask me?"
"I didn't want to fight about it. If Tobias found out about her he would've killed her or worse take her and make her one of his disciples."
"I could've protected both of you, Ava."
"She was safer away from our world," I said with certainty, putting an end to the conversation. Damon understood and nodded his head, dropping the subject.
But I had a feeling that this was not the last time we'd talk about it.
"Wow," Stefan said from his spot in the living room. "So, I wasn't crazy for thinking that there were a lot of similarities between the two of you."
"No you weren't," I said with a smile.
"I'm an uncle," Stefan mused. "And you're a dad." Stefan had a giant smile on his face.
"Not officially," Damon said not really feeling Stefan's excitement.
"What does that mean?" Stefan asked taking a seat on the other sofa.
"Sasha doesn't know," I replied.
"She doesn't know?"
"Are you going to keep repeating everything we say," Damon asked getting up, heading to the drinks table. He poured himself another drink and gulped it down.
"She deserves to know, Ava," Damon said after another drink.
"I know. I just don't know how to tell her."
"We'll do it together," Damon said with determination.
"She'll be here by the end of the month. We can tell her then."
"If she's anything like us, she's going to be pissed off."
"She's so much like us that it scares me."
We lapsed into silence everyone occupied with their own thoughts.
"How did we end up here, Damon?" I asked breaking the silence.
"Destiny," he answered, but it sounded more like a question.
"I'm not so sure," I said shaking my head.
"Destiny or not, you were supposed to be together and I hope you guys can get back what you've lost," Stefan said walking towards me. He squeezed my shoulder, looked at Damon and left. We heard Stefan leave the house, the front door clicking shut behind him. "What do you say?" Damon asked meeting my gaze.
"About what?"
"About us making this work."
"I don't know, Damon. I need some time."
