Chapter Twelve

First Heartbreak

"Oh, you can't hear me cry. See my dreams all die. From where you're standing. On your own. It's so quiet here. And I feel so cold. This house no longer feels like home. Oh, when you told me you'd leave I felt like I couldn't breathe. My aching body fell to the floor..." ~ Ben Cocks

"But how do you expect me to live alone with just me? 'Cause my world revolves around you. It's so hard for me to breathe..." ~ Jordin Sparks

"And it's breaking over me. A thousand miles down to the sea bed. Found the place to rest my head. Never let me go. Never let me go..." ~ Florence & The Machine

1861

Minutes felt like hours, hours felt like days and days felt like weeks. Avalon was walking around the house looking lost and confused. She's been like this ever since I told her that I have joined the Armed Services. She spent her days cancelling everything she organized for the wedding. Every so often I'd hear her soft sobs and would find her in a corner tugged away from the world. She was heartbroken and there was nothing I could do about it. What was done, was done.

"Just get it done!" she snapped at one of the young maids. The maid apologized and hurried out of the room.

Avalon sat down and covered her eyes with her hand. She leaned back and rested her head against the back of the chair. "Avalon," I said stepping in to the room.

"Not now, Damon," she said angrily getting to her feet. "I have too much to do."

I grabbed her wrist making her stop. She turned and slapped me. It was a sudden blow causing a sting. I didn't flinch. She was angry and she was taking it out on everyone but me. I was the one responsible for breaking her heart.

She pulled her arm free from my grasp and looked at me with anger and hatred.

"Do not dare stand here and give me some patriotic speech. Not today."

I was leaving in a few days and she was trying to find a way to cope with it. Her eyes glittered with fresh tears and her hands started to tremble. She looked away and wiped a stray tear. She shook her head and left the room, too upset, too broken to even look at me.

"I'm trying, Damon," she said pausing by the door. She turned around and gave me one last look before she disappeared out of the house. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I let go of my anger and sadness. I knocked the remaining vase of roses to the floor. It fell and shattered water spilling, pieces of glass glistening in the sun and flowers strewn on the to die. I felt warmth spread down my arm and lifted it to have a look.

The vase had cut me and blood was oozing from the wound down my arm. I cupped it with my other hand and went to the bathroom to clean the wound.

Avalon sat in the window, her legs crossed, her white and blue dress hanging on the floor. The sun fell across her beautiful features, highlighting her gorgeous skin and curly locks. She turned a page in the book she was reading, her hair falling across her face, hiding her face. She pushed the hair behind her ear, dropping one leg to the floor, she wasn't that tall so her foot dangled a couple of inches above the floor.

I stood in the door watching her, unable to make myself go into the room. I knew we had a lot to discuss, but for now I just wanted to remember this moment. I wanted to remember the beauty that was in front of me. Avalon turned another page and read for a couple of seconds, before she dropped her head. A tear slipped down her cheek and she caught it just as it slipped below her chin. She wiped her eyes, staring out of window, more tears rolling down her rosy cheeks. I walked towards her and got down on my knees next to her, taking her hand in mine. It was killing me to see her so sad, and there wasn't really much I could do to lessen her sorrow. What was done was done and I had to live with the consequences of my decisions. I knew that once I joined I couldn't go back. But, it was my duty to join. My duty to protect those I love.

Avalon gripped my hand firmly, turning her head to look at me. Her eyes were swimming with tears, her nose red and her bottom lip quivering.

"I can't do this, Damon."

"Can't do what?" I asked, covering her hand with my other.

"I can't say goodbye, I'm not ready," she said shaking her head.

"I'll come back," I promised. She wiped a tear attempting a smile, but it fell short of being genuine. "You can't promise that," she said. I reached up and cup her face with my hand. A tear splashed on my fingers. "I promise I'll come back to you," I said more determined than ever. She closed her eyes and touched my hand with hers.

"You're breaking my heart," she said with a sob, no longer able to keep her sorrow bottled up. "I'm so sorry," I breathed resting my head against her thigh. Avalon let go of my hand and stroked my hair instead. "I know you are," she whispered.

The sun started to set and it was time to leave. I grabbed my belongings that was packed in one travel sized bag. It contained clothes and hygiene goods. I also had a picture of Avalon in the pocket of my uniform. I stepped out of the house and saw my brother and father already outside waiting to say their goodbyes. There was no sign of Avalon. I took a deep breath and walked to where my family stood.

"Good luck," my father said hugging me and giving me a slap on the back.

"Be safe," Stefan said when it was his turn. We embraced each other like it was the last time we'd see each other. But it wasn't, I had to believe that.

I stepped away from my brother and gave him a nod. "Look after him," I said indicating to our father. Stefan nodded and gave me a reassuring smile. "And look after Avalon," I asked. Stefan nodded and embraced me again. "We'll be fine."

I stepped away from Stefan and smiled. I looked behind him and saw Avalon standing a few yards away. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and half a smile.

She ran towards me and I met her halfway scooping her into my arms. She threw herself in my arms, wrapping them around my neck. She rested her head in the crook of my neck. "I thought you weren't going to say goodbye," I breathed putting her down. "Never," she replied pulling away. We looked at each other, and I took the opportunity to burn her image into my brain. I wanted to remember everything about Avalon. "Here," she said taking my hand and placing something cold in my palm. She closed my hand and brought it to her lips, kissing it. "Bring it back to me," she said.

She stood on the tip of her toes and brushed her lips against mine.

"I love you," she said kissing me. "Damon! It's time to go my boy," my father called.

I looked at what she had placed in my hand. It was her engagement ring. I gripped it tight in my hand. "I love you too," I said with a smile. "Please be safe," she said her face wet with tears. "Always," I said kissing the top of her head. I turned around and left, walking to my horse. I got on my horse, ready to get going. I got on and gave my family one last look. Avalon had joined my father and Stefan. Stefan reached out and took Avalon's hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. Avalon broke down and Stefan caught her before she hit the ground. I rode off before I had a change of heart. My last glimpse was of Avalon sobbing and clinging to Stefan.