Chapter Four: Iolenes' Resolve

Iolene touched herself last night, it felt good and relieving. Her pent-up feelings are released in moments of self-pleasure. Lexi was right, it can feel great when done correctly... The sixteen-year-old stares at herself naked in the mirror. Long gold hair covering half of her back. Her body is still changing... Her breasts have grown larger as her hips have become more defined. Her belly fat from when she was a child is gone after so much travelling... She grew taller by a few inches and her old dresses no longer fit her properly, much to her sadness. She loved those dresses. Iolene decided to donate her old dresses to the needy as Eleya measured her for new clothes, now ordering mature woman outfits. When she bled over a year and a half ago, after turning fifteen. She is now classified a woman grown, even though it still felt to her that she is not a woman yet. Stein and Marlowe love to repeatedly speak of future husband candidates. Iolene measures up her future prospects in her thoughts. Marriage, children... My destiny. I was always told this. Keep the family line going for I am the last... Her mind repeats after her heart beats fast. She can feel it pumping hard in her chest.

Iolene to think of something to slow her anxiety. Apart from becoming an Empress, ruling a broken nation... The gold Empire will not be the same. Memories of my ancestors show of the glowing city of art... It was inevitable the Black Empire would have destroyed it. There are going to be those who still want to kill me. Will they even have me as an Empress? Iolene ponders the thought many times a day. But seeing Erena Morningstar, gave her hope. She did not reveal who I was...

Iolene in distraction turns to see her buttocks, stroking them as they felt smooth. Is this what men desire? How am I desirable? Not just that, how do they not know me as a force to be reckoned with? I am powerful, am I? Not physically strong like the others... Is my beauty all anyone cares about? She ponders. Knowing she has a pretty face as people tell her. Her expectations of beauty were always the face. Heart-shaped with soft cheeks, pink full lips, and large gold eyes giving her a hint of innocence. But what of the rest of her body? Fred always complimented her beauty almost every day, mentioning her behind many times... Yet Aaron does not. But then she doesn't compliment Aaron in all fairness. Aaron is so handsome, and tall, with defined muscles that are not too overbearing like Fred's... Does Aaron want to see me naked like this? Is this enough? I don't understand... Clenching her left hand she feels between her legs exploring her womanhood. She thinks of the time at the hall of love. The men put themselves into the woman as they performed. She has seen the male organ but never saw it being used until that night. She never thought of it the same again, like a chapter she couldn't unread. Her curiosity is overbearing... Maybe it was a mistake Lexi and Lei took her that night. But she had a good time, Lei left with a man who he desired. She is happy for him... He hasn't had fun like that since then, after all, he was almost kidnapped that night.

"The bath is ready my lady..." Eleya says noticing, Iolene staring at herself naked in the mirror. "Are you alright my lady?" She asks worriedly.

"I don't know..." Iolene replies nervously. The Empress picks her nails in a nervous habit.

"Aaron isn't it?" Eleya gives Iolene a grin that cannot be denied. She knows... Eleya leads Iolene into her personal bathroom. Located just next to her room, she did not have to walk far. The steam gives off a warm feel as it is cold in her bedroom.

"Yes..." Iolene admitted a half-truth as she gracefully enters the bath. Having so many thoughts invading her mind, at the same time all she can do is wait... To endanger themselves. Aaron said he is doing this for me. FOR ME!? So reckless... Mali is right however, having orange as an ally will be advantageous. The Black Empire has many secrets... Khafra as an ally can give us those secrets. Aaron don't go... Please... She pleads in her mind. Iolene thinks as she plays with the water. It is hot, to Iolenes liking... Soothing and relaxing. The water has a gentle scent of hibiscus flowers as they float on the surface. Iolene ducked her head and hair to get soaked. Emerging up as Eleya rubs berry oil into her hair. It felt good as Iolene leaned back for Eleya to do her work.

"That boy has put your head into a tizzy!" She jokes. "Ah! It is inevitable though. Many young adults such as yourself go through it..."

"Tizzy? Go through it?" Iolene asks, never hearing the word before. Forgetting the Orange Empire for a moment.

"Tizzy as in your mind obsessed thinking of something. You are at that age. Infatuation with boys or girls, maybe even both. I remember meeting my husband all too well, he was my only thought... The man drove me insane and I to him. When you are attracted it makes you go crazy for them... I know for you it is Aaron, the way you always go after him. And I can see why, he is very handsome and kind. Has he said anything to you?" Eleya says reassuringly as she rubs the oils into Iolenes scalp. Eleya knew Aaron would not be a suitable match for the gold girl. He is an enslaved bastard and she is an Empress with a blessed bloodline. But Eleya knew telling Iolene the scenario would not help the situation. She knows Iolene isn't stupid. Stein has probably told her many times... But she is young and infatuated like many girls her age. Aaron is also young being three years older than Iolene, him showing maturity and restraint.

"Yes, well no..." Iolene said sulking as she remembers the meadow and his room. Changing her thought process again. The opportunities were right there. "I don't know..." Iolene holds herself tightly. Clutching her chest as it felt like everyone she knew is staring at her. But the only one who isn't looking is Aaron.

"What happened? You are hiding something..." Eleya says sternly. "Tell me what is bothering you. What you say will not leave this bathtub." Eleya says as she pours water over Iolenes head. But in carefulness, she makes sure not to get water into her lady's eyes.

Iolene always trusted Eleya. So in a quick decision, she decided to tell of the meadow and his room just yesterday.

"He did not kiss me... Twice..." Iolene said defeated. "It is so embarrassing." She says as she closes her body up. Placing her knees underneath her chin. "What am I doing wrong?" She asks Eleya.

"You are not doing anything wrong... But Aaron has lived a much harsher life than you. I have heard of how they treated slaves at my old home. The unrelenting horror and constant fear. It is why I escaped... I lost everyone. My husband, parents, my children... Everyone, as they were all brutally murdered, by the forces of the Black Empire." Eleya has spoken to Iolene about her family many times before. Iolene held her hand in solidarity. But Eleya in softness wanted Iolene to see through the eyes of herself and Aaron in this moment.

Eleya continues on. "Aaron I know has spoken horrors of his time in Dominus Sahara. But they were only snippets of it... I know for a fact there is so much more that shaped why he is the way he is... Those matters he hates to speak of as he suffers from constant night terrors. The never-ending fear of the simplest things that can be snatched away."

"He won't say anything more to me!" Iolene says with a twinge of anger. "I ask and I ask... He said that he is fine..."

"Did you judge him? At any point?" Eleya asks.

Iolene thinking back, it felt so long ago now. Remembering one of their discussions. The Macdan training arena, when Aaron spoke of his survival trials. Iolene hated thinking of it... She almost forgot it. "He said... That he ate human meat to survive. I was shocked, to say the least."

Eleya stops massaging Iolenes head for a moment. "Oh... I see..."

"I apologised for the way I acted..." Iolene said urgently regretting her reaction. Trying to make amends... By pretending he never said such a thing.

"Maybe he doesn't open himself up. Because he fears that you will see him as a monster... He gave you a glimpse and you repulsed." As Eleya pauses and takes a deep sullen breath.

"I've seen the way he looks at you... You won't see it, but everyone else knows. Even Stein... I overhear that he prefers the two of you to be separated. Aaron loves you... He probably doesn't want to give you or himself false hope. Aaron had to mature quickly to survive, he has seen the world at its most cruel. He knows the reality of your relationship. You are to marry a nobleman... A man of wealth and influence, raising his children. Aaron is not that man..."

Iolene sits quietly in the tub for a long while, staring at a hibiscus flower. Her skin turns wrinkled as the water begins to cool.

Eleya grabs Iolenes hand as she scrubs her nails.

"How can I marry someone whom I don't love?" Iolene asks.

"You will learn... Many women and men in history have been forced to wed each other. If they don't love each other. They respect and adore their children." Eleya says convincingly.

Iolene thinks of Lei's parents, they loved each other dearly. Empress Zhen and Emperor consort Jian have a large age gap of sixteen years between them. They were betrothed before Zhen was even born. Jian is the son of an advisor and part of the Zhong family. Zhen was the only surviving child of Emperor Zhi (Lei's grandfather). A rather unlikable man, but he was a great Emperor. Dreaming of a son he and his first wife tried for many years and failed. If a child was ever a girl Zhi betrothed Jian to her. It came to pass... Jian at sixteen first saw his future wife and Empress as a newborn.

Iolene couldn't imagine it, knowing your wife was in the womb of the Empress the day before. To her relief, there is no time for such a betrothal. Mali and Stein would like her to start breeding as soon as possible. The gold family line needs to be reinstated. The thought always daunted her. This way she dreamt she was born a man... Otherwise, pregnancy wouldn't be a problem. She stands up to leave the tub. Eleya prepares her towels and garments.

Eleya helps to dry Iolene off. Iolene sighs as she puts on an undergarment tunic. Then adds a layer of wearing a silk navy blue dressing gown. Long and gorgeous, it was Grand Princess Nerida's old one. The train is long and elegant. Suited for a princess...

Looking out the window the storm is still raging. I want to be strong... I am done being weak. I am tired of being the one protected. Ancestors... Please help me. I want to be strong. The memories of the past cannot help me only making me wish for a life I could live instead... Iolene then wished she had the gift of the future. But that gift has long been gone, thousands of years has not been referenced in any book recently written...

Iolene in a rush grabs her repleo quill and empty pages. Deciding to go into the palace library. Eleya followed her closely behind. Iolene with new determination begins to study.

The library is smaller compared to the temple or Lan-Se. But it is enough, to hopefully find something useful. I am not strong by strength. But I am strong by knowledge and one day... Hopefully, my draconium powers will be powerful as many of my ancestors before me. Iolene has been practicing in secret with Stein. She showed promise, but it is too dangerous. If anyone sees or even senses gold draconium, she will be in danger. That time in the arena, She lost control. It could not happen again.

"Iolene what are you doing?" Eleya asks.

"I am researching anything that is useful." Iolene scoping through endless tomes and scrolls. Walking to the further end of the library, where the old documents rest. Taking out a book of old maps. "Please help me". Iolene asks as Eleya nods and grabs out a few old scrolls.

Iolene accepts the fact Aaron is going to the Orange Empire. He is facing his greatest fear to help her get Loan and her country back... Iolene should face her fears head-on. But to do so... She will become stronger. Letting go of her childhood fantasies she opens the tome of "Land Histories of the Light-Blue Empire."