Thrawn continued his studies in near solitude, leaning only on Eli for any kind of positive reinforcement. This was something he had to do, for the Chiss, and he couldn't fall apart over some absurd human posturing. He ignored chides and remarks in classes and workshops, focusing solely on the mission. Eli did his best to comfort him for a time, but Thrawn's lack of visual response had apparently dissuaded Eli, and Thrawn pretended he was not disappointed.
The humans thought he lacked their emotional range, but they couldn't be more wrong. He simply kept it to himself, as the Chiss did. Giving your emotions away was like handing your opponent your cards. It wasn't a lesson Thrawn could break, nor would he want to. It protected him.
It wasn't until Thrawn finally ventured out for the first time without Eli, to get Caff in the mess. There weren't many people, as he knew it was an odd hour between meals, and Thrawn went about his business. It wasn't until he was heading back that someone acknowledged him.
"Thrawn!"
He looked up, expecting an insult of some kind.
Linnia.
She was seated at one of the tables, her datapad in front of her as well as a cup of caff and a bowl of fruit.
He limped over.
"Good morning, how are you feeling?" She asked.
"I'm doing well, largely due to your assistance. Thank you."
She gestured to the chair, "do you want to join me?"
He swallowed. Did he?
"Certainly."
He sat before her, eying her datapad quickly. Biochemical engineering.
"I'm glad you're up and about."
"As am I," Thrawn said, sipping his caff. "Are you studying?"
He knew that she was, but had seen Eli ask the obvious of people to begin a conversation.
"Yes, I have a final exam later this week." She sighed.
"You struggle with biochemical engineering?"
She shrugged, "I think I'm just burnt out. I was overly ambitious in my schedule."
Thrawn inclined his head, "periods of rest often help the mind absorb information more efficiently. It might do you well to stop studying for a time."
She smiled, "maybe you're right, maybe that's just what I need."
His lips quirked up slightly, "I hope so."
Someone set their caff down beside him on the table, eyeing Thrawn. She was taller than Linnia, her light hair pulled back in a tight bun. Her eyes were blue like Eli's, but lacked their kindness and warmth.
Linnia cleared her throat. "Doetr, this is Thrawn."
The girl looked him over, cringing. Thrawn looked away.
"He's joining us?" She asked, her arms crossed.
"Technically, you're joining us," Linnia said with a bite in her tone.
Thrawn rose, and Linnia shook her head. "Thrawn-"
"Thank you, Linnia. I wish you success on your exam." He said, walking as quickly as he could from the table.
"Why?" He heard Linnia ask her friend, and he sighed.
He was quiet that night after dinner, and Eli continued to ask him what was wrong.
"Nothing, I am fine." Thrawn said, returning to his paper. He didn't wish to talk to Eli about it. To see the pity in his expression when he told him. He was used to it. It had been the same with the Chiss. He was an outsider, constantly trying to prove his worth. They thought he was strange, and knew of his political ineptness, taking advantage of his Mitth standing to try to manipulate him into humiliating the Mitth family. He'd endured humiliation in his life, more than he cared to admit. But it'd made him strong, taught him how to keep his cards close to his chest. Relying on others made one weak. He had all the strength he needed.
"Did someone bother you again?" Eli asked.
Thrawn didn't answer.
Eli squeaked out a consonant before there was a knock at the door. Eli answered it, his hand behind his head.
"Hi Eli, Is Thrawn here?"
Thrawn straightened, looking toward the door.
"Come on in," Eli said, closing the door behind her.
"Linnia?" Thrawn set his datapad down.
She stood awkwardly before him. "Thrawn, I'm so sorry about Doetr. I asked her to leave but you left so quickly."
Thrawn glanced at Eli, and back to her. "No need for an apology."
She looked at the floor. "Thrawn, no one is going to speak to you like that in my presence."
He was surprised by the force in her tone. "No one deserves to be treated like that."
Eli smiled, "I've been telling him that." he chided.
Thrawn looked at the floor. "I appreciate your concern but it is alright. I do not wish to bring such ill consequences down on you and your social standing simply for fraternizing with me."
"I can make that decision on my own," she said, unblinking.
"Of course. I did not mean to imply otherwise." Thrawn said, cringing inwardly.
She inclined her head. "I'll be there tomorrow, same time, same table. I'd like for you to join me, if you would."
She didn't wait for a response, instead bidding Eli goodnight and sweeping from the room.
"What was that about?"
Thrawn lifted his datapad. "I saw Linnia in the mess and her companion insinuated I was not welcome, so I left."
Eli crossed his arms, "you want me to go with you?"
Thrawn shook his head. Eli was taking enough of a beating for him. "I'll make do. Thank you."
When Thrawn was young, maybe ten or eleven, a young girl at his academy had begun to pay attention to him. She intrigued him, and her attention was something new to Thrawn. He was largely ignored, sometimes downright bullied, and he'd come to focus on invisibility. But this girl was determined. She sat near him, talked to him, and defended him. He began to trust her, to fear that one day she would no longer take an interest in him.
"I got a better grade than you," she teased once, holding up her datapad, her test results clear on the screen.
"You got lucky. You're not as smart as me, so I'll get a better grade next time." Thrawn had responded, not meaning it as it had come out.
She frowned, "are you calling me stupid?"
He shook his head, "I'm just saying that you're not as smart as me."
She'd burst into tears, ignoring Thrawn's pleas and apologies. Their friendship had ended there, and she utilized what she'd learned about him to join in with the others' taunting. Thus began Thrawn's caution with 'friends.'
Over the years any relationship that had edged toward friendship was destroyed one way or another by Thrawn. Either his mouth or his reputation brought them to a swift end. He'd had allies, yes, but never a true friend, nevermind any small semblance of a romantic relationship.
This caution reared its head with reckless abandon the following morning. He'd decided to go to the mess, as not to insult her after all the kindness she had shown.
But he was not looking forward to it.
He'd ruin it, one way or another he'd get comfortable and stop filtering his words, letting something arrogant or rude slip out. It would chip away at her opinion of him, and he'd fall to the wayside. That was the way of it and he'd accepted it. It was this hope.
Just when he got used to being alone, content, someone always came around to give him hope that maybe this time it would be different. It never was.
He'd showered, wearing his cadet grays, their casual attire. He had no classes, and no clothing aside from military attire.
"Enjoy yourself," Vanto called from the desk, and Thrawn left with no response.
His hands were clammy when he reached the mess, and Linnia was, in fact, seated at the same table. Her dark hair was piled high on her head in a messy knot, her glasses on.
Thrawn swallowed and approached. She looked up.
"Morning," She greeted with a smile, a bit of surprise in her tone.
"Good morning," he said, unsure of what to do.
"Have a seat, do you want me to grab you some caff or something? I don't want you to walk on that leg unless you have to."
"If you would," he said, his ankle sore.
"I'll be right back." she said, pushing the chair in. He took a moment to observe her things. Her possessions were worn, well used over the time she'd spent at the academy. It made Thrawn think she wasn't as wealthy as the others, who bought new supplies every year at least. She was certainly a touch older than Vanto, but he wasn't entirely sure how old. Could he ask? He was still learning human formalites. Suddenly he'd wished he brought Eli along.
She returned, setting his caff down before him, along with a breakfast pastry.
"Thank you," he said, lifting the cover of his caff. Black.
"I noticed that's how you had it yesterday, I hope its alright."
He bobbed his head, "Yes, thank you."
She smiled, and he found himself smiling back. He looked around, others paired off studying or eating… he was like them. A regular person having a conversation with a friend. He faltered. She wasn't his friend.
She adjusted her glasses, and Thrawn tilted his head.
"Could you not have some sort of...?" He paused. He didn't know the word. Eli wasn't here.
She stared at him. "What?"
He swallowed, embarrassed. "nothing. My apologies."
She shook her head. "I just don't know what you mean?"
"Your, your eyes. I- I'm sorry I do not know the word in basic." He pursed his lips. Why would he ask that?
"Oh," she half smiled, " Do you mean some sort of corrective surgery?"
He nodded.
"I did, I only need them on occasion, when my migraines affect my vision a bit."
Thrawn looked away, "that was not an appropriate question. I apologize."
She shook her head, "it's ok, Thrawn. If I don't want to answer something I'll tell you."
He searched her face for anger, but she met his gaze with resolve.
"Thank you."
She smirked. "Can I ask you a personal question?"
He bobbed his head. "You may."
"You said you don't know the word in basic. What language is your native language?"
"Cheunh." He replied.
She looked up, "And where is that language spoken?"
"The Chiss Ascendency. It is in what you would call the unknown regions."
She smiled, "that's amazing." Her eyes sparkled with curiosity, and Thrawn felt heat rush to his face. He'd pleased her somehow.
"How long have you been on Coruscant?"
She'd gotten him comfortable. "A month."
Her eyes widened. "And you're alone here?"
He saddened. "Yes. I am the only of my people here."
She shook her head, "you're so brave, Thrawn. I'd be so scared."
He searched her face. She seemed a little sad. He didn't know what to say, remaining quiet.
"I am the only alien in the academy." He said quietly.
She bobbed her head, "Everyone here is horrendous to you. I've seen it."
He looked at the table. "I have not noticed." He said, the raw scratch of his voice giving away his lie.
"Eli seems very kind, though."
"He is," Thrawn said without missing a beat. "He is also my translator."
"He speaks Cheunh?" She asked, trying the word.
"No. He speaks Sy Bisti, a language common to his planet and my own through trade."
She grinned, "I'm happy you came today."
"As am I."
She touched his hand. "You've always got a friend when I'm around."
He watched her expression, his eyes wide. "I… thank you."
She smiled, standing, "I have class, but let's do this again, whenever you're free."
"Yes, I would like that." Thrawn said and rose. She waved and he watched her go. The table beside him was laughing, watching him.
"You go, alien! You definitely stand a chance!"
He came crashing back down, taking his caff and leaving the mess.
