Thrawn met with Linnia a dozen more times. Each time they grew a little closer, Thrawn growing just a little more comfortable. They studied, had dinner, and even left the campus together at times to explore Coruscant. He felt safe with her, like he wasn't going to pay for whatever he did or said when he was with her.

It wasn't until the month before graduation that it suddenly stalled. She stopped answering her messages, she was never in the mess, and her room was empty.

Had she left without telling him?

He didn't understand people, but he was sure they were friendly enough for him to be given an explanation? Thrawn cursed himself for getting so attached to the human, for letting his guard down. Of course she'd simply vanish, not wishing to bring their relationship any further than her time at the academy. He didn't offer Eli an explanation, and Eli had stopped asking.


Thrawn graduated with Eli, and tried not to give her another thought. He was here for the Chiss ascendency, and nothing more. He had Eli, and that was more companionship than he'd ever had prior… that was enough. He had an entire planet, an entire society of Chiss to protect with his actions in the empire, he couldn't allow himself to get caught up. It didn't matter. He'd leave them all in a moment to return to the Chiss. As he moved up to Captain, he made more enemies and gained more few allies became his subordinates, shattering any chance of redeeming a relationship with them. In turn, he attended many parties and returned to Coruscant quite often. He hated parties and dinners. The underhanded comments and whispering kept him on edge. This time it was in honor of Tarkin, and he made sure to go through the motions he always did. He sat with Yularen, always had a drink he was nursing, and remained as silent as possible. Yularen seemed to get the hint, and often tried to direct conversation elsewhere. Thrawn was on his third or fourth glass of wine, his head foggy. He looked around the room, and a man caught his gaze, and approached.

He was tall, almost as tall as Thrawn, his green eyes searching Thrawn's face. "Captain Thrawn is it?"

Thrawn inclined his head, "indeed."

"May I speak to you?"

He rose, excusing himself, and followed the younger man to the hall, where many waited for cocktails at the bar.

"My name is Korma Linre. I'm the admiral on the ISD Render."

"I would introduce myself, however, it seems you know who I am."

"Indeed. I've heard endlessly about your work, and wished to meet you."

"I'm honored, Admiral." Thrawn said, watching the others behind them. He wanted to go sit down. He had already exhausted himself exchanging formalities, and wasn't sure he had it in him to talk to Korma.

Korma smiled stepping slightly closer to Thrawn, who stiffened.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Thrawn shook his head, "I am afraid I have already indulged too much this evening."

"What's one more?"

Thrawn frowned, and Korma got him another glass of wine at the bar. He handed it to Thrawn, quickly finishing the shot in his hand, searching Thrawn's face with renewed interest.

He was quite attractive, slightly younger than thrawn, possessing a muscular build. He had dark brown eyes, nearly black, and tanned skin. His cologne was pleasant and not overpowering, and thrawn tried to loosen up.

"What is it I can help you with?" Thrawn asked.

"One thing id heard about you is your appreciation for transparency."

Thrawn clenched his jaw for whatever was about to fall out of this man's mouth. "Certainly."

The man virtually threw him against the wall, his lips pressed to Thrawn's. Thrawn tried to catch up, his mind still lagging from the man's abruptness.

He hadn't realized just how lonely he'd been until then. The feeling of another's warmth pressed against him was intoxicating, and he clung to the man's jacket. It felt so good, being with another, being touched and touching another person. Physical affection might be just what he needed.

Korma's tongue was in his mouth, and Thrawn's shock finally wore off enough for him to try to reciprocate. He turned Korma so that his back was to the wall instead of Thrawn's. Thrawn didn't like to be without control, and he wanted to show this man that this would be no different.

Korma smiled, nipping Thrawn's bottom lip. Thrawn set his glass down on the table holding the tall floral arrangement, unbuttoning his top button.

They heard the clicking of high heels on the shined tile, and Korma paused. Before Thrawn could move away in his state, they were on them.

"Korma? What are you?"

Korma pushed Thrawn away from him, his lips turned down in disgust. "A little too much to drink, this one," he said, dramatically stalking away. He followed them out in the hall, leaving Thrawn standing in the alcove.

He walked back to the Chimera, leaving his things behind. He still hadn't processed what had happened. Korma approached him. Korma kissed him. What had Thrawn done? He didn't understand. They'd been caught, yes, but why treat him so? Worry nagged into his mind. WHat would this do to his already thin reputation, if he chose to tell others that Thrawn had come onto him?

Eli virtually pounced on him at the bridge.

"You ok? I was worried about you."

Thrawn inclined his head. "I'm alright, but I'll be taking the rest of the night."

Eli bobbed his head, confused, and Thrawn returned to his quarters. Tears pricked the back of his eyes, and he ignored them. This wasn't any sort of reason to get emotional. He'd hoped for some sort of… enjoyment… and it turned up flat. So? Why get upset about it?

He felt used.

His lip twitched. Korma had made him feel like an object, when Thrawn was searching for some sort of fulfillment. Foolish. The humans were rubbing off on him.


Thrawn was unusually quiet the following day, right up until they were due to go to dinner with Yularen. They'd met in the hallway, and Thrawn led Eli silently to the same bar that was attached to the party the previous night. Eli wasn't originally due to join them, but Thrawn had asked him to join him. They'd ordered a round of drinks, and Yularen led them through the issue at hand. Thrawn responded, but seemed to be only half listening, his mind elsewhere.

A man approached, and Thrawn schooled his expression, but his body went rigid.

"Have you met captain Thrawn?" Yularen asked the man. Eli knew who he was on reputation alone.

"I can't say I have. Its a pleasure Captain. I am Admiral Korma."

Thrawn's gaze tightened. "Likewise."

Thrawn stared into his glass the rest of the meeting, which ended up being admittedly short.

"I apologize, Colonel. Regretfully, I am not quite in the right mind for this at the moment." Thrawn said, his expression neutral.

"Of course. Next time you're here, then."

Thrawn stalked back to the Thunderwasp, nearly slamming the door in Eli's face. Eli decidedly checked on the bridge, and returned, giving him a moment.

"Thrawn?" Eli called.

"Enter."

Eli shut the door behind him. Thrawn's eyes looked a bit watery. "What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean, Ensign?"

"I mean you've been acting really strange and I'm starting to worry about you."

Thrawn shook his head. "I'm entirely alright."

"No you're not. Tell me what's bothering you."

Thrawn stared at Eli. "It is foolish, and I am intoxicated. I will be fine in the morning."

"I want to help you." Eli pressed.

Thrawn looked away. "It is not appropriate for me to discuss with you."

"I'm your friend. You can discuss anything with me."

Thrawn laughed grimly. "You have been forced by my side reluctantly, you are not my friend."

"Initially, yes. But you're my friend now, Thrawn, I care about you."

"I-" he hesitated. "Admiral Korma."

"What about him?" Eli asked, sitting across from him.

"He… approached me last night. I was intoxicated. When others approached he decided I was not worth his time."

Eli's eyebrow quirked. "Then he introduced himself to you today."

Thrawn nodded.

"Thrawn, he's an asshole. Everyone knows how much of an asshole that guy is. It's not you."

"It is me," Thrawn hissed.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing."

"Thrawn." Eli growled.

"That would not be the first time or hardly the last that an encounter with another ended this way for me." He said. "Most of my encounters with others end in my making a fool of myself."

"That's not your fault. That's theirs. That is what you're going to get if you fool around with arrogant shits like korma. He sleeps with everyone. If you want something meaningful you have to work for it."

"I do! And each time I am cast aside!" Thrawn shouted, tears hanging in his glowing eyes. I have tried various approaches, and each time I end the night alone."

"Thrawn, you are a confusing, odd, difficult person. But you're kind, thoughtful, marvelously intelligent and you're one of the most valuable, irreplaceable people I've ever met. You can't place your value on the rich shitheads with high ranks in the military. Chiss or human."

Thrawn was looking at his legs, "I was foolish."

"Nah. You'll find someone who gets you."

Thrawn didn't respond.


Thrawn woke in the morning to Vanto handing him a mug of caff.

Thrawn's head was pounding, and he took it gratefully. At this point Eli knew that alcohol made him ill.

"I must apologize for last night. I was inebriated and emotionally compromised. It will not happen again." Thrawn said stiffly. "It was extraordinarily inappropriate, both what I said to you and my actions with Admiral Korma."

Eli stopped in front of him. "You didn't so anything wrong, and not for nothing, I'm your friend first."

Thrawn smiled, Eli leaving him to his morning update.


Thanks for reading! Please review. I promise Thrawn will get his joy :)