Chapter Twenty
Hartford, Connecticut
Lida stepped out of her cheap hotel room and turned her steps north. She felt at peace with this decision, to travel on her own for a couple of days and speak to her childhood confessor and favorite priest beore he had been transferred to another diocese. Father Ian Brady was as Irish as his name, complete with blue eyes, a ruddy complexion, and a brogue that fluctuated in intensity depending on what he was talking about.
Lida had felt she needed to get some outside perspective, but it was too embarrassing to go and seek out Father Barrett. She had, with Max's help, located her formerly favorite priest and telephoned him to seek permission to visit him and to make her confession.
The family's religion was something that stuck with Lida even through this rough period. She saw how deep her mother's faith was and her father's, well her Papa's spirituality. They made a life on that, and Lida was longing to feel some kind of tether to her parents, her siblings, her life.
It was chilly and Lida pulled her shawl around her shoulders. She remembered the day she got that one. It had been just Georg and her in town when the lady that made it was selling her wares at the church flea market. Lida had fallen in love with the bright colors and intricate designs. Her eyes had continually gone to the beautiful and expensive item. While she was in the fruit market picking up some apricots for Maria's jam, Georg purchased the shawl as a gift. It was one of the sweetest gifts she had ever received, and she still cherished it.
Georg had wrapped it around her shoulders and given her a big hug. When she was about to depart for college, she had taken the shawl with her. Moments before Georg left her in her dormitory, she got scared. It was a huge, unknown place with many new people.
Georg had taken her by the shoulders, looked into her eyes, and said in his firm, yet loving way, "You can do this. You can do this, Lida Rose."
Georg had taken the shawl and wrapped it around Lida's shoulders even though it was still very hot outside. "This is my hug," he whispered. 'Whenever you feel afraid, hold your head up high, wrap yourself in this shawl even if only for a second, then you take a deep breath and start walking. I love you my precious girl."
Had any of those words been lies? Lida didn't know for sure. Her anger had faded over the last weeks and a sense of embarrassment and shame had taken over. How in the world could she ever face her Papa again after what she had said and done? She had treated him terribly; she had truly become the embodiment of her birth father's hate. She hated herself.
Lida climbed the steps of the church and pushed the door open. She dipped her fingers into the holy water and inhaled the sweet aroma of frankincense. Then she took a deep breath, pulled the shawl tighter around her, and started walking.
Office of Dr. Cydney DeFilippo
Burlington, VT
"Well, by the looks of this lab work Dr. Leland's diagnosis was certainly correct, Mrs. von Trapp," Dr. DeFilippo told Maria and Georg as they sat side by side in her office. "And your physical exam shows nothing concerning. Things look good."
"When our daughter, Louisa, had her baby a few months ago the doctors were concerned about something called "advanced maternal age" and she is 11 years younger than Maria," Georg said in concern. His hand was ice cold in Maria's grasp.
"There are some studies that suggest the risks of both birth defects and maternal complications are greater in women over 35 years old but given Maria's health is good and you have already had 3 healthy children I'm not too concerned. We will have to examine Maria once a month until the baby quickens then every two weeks after," Dr. DeFilippo explained.
"What about the birth? If I stay healthy, can I still have the baby at home?" Maria gripped Georg's hand even tighter as she waited to hear the doctor's reply.
"I would prefer that you give birth in the hospital," Dr. Defilippo replied. "If there are any complications, I can get the baby out quickly and safely with minimal risk to either of you. If you were at home, it would take me the better part of an hour to get you to the hospital."
"Maria," Georg broke in. "I would also prefer you to have the baby in the hospital. Louisa didn't mind it," Georg reminded her, kissing the inside of her wrist. "At least consider it, please?"
Maria looked at Georg. Since the incident with Lida, he had aged. He had never looked so tired or old to her as he had these last ten weeks. She knew the idea of her having this baby was terrifying for him. In this moment, with his blue eyes firmly holding her own she could deny him nothing
"All right," Maria whispered, gently touching her forehead to Georg's. "I will consider it and if a time comes when I'm not healthy and I need help, I will go to the hospital, I promise."
Dr. DeFilippo felt her throat tighten at the love and respect she saw between this couple. She wanted more than anything to see Maria safely delivered of a fourth healthy child.
"Do you feel better, Darling?" Maria asked as they exited the doctor's holding hands.
"Yes," Georg replied. "But I won't be able to fully relax until the baby is born and you are safe. I'm sorry Maria, the idea is frightening for me.'
"Me too," Maria confessed. "But I know I will have your support, and your love, and that will get us through. It will."
"Do you know where she is?" Georg asked after a moment. "I miss her. I miss seeing her at dinner and hearing her laugh. I miss her."
Maria squeezed Georg's hand. "I know I do too, but we knew from the day she was born she was going to set her own pace in the world. Can't let anybody rush her. Liesl said she went to Connecticut and the only person we know that is in Hartford now is Father Brady. Lida was always very close to him until he was transferred. That's probably where she is…"
Hartford, Connecticut
Confessional of Father Brady
"Bless me Father for I have sinned, it's been 4 months since my last confession," Lida recited as she knelt in the confessional.
"What are your sins my child?" Father Brady asked. "You are a long way from home."
"Yes, Father Brady," Lida replied. "I am so confused. So many things have happened and…I have such anger and rage in my heart. I have said terrible things to my family, thought worse things and I…I feel like I'm becoming a monster. I feel I am just like him!"
"Just like who?" the former confessor for the entire family von Trapp pressed the sobbing young woman.
"My father," Lida sobbed. "I always saw it, I always felt it, but now I know and…I am just like him. I'm just like him…"
"Is it such a terrible thing to be noble, proud, and brave like your dear Father?" Father Brady asked.
Lida only cried harder. "No, no, not like the Captain, not like him, I'm nothing like him. I mean my father, my real father…oh, Father Brady this is such a mess."
"Do you want me to hear your confession, then we can step into the Church for a talk?"
Father Brady didn't let on that Georg had confessed the sin of wrath to him long ago regarding Lida's true heritage. It wasn't his place to do that.
Lida took a deep breath and began her confession. "I have been so angry at the Cap. Papa and Mama too. I can't understand why they lied, why they both lied and are still lying. I know my mother could never influence him, Papa I mean, she always bent how he wanted things. If they were only honest about that. In my anger, though, I dishonored them both. I'm also guilty of the sin of pride. I can't seem to go and ask Papa anything, I can't because it feels like I'm saying it's okay."
Father Brady listened to Lida's confession then pronounced her penance and absolved her of her sins. Lida had to admit she did feel lighter and a heart to heart with Father Brady would hopefully help her heal.
Stowe, Vermont
"Georg, you should try to nap," Maria suggested. "You haven't slept well all week. Going to bed after I do, you are up with the sun. You look tired."
"I am fine," Georg replied, but he winced as he moved to stand up from his chair to get a glass of water. "You are the one having the baby, Maria."
"I know, with the reflux and hot flashes it is hard to forget," Maria laughed. "What hurts? You made a face."
"My back," Georg admitted. "It's been sore near my shoulder. Comes and goes. I'll put some ice on it if it gets worse."
Maria moved to Georg's side and started to massage the middle of his back. He sighed under her tender touches and tried to relax the rigidity in his muscles.
Georg wanted with all his heart to believe that things would be all right. He wanted to believe Lida would come home but as time passed and she kept herself away he was losing hope. He wanted to believe Maria would be all right, that the baby would be fine, and that he would be around for a significant portion of the child's life. He knew deep down this was not a child he would likely see graduate high school. It was all a little tough to take even for an ornery old sea captain.
"Go stretch out, rest. I'll have supper ready around 6," Maria whispered. "I love you so much, Georg. Never, ever forget that."
Georg turned and held Maris close to his chest. "I'm feeling better. I'll help you with supper. You have to take it easy even if you feel well "
Maria chose not to argue with him, she just handed him a potato peeler and a paring knife and set about starting supper.
The entire family was in attendance on Sunday as per usual, with the exception of Lida. Cathy had even taken the train that weekend to be present for Maria and Georg's important news.
The day started with church, though Georg begged off, "I'm tired and my back is very sore,' he told Maria. "I think I just need a few more hours sleep."
Maria caressed Georg's cheek. "Sleep, Later wr can talk to everyone, and then you will feel better when we have the family's support. Do you want me to stay with you?"
"No," Georg replied. "Go on. I'll be ready when you get home from church. I just didn't sleep well. That sauce we put on the chicken gave me indigestion. Tough getting old.'
Maria gave Georg another kiss then headed off to church with Cathy, Julia, Kurt and his family.
"Where's Father?" Liesl asked. "He duck out on church again?"
"He didn't get much sleep last night," Maria replied. 'He's been having a lot of trouble with his back. He must have strained it somehow."
"He never did come in for that check up," Curtis told Maria as he and Marta joined the family outside. "He's 70 years old, he's a World War I veteran, and he is on that blood pressure pill that no one is even making sure works. Give him a push to come see me tomorrow, I can probably give him something to help his back."
"Thank you, Curtis," Maria smiled. "It's hard to see him having any kind of pain especially knowing…" She raised her eyebrow.
"I understand," Marta replied. 'This one here had a toothache earlier this week, just got him to the dentist Friday afternoon. Physician heal thyself."
Maria started to laugh and unconsciously put her hand on her belly. She couldn't wait to see the look on the children's face when they told them. This truly, even with turmoil surrounding Lida, was one of the happiest time of her life.
a/N: Well, things seem to be looking up for the von Trapps. Maria is healthy, Lida is seeking counseling for her anger, and Georg is learning how to relax, lol. See you guys Saturday for the next update. It's a doozy and a cliffy.
