Seattle's crazy, filled with back-to-back appointments and tests, but I get through it knowing I'll see Edward at the end—and that I'm going to be rewarded with a nice meal from Emmett. I get a snack after the blood work, but it barely settles the growls coming from me.

My last appointment is with Edward and the other surgeon, Dr. Alistair Callahan. I'm not surprised to find Edward a little more dressed up than usual, but the expensive-looking dark navy suit is a bit more than I expected.

He looks fucking fine though.

"Bella, I want you to meet Dr. Callahan," Edward says as the older man holds his hand out to me. "When the time comes, he'll retrieve the heart while I prepare you for the transplant, and then we'll work together to put the new heart in."

"It's nice to meet you," I say, trying not to eye fuck Edward.

"You, too, Ms. Swan. Dr. Masen and I want to go over some of your test results with you, but we won't keep you long. I'm sure you're tired after your long drive and multiple appointments."

He's not wrong. Obviously, the worst part was no coffee, which I still haven't gotten. While it may not perk me up anyway, I still require the taste of it to get through the day.

They go into detail about how bad my heart is, and then show me how many times the ICD has had to pace my heart to get it to slow down. Sometimes, I can feel the small flitters, but it's really not comfortable. Now, if it has to shock me, I've been told I'll feel like I've been kicked in the chest. I'm just thankful that hasn't happened yet.

While they talk, it's hard to keep my eyes off Edward and pay attention, but I do my best, listening to them tell me where I am on the transplant list and how I might start feeling as I get worse—which isn't a question of will I but when it'll happen. They even mention an LVAD if my heart can't keep pumping, which scares the living shit out of me.

I'm not ready to hear much about that yet, so I'm thankful they don't spend much time on it. They ask if I have any questions, and I do.

"It's kind of really hard to breathe at night even when I prop myself up with pillows," I admit. I haven't had a good night's rest in weeks because of the cough. "It's like I have to cough all night long."

Edward nods, smiling sympathetically. "It might be time to wear oxygen while you sleep then."

"I'll set it up," Emmett says. "Maybe we'll see about getting one of those adjustable bed frames, too."

"Not a bad idea," Edward says. "Is anything else bothering you?"

The fact that I can't kiss you.

I shake my head. "Not really. I think we've covered most of it. I do get some numbness and tingling in my fingers and lips sometimes, but I can usually get it to go away by breathing slowly and deeply."

Dr. Callahan speaks up. "Your O2 stats are on the lower side. If you notice it happening more often, I would recommend wearing oxygen during the day, too."

I dread the day that happens, but I know it's coming sooner than later. "If it gets worse, I will. I'm not ready to be tethered down yet."

"We understand," Edward says. "But it's better to keep you going at home with that than have to admit you to the hospital for oxygen therapy."

"We want to keep you out of the hospital for as long as possible," Dr. Callahan says. "Hospitals are full of germs, and your immune system is already compromised. If you have to stay too long, you could easily contract something and get incredibly sick. I think Dr. Masen has everything covered since he's close to you. You're a lucky lady."

I smile and realize, at least in that aspect, I am. I mean, if I have to be in heart failure, at least, my doctor lives ten minutes away … And gives me great orgasms, which surely help my health.

I think I read that somewhere.

The appointment ends, and Emmett does as promised, taking me to a delicious Mexican restaurant for a late lunch. I eat half my weight in steak fajitas and rice and love every minute of it. Eating healthy is overrated honestly.

If I'm going to die, I should get to eat whatever I want.


Thanks to May, Nole, Fran, Brier, and Meg for prereading and Sally for Beta'ing.