-:-
"Hey, hurry! Here comes Edward!"
"What?!" I wriggled my half-naked ass into my new jeans, trying to duck my head below the car's windowsill, only to end up falling into the gap between the front and back seats.
Angela tossed her head back with laughter as I cursed under my breath. "I'm kidding," she giggled. "No one's coming."
"You suck," I grunted as I strained to pull myself upright. I felt a little naughty changing in the back seat of a car, like a fashion-deprived teen with strict parents who was never let out of the house wearing anything more revealing than a turtleneck.
Once I was finally dressed in my new outfit, I let Angela touch up my makeup and then followed her out of the car, primped and feeling giddy. She and I ambled through the crowd of people that had congregated near the entrance of the carnival—excuse me, festival. I'd never seen one amid the woods before, but it was very pretty.
Against the backdrop of evergreens and multi-colored oaks, compact booths held games, stuffed toys, and goldfish in plastic bags, along with purchasable crafts, raffle tickets, and refreshments. The aroma of salty grease, sugary fried dough, and oiled metal simmered and wafted through the trees, carried by the chilled wind that rustled my hair. There were rides scattered throughout the grounds, too: a classic carousel for kids, a rainbow-colored Round-Up, a standard Ferris wheel, and more—including one particular torture contraption that contained people inside little sit-down cages that were repeatedly flipped upside down, somersaulting. Mentally, I put that on the "Hell No" list, and pulled Angela away as soon as she said, "We should get on that one."
"You can," I said, cringing at the sight of the lunatics who were willingly riding that circle of insanity. "If I do, I'll puke all over my Picture-Me-Naked boots and ruin any chances of whoring it up later."
"Yes, that would be a shame, wouldn't—aaaaah!" she screamed, whirling around so fast, I had to dodge her purse from swinging into my face. Ben had snuck up behind us and was now clutching Angela's waist, practically dying of hilarity from having spooked her.
"Damn it, Ben!" she shrieked, smacking his arm. "A simple 'hey ladies' would have done nicely."
"Not as much fun," he said with a grin, kissing her cheek. "So, what would have been a shame?"
Angela fixed her hair and slid her purse strap back onto her shoulder, granting me a teasing smile. "Just that Bella wouldn't be able to—"
"Tolerate seeing Jessica or Lauren tonight," I interrupted, pulling a thought out of my ass and widening my eyes.
Ben squinted, knowing me too well by now. "Oh," he replied with good-humored skepticism. "Yeah, that would be a shame. Especially since they'd be whoring it up and all."
I sighed, wanting to zip my face into my faux-leather coat. "You overhear way too much embarrassing stuff that comes out of my mouth," I whined, then quickly turned around to see if Edward was behind me, planning to mirror Ben's actions and grab my ribs—also to see if he had been listening in, too. But there was no one but scattered strangers.
"He's over by the picnic tables," Ben said, reading my mind and pointing over our shoulders. "I was on my way to the bathroom."
"I'll walk with you," Angela said to him, giving me a gentle push toward the food area. "Meet you in a few minutes?"
Nodding, I lightly shoved her back, smirking at her wily, wagging eyebrows. I made my way through the crowd, bypassing small children and rowdy adults, and lingered by a small condiment bar as I searched the rows of tables with eager eyes.
Edward was standing against a chain-link fence that was separating the fair from the forest, looking exquisitely attractive in the midst of everything average. As if to prove my point, there was a little girl about two years old at a table across from him, waving and beaming at him like he was the best thing she'd seen all night despite the festivities around her. He smiled back with a returned gesture, which made her duck her head before waving again; the scene was so cute, it gave me a warm feeling in my chest. When his eyes lifted and met mine, I had to remind my feet to move.
"Hi," I said as I approached him, noticing that he was dressed in a new shirt, too, or at least one I hadn't seen before. He had color in his cheeks as though they'd been sun-swept in my absence, and his eyes were shining in a strange way, but still a radiant clover.
"My God," he said, reaching for my hand with one of his and curving the other on my waist. "You are just…"
He didn't complete his thought; I could almost feel the sweep of his gaze over my body like a stroke of a paintbrush against the thick of a canvas.
"It's different, right?" I asked him, running a hand over my jacket. "I look—"
"Insanely beautiful," he finished. I felt my stomach stir with pleasure and started to shake my head, trying to think of a witty comment. "Don't even. I took one look at you and sobered up."
"Ah, so that's it," I said, grinning as I moved closer, looking up at him. "You've been drinking, huh?"
He briefly glanced to the side before smiling. "Somewhat. Sorry."
"I don't care," I said, amused. "Did you save me any?"
"Pumpkin ale?" he said, clasping his hands behind my shoulders. "No, but I can get you a bucket."
I laughed into his chest before gazing at him, feeling lively. "You had a bucket of beer? No wonder you think I look good."
Edward blew out a small breath, making my hair ripple as he ducked his head. "Ben and I split one of those mini plastic things. And I'm buzzed, not out of my mind. You're stunning."
I slid my hands inside his coat and snuggled into the downy fabric of his shirt. He smelled different—a cocktail of autumn wind and roasted sugar, and a faint tang of cinnamon and clove. I wanted to bottle it or swim in it, and for an embarrassing second, I wanted to lick his face.
"Thank you, but I think you're outshining me at the moment," I said once I had straightened. "You look edible." Oh, shit. I shut my eyes, grimacing. "I meant incredible. But now that I said it, you do smell sweet, like…"
"A cinnamon pretzel? Because I got hit by one," he said with a laugh. "A guy was waving to someone and it flew out of his hand. Into my face."
I laughed. "Well, better cinnamon than one covered in mustard."
"True. Come here, you might still be able to taste it."
When he leaned down to kiss me, my fingers curled into his side and I felt pleasantly warm, forgetting the surrounding crowd of people who were probably ogling us or shaking their heads in disapproval at our teenage-like behavior.
He smoothed my hair after and held my hand, starting to walk. "Come on. Let's get you something to eat before you bite me."
Ben and Angela caught up with us in the next few minutes and we all partook in pit beef sandwiches (Ben made me nearly choke as he teased that it was moose) and the seasonal favorite, pumpkin ale. The beer was burnt orange and, sure enough, came in buckets. It lived up to its name, tasting like fizzy pumpkin pie, and after three-fourths of a pail, I was giggly. So was Angela, who tugged our hands and gestured toward the rides after the buckets had nearly run dry.
"Let's get on something," she suggested with a grin.
"You've got to be kidding me," I said, staring up at the sinister-looking upside-down ride. "After drinking?"
"Not that one," she said, turning my shoulders in the opposite direction. "How about the Ferris wheel? You guys aren't afraid of heights, are you?"
She took Ben's hand and led him directly to the ride, which looked picturesque with its brightly lit bulbs against the pink and gray sky—a mix of a cotton candy sunset and charcoal clouds.
Edward tucked his arm around my shoulder as we followed. "I'm not. Are you?"
I shook my head, and for some reason the idea of riding in the colorful seats built for two, along with the potential cliché of getting stuck at the top all by ourselves, made me laugh.
"What's so funny?" he asked, amused at my tipsy giggles.
"This is just so cute and cheesy, getting on the Ferris wheel with my boyfriend," I said.
It only took a second for me to semi-panic as I looked at him with wide eyes. Aside from the one minor time that Jacob had let it slip on the beach over a week ago, Edward and I hadn't ever used titles.
"Uh… That just came out," I confessed.
He stopped walking, pausing to grant me a curious stare. They seemed almost aquamarine from the midway lights. "Aren't I?"
"Are you?" I echoed, suddenly a bit more clear-headed with the wind in my face and the look on his.
"Well… I know we haven't discussed it," he said, reaching to pull at his collar before entangling his hand in my hair, his fingers brushing the nape of my neck. "But I think of you as my girlfriend. I just haven't said it out loud."
His girlfriend. Me. My mouth stretched into a smile.
I stood on my toes, my breath showing in ghostly puffs as I neared his lips. "Well, okay then." Our kiss was quick and light, and we both laughed, making me want to pour the sound into another drink and feel a deeper intoxication.
By the time we made our way to the Ferris wheel, Ben and Angela were already riding in circles, whipping up into the air and waving to us like silly kids. A guy with the name Eric on a crinkly nametag barred us into a metal seat, and soon enough we were moving up, higher and faster than I had expected. The wind gusted around us and I huddled closer to Edward to stay warm. The rushing movement combined with the affectionate feel of his arm around my shoulders was exhilarating, and for a while we simply sat, enjoying the view.
Maybe it was the alcohol, but as we made another ascent to the highest point of the ride, I started feeling capriciously chatty. "You know, my whole name makes no sense. Bella means beautiful and swans are graceful. I think I should have been named Dorcas Tumbleweed."
Edward snapped out of his daydream and rolled his eyes. "Dorcas means gazelle, you know," he said. "Aren't they supposed to be graceful?"
I curled my lip, fighting a snort. "How do you know this stuff?"
"I went to law school." He purposefully stuck his nose in the air, pretending to be pompous.
"Oh, yeah? Did you sleep with a professor named Dorcas? Get a little extra credit and learn all about her name?" He literally bit back a smile, so I reached over and pulled on his bottom lip, freeing it from his teeth. "Stop doing sexy things, you tease. You're doing that on purpose."
Wow. Apparently, my verbal filter was drunk, too.
"Maybe," he said, leaning over until his lips barely brushed mine. "Do you know how many times you do that a day? Payback, honey."
"Honey?" I barked in hilarity, leaning back far enough to make our seat swing. I quickly gripped Edward's arm for stability. "You know, Mike Newton called me that once."
He scoffed humorously. "Well, at least I'm sanitary and haven't needed to set crab traps in my pants."
Even before he finished his sentence, I was laughing so hard, it was a shock I didn't cause our seat to flip over. He laughed, too, and as we rode higher, our giggles slowly calmed and faded into breathy sighs. We were gently swaying, stopped at the top of the ride, and as funny and corny as it was, I was distracted. At the moment, Edward looked more like his old self from the picture he'd shown me of his family. The small smile on his face, free of care, was more scenic than the evening sky. And there was something about him—a glint in his eyes, maybe—that was colorful and more animate than I'd seen before.
"What are you thinking?" I asked, unable to contain my curiosity.
He took a few moments, running his hand over his hair and breathing in the night air before he answered. "I'm thinking… I'm happy."
I supposed some girls might feel elated at the sight of their boyfriends breaking out gifts of new jewelry or roses. Maybe even concert tickets or dinner on a rooftop elicited girly screams of joy. But with two words, Edward caused a flood of delight to flow through me like a drug—an ardent kind of gratification. His eyes spoke a more profound message and I could read the rest of his silence as clear as day. I knew that while he'd certainly felt happy and comfortable at times, it had usually been shadowed by a darker demon that haunted him inside and out. But presently, I could tell that he meant what he was saying without hindrance or hesitation.
"Happy," I repeated, and I wasn't sure which one of us felt it more. I tried to tone down my ridiculously wide grin but I didn't do a good job.
"Completely." He pulled me closer and kissed my forehead. "I haven't said that since—" He didn't finish, but I knew what he meant. "I just feel like I can finally breathe. I don't dread the days like I used to. I feel…"
My hand lingered on his leg before I slid it up to his chest, letting my fingers play with his collar. "You feel alive?" I did. Every inch of my body felt warm and fluttery, as though brushed by the wings of a hummingbird.
"Like never before."
"So do I."
The smile he gave me was so brilliant and his lips were so perfectly soft and tender against mine, I half expected to burst into scintillating pieces and travel to the sky to be a part of the burning stars. I rested my head on his shoulder, snuggling into him and wanting to hold on to this moment, to freeze and frame it, and know that he and I could feel like this forever if time allowed.
When the ride ended, we met back with Ben and Angela. They handed us thermal cups of something called Black Magic, which tasted like hot chocolate but was definitely alcoholic. It burned when I swallowed, but it was dark and bold and spiced, like something forbidden, and I was honestly turned on by the taste.
Apparently, I wasn't above admitting that the combination of chocolate, Edward, and alcohol was enough to make me a lusty mess, because I murmured in Angela's ear, "I can't stop undressing him in my mind. Don't let me drink any more. I might bring this fantasy to life and get us all kicked out."
She and I had been walking closely with each other, arms around each other's back, and she leaned her head to mine as she laughed. "Fantasy, huh? Do you mean it hasn't happened yet? Holed up on that fourth floor all by yourselves and you haven't even gotten his shirt off?"
"We've been going slow," I said, leaning on her for support. I may or may not have been a little bit drunk. "But earlier, before you picked me up, we were… I don't know. I don't know, Ang. I'm going a little crazy. This isn't healthy. Is it?"
"Well, you're not humping his leg in public yet," she smirked.
"True, I'm not Jess—oh, holy shit. Speak of the VD devil."
Because there she was, in all her leather lace-up glory, making my outfit seem fit for church: Jessica. She was with a small group of people, not including Lauren, which was a surprise, but I recognized Mike Newton in a ridiculous frat-boy getup: a college jacket—sleeves pushed up—a polo shirt with the collar popped, a visor across his blond hairline, and flip flops. It was a chilly autumn day at a fair by the woods; that boy really belonged in a circus.
Angela turned to look where I was staring and snorted a laugh—probably accidentally. She was a little drunk, too. Edward and Ben practically walked right into us, as we'd stopped walking so abruptly, and gave us questioning looks. I pointed over to one of the refreshment stands and Angela groaned into Ben's chest. Over the course of the week, Angela and Jessica had a bit of a falling out, probably due to all the time Angela had spent with me. Ang wasn't bothered, as she said she and Jessica hadn't been close since high school, anyway—that, and the fact that she'd rather keep her company with people who weren't outright bitches.
Jessica noticed us then, her glaring expression as cold and cutting as the wind. I clasped Edward's hand tightly, fighting a crushing urge to yell, "Red Rover, Red Rover, send Stanley Slutbag right over!" just for an excuse to knock her on her ass again. He reciprocated the squeeze, then wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him, my back to his chest.
"Aww, look at you, all protective," I teased. Though, the sight of him holding me was making Jessica's eyes wider than blimps. I guessed extra protection was good in case she decided to punch me.
"Just trying to make sure you don't catch any germs," he replied. "I hear 'bitch' is highly contagious this year. Let's walk this way."
Ben and Angela followed and we all sputtered with laughter as Ben uttered, "Newton looks like a Ken doll."
"Well, Jessica is pretty much Battle-Ax Barbie, so that's fitting," I said. I couldn't help turning around to see if she was still watching us, but Jessica had grabbed Mike by the hand and pulled him to the picnic tables, chattering away about God-knows-what. He was hardly paying attention, as he was checking out the ass of a girl in front of them.
"You know, my first impression of Mike made me think that he's one of those guys who'd tell a girl he'd make their Tootsie Roll right into the Milky Way," I said close to Angela's ear, and she snickered.
"He called himself 'The Cherry Popper' in college," she responded in a hushed voice, causing me to nearly choke on my own spit. "I know. King of cherry pop to the jester of crabby cooches."
We burst into tipsy laughter, gasping for breath, and the boys stared at us like we'd just stumbled off of a booze cruise.
Edward gave Ben a knowing look. "I think you girls could use some water," he said, releasing my hand and digging for his wallet. "Ben, you want anything?"
"Water's great, thanks," he said, nodding. Edward jogged away and we wandered a few feet over to a radio station booth that was playing audio of what I assumed was a football game. Ben, of course, was immediately sucked in, asking someone what the score was and keenly listening.
Angela grinned at him before whispering to me, "If I ever marry him, at least I know we'll have an awesome TV. I'm sure all the sports games are going to require high-definition."
I smiled. "Just like my dad. A flat-screen was the first thing he bought when he moved to Florida. He watches every kind of sport known to man. Even skiing."
"Oh! We should all go get a cabin up in Hurricane Ridge," she cried eagerly, turning to tug on Ben's coat. "Babe, want to? I want to see how you handle yourself on a pair of skis."
Ben smiled back and narrowed his eyes at me. "I'd like to see Bella on a pair of skis."
I snorted. "You mean you want to see me tumble down a mountain."
He winked and turned his attention back to the game.
"I'm sure Edward wouldn't have a problem holding you up," Angela giggled, shooting me a devilish grin. She was clearly under the spell of the Black Magic, too.
I felt slightly dizzy and leaned against the radio booth, cracking a smile. "I could probably handle snow tubing."
"That would be so much fun," she continued, musing. "Ski lodges, sweaters, hot chocolate… bear-skin rugs… think of the possibilities."
I laughed, but Ben was suddenly distracted from the radio by her words. "Hey, did you guys hear about what happened at that ski resort in Montana?" At the shake of our heads, he continued, "You just reminded me. It's crazy. A group of skiers was attacked by bears or something. No survivors. It's all over the news."
At the lodge, our rooms didn't have televisions and the only computers were used by staff. Between limited technology and spending time with Edward, even if there had been a new president elected, I wouldn't have known unless it came from a newspaper or word of mouth.
"What? When?" Angela asked, the silly grin on her face disappearing.
"Yesterday, maybe?" he said, tugging at his hair. "I don't think anyone has a clear story, though. One of the resort's employees swears none of the animal parameter fences were crossed—they have cameras or whatever. But one of my buddies' cousins works as a mortician over there. He said the blood loss was bizarre. They must have been shredded, like…" He stopped, presumably because of our shocked expressions. "Well, I guess the signs pointed to an animal attack."
I zipped my coat a bit, feeling my skin prickle and frowning at the familiarity of the thought. It sounded much too similar to something I really didn't want to think about. "That's terrible."
"Anyway, it's weird," Ben continued. "I mean, bears go into hibernation up here in October, but it's not impossible that some could still be roaming around, but still not typical. And there were eleven people. You'd think someone would have been able to outrun them, you know?"
She and I nodded, and we all stood quietly as the sounds of others' carefree chatter echoed around us.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to kill the mood," he apologized, pulling Angela into a comforting hug and squeezing my shoulder. "Maybe we could skip the mountains and go to the Bahamas. We could get on jet skis instead."
I forced a smile. "Sure. Watching me wipe out during water sports is much more fun than seeing me faceplant into the snow, anyway."
Thankfully, my self-mockery was enough to make them laugh. Just then, I saw a glimpse of Edward walking back. I tugged on Ben's sleeve, getting his and Angela's attention.
"Guys, do me a favor?" I said quietly. "About the bear attack? Don't tell Edward."
It made me feel guilty to say such a thing. He wasn't a child, but the image of him shaky and sweaty after his nightmares was still too fresh in the back of my mind. And this wasn't a big secret that involved him, after all. It was just bad news that he didn't need to hear.
Even though they didn't have all the facts, Angela and Ben didn't give me strange looks or question my words; they merely nodded their understanding. At some point, without going into detail, Edward had mentioned to Ben that he'd lost his parents, and he'd given me the 'okay' to tell Angela about his panic disorder.
"On the chance that it happens while we're out with them," had been Edward's reason, though he assured me it rarely happened at random. Usually, there was a trigger that incited his anxiety. And animal attack or not, I figured hearing about the latest slaughter of a group of people wasn't the best thing for him to discover.
To break the somewhat uneasy air, Ben suddenly grabbed Angela's waist for the second time that evening. His act caused her to erupt with shrieking giggles, which were contagious, and I yelped as Edward walked up behind me and gave my hair a tug.
"You didn't give them a hit of something illegal, did you?" he asked, passing out bottles of water.
Ben grinned. "Girls, man. These noises are built in."
We passed the time by walking around with plenty of continued laughter, for which I was glad, and even a few of the games grabbed our attention. Angela and I tossed darts at balloons, making me think fondly of Mr. Miller, and the boys threw long-shot basketballs for bragging rights. Soon enough, it grew darker and the clouds faded from attractive to somewhat threatening, and we all made the unanimous decision to head out and try to beat the rain. I had my head on Edward's arm as we moved toward the exit, eyes closed, feeling warm and fuzzy from all the alcoholic indulgences. I flinched as I felt someone's body smack into me.
"Oh, I'm sor—" I started to apologize, turning to face whoever I'd just collided with, and then fell silent. Of course, as fate would have it, it had to be Jessica 'My Boobs are Out All Night' Stanley. It was no wonder we'd bumped into each other; no one could walk straight with their chest swinging to and fro like that.
"Sorry," I finished, hoping she would stalk away.
No such luck.
"Watch where you're going, klutz," she spewed, eyeing all of us as though we were covered in manure—especially me. "You could have knocked me over."
Edward placed his hand on my back, looking as though he wanted to say something particularly unpleasant, but settled for, "Well, I see you still have that sparkling personality, Jessica."
"Yeah, some things don't change," I mumbled.
"Right, unfortunately, some things just don't go away," she said with a fierce glower in my direction.
"Well, why don't you be the one to rectify that then?" Angela said, surprising me with her bold tone of voice. Ben looked amused and put his arm around her with a rather proud smile.
"Oh, wow," Jessica laughed, shifting her eyes between them. "You're with Lamey Chaney? Your taste in people is like super, Ang."
Ben pumped his fist to his chest in a mock-stab motion, pretending to be wounded, and said, "Nice to see you, too, Jess." Before she could respond, he added, "Looks like the pimp's been good to you."
I had to bury my face in Edward's arm to hide my sputtering laugh since I didn't have the luxury or protection of duct tape over my mouth. Then I heard Jessica scoff. "Not as good as he's been to the little slut next to Edward."
I guessed she wanted to play Who's The Bigger Tramp.
Even though my reaction was only an eye-roll and a giggle, Edward clasped my hand to keep me grounded. "Jessica, get over yourself," he said. "Walk away."
She sneered. "Oh, Edward to the rescue, of course."
She walked in front of Ben and Angela, closer to me, and Ben mimicked pouring the contents of his water bottle over her head. I almost nodded, daring him to do so before he took a sip.
Clearly, Jessica thought she wasn't being the least bit pretentious because she took one more step and pulled the cliché hand-on-hip move with her fake fingernails digging into her leather pants. "This is one big fairy tale to you, huh, princess?"
I knew she really wasn't worth it, but I'd had quite enough of her fucking mouth. "Yeah, it's called Bibbidi Bobbidi Blow-It-Out-Your-Ass, bitch."
Water sprayed from Ben's mouth like a small volcanic eruption, narrowly missing Angela. She burst into laughter and hid behind Edward, who gaped at me in shock before breaking into the most adorable, rewarding smile I'd ever seen. I proudly turned away from a dumbfounded Jessica, whose mouth was wide open in anger, and squeezed Edward's hand. He quickly led me away before she could even think of a response.
"I can't believe you said that," he said, laughing as we continued walking. Ben and Angela followed closely behind us, still in hysterics.
"Black Magic makes me bold," I giggled to Edward as we neared the exit. He paused to brush hair out of my eyes as Ben and Angela stopped to duck behind a phone booth, engaging themselves in a partly public lip-lock.
"Is that so?"
"Apparently," I said, interlocking my fingers with his and wanting to go somewhere private so I could show him how bold. But… I had to pee. "Okay, do you mind being on bitch-watch while I go to the bathroom? I've had all these drinks and I feel like I might explode."
Evidently, I didn't care that bladder talk wasn't sexy.
"Sure. But wait, before you go…" He hooked his fingers through my belt loops, pulling me closer, and the way his thumbs grazed under the hem of my shirt made my skin tingle. "Are you really not wearing underwear tonight? Or were you just saying that because you have on something embarrassing like My Little Pony?"
I pressed my lips into a tight line, shaking my head. "Thin ice, pretty boy," I said, gently pushing him away and turning toward the public restrooms as I called over my shoulder, "And no ponies. Carebears. Hot pink, glittery ones that want to hug you."
I could hear him laughing as I disappeared into the bathroom.
-:-
"Are you ready?" Edward asked, gripping my hand and steeling me for the obstacle we were about to face. This was serious business—we would only have a few seconds before being completely taken over by the enemy more than we already had.
I took a deep breath. "It's only fifty feet."
"Maybe sixty," Ben said, his voice serious.
Edward glanced at our destination again. "Or sixty-five."
Angela leaned over and gave me a small, one-armed hug and ruffled Edward's starkly wet hair. "Well, nice knowing you guys. Hope you make it out aliiiive." At the end of her words, she ruined the gravity of our situation with a slew of giggles.
In the few minutes it had taken me to go to the bathroom at the fair, the sky decided to open up and wreak havoc in the form of marble-sized raindrops. Ben had shouted over the raucous monsoon-like shower, claiming that he was sober and would drive—that his car was right around the corner—and we'd all scurried to the parking lot with the rest of the crowd. I was only kind of wet, but Edward was drenched. He, of course, had to be chivalrous and strip off his coat, holding it over me as we ran, which left him dripping wet… and drop-dead gorgeous. Now we had no choice but to hightail it out of the car and into the lodge, and be poured upon once again.
We said our goodbyes to Ben and Angela, and on Ben's comical count of "One, two, three, go!" we jumped out of the car and ran toward the front door.
The torrent of water had just grown stronger and I could barely see where I was going as I felt water rush over my face and seep down my neck. I screamed as lightning crisscrossed a patch of sky, and half-slid over a puddle before Edward grabbed my hand and stopped me from falling. We both practically crashed into the oversized bear statue as we got to the door, laughing hysterically.
"Thunderstorms in November?" I gasped as we paused under the awning, safe at last. For some reason, this was super funny to me. "Where's the snow?"
He wiped a stream of rain out of his eyes. "In Antarctica, where the penguins play."
"Hey." I playfully grabbed his collar, but he shook his hair and sent beads of water flying into my face, making me shriek.
He opened the door for us and I mock-pouted as he put his finger to his lips and gestured for me to hush, seeing as we were entering the Elderly Zone. We wiped our feet and shook our coats, trying to leave most of the rainwater on the floor mats instead of dragging it through the lobby. Despite our not-so-quiet entrance, most people were too wrapped up in their own conversations to pay attention to us. As usual, Doris and some other servers were bustling about, calling out 'goodnight!' to retiring guests.
It wasn't exactly a surprise when she noticed me and Edward standing in the open doorway like two drowned rats, and yelled, "Lordy be! Look at you two! Hurry up and come inside before you catch your deaths! Or get sizzled by that storm!"
She hurried over and grabbed both of us by the hand. "What a time of year for the angels to be bowling up above!" she exclaimed, pulling us further inside. "Come over here, I'll take your coats."
We handed them over, but not before Edward fished inside the lining of his, pulling out the bright yellow letter I'd written him and enclosing it in his fist.
"Something important, dear?" Doris asked him with kind eyes as she hung up our coats on a communal rack.
"Yes, I like to keep it close," he answered, giving me a small smile. It was a simple and sweet gesture, making my blood rush and my heart skip a little. In my still semi-tipsy state, I hoped my floozy face wasn't showing too badly.
A grumble of thunder echoed throughout the room and Doris scrunched her face at the smallest flicker the lights gave. "Well, to be safe, you might want to keep one of these close, too," she said, reaching to grab from a pile of flashlights on her desk. She handed one to Edward, adding, "Just in case. Wouldn't want you kids to end up in the dark up on that top floor all by yourselves!"
She gave us a wink and I couldn't help the half-laugh, half-snort that came out of me. "In case the lights do go out, there's no need to worry—we'll do our best to get the power back. Just stay put and be careful, dears!"
I smiled sheepishly, having a feeling that piece of advice was meant more for me than Edward.
"Oh, I just put new towels in your rooms, so there should be plenty to help you dry off!" Doris continued. "So scoot, before all that cold soaks to those young, healthy bones of yours!"
We waved goodnight and I snickered as we climbed the stairs. "You know, most of the time I think of Doris like a grandmother. Only it's funny because she's like a grandmother who hopes I get laid."
Edward grinned. "Well, she did give us only one flashlight to share. I'll bet she thinks you already have."
I laughed, unsure if I was more embarrassed or excited at the idea. Though, it was more cringe-worthy to wonder if the whole lodge was already speculating on whether or not Edward and I were doing the horizontal hump.
Probably.
I grabbed onto Edward as we reached the fourth floor, feeling myself tilting sideways. "Whoa," I said, falling face-first into his chest. He caught me, clutching me tightly as I whined and giggled. "I'm such a lightweight."
"You hide it well," he said, pressing his lips to my hair. "Do you feel all right?"
I felt fan-fucking-tastic.
"Mm-hmm." I stayed pressed against his wet shirt, slowly breathing in the scent of rainwater and amber. It wasn't long before his hands brushed the back of my neck, coaxing me to look up, and took hold of my face. I moved, feeling my back press into the plane of the wall as his mouth found mine, sweet and soft. Even better was the pressure of his hips right over my stomach, leaning and teasing, and I curled my fists into the back of his shirt.
A thought struck me then, one that I'd been waiting for—one that was both anxious and exciting. We were alone. We were tucked away on the highest floor, away from everyone else. And we were kissing. And my hands had found their way under his shirt somehow. I didn't remember doing it, but there they were, sliding up his back, which was cool and damp from the rain. As I brought him closer, warmth grew under my fingertips and palms like a layer of sunlight. He made a sound, a hum of encouragement before sweeping his tongue against mine, tasting like spice and candy. I felt light and eager, and if I hadn't been so caught up in the invigorating pull his mouth had on me, I would have been panting impatiently into his neck, begging for him to lower his hips, my breath hot on his skin—oh, wait.
Oh my God. My breath.
I quickly slipped my hand between our lips, suddenly a lot more sober and very, very aware of the slightly acidic taste on the back of my tongue. I was kissing him with after-alcohol breath and that was gross. It was hard to notice, seeing as how he tasted so good and so sweet, while I was likely reeking of a bar rag.
"I taste like alcohol," I explained to his quizzical face, closing my mouth to contain whatever I might smell like. My Crest toothpaste promised twenty-four-hour fresh breath. More like twenty-four-hour lies!
Edward cracked a smile. "You taste good," he replied, lowering his head to brush his mouth by the hollow of my throat before bringing his lips back to mine.
I resisted, now self-conscious. "You're being polite." Even so, I couldn't believe I'd just cut short a hip-hugging kiss of perfection.
He narrowed his eyes, pouting his lips a bit. "So, you'd like a moment to brush your teeth? Or are you trying to say goodnight?"
I quickly shook my head. "No, no. It's—I just—yes. Toothpaste. I need some."
What I needed was a smack in the face.
"Are you sure?"
I reached to tangle my fingers in his hair, afraid I was coming across like a complete buzz kill. We'd already had the very quick, non-detailed confession that neither of us was a virgin, so at least he knew that wasn't an issue. "I'd rather kiss you with fresh breath, not 'drunk tongue'. How did you manage to taste like sugar after all we had to drink?"
He shrugged and tapped his lingering fingers on my waist. "Gum? Good hygiene?" I lightly shoved his chest and he laughed, breaking away. "It's okay. We should change, anyway. You want to come over and hang out after you deodorize your mouth?"
"You are not as cute as you think you are," I said, making him smirk. "I'll have to think about it."
"Sure, you do that," he answered, bending to retrieve the flashlight and letter he must have dropped in our moment of kissy-kissy, then reaching into his pocket for his keys. He disappeared behind the wooden frame with one last flash of his pretty, white teeth, and I took a moment to breathe.
'Come over and hang out.' This was going to be a pivotal evening, all right. At least I thought so. I just hoped I wouldn't embarrass the hell out of myself.
As soon as I entered my bathroom, I quickly peeled off my wet clothes and hung them on the edge of the bathtub. I turned my attention to the towels and sighed heavily, smiling as I pressed my face into the first one I grabbed, the scent of lemon fresh in the fibers. It was like improvised perfume as I scrubbed my hair and body dry, grinning at the thought of Edward doing the same.
I brushed my teeth while holding on to the sink, not trusting myself to stand up straight without staggering sideways and crash-landing my bare ass in the porcelain tub. It was enough to try not to be startled by the ever-increasing thunder. The sky seemed to be at war, raging from above with loud cracks and roars as if boulders were splitting. If this kept up all night, I had no idea how Edward and I would manage to sleep.
I walked back into the bedroom and bent to rummage in one of my bags for a tank top, and all of a sudden, there was a low hum and a crackle of spark outside the window. I yelped, jerking back and barely managing to grab the edge of my bed before I nearly fell over. Then the lights went out.
"Shit," I whispered aloud, darting my eyes back and forth in the darkness. I stood still, listening for sounds on the other side of the wall, but all I heard was the pattering of the water pipes and rain on the roof. Deciding to go over to his room anyway, I started toward the door before realizing I was still naked.
"Shit," I said again, pulling the tank top over my head and ducking down, feeling along the floor for my bag with lightning as a two-second aid. I blindly grabbed what felt like underwear and yanked them on, and another ear-splitting boom of thunder made me jump.
Carefully and slowly enough that I wouldn't bump into the wall or stub my toe on anything, I made my way to the door. I decided to leave it unlocked since I didn't feel like doing a blind man's search for the key and stepped out into the pitch-black hallway. I felt my way in the dark, finally reaching the railing. I couldn't hear anything, but paused anyway, looking in what I thought was the direction of the staircase. I wondered if I should go down to the lobby to see if Doris needed help, even if she did say to stay in our rooms.
"Boo."
I screamed so loud, I hurt my own ears. My arms made sharp contact with something hard and I instantly jumped backwards. I was still pretty off-balance from the leftover alcohol swimming in my system, and the leap made me topple sideways and land on my ass.
"Bella, it's me!"
Edward, playing ghost-in-the-hallway. "Jesus, Edward, you scared the hell out of me!"
He was in complete hysterics. He felt for me, his hands bumping my chin and pulling my arms until I was off the floor and standing upright.
"Are you—are you okay? I'm s-sorry, I'm—" He was cracking up so hard, he could barely breathe. "I couldn't help it."
"You are not funny!" I hissed, pushing him away even though I was laughing, too.
"I'm hilarious." Edward was much stronger than I, and easily locked his arms across my chest, keeping me from escaping as he continued cackling like a madman.
"If I have rug burn on my ass, I'm going to punch you," I said, trying to wriggle out of his grasp, secretly loving the struggle. Then I froze momentarily, feeling a smooth brush of heat against my shoulders: bare skin. Oh, lord. He wasn't wearing a shirt.
Once he caught his breath, he let me go and kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry, really. Did you hurt yourself?"
"No, just my ego." I turned around and pinched his side for good measure, making him squirm. "But you just wait. I'll get you back."
"Ha," he said, ruffling my hair. "I'm getting you back, actually. You scared the hell out of me in the dark once. You called my name and I almost knocked over a bookcase. Down in the lobby, remember?"
I snorted. "Barely. Have you been plotting vengeance this whole time?"
"Old habits die hard," he remarked lightly. Another clap of thunder made me flinch and he slipped his hand into mine. "Come on, let's go get the flashlight."
We headed for his room, both of us feeling the wall and door before going through it. I walked sightlessly in the direction of the bed and climbed atop the covers as Edward fished around, finally locating the flashlight and clicking it on. The light was bright white, casting a faux-moonlit illumination in the shadows, but before I could ogle his shirtless chest, I laughed aloud when I realized what he was wearing.
Leprechaun boxers.
"Oh, well, top of the morning to you," I giggled.
"Yeah, you should talk," he said with a grin, pointing the flashlight at my lower half. Lo and behold, the pair of underwear I'd unseeingly grabbed and slid up onto my ass was none other than my penguin-printed panties.
I instinctively yanked my tank top as down as far as it would go, which wasn't much, and was now in double disbelief at seeing that I'd forgotten to put on a pair of shorts. "Uh… touché." I crossed my legs and grabbed a pillow, shielding the little birds from the light.
Edward set the flashlight right-side-up on the brick sill above the fireplace and glanced over his shoulder. "I was thinking of lighting a fire. Unless you'd rather play shadow puppets."
Smiling, I hooked my thumbs and flapped my fingers like wings. "This is all I have to offer, so a fire is fine with me." He crouched down to the front of the hearth and I slid over to the edge of the bed to watch. "I'd offer to help, but… I'd probably just get splinters and ignite the carpet."
"Not too many heavy winters in Phoenix and Jacksonville, huh?" he asked, sliding open the glass doors and dividing the wire mesh curtains, pushing them off to the sides. "Jumping into a swimming pool instead of hoarding firewood… It must have been brutal."
I could feel his teasing smile, even though I couldn't see it. "It was," I played along, unfolding my legs and letting them dangle from the mattress. "Once, I even got sunburned on Christmas Eve."
He chuckled as he reached for the small woodpile to his left and lifted a bulky, splintered piece onto the open grate. "I'm jealous. A few years ago, I was outside for only fifteen minutes and got frostbite."
"Fifteen minutes?" I slid off the bed, bringing half of the comforter with me and wrapping it around my shoulders. I knelt beside him, watching him blow a piece of hair away from his eye as he placed another log into the fireplace.
He nodded, beginning to place a few thinner pieces of wood between the gaps. "Mm-hmm. Maybe less. It was twenty below and I didn't realize my hat had a tear. I still have a scar on my ear."
I bit my lip, wanting to reach and find the scar he was talking about and trace it with my fingertip. Any of his imperfections would be striking to me. "What were you doing outside when it was twenty below freezing?" I asked, incredulous. I had been raised in temperatures that rarely dipped below the mid-forties, and that was in the dead of winter. If I'd been in his position, I would have died of shock.
He turned to look at me and his signature quirky smile was contagious. "Well, when your car's under two feet of snow, it's easier to take the L."
Leaning back on my heels, I grinned. "That sounds like so much fun."
He made a sputtering sound of amusement. "Fun?" he echoed. "What, freezing to death or public transportation?"
I playfully rolled my eyes. "The snow. I've never played in it before. Not even here. I was always back home when Charlie called to tell me he was snowbound."
"You might see some here," Edward said optimistically. "If we stay long enough. Well... depending."
I nodded. That was a talk for another time. I couldn't think about that yet, about how long I could possibly postpone going back to Florida—also how I could ask him to come with me. Determined not to slip into tricky conversation, I let the comforter hang off the side of the bed and moved behind him. I leaned on his back and rested my hands on his shoulders as I surveyed his practiced arrangement of the wood.
"You're good at this," I said, feeling silly making such an obvious comment, but I felt the need to fill the silence.
"I've had a lot of practice. I grew up with these," he said, inserting smaller bits of kindling in between the spaces in the wood. "When it snowed, I used to come inside and curl up in front of mine to thaw out."
I chuckled. "Like a puppy?"
He stacked two more pieces of wood on top of the pile and exhaled. "Exactly. And this," he said, brushing splinters off his hands, "is like riding a bike. I could probably set up one of these with my eyes closed."
He played piano, built fires, and caused me fanatical waves of heat and desire with one simple caress with those gifted hands, and as if to prove it, he reached back and gently stroked my cheek, clearly amused at my interest. His touch was the perfect combination of rough and smooth.
I sat to the side as he reached for the matches and struck a flame, igniting the kindling. Slowly, the blaze raised and crackled, radiating with warmth and spreading a vivid amber glow across the room. The newfound light painted our skin with golden apricot light, and that was when I really noticed his body. His every curve and ripple of muscle was highlighted and beautiful, like a handsomely carved statue basking in the sunlight. He leaned close to the hearth and gently blew on the flames, causing them to flicker and spark. They grew, and he smiled as he sat back and let out a breath, looking satisfied and comfortable.
God. I'd never wished so much for a camera as I did right then.
"What?" he asked, catching me staring at him for the hundredth time.
"I…" I folded my arms, feeling gooseflesh rise over my arms. "Nothing. Sometimes I get lost when I look at you, that's all."
"I'm… sorry?" he said.
"No," I said, playfully shaking my head. "It's not a bad thing. And no more 'I'm sorry'. I think you owe me for the past week."
Edward reached for my hand, pulling me closer, and I edged toward him, kneeling in front of him and sitting back on my heels. "What would you like?" he asked, running his hands over my arms, causing my goosebumps to multiply.
"Another vacation," I teased. "Somewhere cold, with snow. And real Christmas trees. I want to make a snowman."
"Did my frostbite story not scare you enough?"
"Where would you go, then?" I asked. I could feel the air sweep by our skin, the coolness of the room mixed with the waves of heat from the fire. There was still a gap between us and I wanted to close it.
"Somewhere where the drinks have umbrellas."
I moved forward again, positioning my knees on the outside of his hips as he slide his legs under mine, and I lightly sat back on his thighs and traced his collarbone with the pads of my fingers. "Anywhere in particular?"
"It depends," he said, rubbing the small of my back and gazing into my eyes, which pinned me in place and made my soul shiver. His touch was so smooth, he could have been trailing his fingers through water. "Are you coming with me?"
I wet my lips and scooted forward, only inches from introducing our little cartoon clothing. Blood was stirring and pulsing inside my body and I could feel it everywhere—an electric ripple of pleasure. "What would the difference be?"
"Without you, it would just be a beach." His voice was rough, crisp, and warm, like the sparking embers crackling beside us. "With you, it would be paradise."
One moment, I was staring into his green, gold-flecked eyes, and the next I couldn't see, my lids having fluttered and crashed. I was against him, kissing him and giving with my heart, my mouth, my soul. He gasped as I broke away to grab fistfuls of his hair, and he pushed his hand against my hip, holding me back.
"Bella," he said, sounding short of breath. "We don't have to do this, you know. I don't want you to feel obligated."
I slowly shook my head, trying to tell him that I had been neurotic earlier when I'd pulled away to brush my teeth. I wasn't afraid of this—or him. "No, I want this. I want you."
At his smile, he was a man so breathtaking that he was the reason why poetry was written, why music played, and why the sun rose. He was life, in and out.
"You're sure?"
He spoke faintly and I could tell I was wearing him down. I pushed past his hands and slipped my fingertips under his waistband, slowly sliding my hand across his stomach. His inhale was like music, and the fabric and folds of our clothes were not enough to block the heat that was between us or hide the fact that there were parts of him that were very much alive and well.
I was suddenly short of breath, too.
"Slow's hard," I whispered. Nice choice of words, Slick. "D-difficult."
"Yeah." His voice came out choked and he cleared his throat, the sound almost covered by the outside thunder, grumbling and rolling in echoing waves. It took a moment, but I finally felt his hands fold against my spine, a different pressure from each one of his fingertips.
"I trust you. I'm not scared," I insisted, leaning to kiss his neck, tasting and breathing him in. I felt amateurish yet bold as I trailed my tongue under his ear, unpracticed but devoted. I wanted him to want me, too.
He answered me with curled fingers that slipped under my shirt. He pulled, and the fabric bunched and caught my chin before stretching over my face and head, making us equal. Bare. It took a simple brush of his hand against my ribs, a rock of my hips, and we were locked in a moment of harmony, of braided longing.
My stomach tightened as I moved again, muscles of mine and his tightening under me, and I barely trapped a sound of hunger behind my lips. "Do you trust me?"
Edward nodded, his chest hot under my palm, vibrating with his heartbeat. I felt flushed as his eyes skimmed my body, letting his knuckles stroke over my navel, up to my chest. "Of course."
He pulled the comforter to the floor and lifted me towards the spilled blanket, and at long last, he leaned to kiss me, connecting us. I became lost in his arms, grasping his neck and letting my head hang back as he touched and circled spots that were both tender and craving attention. This had to be what it felt like to defy gravity: the anticipation of leaving the ground, heart pounding, adrenaline rising, and fiercely holding onto whatever was taking you higher. With slight pulls and quick tugs, we eventually uncovered our last bits of clothing and kicked them to the side. The brilliant flickers of amber-orange light provided us teasing glimpses of one another; he was exquisite, and I couldn't even find a moment to be shy or self-conscious.
"Wait," Edward said suddenly, slipping the little black hairband off his wrist, the one piece of me he always wore. He reached up and nimbly lifted the curtain of hair that had fallen into my face, capturing my thick strands in the twisted confines of the holder. "You're beautiful. I want to see all of you."
His words, his tone, his heart—all perfect. And his hands. As gentle as water, they were smooth, gentle, and slow, skimming the curve of my bottom, the hollow of my legs. I couldn't conjure my voice. Instead, I kissed him, hooking my legs around his waist and digging my heels into the small of his back, joining us intimately.
"God," he breathed, and I moaned as he rubbed against me, making me swell and sweat and ache for him. I rose up, down, giving and taking, and feeling him between me, hard and hot. "Please," I whispered in return, not above begging to have more.
I clenched his shoulders and sucked under his jaw, waiting, and my action was enough to persuade him. The storm outside was clipped with electricity, but I was on fire, too, as he filled me, fusing us with passion and fever.
Like a slow increase of volume, his stroke and motion accelerated, sang in sweeps of his thighs brushing mine and in the way his breath echoed in my ear. There was a fiery need for push and pressure, and we folded and pleaded in touches and whispers. His teeth were rough on my bottom lip and my fingers dug, scratching at the blades of his shoulders, and short gasps and low moans created a symphony of need, of absolute pleasure.
As we moved together, I was heartily aware of the slow dip of his hand, fondling in circles between my legs, and it only took seconds before I was lost in the moment.
On the brink.
On my back.
Oh my God.
He lowered himself to me, kissing my neck, and as my hands dug into his back, the moan that came out of his mouth made me come apart. My back arched and rose with my hips, and the world spun, colors blended, and the earth shattered in pieces of gratification. I trembled as I calmed, panting in short sighs, and looked up at Edward. I had the added bonus of seeing his face before he came, his mouth parted and eyes closed, tinted in the firelight.
He was magnificent. He was mine.
His body strained and shuddered, and he gasped as I tightened my rubbery legs around him, relishing in the feel of his release. Soon after, he lay on top of me, completely breathless. I drew my fingers through his hair, not having the strength to speak or thank him for the mind-blowing experience he'd just given me. He was quiet, too, except for the sound of his breath, but then he lifted his head and kissed my breast, my collarbone, moving up in small pecks until he found my mouth. His lips were still blazing, branding me.
"Thank God we're on a floor where no one can hear us," he said hoarsely, cracking a smile.
I giggled, making him shake on top of me, and pulled his head to rest on my shoulder. "That was amazing. I haven't done that since—"
July, to a pillow.
"It doesn't matter. You just—" I refrained from saying something cheesy, Disney-princess-like, such as 'It was everything I imagined it to be and more," and chose to kiss him instead. I rubbed his back, gently trailing my fingertips along his shoulders before I noticed a few, small welts. "Oh wow. I really got you."
"Yes, you did," laughing his words into my neck.
I wriggled under him, trying to get a better look. "Does that hurt? I'm sorry."
"I'm not. And no." Edward pushed himself up and brought me with him, silencing my apologies and protests with his hand. He positioned his back against the bed, facing the fireplace, and trapped me against him, wrapping us in the comforter. I could hear the chuckle in his voice as he said, "Shh. Don't fight me. If we're going to have Round Two, you'll need the energy."
If there was anything to not protest against, that was it. Feeling quite obedient all of a sudden, I relaxed, laying my head against his chest, and reached to tangle my fingers in his hair. "Deal."
Minutes passed as we sat, our sweat cooling, but still warm in front of the fire. I stuck my feet toward the grate, watching as licking flames danced behind my toes, and I sighed, pulling his arms tightly across my chest, and leaning my head against him. The soft folds of blankets and my cheek against his warm skin were comforting. He felt like home.
His lips brushed against my ear and in a mellow, sweet voice, he said, "I love you, you know."
I blinked, staring into the firelight with wide eyes before I slowly turned my head. My head skimmed his chin as I gazed at him in surprise, asking with a parted mouth and raised brows if I had heard correctly.
"I know," he breathed with a soft exhale. "It feels so soon to say. But it's not the first time I've wanted to tell you. And it's definitely not the first time I've thought it." I reached for him, gliding my fingertips across his cheek. His eyes found mine in seconds—flickers of fire mirroring in them. "But I do. I love you."
My thoughts were a whirlwind of emotions, full-to-bursting of surprise and affection, and when he started to tell me I didn't have to say it back, I twisted and knelt in front of him, stilling him with another kiss.
"I don't just love you, too," I said, finally breaking away and looking him straight in the eyes. "I have loved you. It's like you said—it's been in the back of my mind for a long time. I was just too afraid to say it out loud. Though, after tonight, I probably would have had more confidence." I smiled, feeling as though my lips couldn't stretch far enough. "But I love you. So much."
He was watching me intensely, with so many emotions present on his face and in his eyes, like a beautiful work of art. "You love me?" he repeated, his lips starting to curve, to grow into that adorable grin of his.
Nodding, I pulled the back of his neck until our mouths were inches apart. "I love you."
I never would have thought it possible, but Round Two was even better than Round One. Afterward, we were sweaty and sticky, and he read my mind as he whispered close to my ear, "Shower?"
We lit candles and placed them along the sink, creating another iridescent, ocher atmosphere, and the steam from the shower transformed into an orange mist. In the middle of Edward shampooing my hair, the lights flickered and came back on as though they'd never been off. I wiped soap out of my eyes and sighed, a little sad that our blackout was over.
"It was fun while it lasted," I murmured in disappointment, drawing a smiley face on the fogged glass.
Edward slid the shower door open and stretched his hand along the wall, giving me a playful smile. "It doesn't have to be over."
With that, he flicked off the light.
-:-
