"She's stable now," I hear Rosalie say. "But they want to admit her and run some tests, so you need to head up here. I'm sure she'll want Edward to take care of her, but they called in her other doctor, Dr. Callahan. He's supposed to be here soon."

I struggle opening my eyes, but eventually find the strength and look around, finding myself in a hospital room. Rosalie looks over, eyes widening when she notices I'm awake.

"She's coming around. I'll have her call you when she can talk. Bye, Emmett." She hangs up her phone quickly and takes my hand. "How are you feeling, Bella?"

I take a deep breath through my nose, taking in the extra oxygen before testing my voice. "Like shit," I say, barely above a whisper. "Wh-what happened?"

"Your ICD went off three times." She sighs. "When you lost consciousness, I was so worried. God, you must still be in pain."

I nod, still feeling the elephant on my chest as she hits the call button for a nurse. "Where are we?"

"Harborview emergency department. Dr. Callahan is coming, and you're going to be admitted for more testing."

"Where's Alice?"

She smiles sadly. "She's a bit of a mess, so I sent her for coffee to keep her occupied. She should be back soon though. Can I get you anything?"

I'm suddenly dying of thirst. "Water?" I ask as a nurse throws open the curtain, smiling when she sees me.

"Oh good, you're awake!" she says. "I'm Charlotte. How are you feeling?"

"She's thirsty," Rosalie says. "Do you know when Dr. Callahan will be here?"

"Hopefully soon. Are you in pain, Bella? I can give you some medicine, if you need."

I nod, wishing the pain in my chest would let up.

She smiles sadly. "I'll be right back with that and some water. Just rest, okay? You've been through quite the ordeal."

Rosalie finally sits down once she leaves but keeps hold of my hand. The nurse is back quickly with my water and pain meds, which go into my IV and help soon after. I feel completely drained and horrible that I ruined our day. I fucking hate this heart of mine.

Alice gets back soon after, looking like a ragged mess, which makes me feel worse. She quickly wraps her arms around me, thanking God I'm awake.

"You scared the hell out of us, Bella," she says. "I shouldn't have dragged you around the mall today. I'm so sorry."

I shake my head as tears form in my eyes. "It's not your fault. I'm sorry for putting you both through this and ruining everything. It seems like that's all I do."

"No, no, no," she says, wiping my tears. "This is not your fault. You didn't ruin anything, and you never have. Hopefully, the tests can give us some answers, and they can try to stop this from happening again."

"It won't stop." I sigh. "I'm so tired of living my life like this. It's hospital stay after hospital stay, and I just want it over with."

"You're going to get through this, Bella," Rosalie says. "It's only a matter of time until you get a heart, so you need to stay strong."

"She's right," Alice says as the curtain opens, and Dr. Callahan comes in.

I wish so badly it were Edward instead. I need him.

"I'm sorry to see you here, Ms. Swan," he says. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got kicked in the chest three times," I say. "How long are you going to keep me here?"

He scrolls through the tablet in his hands, grimacing. "At least, a few days. We need to do a heart cath, MRI, echo, maybe a stress test. Since the ICD went off three times, it's likely it could happen again. You're lucky you made it through this, to be honest. It easily could have gone the other way, but it looks like the ER staff have stabilized you for now."

"Will this get her a heart sooner?" Alice asks. "I mean, clearly she's getting worse. That has to mean something."

"The transplant list takes a lot of things into consideration. When the transplant team convenes, we'll discuss that, but right now, she's stable, and that's the most important thing. I spoke with Dr. Masen before getting here, and he's on his way. Together, we'll decide where to go next. Right now, the best thing you can do is rest, Bella. We'll get you upstairs as soon as a bed is ready."

I hate the idea of being stuck so far from home, but I'm glad Edward is coming. I just don't know if he'll be able to stay without raising eyebrows. And Emmett needs to work, so it's likely I'll be alone most of the time here, which honestly, kind of scares me. At least in Port Angeles, I have my family close by—even if Emmett does restrict their visiting.

This fucking blows, and I'm so tired of it all.


Thanks to May, Nole, Fran, Brier, and Meg for prereading and Sally for Beta'ing.