I'm moved upstairs, and Alice and Rosalie stay with me until Emmett and Edward arrive, making record time in getting to Seattle. They say they're sorry they have to leave, but I tell them not to worry about it. They both have families to get home to, and Emmett promises me he's not going anywhere, which I feel bad about.
"I'm sorry we couldn't get here any faster," Emmett says, hugging me so tight I almost can't breathe. "Are you in pain? Do you need anything? I grabbed your emergency bag and your laptop. Esme's going to feed Hamilton for you, so you don't need to worry about him."
"I'm okay," I say, feeling a little better after resting. "Can you have me transferred home?"
Edward shakes his head. "No, this is the best place for you right now. I'm going to do a heart cath in the morning to check on the damage. I'm worried at some point it's not going to be able to pump properly, but I don't think we're there yet."
I know what that means—a left ventricular assist device. It means end stage heart failure and death if I don't get a heart quickly. I'm not ready for that. I can't help the tears that form when I think about it.
"Hey, it'll be okay," he says, wiping my cheek as Emmett ducks his head. "Like I said, I don't think we're there yet. We'll know more tomorrow, but for now, the best thing you can do is rest. I booked a hotel room close by, but I'll stay here as long as you want me to."
"I'd rather us all go home. You both have patients to take care of."
Emmett shakes his head. "You're the only patient who matters right now. I'm so sorry this happened up here, but Edward's right—it's the best place for you."
"Hopefully, we can get you out of here quickly. Now, is there anything we can do for you? Since we're doing the heart cath, you can't eat or drink after midnight, but I imagine you might be a little hungry."
I'm really not, but I shrug, and Emmett starts listing off places he can get me something from, but I tell him a Caesar salad and a Coke is all I'm really up for.
"Got it," he says. "You'll stay with her, right, Edward?"
Edward nods, taking a seat beside me. "I won't leave her side," he promises.
Emmett kisses my forehead, and then leaves us alone. It's silent for a few moments, but I break it by asking for my purse.
"I kind of got you something; it's stupid, really, but I think it'll at least be useful," I say, digging in and pulling the scrub cap out. "Like I said, it's stupid."
He smiles, taking the heart rhythm-patterned cap in his hands. "I love it, beautiful. Thank you. I'll wear it tomorrow, just for you."
"Maybe it'll be good luck."
He nods. "I already feel like it is. I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you when this happened. Emmett and I definitely broke the speed limit, but if I could have been here sooner I would have. I was so worried when the hospital called me, and then Alice did, filling me in on the details. That was awful for you, but thank God the ICD got you back into a normal rhythm."
"Well, it hurt like hell. I don't know if I passed out from the A-Fib or the pain, but I was so scared. All I could think about was leaving everyone, and ... I don't want to do that. I don't want to hurt everyone when I die."
"You're not going to die."
"But I might," I say as my lip trembles. "And I'm going to leave a wake of devastation. Emmett will never be the same, and my nephews ..."
"Shh," he says, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling me into his arms. "I will not let you die. I won't lose you, Bella. God, it's the worst timing, but I love you. I love you so much, and I can't live without you now, so ... get the thoughts of death out of your head because it's not happening."
My head shoots up as his words sink in. I look into his eyes and realize he's being honest. Fuck, he can't love me. I can't leave another person devastated.
"Y-You shouldn't," I whisper. "Loving me is ... it's dangerous."
He wipes my tears, smiling as he leans in for a soft kiss. "I can't help my feelings, beautiful girl. It's impossible not to love you."
Do I tell him that I've fallen in love too?
Thanks to May, Nole, Fran, Brier, and Meg for prereading and Sally for Beta'ing.
