I don't see Edward before I'm taken down for the heart cath, and I'm nervous as hell while being prepped. The lights feel too bright, the sounds of monitors are too loud, and nothing I do seems to help. I try breathing deeply, but that too is difficult. I'm on the verge of a panic attack before I finally hear his voice when the door opens.
"How's my girl?" he asks, standing above me in a mask and the cap I got him. His green eyes crinkle in a smile. "Your heart's going a mile a minute. Are you okay?"
"Kind of scared, to be honest."
He takes my hand under the multiple warm blankets. "I'm going to take care of you, Bella. This is routine; you've done it before."
I nod. "Yeah, I know. I'm still a fit of nerves though. I don't want an LVAD."
"I highly doubt we're there yet. I just want to see how your heart is doing. This is completely routine, sweetheart, but we'll give you something for your nerves."
He asks the anesthesiologist for some kind of medicine, and it's not long before it's injected into my IV. I feel ... loopy but not quite tired as it takes effect. It's like a calm washes over me. Shit, I need this to go.
"I'm just going to give you some local anesthetic," Edward says, moving the blanket over my thigh. I'm really glad I shaved the other day. "Little pinch, okay?"
I barely feel a thing as I float, and he's starting the procedure before I know it. He talks me through it, but honestly, not much of it makes sense. I feel so loopy it's not funny, and I fall asleep here and there throughout it. When he says he's done, I'm shocked it's over so quickly, but then I look at the clock and realize almost an hour has passed.
"They're going to take you back to your room, and I'll meet you there," he says, clearly not smiling under the mask. "You did great, sweetheart."
I try to move my arm to grab his hand, but it feels like a thousand pounds, and he walks away before I can lift it, ripping his mask off as he goes.
That can't be good, but right now, I think I'm too high to care. I fall asleep again once I'm on a transport gurney and only wake up a little when they move me onto my bed. Emmett's here, telling me I did great as I blink to try and wake up.
"Ed-Edward was ... he was up-upset," I mumble. "I-I think something's w-wrong."
Emmett shakes his head, pressing a hand to my cheek. "I'm sure it's okay, Bells. You're just a little loopy."
I shake my head, knowing I'm right. "He said he'd meet me here. And he's not."
"He had to scrub out and dictate the procedure. Just rest, okay? He'll be here soon to tell us everything."
I do as he says and close my eyes again, hoping I'm wrong.
Thanks to May, Nole, Fran, Brier, and Meg for prereading and Sally for Beta'ing.
