Alex woke up in the early hours of the morning with Olivia still cuddled up next to her. Alex brushed a piece of Olivia's hair out of her face and just watched her for a moment. Alex loves these small moments of peace they get. Olivia blinked open her eyes as they focused on the pretty blue's that were staring down at her. Olivia briefly closed her eyes back, sighing deeply then she opened then back up and sat up against the top of the bed untangling herself from Alex.

"I'm sorry for overdoing it last night" Olivia mumbled towards Alex.

Alex gave her a look of sympathy and lightly grabbed one of Olivia's hands.

"It's okay, everyone needs to let off steam sometimes" Alex responded quietly.

"Still, Alex I feel like I've been such a mess since you got back my up and down moods, I just want you to know I'm grateful that you're here" Olivia tells her giving her a watery smile.

"You're grieving the loss of your bestfriend liv, everyone grieves differently but I'm here for you" Alex says reassuringly.

They sit in silence for a second then Alex goes to get up picking up her briefcase. Olivia watches in confusion.

"Uh Al-" Olivia starts her face scrunched up.

Alex holds up her index finger to tell her to hold on, she pulls something out of the case then sets it back down keeping the contents that she took out hidden. Alex sat back down on the bed facing Olivia.

"I know we still need time to disclose and it might not be the best time but I want you to know I'm ready when you are '' Alex slowly says and she pulls out a keyring that holds a single key on it. "It's a key for my place. I know we aren't at the move in together stage but I do want you to know you're welcome anytime" Alex says giving her a gentle smile.

Olivia stays quite a lot longer than Alex had hoped so her smile slowly starts dropping. Alex cleared her throat and lowered the keys back down into her lap.

"You don't have to say anything right now, I just wanted you to know the option is open, I know it's probably not the right time and it's only been a couple months since I've been back but when I said I'm here for you, I don't plan on backing out or leaving you alone. I want you to know I'm ready for this, for us, it's taken us a long time to finally get here and I'm not walking away from us again" Alex says confidently even though her heart is sinking with every moment Olivia stays sitting quietly staring at her.

"Alex I-" Olivia started looking at her with pitiful eyes.

"Liv, don't" Alex says, putting up her hand to stop whatever excuse was about to come out of her mouth.

Alex quickly removed herself from the bed, she sat the key on the nightstand by the bed and grabbed her clothes she took off last night to change in the bathroom. Alex slammed the door harder than she meant to. While Alex splashed water on her face and changed clothes she couldn't help but to think of the admissions Olivia said the very night before. How she wanted to have kids with her, didn't that mean she was looking for some sort of commitment to each other. Olivia flinched at the slamming of the door, she hung her head sighing. Olivia does want a life with Alex but all they have ever had were flings over the years nothing stable. Alex runs in and out of her life like a revolving door, she wants to protect her heart because she is feeling much more vulnerable these days but she doesn't want to ruin what she and Alex are building. Olivia runs her hands over her face knowing she needs to fix this and soon because they have been together for a year already the longest they've been since before Alex got shot all those years ago. Olivia picked up the key on the nightstand and her heart squeezed knowing how much they've grown since first meeting.

Olivia heard the bathroom door open and saw Alex holding her PJs in her hands. Alex put them in the hamper and gave Olivia a soft smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Olivia sat on the edge of the bed holding her hand out to Alex, which of course she grabbed. Olivia tugged on the hand pulling Alex in her lap. Oliva held up the key between them.

"This is a symbol of our future together, I want that future" Olivia starts off by reassuring her girlfriend.

Alex nodded knowing that there was more coming.

"That being said, most of our year together has been with you overseas, I know you said we aren't ready for the moving in together stage and I agree but I will take this to show you we will be ready because I'm not willing to let you go either" Olivia finished giving Alex a genuine smile.

Alex grinned back at her throwing her arms around Olivia's neck kissing her deeply.