Something Old, Something New

by Castlefan6

A/N: By Request, PRE-Series Hookup, SEQUEL to Diminished Recall. Picks up exactly where that ends. COMPLETELY AU except for the conversation that prompted this and the use of some character's names. For CeCe, Friend, and Co-Writer with Pen2Paper.

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only

I hope it's close to what you wanted.

A/N: Laurie's occupation was a songwriter, she said she had been lucky a few times. For the sake of this fiction, please assume the songs written by Diane Warren were her work, under her pen name of DW. Thx

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Chapter 12

Hartwell Lake

Hartwell Georgia

A/N: Lake Hartwell is a man-made reservoir bordering Georgia and South Carolina and encompassing parts of the Savannah, Tugaloo, and Seneca Rivers. Lake Hartwell is one of the Southeastern United States' largest recreation lakes. The lake was created by the construction of the Hartwell Dam, completed in 1962, and located on the Savannah River seven miles below the point at which the Tugaloo and Seneca Rivers join to form the Savannah. Extending 49 miles up the Tugaloo and 45 miles up the Seneca at normal pool elevation, the lake comprises nearly 56,000 acres of water with a shoreline of 962 miles. The entire Hartwell "Project" contains 76,450 acres of land and water.

Two Hours Later

Mike had taken her to a beautiful section of the lake, one where hardly anyone ever came, almost pristine with nature, even if the lake had been man-made. (See A/N) He had spent a lot of time since he moved on the lake, enjoying the peaceful quietness, and great fishing it provided. They had found his "Secret Spot" where the fish practically jumped into the boat over an hour ago, and the only thing moving was the small bugs across the water, and the wildlife in the wooded area surrounding the lake.

"I thought you said the fish just jumped into the boat, they knew you so well, Mike, guess you pissed them off," Kate kidded as she sat watching her pole do the same thing it had for the last forty-five minutes, nothing.

"Yeah, they don't like strangers, so I guess they can smell your cherry shampoo, and know I'm not alone. I mean I don't use that stuff, a bar of soap, and hot water, I still got all of my hair" he laughed,

"Yeah, you do have all of your hair, I just remember it being a darker color when we worked together, looks like the pepper got chased out by the salt" she laughed referring to his grey hair.

"Laugh all you want, I'm just glad I still have it after training so many recruits, it's no wonder it's more white than brown." He laughed,

Kate turned suddenly serious, "Yeah, I know I put you through hell, Mike, with my Dad, and then you taking the wrap for my screw up, I mean,"

"Look kid, eh Kate, I didn't take the wrap for your screwup, it was my job to make sure you learned, stayed safe, and didn't cause any harm to innocent citizens while catching the bad guys. You didn't screw up, I did." He said, still not allowing her to take the blame,

"Mike, I do need to talk to you about something, I mean, if you want to. I know I just can't waltz back into your life after 3 years, and just pick up"

"Why not? Did you change? Did I? Talk to me Kate, I knew something was bothering you from the time you got here.

"I'm still that obvious, I guess, huh?" She sighed,

"No, I just know your tells, I know when you're faking being happy, and I know when you are truly happy. I can tell the last three weeks were exactly what you needed; your laugh was back. I always loved to hear you laugh," He said looking out over the calm, blue water.

"OK, well, I figured the suspension or worse was coming, so I tried to map out what I could do after the NYPD. As you said, I've chased a ghost killer for a long time and spent a year in therapy, and almost lost my job over it.

"I think it's time I think of a long-range plan, I don't want to wake up someday and all I have is the memories of the chase and love that might have been, all because I was so absorbed chasing someone that I may never find.

"I mean I know my mother wouldn't want that for me, you told me when I first met you, the difference between success and failure was knowing that I wasn't going to win every day. I never forgot that Mike, I guess it grounded me after I had to go to therapy, and helped me accept that my mom wouldn't think I was a failure." She said, a tear falling from her eye,

Mike put his arm around her, and she gently laid her head on his shoulder, "You know you don't always have to do things alone or be the badass in the room, Kate. Knowing when to ask for, and accept help isn't a sign of weakness. You're right, your mom, hell your Dad didn't want you to do this, so I think it's time, not to give up, but to step back." He said softly,

"You told me that the third day we worked together, we had that string of robberies going on, and you said let's stop for a beer. I asked you if you were nuts we had bad guys to chase, and your reply has replayed in my mind a million times. 'Sometimes Kid, you need to know when to step back, let the dust settle, and then look at the case with fresh eyes,' "

Mike smiled, "Well, what I didn't tell you was that I was just as green a Training Officer as you were a cop, hell half the time I had no idea of what I was doing, I just tried to offer you common sense answers."

"Mike, you know you did a hell of a lot more than that, the academy taught us how to do paperwork and procedures, and you taught me how to be a cop, so please don't try to ignore just how important you were, are and will always be in my life." She said, pushing the envelope into the personal side ever so slightly, she looked out over the water, to take a breath, and prepare herself for Mike to push back on that.

"I just tried to do right by you, Kate, I mean I had a lot of recruits come through, but you were always special. I knew how you felt, I mean about me, and maybe it made me feel more like a good cop, but the truth is, Marie, had set me free to seek physical pleasure almost a year before I met you. I didn't think it would be fair to you, I mean, I'm so much older than you and"

She took a chance; she wasn't sure she would get the chance to ever do it again. She pulled his head down and kissed him gently. "Mike, that should have been my decision, you always protected me, but sometimes you have to risk it to get what you want in life. I wasn't asking for anything more than what you could give, I mean, I" She kissed him again, this time it was more comfortable, and felt natural.

"I know Kate, but I couldn't ask you to give up the search for your mom's killer, I didn't have that right, but I couldn't watch you burn yourself out doing it either, I cared too much about you to see you burn out.

"Hell, I have loved only two women in my life, one I had to watch slowly die a painful death, the other, I had to stand back and let her chase what she considered her obligation, her duty, and not say a word. It was almost as bad as watching Marie fade away from me." He said when they broke the kiss,

"I wrote you a letter after I retired, but never had the guts to send it, and by then you were living with the FED, so I thought keep your thoughts to yourself, she's with someone she cares about"

"Mike, why didn't you send the letter, I mean, I"

"For the same reason it took you this long to call, we both knew what could have been, but the timing was bad. Don't get me wrong, I talked to Marie about you, she knew how I felt and told me to seek you out when she was gone. She didn't hate you, Kate, she loved you for loving me, and for allowing me to honor my vows." He said softly, Kate's head resting on his shoulder once again, feeling at peace for the first time in a long time.

"Mike, eh, do, I mean,"

"Kate, I kept the letter, I'll give it to you when we get back to the cabin. Now, let's talk about what you wanted to ask, and what you should do about your career with the NYPD. Am I right?" He said as she smacked his chest gently, "Of course, you know me better than anyone." She smiled into his chest,

"Kate, you're a damn good cop who made a mistake, but I checked things out when you called me after the hearing. Castle got Boyle to cut the suspension down from six months, he wanted it down to 30 days, but Boyle wouldn't budge. Castle isn't who or what you think he is, he's a no-nonsense guy when it comes to cases, but he doesn't hate you. Lanie spoke on your behalf, and well, I guess you know that story." Mike said,

"Yes, I do, but I didn't know it was Castle that talked Boyle down, I think he was trying to get me to quit, knowing he couldn't fire me." Kate said, "Or so my TO told me to keep my cool," she smiled,

"So, WHAT is it that you want to do? I know you said something about law school, but do you want that or are you settling for a different job you'll end up hating." Mike asked

"I know Mike, but I'm limited in my choices, I mean, I'm a cop, I've always been a cop, what else do I know how to do?" She asked,

"That's not what I asked, I asked what do you want to do? If you still want to be a cop, then we work on a plan that when you return to the 12th, you can make it through, and Kate, I'm not going to shit you, it's going to be hell some days." Mike said as Kate remembered Mike had gone through something similar when he refused to throw her under the bus for a fuck up on the case. He had been busted down a grade and suspended, but he never let it show when he came back.

"I want to be a cop, maybe not always a detective but something to do in law enforcement," Kate replied, Mike smiled, and this time he kissed her,

"OK, we got that settled, now we have to work on the plan, for us as well as you, I mean, I don't"

"Mike, I want what you can give me, there's no one else in New York, and it's not that far to make it down for some vacation days, or if you want to visit, I mean"

He kissed her again, "I think we have agreement on that part, now since the fish didn't cooperate, let's go home, I've got a couple of steaks to grill," he laughed as she hugged him tightly, her eyes couldn't hold the water in anymore. "I'll give you your letter, it's not long, but, well, I hope you feel what I felt when I wrote it." He said as he dabbed her eyes dry,

They pulled up to the boat house, had the boat secured, and started to walk towards the cabin, this time, Kate put her arm around him, and he immediately did the same pulling her into him close.

Once they were inside the cabin, he reached into a cedar box, sitting on the mantle, pulled out an envelope, and handed it to her. 'Here's your letter Kate" he said softly, she kissed him and held him tight for a long time. "Mike, I,"

"I know Kate, I know, me too" As he held her tightly, tonight they had given the song playing on the radio confirmation, there truly were Two Less Lonely People in the World Tonight.

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12th Precinct

Same Week

It was another week working shorthanded for the homicide squad, Anne Hastings had been promoted to Lead Detective for a new squad, and Kevin Ryan had been transferred to her, to assist her growth, with a promise of leading his own team when things slowed down. Esposito had left New York, Kevin had tried to call him, several times, before stopping by his apartment, to find it empty. The landlord told him he had moved last month, and left no forwarding address with him.

It wasn't the good-bye Kevin wanted to leave him with, but what can you do when the guy doesn't answer your calls or even leave you a voicemail? The only information Kevin got once he had moved south, perhaps Florida, to some small town. It took some pull and a buddy in DHS, who accessed the postal record database to find that he had moved to Port Richey, Florida, population 16,728.

He had originally been hired as a part-time deputy, but after the scandal that caused the Mayor, Acting Mayor, Police Chief, and a Sargent all to be arrested and relieved of duty. Javi was the only one close to enough experience, even with a bad recommendation issued by NYPD, hidden by the acting mayor, he was promoted to Chief of Police. The title was almost as big as the department he ran, 5 full-time, and 4 part-time officers were the total police presence beside himself.

Kevin decided to let his former partner have some more time, it had to be an embarrassment, but let him tell his story to whom he pleased when or if he were ever ready. Today, he got handed another pop-and-drop case, the third this week, and they were severely hampered by a lack of manpower.

He checked his calendar, almost three more weeks before Beckett was due to return IF she returned. No one had heard a word from her, and she had been out of town, for over a month now. He knew she had been to her Dad's cabin before the suspension, but once she walked out of the hearing, no one had heard a peep about her location.

Lanie had used her emergency key to do a welfare check to be sure she wasn't in danger or had been harmed, after not getting any response for all that time. She found an empty apartment, spotless, with no sign of distress, and then she saw it, a letter addressed to her, on the table.

"Hi, Lanes,

"I'm sorry I haven't answered phone calls or texts, I had to get away from New York. I know you would come looking, thank you for caring enough for that, but I assure you I'm fine, better than fine actually. I had to get to a place where I can figure out what I want to do with my life, I can't do that here.

"I'll be back when my suspension is up, and I hope to tell you more about where and what I was doing then. For now, please trust me, I need this, my mental health needs this. Tell Kevin if he talks to Javi I have no ill feelings and I hope he'll call me sometime, perhaps when I get back. See you in well, whatever weeks remain on my suspension when you read this,

"Again, I'm sorry if I made you worry, I hope you understand.

"Talk soon,

"Kate"

Lanie opened her phone and called Ryan,

"What's up Lanie, did you find out where Beckett took off to?" He asked,

"She left no clues, nothing but she did leave a letter to me." She read it to Kevin, and when she got to the part about Javi, he had to interrupt,

"Yeah, about that Lanie, Javi moved to a small town in Western Pinellas County Florida named Port Richey, the population is just over 16,000, mostly retired or close to retired individuals." He said,

"Kevin, Esposito's nowhere near retirement, what the hell is he doing there?"

"Well, I guess it was one of the few departments that would give him a job after he mucked up here so badly. The irony of it was that after he started as a part-time Deputy Sheriff, the Mayor, Acting Mayor, and Chief of Police were all indicted and arrested. Javi was the only one remotely qualified to run the department. He's now the Police Chief," Kevin said,

"You have to be shitting me, Esposito as Chief of Police? I don't care if it was for a nursing home, do they know they got the wrong guy? I mean unless he's changed a great deal, which I doubt. I know Rick tried everything to make him stand down, but he had to try to kick his ass.

"You know Rick paid the hospital bill, don't you? Because he was suspended so was his health insurance, Rick paid the bill. I know he didn't want to hurt him, they said he only hit him once with a fist, most were open-hand slaps." Lanie confirmed what Kevin had heard.

"I know Lanie, Castle tried everything to get him to go back into the bar, or call a cab to take him home, but it was almost like Custer's last stand. All I know is if Rick did that damage with an open hand, I wouldn't want to tangle with him when he was trying to hurt me."

"You definitely don't want to do that Kevin, and that's all I can say. It's not my story, but at least Kate is OK. I just hope she comes back, this isn't like her, who the hell could she be with, you and I know that she doesn't have but a few friends" Lanie said,

"I guess we'll have to wait to find out, I just hope she comes back, God we need help up here. Talk to you later Lanie, thanks for letting me know." He said as he hung up.

She thought, well, she's safe, that's all we can hope for now.

TBC