I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER - JUST BORROWING
Cassi sat there outside the headmaster's office, listening hard. She was trying to glean anything she could from their hushed conversations. A sharp sting hit the side of her left thigh, and she jumped, hissing, "Shit!" as she rubbed it furiously.
Another sharp sting just above the last, and she jumped, clapping her hand to her mouth to stop herself from cursing. Glaring furiously at the door as she rubbed her injured thigh indignantly, she thought things that were sure to get her a reprimand from her mother if not a punishment.
Then it hit her…her mother. Unbidden flashes of memories she thought were long dead flew into her mind. Her smile, and her laugh, telling Cassi she was loved and cared for. Then her death and the way her eyes stared unblinkingly into nothingness. Tears began flowing down Cassi's face. She couldn't make the memories stop coming. Truthfully, she wasn't sure she wanted to. Her mother had been her whole life. Losing her and Bailey was the worst thing that could have happened.
She wasn't sure how long she sat out there silently crying, her heart aching so much so she felt she'd never be whole again. Her loss was palpable. It felt like it was on her very skin.
But she calmed as she began thinking of her mother's lessons. Her mother had always schooled her to try never to get overwhelmed by thoughts or feelings. "Feelings make you vulnerable." Her mother would say. If there was one thing she could not afford to be now, was vulnerable.
Cassi was wiping the last of the tears away when the headmaster's door opened, and Snape appeared. Looking down at her with a sarcastic leer on his face, he muttered, "I wouldn't have thought a couple of stinging hexes would have brought tears to the eyes of someone who fought so hard earlier."
Cassi gaped at him, was he serious? Slapping her mask firmly back in place, she said, "Your stinging hexes, although unexpected, were not what made me cry." Looking at him appraisingly, "My mother thought you were intelligent. I suppose we all get to be wrong at least once," with a coldness to match his, she walked into the headmaster's office like nothing occurred.
Dumbledore twinkled at her, "Please sit down," he said politely, gesturing her to a chair. "Professor Snape and I have been discussing this rather unique situation, Miss Black. It is a precarious time we find ourselves in. If Professor Snape claims you as his own, Voldemort will undoubtedly want to claim you as a death eater." Dumbledore explained. As Cassi sat, she noticed her wand on the Headmaster's desk.
"Yes, my mother thought the same thing. I have a feeling that's why they would have rather captured than killed me." Cassie said thoughtfully. "Tell me Professor," Cassi said, dripping the last word with sarcasm that could not be missed, "Were you delayed in reporting when the Dark Lord called? Snape's eyes went wide.
Cassi plowed on mercilessly. "I can only imagine he summoned after he reincarnated. I mean, not that I blame you. I wouldn't have wanted to go either." Cassi went on, curling up in her chair and looking pensive. "The reason I ask is maybe he wanted to use me as leverage against you. Maybe he thought you had left him. Someone somewhere knew I existed. They must have told him to gain favor." Cassie said now, speaking to Dumbledore's desk.
Before anyone could speak again, Cassi went on in a small voice, "My mother showed me several memories of what the Dark Lord is capable of. It's terrifying." At that pronouncement, Snape grasped the bridge of his nose, and Dumble sat back in his chair, steepling his long fingers and closing his eyes.
Cassi looked up at the simultaneous movements and the silence. She expected someone to speak at that pronouncement. "She will have to be presented, Dumbledore. If her mother hadn't shown her, we could have avoided it so early, but now.." Snape trailed off, his voice crisp.
Cassi looked around at Snape, no longer lost in thought or contemplation, "Presented? To whom, the Dark Lord? Why would it matter what I've been shown? It's not like I'd ever share my knowledge with anyone. I'm not actively trying to die." she said her voice going up an octave or two.
"I don't think it can be avoided. Though, I do not believe he will want anything of you at this stage." Dumbledore said somberly. "We will need to work on your Occlumency. I have felt your walls and barriers, I am glad you've .." Cassi cut him off mid-sentence. "You want me to willingly present myself to the Dark Lord?!" she said hotly, her dark eyes blazing. "You've both lost your minds," she said flatly.
Picking up her bag, she began tossing things haphazardly back in, noticing as she did so, her diary was gone. "This is the opposite of what my mother would have wanted! You both know that. I'm leaving his lunatic asylum you call a school! No way in hell I'm." There was a loud bang, and Cassi's voice was gone.
She mouthed silently for a moment before taking her wand off Dumbledore's desk and wordlessly canceling the spell. "What the hell was that?" Cassi demanded.
Cassi was livid. She was also aware of her predicament. She was standing there barefoot in hospital pajamas, wand raised and pointing at her father. The voice of reason in her head was shrieking in alarm.
"Control yourself!" Snape spat. "It's not something any of us want to do. But I am a spy for the Order, I cannot risk my place. Doing so would be a death sentence for us both. THINK!" Tapping the side of her head with one long finger. Snape said all of this like he was speaking to an imbecile. Cassi glared at him.
Dumbledore spoke next, "It matters because you are still young. You have not been taught or practiced in a way that would not be telling. A small flicker of recognition of a name or a face you were not personally introduced to would give you away. You would be in danger." He said gravely.
"We will go to the ministry tomorrow afternoon and apply for your transfer due to 'unforeseen circumstances,' and then we will go about getting you sorted and tested so you may start classes. While I'm sure your mother did an admirable job teaching you, OWLs are this coming year, and we would like you to be prepared."
Cassi stared at him. They were talking about introducing her to the Dark Lord. How was she supposed to worry about school now? Rolling her eyes at Dumbledore and his plan, she sighed and put her head in her hands. It did not go unnoticed, however. Her moment of disrespect earned her a sharp cuff on the back of the head from her newfound father.
"Ouch!" Cassie said indignantly, glaring at Snape. First, the stinging hex, now this? Knowing he knew Legilimancy, she leaned over, staring straight into his eyes, picturing herself punching him in the face earlier. The shock was plain on his face as he saw her message. Smirking, she turned back to Dumbledore. She was promptly cuffed on the back of the head again.
"You know," rubbing her head protectively, "I'm recovering from a concussion, don't you, Professor?" Cassi said sarcastically. "You wouldn't want to reactivate my injury now, would you?" she said, looking pained.
"That was hardly hard enough to do you harm. Stop sulking," Snape said, smirking. Levity? Was that supposed to be a joke? Was he even capable?
She had experienced loss, anger, terror, and pain so rapidly she was exhausted from the tornado of emotions swirling around inside her. She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to center herself. Dumbledore smiled slightly.
Pulling herself together, she turned back to Dumbledore and said, "I appreciate your concern, Professor Dumbledore. But I'm not even sure I want to go to school here. I'm not sure I want to go to school at all. Look at all of the difficulty I've caused, and I've been here for about 5 minutes." Cassi said, shaking her head. Turning to look at Snape, "My very presence is putting you and your mission in danger. Why would you even want me to stay?" she said all of this very fast as if to get it out before stopping herself.
Being rejected by her father was always a concern, considering he didn't know she existed. She was giving him an out. She had to. It's not fair to have expectations of someone who didn't know you were even alive. It looked like he had accepted her diary, at least. So that was something.
"I'm sorry, Miss Black, you are also in danger. By now, Voldemort will have discovered his death eaters have not returned. He would have sent someone to check. He would have seen their bodies. He would have seen you not among the dead. This is as much for your protection as for Professor Snapes." Dumbledore said solemnly.
"What if I was wrong and they weren't death eaters? Then we'd be doing this for nothing." Cassi said somewhat desperately.
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and nodded slightly before rising from his chair and crossing the room. There he opened a cabinet that held a shallow stone basin. "Let us see your memories then, Miss Black, to determine the best course of action. I know it may be difficult, but it is necessary."
Placing the stone basin on the desk before her, she stared at it ominously. SHIT! She did NOT want to relive this. "What if I give you the memory and just stay behind?" Cassi said, her voice a little higher than normal, her mouth going very dry.
"I apologize, Miss Black, but you will need to come with us. You will need to pause your memory at certain junctures that we cannot do alone. We will be with you. You will not be alone." Dumbledore looked apologetic; but resolute. She would have to go.
"Here, I'll do it," Snape said gruffly, taking out his wand and trying to touch Cassi's temple.
Cassi slapped his wand away. "I can do this on my own, thank you." She said, frowning at him.
Trembling slightly, she put her wand tip to her temple and pulled out the long strand of memory. Cassie placed it slowly in the pensive, watching it swirl. She stared at it for what felt like an eternity. Then slowly prodded the shimmering contents with her wand.
She was in her memory, in her room, watching herself sleep. Dumbledore and Snape followed moments after. That's when the barrier alarm sounded. Cassi panicked. "Professor Dumbledore, how do I pause a memory?" Cassi asked in a voice that was not her own.
"All you need do is think clearly about the moment and picture it stopping in your mind. Try it now." Dumbledore said with the air of one teaching a class.
Cassi watched herself counting the breaks in the barrier and thought hard. The memory paused itself. "Well done," Dumbledore said, smiling at her. "Can you think of what you must do to make the memory continue?"
Cassi nodded and allowed the memory to continue. "Well done indeed," Dumbledore said. Cassi gave him a small grin and followed herself down the stairs. She heard herself shout "Six!".
She ran into the kitchen before her other self and paused the memory. She was able to see it clearly, able to walk through the rubble without being cut. "This one, never loses his mask," Cassi pointed to the second man through the door. He was shorter than the first. Blond from the looks of it with mud brown eyes.
Looking for anything that would show us his identity, Cassi came upon a family crest. "It's some kind of shield with three stars and crossed wands," she said. Snape slid in beside her, "It looks like Yaxley's crest. He said he had a cousin abroad. This must be him." he said, disgust in his voice.
The first man had nothing showing who he was, but he would lose his mask later in the fight. Cassie looked at Dumbledore who nodded. She restarted the memory. She saw herself blasted in the face with debris, wincing, remembering how much it hurt.
"Bailey!" Cassi shouted and ran to see her friend. She watched as the tiny elf tried to take her away. Her heart ached for him. She reached down and tried to touch his head; her hand passed through him. A tear escaped her eye as she watched herself dissolution and fight on. Bailey ran dutifully to help her mother.
They all watched as she stupefied one death eater and froze the second. "I should have killed that bastard then. My mother would have lived if I hadn't been soft," she hissed with an evil look in her eye. She was trembling. Snape made to reach out and put a hand on her shoulder but thought better of it.
Turning, watching herself run to help her mother, she saw Bailey die, and a sob escaped her lips. She just looked down at the little elf, hand over her mouth, sobbing.
"Miss Black, if you wouldn't mind pausing the memory, please," Dumbledore said softly. "It's just a memory, my dear. None of this can harm you." Placing a hand on her shoulder, Cassie started and looked around. Her face was glazed with tears.
She stared at her mother and paused the memory. Walking over to her, she memorized every hair, every line—the fierceness in her eyes, the strength in her hands. The tears were falling freely now as Snape and Dumbledore studied the four men.
"Here, Dumbledore, another crest," Snape said, pointing to a ring on the hand of the man closest to her on the floor. "Good work, Severus," Dumbledore said, scanning the man's face. He appeared to have hazel eyes and brown hair. His mask was still in place.
The other man on the floor had no markings, but his mask had slipped. His face was partially visible. He had blue eyes, brown hair, a sharp pointed nose, and a thin face. He looked young, maybe 25. He couldn't have been more than a boy when the Dark Lord was powerful last time.
"Cassi, please start the memory again," Dumbledore said softly. Cassi nodded, barely able to keep herself in control. The memory began to play again. She saw her mother kill the man as she dispatched the other. Even Snape winced that time.
Cassi fell to her knees as she watched her mother fall and sobbed unrestrainedly. Her body shook with the strength of the grief that filled her being. It was all-encompassing.
She didn't hear Dumbledore calling her. She didn't feel Snape pulling her off the ground and into his arms. She didn't notice it when they landed back in the office or when he placed her in the chair at Dumbledore's desk. Such was the weight of her grief. She sat there trembling and sobbing. Snape wrapped her in his cloak and pushed a calming potion into her hand, unsure what else he could do for her.
Cassi had no idea how much time had passed. She didn't know if it was day or night. Both her father and Dumbledore had seen her murder. How would they trust her in a school with other children?
Finally, Dumbledore spoke, "It seems your mother did a formidable job teaching you defense. I am glad the lessons stuck. You may not be here otherwise." He said softly. He was twinkling down at her.
"I'm sorry I fell apart. My mother would have been ashamed at my incompetence," she grimaced. "Did you get everything you needed?" Cassi asked, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer. Dumbledore nodded in the affirmative.
"I know what you just saw me do was horrible. I get it if you don't want me to stay." Cassi said hoarsely. Miserably Cassi studied her fingers. She had just realized she was draped in her father's cloak.
"You defended yourself and your home admirably. You've shouldered more of a burden than most grown witches. Your mother would be proud of you." Dumbledore said kindly. "And no, I do not wish to send you away. You belong here at Hogwarts."
She looked tentatively at her father. He looked at her and did not look away. "Let us get you back to the hospital wing. I have some dreamless sleep you will take. You will spend the night there with Madame Pomfrey. I will come to collect you tomorrow after 1 pm when the students are dismissed. It should give me time to make a place for you." He spoke as if trying to calm a wounded animal, but still, left no room for argument. These were statements, not requests.
Night had fallen by the time Cassi reached the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey offered her food as she had missed dinner, but Cassie declined. Getting into bed, she took her potions from her father without complaint. She did not want to dream. She never wanted to relive that nightmare again.
"About your mother. We.." Snape stopped short, looking uncertain about how to continue.
"You don't have to explain. She knew you didn't love her. It wasn't a problem. We were happy." She said with a yawn. Her eyes were already heavy. Sleep was definitely on its way.
The memories she was shown of her father were harsh. When she first saw him, her instinct was to run. She did run. Now she was much more curious. He seemed human. This was going to be interesting.
