"You're staring at him again."
Daphne snapped her eyes down to the revision sheet in front of her. To her left, Pansy cackled.
"You're such a slag," she whispered harshly. "Even he doesn't want you anymore."
She pushed her nose further into her work. If Pansy was still glaring at her, she now couldn't tell.
"Something funny, Miss Parkinson?" Professor Snape's voice leaked over from the front of the classroom.
Pansy pulled herself up from her slouch and smiled.
"Nothing, Professor. Do carry on, please."
He arched an eyebrow.
"I'm glad I have your permission to continue. Detention, my office, Saturday at four o'clock."
Pansy bit her lip and fell silent. As much as Daphne despised Professor Snape and everything he stood for, she found herself mentally thanking him. The Professor fell back into guiding his lesson and likewise, she found her eyes snaking their way back to the back of a certain Gryffindors head.
The first term was passing swiftly over Hogwarts, and to many it was a return to form. Not having anything big going on around the castle was a rare occasion; there was now nothing to look forward to besides more revision. To some this was boring, to others, it was a welcome break. Inside Hogwarts, the war never felt further away. For most, anyway.
Daphne stretched in her seat, flexing her back muscles.
She couldn't afford to go chasing the rabbit again in lesson. Professor Snape had imposed his personality on the room around them; it was gloomier than usual and lit only by candlelight, it suited her mood near perfectly. Professor Umbridge's lessons had let everyone's guard down, but his teachings were actually providing quite the challenge, and in a good way. It was true, Daphne's life wasn't in the best position right now, but no, that wasn't a valid excuse to fail her classes, she kept reminding herself.
"Those who progress to using magic without the aid of incantations gain an element of surprise in their castings. Not all wizards can do this, of course, it is a question of concentration and mind power which some simply… lack. You will now divide into pairs. One partner shall attempt to jinx the other without speaking, and the other will attempt to repel the jinx in equal silence. You may begin when ready."
There was a shuffling of desks and Daphne moved to find a partner, making a beeline away from Pansy in the process.
Her automatic go-to had been Tracey, but then stopped in her tracks as she caught a glimpse of her rushing towards Dominique on the other side of the room. Hesitant, she scanned the crowd for anyone available, hoping the Old Gods would be merciful on her.
She ended up partnering with Longbottom, which all things considered, she didn't mind too much. She was already fairly okay at non-verbal spells - again another advantage her upbringing gave her over her classmates - though she had yet to actually use them in practice. She found herself regretting this optimism as they got to actually casting spells, though.
Ten minutes into the lesson and her wand was hanging limply by her side and she caught herself nodding off more than once. Longbottom, who was supposed to be jinxing her, was turning purple in the face and growing increasingly frustrated with every failed casting. She'd given up trying to assist him as every time she'd try was met with grunts and one-worded responses. She couldn't quite tell if he was annoyed at her or scared of her, and to be honest, she didn't much care either way.
"Will you please cast something?" she asked loudly, drawing a few eyes.
"I'm trying!" Longbottom grunted.
The lesson ended without as much as a single spell being cast on Daphne's part and as Professor Snape dismissed them, she couldn't help leaking a glare over in Longbottoms direction as he sped sheepishly away from her.
"Do you remember me telling you were we casting non-verbal spells, Flamel?"
"Oui… My apologies, Mister Snape."
"Sir."
"Pleaze do not call me sir, Mister Snape. I am ah lady."
Daphne caught the noise in her throat, but several other people weren't as lucky, ending up gasping or snorting at Professor Snape's expense. Nearby, Tracey grinned appreciatively.
"Detention, my office. Saturday at four o'clock. Just because you're new, don't think I'm going to take any cheek from you, Miss Flamel."
Dominique deflated at his words.
A look of sad confusion struck her face, but she didn't rise to it. She shrank awkwardly away from him and moved to collect her things, looking not dissimilar to a child being sent to her room. Daphne's eyes narrowed and before she could even acknowledge it, she was moving towards the front of the class.
"She wasn't being cheeky! She just didn't know what you meant," she snapped. "Her English is bad, you can't bully her for that."
Silence struck the room.
Daphne took a sharp inhale of breath. Most of the class had already drained out, but those who remained had fallen deathly silent, as though waiting for a pin to drop. Professor Snape suddenly loomed over her like a predatory animal.
"You could always join her in detention... if you feel it's unjust?"
With the heavy weight of her classmates eyes following her, Daphne fought to keep a sterile expression.
"I am a Prefect… and I am a witness to what just transpired. I can report you to Professor Dumbledore."
There was a stirring in the room. The atmosphere shifted, but again, nobody made a sound.
The Professor cocked an eyebrow, unphased, and moved his hands in a casual shrug.
"Then I'll see you both in my office, Saturday at four o'clock, Miss Greengrass," he said, then with a scowl, quietly added, "Hopefully you'll be this talkative then."
Before she had time to rattle off another flex of authority at him, he turned sharply and vanished up the stairs into his office. Even if she wanted to continue berating him, her clenched fist and grinding teeth would have made it impossible.
She released a harsh exhale of breath. As she turned back around, she found the few remaining pairs of eyes watching her diligently. Fighting a hard blush, she made her way back to her book bag, only now just registered how loud her heart was in her ears. Tracey and Dominique were waiting by her desk, one looked upset, and the other, the opposite, looking ecstatic.
"Merci, Daffy… " Dominique gave a sympathetic smile. "Ah really didn't know what 'e wanted from me."
Daphne snatched her things from the table as she marched past them.
"Shut up."
Daphne had a break before her next lesson, with Tracey and Dominique trailing loosely behind her, the three of them made their way the short distance through the castle to their common room. Her heart was thundering by the time they reached the room, and the dungeons usual dark and cosy aesthetic did little to lighten her mood. As she dropped onto a leather sofa and pulled out her bookbag, she used her revision book as the only way to shut out the world around her.
"What you guys have next?" Tracey asked both her and Dominique, but seemed to target the question more at the latter.
"Apparition," they both answered with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
"I'm free for the day now… wanna chill before lesson?"
"Chill?"
"Chill with each other," Tracey repeated herself, and then after a second, clarified further, "Like, get food or something. Chill, you know?"
Daphne could practically feel the attention shifting onto her. She lifted her face from the Arithmancy textbook, and low and behold, saw Dominique staring at her with wide eyes and a lip stuck out. She repressed the sudden urge to growl back at the girl.
"Se détendre."
"Merci. Yes, then. Ah would like to chill."
Daphne pushed her book bag off couch and switched to a better sitting position. It would somehow be easier for her to get revision done now out of lesson, since she'd be able to catch up on what she'd missed out on waiting for Longbottom to join in. She definitely had no intention to 'chill', but it also appeared both Tracey and Dominique had no intention of leaving the vicinity anytime soon. She did her best to push her housemates to the back of her mind. They weren't on the same level as her, and were completely oblivious to what she was going through.
She'd been struggling with her weeks more than the rest had, today wasn't the first temper tantrums she'd caught herself having. Everywhere she looked she found dark elements creeping into her life; eyes watching her from all directions and a general feeling of unease following her around the castle. Avoiding Professor Snape had gotten more difficult, what with Defence Against the Dark Arts being one of her core subjects, but she had at least been able to escape a follow up to the scolding she'd received the week previous. She doubted today's outburst would be treated as fairly, though.
And then there was Harry, who was… a different matter, altogether.
She had finally got past her own stubbornness and accepted that she missed him, but that wouldn't make a difference in her actions. She longed for a boring life now more than ever. Focusing on tests, worrying about makeup, keeping up with pets. When had her life become so dangerous, she asked herself? No matter what she did, she couldn't escape this daunting aura that seemed to dampen every conversation and follow her to every class. It was like a rain cloud dangling above her, and, of course, the only shelter she could take from it - the only one who made her happy these days - would just dig her hole even deeper.
"You are goin' for zhe Quidditch Cap'in?"
"Well, my tutor seems to reckon I'm a shoe-in for the position," Tracey boasted proudly. "Do they play Quidditch at Beauxbatons?"
"Oui! But et's different to 'ere, we do not divide between 'ouses, there are no 'ouses in Beauxbatons, we divide our teams by elements."
"Elements?"
"Water, Earth, Fire and Air. I was in zhe Fire team."
"I mean… well, it definitely makes sense that you're in the Fire Team."
"Pardon?"
"Yanno… since you're so hot."
Daphne repressed a gag, which was luckily drowned out by laughter from Dominique, who took the joke in better spirits.
"Zhat is 'orrible!" she cheered. "Does that usually work?"
"Ahh well, you know what they say, even spaghetti is straight until it's…"
Daphne's head snapped up from her book. Tracey caught her menacing glare, and sank awkwardly back into her seat.
"Until?" Dominique asked. "Until it's what?"
"Until… it's… gay."
There was an ugly cackle from somewhere in the room, and the sound of it caused Daphne's temper reared its ugly head again. Pansy strolled in proudly, cocking her hips from side to side with each step. Millicent lingered nervously behind her.
"What was that?" Tracey asked her.
"I said that you're disgusting," Pansy snarled. "Trying to get off with the new girl."
Daphne kept an eye on the situation from the safety of her book.
She'd seen what had happened; Pansy had mumbled under her breath as she was passing and hadn't meant to say it outloud, but had then seen the opportunity for confrontation and leapt at it. The girl was closing in, leering at them with a face practically begging for a response that she could jump on. Her patience had ran out and she was in no mood for fist fight right now… Come to think of it, that was probably exactly why Pansy decided to act up.
"Leave those opinions at the door, Pansy," she said sternly.
Pansy scoffed with a painfully cheery tone.
"Of course the traitor would jump in!" she laughed.
Daphne flexed her nostrils. There was a steadily brewing rage inside her. It was taking all she had not to jump out of her seat at the girl.
"I am a Prefect," she reiterated. "If you think you can get away with talking to me like that you have another thing coming, Parkinson."
"Oh, you love your labels, don't you?" Pansy sang merrily. "Ice Queen, Prefect, traitor, Hogwarts Bike."
A rush of hot fury swept through Daphne and before she knew it, she was launching herself out of her seat at Pansy.
Seconds later she was snatched around the waist by Tracey, who had been anticipating her move and blocked her path, forcing herself between the two girls. Milicent looked more uneasy than before, while Pansy howled in obnoxious enjoyment.
"Knock it off! Daffy, you know she is just messin'!" Tracey whispered harshly in her ear. "She'd trying to get a rise out of you!"
"Just look at you!" Pansy laughed. "And to think, people actually used to be scared of you!"
Daphne growled back, but only succeeded in making Pansy chuckle harder.
"I'm about to give them a new reason to be!"
"Whatever. Sure you are."
Those were the last words she gave, and as Pansy turned to make her way into the dorms, Daphne had a growing desire to jinx her into the same wall that she had done to her last year.
With the common room now vacated, she dropped back into her position, and didn't stop to acknowledge Tracey or Dom as she allowed the textbook to cover her face again. Her chest was heaving and she gripped the books covers with white-hot knuckles. If she didn't have company with her, she'd be taking out this stress in a different, far more violent way.
Tracey landed next to her on the leather sofa, the cushion beneath her letting out a slow and awkward deflating sound.
"Don't get into fights for me, dude. You've gotten pissy recently, you need to knock it off… Just 'cause you can kick her arse doesn't mean you should. I can handle myself."
Tracey's tone came with a level of seriousness - and did she even detect warning? - in it that was totally out of character of everything that she had come to know about her half sister.
Daphne peaked an eye over her book.
"I have not gotten pissy."
Tracey, sure enough, was looking back at her with a dishevelled look on her face. It almost looked unnatural, plastered across such a usually care-free individual.
"You say that, but you just tried to twat Pansy over some dumb joke? You've never been that protective before," she shot back. "Don't get me wrong, I definitely appreciate it, but Pansy used to call me all nasty sorts when I came out and you never did anythin' then."
Tracey was not not settling down with her tone and it was beginning to unsettle her. Just as she thought it was actually about to amount to something, the words in her throat were drowned out by Dominique.
"Wait, you actually do like women?"
The question clearly took Tracey off guard.
Her mood did a one-sixty and she sent about bobbing her mouth open and close like a goldfish, while a heavy blush rushed to her cheeks. She scratched the back of her head, and tugged her beanie slightly down over her fringe.
"Yeah…" she sputtered out. "But guys as well, though! Don't... don't, er, don't read anything into that flirting, earlier, by the way... That's kinda my thing. I joke a lot, it's not personal. I mean, not… no, not exactly. I'm like that with a lot of people, I wasn't just…"
Dominique held up a hand in silence, which Tracey looked immensely thankful for.
"Et doesn't bother me, don't worry. But why iz Pansy not okay with it?"
Tracey struggled, and let out a long sigh.
"Pansy… is bitch," she settled on after a moment. "Don't worry about her. She's from an old fashioned family, she doesn't mean it."
"Well ah come from one of zhe oldest families in France, and we do not hate unless it iz earned," Dominique retorted with a frown on her face, and then added, "She has certainly earned it."
Tracey gave an optimistic smile, and nodded in acknowledgement.
"We used to be mates with her, once. Or... we tolerated each other. I don't think she's actually bothered by it as much as she lets on, she just likes to be mean."
"Then what changed? Why are you not friends any longer?"
There was a silence, in which Daphne interjected for the first time.
"Nothing changed. We put up with her more than we should have and now we know our worth."
It took a second, but Dominique grew a smile. The French girl nodded in agreement.
"I like zhe sound of that."
With that sense of finality, Daphne turned her attention back to her book, and tried her best to purge the temper from her system.
She was able to disassociate with whatever Tracey and Dominique ended up talking about next, but it was at the expense of not reading what was in front of her. She ended up zoning out, and found herself a million miles away from Hogwarts and the people inside it.
She hadn't seen Tracey act like that before. Her two moods, traditionally, were playful or hostile, with no in-between. Seeing her serious-up like that almost struck as a shock to the system. Was it just because Dominique was here and she fancied her, was she trying to show off? That definitely wouldn't be out of character for Tracey, but a lingering unease assured Daphne it wasn't something that conceited. In actuality, she knew there was some truth in her accusation earlier.
Daphne definitely had a shorter temper recently, but she had thought she was doing a better job at disguising it. She kept her responses blunt, to-the-point and never lingered in one place for too long, that wasn't too out-of-character for how she considered herself to act normally anyway, but had she really been picking fights? What other changes in her behaviour had leaked through?
She was determined to keep her home life as separate from her education as she could, but if she had now degraded herself to chatting back to teachers and picking fights, what else was slipping through the gaps? Snape annoyed her, Harry annoyed her, Pansy annoyed her, even Dominique's screeching voice was beginning to annoy her… she wasn't exactly left with much escapism these days, beyond total isolation. The amount that she had going on in her life, could she really be blamed for being short tempered?
"Isn't that right, Daffy?"
Daphne's head perked up at the mention of her name, and she found herself again unwillingly involved in a conversation.
"Pardon?"
"The Giant Squid."
"What did you say?"
"I was tellin' Dom about the squid in the lake."
Daphne shook her head, and tried her best to return to the safety of her textbook.
"It's a myth, there is no squid in the lake."
"No it's not, you know there is one! Professor Hagrid told us about it in third year!"
Again, she felt her internal temperature rising at the interruption.
She really couldn't be blamed for having difficulty dealing with all she had going on, that much was true. She had her grades to worry about, not to mention whatever horrific and in-humane thing her father was planning for her next, and skirting around the school like a rat trying to avoid Harry Potter... and now even her friendship group had been compromised with a high-pitched french accent. She was justified being annoyed, that much was definitely true.
But this kept on happening. This wasn't an isolated incident. She lost control when it first came out about hers and Harry's affair, but now she was doing it again. She took pride in self control, she had built her own success. Her life was hers and hers only. But now, to have it monitored and controlled twenty-four-seven by people like her father and Pansy was just... Just…
The grip on her textbook tightened.
When had she become everyone's punching bag? And why had she allowed herself into that position?
There was nowhere to turn in her life that she didn't have people out to get her, and the few breaks or reliefs she got were too few and far between. Isolation used to be a choice, she enjoyed the peace that being alone gave her, but now it has become a necessity, and without it she was a mess. Being alone was the only time she truly felt at rest, and even that was a shrinking ice cap. Coming back to Hogwarts was meant to be back to her good life, where she got things back on track and lived a life she was proud of.
But this? It barely felt like life at times.
"Daphne, et iz time for lesson, are we going?"
Her snapped from her trance again.
She was doing herself no favours, getting worked up like this. She needed to get away.
"Go without me. I'll write in sick."
Tracey's face practically hit the floor.
"You've never missed a lesson unless it's been an emergency. Like, Tori-level emergency. What's up?"
Daphne shook her head, and dabbed her now-moist forehead with her bandage ridden sleeve.
"I'll make up for what I miss. Just tell Madam Kjellberg I'm sorry and I'll talk to Professor Snape about it."
Dominique was unsure, but agreed regardless. She gave a pitiful nod, collected her bookbag and left the room on her own. She looked tiny against the rooms big architecture, but it earned her no sympathy from Daphne.
"What's up, man?"
The question came from Tracey, whose look of pent-up aggression was replaced with concern.
Daphne considered the girl before her.
Her gentle tone was quite opposite to it a minute ago, meaning she'd succeed in throwing the girl through another loop. It hadn't been intentional, but then again, it also hadn't been the first time.
"Have I really been getting more aggressive?" she asked genuinely.
Tracey nodded. It wasn't a happy nod. She shifted in her seat, moving her head in and sealing the two in a now-intimate exchange.
"Well, I mean," she struggled, "I've... definitely noticed it more. There was just then, and earlier in lesson with Snape. And when you told Dom to shut up. And then there was the other week with Pansy on the train. You're being rude, and not like you usually are."
"I didn't mean to tell her to shut up…" Daphne jumped to her own defence, "... she just has a really annoying voice."
"But you still did," Tracey shot back, unflinching but also sympathetic.
Daphne felt her back sinking into the settee.
"You've been kinda short tempered with everyone… feels like the only times you really speak to us these days are to have a go at us."
Tracey left it on that, but the look on her face said she had a lot more to say.
This was the first time in forever she'd seen her approach a subject so seriously. Even revealing she was leaving Harry had come with its share of over-the-top exaggerations during the lecture she'd received from it.
This wasn't like that, and now she no-longer had Dominique here to show off in front of. Tracey was being one hundred percent serious, and Daphne didn't know that was even possible for her. Had she really been pushed to that? Sure Daphne was wound up over Professor Snape right now, but that was justified, wasn't it? And the other times were also justified when they'd happened moment, she was only responding the way anyone else would in her situation.
In fact, more than that, she was doing everything she could to keep everyone happy, and it was at the expense of her own mental health. So how had she, again, wound up the cause of the problem? It was fine when anyone else let off steam, but it wasn't okay for her?
"Daffy?"
Daphne shut her eyes. She didn't know why, but seeing only the void helped her ground herself, and grounding was exactly what she needed right now.
She shifted from her position suddenly, snatching up her textbook and book bag.
"I need to revise. I'm sorry that you feel that way."
"Daph, I shouldn't have said that! I'm sorry!"
But it was too late, Daphne was already on her way to the dormitories, where she would spend the rest of the night is blissful isolation.
Isolation was rapidly becoming less of a crutch and more a close, personal friend.
It was the only place she found herself where she couldn't mess up. Only there held no expectations from her. In isolation she was Daphne Greengrass, the Ice Queen of Hogwarts and student witch prodigy. She wasn't the teacher-arguing, short tempered, problematic Death Eater's daughter that kept staring back at her through mirrors.
At some point she'd fallen asleep, which she only realised when she woke up in a cold sweat hours into the night. Her back was moist and the sheets below her with it, everything felt sticky, clammy and horrible. She peeled herself out of bed the second she could, and found remnants of her studying in the form of books and scrolls forming a secondary blanket above her first one. She plucked her nightgown from her bedside and crossed quickly into her private bathroom.
She turned the cold steel tap and a hissing followed, but a noticeable absence of any water.
She sighed.
The plumbing in her room was faulty, it had been since they'd gotten back this term. She didn't want to go to Professor Snape about it and hadn't found the time to fix it herself. But she desperately needed a drink and couldn't go back to bed without one. Going to someone else's dorm wasn't an option, as even if she was in the mood to talk to people, allowing herself into Tracey's dorm without permission just felt wrong.
So instead she slipped into her slippers and unlocked the door to her dormitory, stepping out into the cold communal corridor. A rush of chills swept up her back. Her body begged to return to the comfort of bed, so she made heist in her way. Stepping into the common room, it was thankfully abandoned and lit only by an eerie green glow from the black lake.
There was an adjacent kitchen to the common room, one rarely used and as such mostly hidden from view. The idea of Slytherins having to make their own food was a preposterous one, but the room had never seen itself demolished like the other houses had been.
Plucking a dusty glass from the draining board, she twisted the tap and a cold spray of water hit the bottom of the sink. She rinsed her glass out a few times and then filled it up. As she drank, she let letting a cold stream of water escape her lips and dribble down her neck. It did wonders to cool her down, and that was when she realised why she was so thirsty in the first place; she was absolutely boiling. Whatever dream caused her to be in this state was long lost to her memory now.
She emptied the glass but kept the water flowing to rinse it out again. Steadily though, she twisted the tap off. A new noise had entered the common room, and as she crossed out of the kitchen, she found she was no longer it's only inhabitant.
Draco had entered, still in his school robes, and looked worse for wear. Daphne tightened her nightgown instinctively. Draco noticed her, and despite his state, sent a scowl her way.
"What'd you want?" he asked.
He sounded like he was struggling for breath, like he'd ran here from somewhere far in the castle. She narrowed her eyes, and moved in cautiously.
"You're out past curfew."
"And?" he shot back.
She took a second to consider him further. Whatever he'd just been up to, he certainly hadn't planned on bumping into somebody on his way back. He was caught off-guard and on the defensive, even more so than usual. She could even spy his eyes shooting around her for escape routes.
"There's a curfew for a reason."
Draco gave her a final grimace and rushed past her to the boys dormitory, but not before she was able to catch him mutter under his breath.
"Piss off."
Just like that she was alone again, but now she was wide awake. The whole interaction had played out in less than ten seconds, and her mind was still playing catch-up to it.
An ugly thought sprung to mind. Draco had been given a mission by The Dark Lord as well, if she recalled. Hers was incredibly demanding, so she could only imagine what his was if he had been given one of a similar nature. The difference was she was prepared to fail it, but Draco on the other hand…
A headache began to set in on Daphne. Probably the result of her overheating while asleep, or maybe whatever bad dream she'd had was catching up to her. Or maybe it was the daunting reality that she'd just discovered yet another problem that she needed to concern herself with.
