Fun Fact: Sirius and Xayla were almost the main characters of this fic, so I present to you some cuteness from them. :)
(Xayla POV)
Christmas came in a flurry of frost, decorations, lights and good spirits. After Sirius' innocence was proven, Pettigrew was sent to Azkaban, until it was decided if he should be given the kiss or not.
The Weasleys had rushed home, and their pictures and names were put in the Daily Prophet, along with receiving the reward money that had built up over the years. Even though it was supposed to have gone to the person with information on Sirius, it was determined that finding Sirius to be innocent and having gotten Peter turned in was good enough to reward the poor family a whopping thirty thousand Galleons.
Sirius was also given the Order of Merlin, First Class and that seemed to make him glow with joy, though I knew that the real joy for him had come in the form of the freedom he now had.
If I were honest though, the freedom he had now, kinda scared me.
For ten years now, I'd been with him, because I love him so much, but had he really had a choice? Would he still be with me if he'd never been a wanted man and had to hide here, with Rose, Zander and I? I knew he loved me, there was absolutely no doubt about that, but was his love strong enough to keep him here?
I didn't voice these concerns though and tried to shove them to the back of my mind, because Sirius, my dear beloved star, my heart, my breath, my everything, deserved to be happy and enjoy his freedom. I would never ever want to be the one, to retrap him. When I did let my emotions surface, I was always alone, and they twisted my heart more than anything I could've ever imagined.
It was finally on Christmas Eve that I finally couldn't keep it in anymore and that was because of the pregnancy test I'd taken that morning.
Sirius and I had been trying to have another baby for a few months now, what with the boys at Hogwarts and the girls being older, we figured we wanted another little one and had often laid together, late at night, discussing our future baby and how we were sure if we had another we'd have a little boy.
With Sirius getting free however, would he even want to have another child? Would it be too much work and take away from him wanting to travel and see the world? I know Hagrid had contacted him to give him his motorcycle back and he was so excited to fix it up and travel.
When I found out I was pregnant, I went, sat in my room and cried for as long as I could bear. Eventually though, I cleaned myself up and went to have Christmas dinner with everyone else. 'Christmas Dinners' as we called them in the Darken-Black family weren't really dinners, nor were they on Christmas., but it was the big meal we all shared at around two on Christmas Eve and everyone loved it.
Christmas Eve was always the time where we did all the things that require hard work, like cooking the turkey and other foods or putting together bigger presents. At night was when we usually sat by the fire, read stories, watched a Christmas movie and stayed together as a family. The day of Christmas was all about the gifts and the music and the playing, and that night was usually more of the same as Christmas Eve.
Though my personal favorite tradition was definitely Christmas Dinner. Zander had started it with me when I'd been about nine, to make our hard lives have just a little more light and joy in them. It had always been a source of comfort for me, that time with my family and even now, when I felt so miserable, I craved the time with my family.
When she saw me, Rose gave me a look, then glanced at Sirius, but I shook my head. I wasn't ready to talk to him about it. She continued to look at me and pointed to Sirius, who was talking with Remus, Harry and Henry about some adventures he wanted to go on, now that he was free.
Halfway through dinner though, as Sirius was laughing with the others, I couldn't take it anymore and standing fast, I threw my chair back and stormed from the room. I went to my room, threw open the door and slamming it behind me, I sat on my bed and started crying again.
It was only a second later when the door opened and I looked up to see Sirius looking in on me, a look of deep concern stretching across his face. "Ayla? What's going on?"
"I'm just fine." I tried to wipe my face of all its sadness as Sirius came into the room and came to sit beside me.
"No you're not." I let him wrap an arm around me and as I closed my eyes, and let his Rich Mahogany and Frosted Lavender scent fill my senses, I let out a breath.
"I'm scared I'm not going to be enough anymore." I whispered as I looked up at him, my hair clinging to my face through my now drying tears. "Sirius, you were forced to be with me…"
"By whom?" He used his fingers to gently move my hair from my face. "Ayla, I'm not with you because I had to be, I'm with you, because I want to be." When I didn't look quite convinced, he continued on. "It's not like we're the first person each other has been with and if I hadn't wanted to be with you Ayla, I could've just snuck out and been with random girls, but I never did, not to mention that I've liked you since we were at Hogwarts." His eyes twinkled and I opened my mouth in confusion.
"Really?"
"You don't remember, do you?" I shook my head and gently, he helped me stand up. "Here, let me jog your memory." Leaning over, he kissed me and at the touch of his lips, I became breathless. No matter how long we were together, he always managed to leave me needing him over and over again, like a drug I could never quit.
"I liked you since fifth year actually, but at fifteen, I would never let myself be with a fourteen year old Slytherin, no matter how cute she was." Rolling my eyes, I followed him now as he took me over to the closet where he kept the pensive I'd gotten him almost eight years ago, when the grief of losing James was still so much that his depression had seemed to engulf him. Handing it to me, he took out his wand and touched the tip of it to his temple. Immediately, he began to remove a bright silvery memory.
He placed the silvery strand into the basin, then stepping back, he took it from me and set it on the ground. Looking down and into it, I saw what looked like a crowd of people, so I looked closer and closer, until I was falling, Sirius right beside me.
We landed gracefully on the ground and looking around, I suddenly realized that we… were in the Great Hall?
Sirius looked at me and with a questioning expression, I looked around as if trying to figure out what in the— that's when I spotted… myself. I suddenly knew where and when I was and my stomach lurched.
In 1977, the year after the talent show, the students had petitioned again until Hogwarts was allowed to put on an end of year dance for sixth and seventh years. The students were desperate to have at least something nice and fun to do while the world outside was so dark and gloomy, that the school had agreed to put on the dance.
At just sixteen years old, I sat all by myself at a table, my elbows on the table as my chin rested on the back of one of my hands and the other was holding the drink that I hadn't really touched all that much since sitting down. Mouth suddenly dry, I walked over to the girl and sat across from her, though she didn't even move, just as if I weren't there, watching her.
Then, suddenly, as if my mind was throwing me through time and space, the memory was at the forefront of my mind and I was the girl across from me.
I sipped my glass of sparkling juice as I rested my chin on my hand and watched the boy in the crowd. I knew I'd never have a chance with him, not when he was totally and absolutely in love with Lily Evans.
I huffed and glared ahead, my expression so full of anger..Lily was muggleborn and I wasn't! I was a pureblood in Slytherin… and I was pretty and smart… or at least, that's what Zander told me.
I didn't believe him though.
Not really.
Yeah, I was easy, but it didn't make me pretty.
My constant battle with anorexia and bulimia had left me feeling worse than ever these days and nothing my brother could do would ever make me feel better, not the therapies or medications, though sometimes just him being there was enough.
And sometimes it wasn't.
In my opinion, I just wanted to have friends again, to be popular, cool, the one everyone wanted to sit with at lunch, the girl everyone wanted to be or be with. That was impossible though, I haven't had any good friends since fourth year, when Marcia Ludwick had turned them all against me, by telling everyone I was a muggle loving whore. They'd found out that my brother had defected from the Dark Lords ranks seven years ago, and was now married to a muggle. Then when, the next day, all the girls in my dorm had thrown things at me and called me a fat whore, and I saw all the guys around them laughing, I'd run out and knew I wouldn't have any good friends ever again.
I felt so alone.
Maybe that's why for the last year, I'd fallen in love with Severus Snape, I'd seen him get tormented by students too and maybe I just wanted someone to trauma bond with me.
Feeling my anxiety beginning to rise significantly, I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to spill down my face as I fumbled with the little bottle of soother I'd brought with me and taking a swig of it, I was just standing to leave, when suddenly, I was startled by someone, not having noticed them walk up to me.
"Um…" I looked behind me, looking for the person he must be looking for, but not seeing anyone, I looked back and furrowed my brow when he smiled at me.
"Hi." He said and looking up at him, my eyes were caught in his gray ones which sparkled with blue specks, reflecting the blue dressrobes he was wearing. "Wanna dance?"
"M-me?" I looked around, still as if I was unsure and with a smile, he nodded.
"Yeah, Xayla, right?"
Ohmygoodness, who was this boy and how did he know me?! "Y-yeah." I know I'd met him somewhere before, but I couldn't quite place it. Maybe he knew Rose and Zander? He kinda reminded me of Regulus.
"I like your dress." I looked down at the dark blue, strapless dress I wore, the skirt flowing out in elegant waves that spilled over my legs. I ran a hand over my stomach, seeming to admire the soft, sparkling fabric myself and when I looked back up, I was surprised to find that this boy was still there and still smiling at me.
"You never answered my question." He said and I blinked.
"Oh yeah."
"So, you wanna dance with me?" I looked up at him again and after a moment, I nodded as he held out a hand and I took it.
He led me out onto the dance floor and pulled me close as I looked up at him. We began to spin and doing so made me smile wide. Man, what cologne was this boy wearing? He smelled amazing! We danced to two slow songs, then as the night picked up, we found ourselves dancing beside another couple that I recognized as Lily Evans and James Potter.
"Xayla?" I looked at Lily, who gave me a wide smile. "How are you, sister?"
Now that made me laugh, I honestly kept forgetting that Lily and I were sisters-in-law but we were and suddenly, the thought made me laugh even harder.
"I'm good." I looked up at the boy I was dancing with and suddenly, I wasn't thinking about Snape anymore, or the girls that bullied me, or any of the drama I was going through at school. Suddenly, all I could think about was this boy and how I wished and hoped he wasn't just a dream of mine. I hope he's everything I'll ever need.
"Switch partners!" James called and suddenly, I was spinning away from the boy as a loud, rock song came on and within seconds, I was dancing with James Potter as we followed the rest on the dance floor, next, I was dancing with Lily, then after two more songs, I was with Sirius again and now, I couldn't stop smiling as the music slowed once more.
Leaning my head on the boy's chest for a moment, I suddenly opened them and I was no longer that little, insecure, hurt teenager, but I was my now, grown, and better self. I let out a sigh of relief and looking up, I saw Sirius sitting across from me as we watched the teenagers on the floor.
After that night, I hadn't had the confidence to go seek Sirius out, but he'd always been there, in the back of my mind, even when, the next year, I didn't attend my seventh year, because Zander had taken me into hiding with him when Rose had faked her death. I'd blocked out so much of my Hogwarts days that I must've blocked this out without realizing it.
"I thought you hated me when you wouldn't even look at me the next day." Sirius looked at me and as our eyes met, mine became wet.
"No, I was just scared." My voice cracked softly.
"Are you scared now?" He stood and held out a hand, which after a shake of my head, I took.
He pulled me onto the dance floor and as the memory continued, we danced to the music, both holding one another tightly. Finally, when ten minutes had passed, I looked up at him and locking eyes once more, I decided to tell him what I'd been needing to all day, but before I could utter a word, he said.
"Xayla, I know I don't have a ring, but who needs tradition. I love you, and you're everything I've ever wanted, so will you do me the honor of marrying me?"
