Chapter Title: A Lesson in Choking your Brother

Series Title: Unlikely Brothers

Author: Obi the Kid

POV: Dashen (Tannerlin is 19, Dashen is 25)

Chapter Summary: Tanner is keen to try a new Jedi trick using his brother as a guinea pig. (Dialogue only fic.)

Summary: A series of non-chronological stories taking place in the world of my OC's Dashen and Tannerlin.

Rating: PG

Characters: Dashen Lesedi and Tannerlin Vai (Jedi)


"No."

"Come on, Dash!"

"No."

"Just one time."

"No."

"If it doesn't work I won't try it again. Come on! Be a sport!"

"What part of NO don't you get? No. And no. And no again."

"Why not?"

"No."

"That's not a reason. I swear this is a skill that will help you get out of a jam when you're on a job. Well, as long as I'm with you. Why won't you let me try?"

"Because with my luck, and with yours, and mind you neither of us has very good luck with luck, you'll probably end up making me cluck like a chicken or have me sprouting yellow feathers."

"How would bird sounds and fluffy body coverings ever be helpful to you on a job?"

"If I ever have a job that forces me to infiltrate a chicken farm, we will find out. But still, no."

"I need to try this on an actual person. It doesn't work with inanimate objects and it doesn't work on dead ones either."

"Tanner, you started out throwing pillows at me. Then rocks. Then plants, roots and all, because why? Oh, because the plants were actually planted at the time. Then furniture. Oh then you started moving things away from me as I was about to use them. A fork. A data pad. Furniture again. My dinner. Then you graduated to moving me. And so on and so forth. I have no idea what skill you've been playing with now, but I'm too old for this crap. And please tell me you are not playing with dead things."

"I'm not and you're twenty-five."

"Yes. And the definition of twenty-five is too damn old to be tossed around by a little brother practicing Jedi magic tricks. No."

"Not so little anymore, Dash. I just hit nineteen. I'm old enough to teach. Old enough to be a public servant. Even old enough to vote, as I just did last week."

"And how'd the vote for Emperor thing go, huh? Work out for you? Did the whole 'Vote for Me or be Executed by my Minions' speech persuade you one way or the other?"

"Not the point. Although I see how it could be considered persuasive. And I did abstain on that particular section of the ballot. But that has nothing to do with my new trick. Let me try this on you just once."

"Okay, tell me. What would-be skill that you can only try on live people are you so eager to afflict on me?"

"I want to choke you."

"You want to what?"

"Choke you."

"Why?"

"Well, okay, I don't want to choke you I want to practice choking you."

"That doesn't sound better by the way. But I see that you are finally ready to kill your big brother?"

"Did I say kill? No. I said choke. There's a difference, Dash."

"Yes, choke leads to kill but kill doesn't lead to choke. No."

"Let me explain?"

"You can explain all you want Wizard Boy, but this guy is not going for it."

"All I do is force the collar on your tunic to tighten and then…or…wait…is it the muscles in your neck? Forgot. Hang on."

"That would seem to be a key ingredient in your experiment, Tanner."

"Got it! It's the muscles. It's like a spasm. I can use the Force to make them constrict and disable your ability to breathe. See? Not so bad. Ready to try?"

"Don't make me hurt you."

"Nothing can go wrong, Dash. If it doesn't work, you don't choke. Simple!"

"Simple! Nothing can go wrong, Dash. I swear! I'm an expert in all things stupid after all."

"No, that's your forte. Just one time, let me try. I'll owe you. Anything. You can name it."

"One time? And anything?"

"Promise!"

"Fine, damn it. But if you kill me, I swear I will hunt your butt down and get my revenge."

"Ah, sure. Okay. Whatever. Stand still now. You have to keep still or this won't work."

"And try telling the bad guy that if you ever get this thing perfected. Sorry, Mr. Bad Guy, I'd really like to choke the life out of you, but if you don't stand still for me, I'll never achieve my goal."

"Shut up. Ready?"

"Waiting. Should I commentate as this happens? There goes Tannerlin Vai. He raises his hand. Twists his fingers. Clenches his face."

"You feel anything tight?"

"Not yet. But there goes your face again. You look constipated, Tanner. You know they have fiber pills for that."

"Dash, seriously. Shut up. No distractions."

"Hand goes higher and…oh wait…I feel something. Yes, definitely….ah…hard…to…Tan…damn…it…can't…bre… DAMN IT! Ow! What the hell did you just do?"

"Ha! I choked you! And it worked! Let me try again, here…"

"Are you insane? NO! Not doing that again. I almost fell over dead on my bedroom floor."

"Such a liar. Your eyes never even bulged out of your head."

"Sorry. I'll try harder to be a better cadaver next time.

"I'm sure you will, and now I have another weapon!"

"Because you need so many of them for your horrifyingly violent job as teacher of eight year olds. In case one of them tries to ask a question out of turn, you can just choke them back into their seats. Valuable skill there, Mouse. Was there nothing else you could have been doing with your free time these last few weeks besides learning how to choke the life out of people?"

"It'll work for us one day, to our benefit. Yours especially. Remember that woman who tried to kill you with her hot pink leg stockings? Or the guy who tried to beat you to death with a live fish? Or the kid that tried to stab you in the stomach with the tail of his dead pet lizard?"

"I do."

"Well, with this ability, I could have taken them out."

"Yes, because this trick of your is so reliable and I drag you along on just so many of my jobs. Not!"

"It'll be useful one day. I know it. You think Colton would let me practice on him? He's a better test subject. A much bigger and stronger target."

"Sure. Go ahead. Try it on him when it gets home. I dare you."

"Hang on. On second thought, maybe I'd better not. If he kills me, I won't be able to perfect it. Death would be bad for my self-training."

"You are wise, young Jedi. Go forth with that knowledge and use it for good, not for strangling your only family."

"Wait until you see the next thing I'm trying to learn."

"If it involves maiming me, turning me into a giant orange frog or making me puke on cue, or any of the aforementioned chicken stuff, I'm out."

"No, none of that. It does involve the use of a bantha though."

"You're going to try to choke an animal that's the size of our apartment?"

"No, it's more of a regurgitation thing."

"You used to be such a good boy. Now you're nothing more than an imitation of me, but with creepy magic, you know that?"

"I am my brother's ah, brother."

"True. Hey, listen. Noises downstairs. That means Colton's home. Come on Tanner, let's go choke him!"

"Okay, but what if he chokes us first?"

"We die?"

"Works for me! Let's go!"


The end.