Chapter Title: You Smell Like a Swamp Frog

Series Title: Unlikely Brothers

Author: Obi the Kid

POV: Dashen (Tanner is 11, Dash is 17)

Chapter Summary:

Series Summary: A series of non-chronological stories taking place in the world of my OC's Dashen and Tannerlin.

Rating: PG

Characters: Tannerlin Vai, Dashen Lesedi, Virgil Colton


"Shut up or I swear I will kill you both!"

That was Colton. Not happy. Can't blame him.

"Damn it, Tanner, keep your lethally pointed little elbows to yourself. They're like tiny little bone spears of death. And move over. One more inch, and I fall right off this thing that has the nerve to masquerade as a bed."

That was me. Not happy. Can't blame me.

"They're not bone spears of death. And you're one to talk. You smell like a Degobah swamp frog."

That was Tanner. Not happy. Can't blame him.

We were all cranky. We were all exhausted. We were all stuck here in the crappiest of crappy cheap rental rooms in the middle of the darkest of dark nights, in the seediest of seedy towns.

And one would automatically assume this would be my fault, right?

Okay, yes, so it was. My fault. Again. As usual. But I wasn't responsible for dragging them along this time. This time their participation was voluntary. Sorta. Kinda.

"Tanner, one more time and you eat the dirt under this bed. And there is no such thing as a Degobah swamp frog. Stop poking my ribs with your elbow daggers!"

"There is such a thing and if you don't like it move away from me. I can't sleep anyway with you smelling like liquid excrement."

"My visit to the bottom of the swamp wasn't by choice if you recall correctly. I was trying to save your scrawny butt."

"If you hadn't blown up your client's pet sand snake, I would have never have been stuck where I was and you wouldn't have had to come save me."

"I didn't blow up the damn snake on purpose. It tried to eat my head and I was trying to defend myself. What would you have done?"

"Sand snakes don't eat people, Dash."

"Yeah, well, tell that to the exploded one. And for the last time, keep your poking elbows to yourself!"

I jabbed Tanner back this time. It was easy enough since we were plastered up against each other in this bed-like creation. Colton had claimed the actual bed across the room forcing my brother and I to either spend the night on the floor with who knew what climbing all over us, or squeeze into a bed clearly designed for one normal sized person rather than me and Mr. Bony Arms.

And speaking of, he nailed me after I jabbed him. Damn kid.

Colton's voice came from the other bed. It still wasn't happy.

"Don't make me get up and come over there, because I hold to my promise. I will kill you. And it will be slow and painful. You have thirty seconds to shut up."

He didn't mean it. Not really. "You don't mean that, Colt. You can't kill us. What would you do for fun then? You'd be bored without us."

"No, I'd be pleased and rested. And you do smell like a Degobah swamp frog by the way. Twenty seconds."

"This is not my fault, Colt. It's not!"

"I don't care about fault. I just want quiet. Fifteen."

"Then you take him. Then you'll see he's nothing but bones and he can jab your eyes out with his elbow spears of death."

"He's not mine, Dash. He's yours. Ten."

Tanner spoke up then. "Wait a minute. I don't belong…"

"Shut up kid," Colton and I replied in unison, before the big man finished with, "Five seconds, Dash."

Damn it all!

"Fine. I'll shut up. But Tanner has to shut up too. And he has to keep his elbows to himself. Just lay still, Tanner!"

"I can't lay still, everywhere I put my head I smell you. Do you want me to have nightmares about killer swamp frogs?"

Okay, so the next part really was my fault. I rolled over and tackled my brother, wrestling with him on the bed. Legs and arms flying in every direction; and even a bit of hair pulling added in. And this very mature scene lasted about ten seconds, before the each of us was lifted by our collars and tossed on to the ground. We landed near a window. I could tell because I could see Colton's light blonde hair shining in the moonlight and I could see the flaring eyes glaring down at us.

He said slowly and carefully then, "You are right about one thing, Dashen. I will not actually kill you. I have no need for prison. However, it may be worse for you to have to sleep the entire night on this dirt floor. You think your brother's pointy elbows are bad, well, wait until you feel the sting of lava ants. They don't climb, so you're safe on the bed, but on the ground, well…they do enjoy munching on soft, meaty human flesh."

That sounded bad. I should probably promise to behave. Getting eaten alive by lava ants wasn't on my list of things to do anytime soon…or anytime ever.

"Truce. Okay, Tanner? We just get back on the bed, lay flat and still and get through the night. You are bony, I stink and life goes on. Tomorrow we can find a river or something to wash in and then figure out a way home. Deal?"

My little brother jabbed me once more. I could hear his smile though with the words that followed.

"Truce. I'll try to keep my arms to myself. I'm tired. It's been a long day."

"You're telling me. Can we get up now, Colt? We'll be good. We promise."

Again we were lifted by our collars and deposited onto the bed. Only this time, at opposite ends so that Tanner's feet were at my head and vice versa.

"This should prevent any further rib poking and should help with some of the stink coming off of the one of you. Now, go the hell to sleep. That's an order."

I settled a deep breath. It was a mistake. Tanner's socked feet were in my face. His socks had been water logged in the swamp where I'd taken an unwanted bath. This wasn't going to end well.

"Tanner, move your feet out of my face. They smell like a swamp."

"Then you should be okay with it, they smell like you. Ouch!"

I smacked him in the face with my covered toes.

And there came the elbows.

It was on.

It didn't last long.

Not only were we removed from the bed, but also from the room and from the building. In fact, the remainder of the night, we spent crouched in a cold corner in the damp dirt next to a waste dumpster.

We'd earned it.

I had Tanner tucked under my arm for warmth. It wasn't brutal cold. Colton would never let us freeze to death – not on purpose – but it was chilly enough, especially for the one of us who was nothing but skin and bones.

"Mouse."

Tanner looked up at me and asked, "What?"

"Not you. An actual mouse. There." The light from a nearby pub offered enough to see by. The mouse was about the size of a bantha pup. "Okay, probably not a mouse. More like a giant alley rat. They don't eat humans, do they?"

"I hope not. But if they do, I'll be safe. No meat on these bones."

"Yeah. Finally your elbows of doom will come in handy. Maybe you can spear it to death."

"Maybe you can smother it with your smell."

"Funny, Mouse."

"Where?"

"No, you. I meant you, Mouse. Not a mouse."

"I need a new nickname."

His head leaned toward me and I tugged my brother a bit closer.

"A problem for another day, Tanner. Right now, we should sleep. Or try to. Just watch where you put those elbows."

"I will. And you really do smell like a swamp frog, Dash," said the kid who still had his head leaning on me. "But you make a good pillow. You're not all skin and bones like someone else we know."

He laughed at himself for that one. I did too and when we woke the next morning, we were covered with three thick blankets.

Uh huh, I knew Colton was a softie at heart when it came to us - late night bickering, bony elbows, swampy smells and all.

I greeted him with a "Good morning, Mr. Softie," as we ventured back into the rental room.

And then Mr. Softie landed a smart thwack to the back of my head.

It hurt. We laughed. And I still smelled like a swamp frog. All the way home.


The End