Chapter Title: The Truth about Kossi

Series Title: Unlikely Brothers

POV: Dashen (Tanner is 14, Dash is 20)

Chapter Summary: Dashen learns the truth about his brother's death.


You know that feeling of your heart dropping into your stomach? Or that sensation of your entire mind and body going numb? I've known them before. I felt them again as the words slouched out of the fat green man standing in front of me. I didn't believe it though. How could I? I knew the truth. I'd lived it seven years ago. There was no way there was any truth to what he'd just said. It couldn't be. No. Just…no. Not possible.

But why else would he say such a thing? I mean, I'd heard him right, hadn't I? Maakel Malek was a criminal, sure, and hot head, but not this. He wasn't capable of this. Only the purest of evil was capable of this. Men like Palpatine who ordered young Jedi killed simply because they belonged to an Order that opposed him. Malek wasn't in that league, he couldn't be. I'd worked for him in the past. It wasn't long after my parents died when I was just learning the job. He was cranky and ill tempered but…to commit the murder of a child? What he said just wasn't possible. But he'd said it. Or maybe this was all just a game he was playing with my mind to get back at me for the job I'd so royally screwed up yesterday. I didn't work for him often these days, but on occasion when the timing was right. But this one got messed up and I cost him money. A lot of money. But still…

I couldn't believe it. And I wouldn't. I didn't…until he said it again and his vile confession dripped from his mouth like venom.

"Trying to digest it, aren't you Lesedi? You can weigh it however you like, but you heard me right and all that mind twisting you're doing won't change the fact that I ended that boy's life with just a single act of artificial kindness. Your brother was so fond of those frozen fruit drinks, all I needed to do was add a little of this and a bit of that and his time was done. You remember that job you wrecked back then? Not all that dissimilar to the one you botched yesterday. You remember; the one that got security on my ass for the entirety of the next month? I lost a lot of business because of that. Money, you idiot. Money. You cost me hundreds of thousands or more. And that, no, I couldn't just sit back and allow some snotty thirteen year old child do such damage to what I had spent countless and painstaking years creating. So, I took it out of your hide, literally. If only you'd had the resources to dig deeper and get a quality healer to look after him, the poison would have probably been detected and your sweet, innocent Kossi Lesedi might still be alive. Instead, he lived out his final weeks by way of an excruciatingly painful death. And now here you are screwing me yet again. Oh my, how shall I ever repay you this time?"

I stood deathly still as he spoke, taking in every syllable of every malicious word. All these years I'd though that Kossi died of an illness. A simple illness that progressed and infected his body until it killed him. My limited resources at the time (I had nothing except my brother) prevented me from offering him more than the most basic of care -second rate street healers. I'd done all I could given our circumstances.

Now to listen to this…

I launched myself at the old man and was abruptly slammed to the ground by his two extra large bodyguards. My legs tried to gather me back up, but they wobbled badly and my next attempted lunge left me slammed onto my backside again, my face smacked against the dirt.

My struggle frozen in place now as powerful hands held me to the ground.

Perhaps this was to be my end.

And then, another set of hands. This pair brandishing a blaster that was suddenly aimed at Malek's head.

"Tell your goons to step back now or I end you Malek. And trust me, I wouldn't mind at all taking over your territory. A lot of healthy cash flow that area you control." Colton stood over me and just behind. Not one blaster, but two. Fingers on the triggers. "Dash, stay where you are. Tanner, keep him down there. Oh, Malek. Malek. Malek. We had such a healthy understanding. You stay out of my way and I stay out of yours. So very simple, wasn't it? But then you go and mess with one of my boys. And now this confession? The murder of a child? You poisoned an eight year old to death because of a job gone bad? An eight year old child. And I should let you live why?"

I was flat on my butt. My hands shook. Arms. Legs. Hell, I couldn't even control my breathing. Emotionally I was ready to explode into a million pieces. And still I don't think I was comprehending what I'd heard.

Colton continued as he and Malek launched into a verbal sparring match. I knew Colt wouldn't kill Malek. He might be a criminal and perhaps had ended a few lives in his time, but he wasn't a cold blooded killer. He just wasn't. I wouldn't allow him to be. Not in my head. Not in my heart.

But me…I wanted nothing more than to strangle the life out of the slobbering fat man with my bare hands. At least my mind wanted to go that route. My body on the other hand was failing me badly. I couldn't do anything except sit and shake and glare. Tanner kept one hand on my left arm in case my body decided to cooperate and launch itself again, but despite what I wanted to do, I was pretty confident that my body wasn't physically able to do anything other than collapse. Shock, when it really grabs hold, takes you down hard.

Malek did his best to entice me, but Colton was fighting my battle now.

"Let's talk honestly, shall we?" Malek spewed at Colton. "It's that type of day, isn't it? Honesty can be so much fun and to be honest, I'm not even sure why you keep this one around, Virgil. Just a matter of time before he screws you like he did me and costs you a pile of money. He's a failure and a waste. Although I do find it interesting that he's found another little brother. How convenient that they really are disposable. Lose one, just go find another. Simple! What happens when you lose this one, kid?"

I really did try to go after him again that time. He wasn't taking Tanner from me. Not in this lifetime. My attempt was futile and Colton took steps closer to aim both blasters between Malek's slanted evil yellow eyes.

"Make any attempt to touch either one of these kids and I won't need another reason, Malek." Pounds of pressure sat steady on two triggers. Colton had always been a man who said exactly what he meant. And right now, every uttered syllable was filled with a controlled ice-coated fury.

Malek seemed unbothered. "You disappoint me, Virgil. You truly do, my friend. You and I could have been such a team. We were for a time in our youth, remember? But you just had to go and get yourself hooked up with these kids that you actually give a damn about. You can't care about these things. Runners are nothing more than tools to the riches. They serve their purpose and you toss them away. It's too bad you haven't learned that lesson yet. Yes, that's too bad. I'll leave now, I suppose. But I offer a warning. Keep you and your boys out of my territory. One step in the wrong direction for either of them..."

"Get the hell off my property, Malek. I will give orders to shoot on sight if you return."

He left, but I still couldn't pull myself completely vertical. I could barely stay in the position I was. We were on the steps of Colton's outdoor porch now. I kept shaking. It got worse when I finally sat forward and tucked into my knees and then promptly threw up all over my boots. And still the shaking continued. Colton disappeared for a minute as Tanner stayed with me. Puke or no puke, he sat at my side, draped a secure arm around me, pulled me close and let me go all-out emotional into his chest.

I lost it. I mean completely lost it. All these years of knowing the reality of watching Kossi deteriorate in front of my eyes, each excruciating day dragging him closer to death. The inner pain and torture he suffered. And now this…the reality of the actual truth. Kossi didn't die from illness; he was murdered in cold, calculated blood. Poison. A treatable one for those with the money and connections to afford the best of healers.

I could have saved him. I…I could have saved the life of my little brother. The one person that meant the world to me.

But what did that matter now?

Here I was, twenty years old, seven years removed from the death of that little brother and falling to pieces on the front porch of a well known criminal's house in the arms of my non-blood family; a former Jedi with his own target on his back. I was living the life, wasn't I?

Long minutes slogged by. I had a hard time catching my breath, I was crying so hard at one point. It was a feeling I'd experienced far too many times in my life. Those two other times I'd reached this level of emotional brokenness? The day that Kossi died and the day two years prior when our parents died together. It's a feeling that's familiar when you give into it again, even after so long. I remember so vividly holding Kossi in my arms during those last few hours of his life. I had known his time had come and all I wanted was to make absolute sure that in his final breaths he knew that his big brother loved him.

Tanner held me close until Colton returned and knelt on the step in front of me. I lifted my head long enough to see what he was doing. Pulling my soiled boots off and settling my feet into my favorite pair of walking slippers. I should have felt embarrassed, but I didn't. And I should have felt mortified when Colton then pulled me away from Tanner, lifted me into his arms and carried me into the house like a father would a small, sick child.

But I didn't.

He set me into the corner (the softest possible spot) of the giant couch. Tanner sat to my left, almost motionless, but there if I needed to bury myself again. I don't recall ever feeling so many conflicted emotions at one time and it hurt like hell. I still wanted to strangle the life out of the pompous piece of crap that was Malek, but it was important that I let it go for now. It wouldn't do me a damn bit of good to rage over what I had no control over and as much as I wanted to end his poor excuse for a life, it wasn't me.

Retaliation by murder was for the pigs of the world. Tannerlin could vouch for me on that one.

So, I let the anger fade as my body slumped limply into the couch. My head cradled by the intense softness of the back cushions. I had control now (mostly) as I reached over and patted Tanner's hand. No need to say thank you. He knew. But I said it anyway.

"Thanks, Mouse. Not the news I was expecting when I crawled out of bed this morning."

My hand felt a comforting squeeze. "No blame though, right?"

I didn't need an explanation of what he meant. It was simple enough and I fully expected to blame myself all these years later for Kossi's death; unable to provide the things that a sick little brother needed when he needed it the most – the things that could possibly have saved his life. Oh yeah, it would weigh on me. Big time. And I wasn't about to lie to Tanner about it.

"Knowing what I know now, I have to take part of the blame. He was my little brother; my responsibility with our parents gone. I failed to protect him. I failed to look after him."

Tanner shook his head and leaned a shoulder into mine. "Stop it, Dash, just stop." There was a slight hitch in his voice. "You start down that path and you'll crash and burn. And you can't do that. Not to me."

My green eyes fell shut and I breathed deeply through my nose, held it for several seconds and then blew out through my mouth. I did this for a counted minute. It was a Jedi technique that Tanner had taught me to relax and refocus. And he was right, about me heading down that path. I couldn't do that to him. Or to myself. Or even to Colton. Refocus, Dash. Refocus. More deep breaths. More relaxation. Tanner had told me this was a form of meditation. Jedi had used it in coordination with the Force. The youngest were taught the practice at a very early age and learned to strengthen and perfect it as they got older. It helped to de-stress and bring the entire mind and body to a contented level. For me, it worked, at least for a time.

"I mean it, Dash."

I nodded my acceptance. "I know. You win. I'll try hard not to get lost in the blame, okay?"

"Good. You're not okay though."

There was a question behind the statement. I answered honestly. "No. And I wouldn't mind if Malek's land speeder spontaneously blew up on his way home either," I said with a weary smile.

"Not that path either," Tanner replied; his face drenched in seriousness.

I sat up and dropped my head into my hands. I felt the emotions surfacing again and tried to hold them back. My vision blurred in my hands. Great. I was already an idiot in Colton's eyes. I didn't need to be a bawling and useless idiot.

It's too bad what I wanted and what I couldn't help were at odds with each other. My mind said one thing and my heart said another. And as sure as the sun rose and fell every day, I started crying again, damn it. Not as bad this time, but enough to bloodshot my eyes.

Tanner was sitting forward now too, a hand wrapped around my knee and shoulder pressed to mine. I babbled some. About Kossi. About the kind of kid he was. About how he just absolutely loved being a little brother. How he fought so hard through his sickness – poisoning – to be strong against his failing body. I talked about how I about lost my mind after he died. And how, not long after, I had seriously considered walking away from my own life. I even made a failed attempt. Seems I couldn't do anything right back then.

All of this though, it was a good release. A needed release. I know I went on for a couple of hours. Colton came and went, bringing me hot tea and food to replace what I'd puked up before. I wasn't hungry, but I knew it was better for me to eat. My brain eventually melted into mush and at last I couldn't resist the call of the unconscious world. There was no desire to go up to my room in our apartment though. My legs weren't there anyway. They were nothing but jelly. Pure jelly.

Instead I leaned back again into the couch and closed my eyes.

I knew Tanner was still next to me and I said to him, "Stick around, huh?"

"No chance of anything else, big brother."

I smiled lightly at the name and practiced a few more of the meditation breaths. Voices surrounded me as I floated in that cloudy zone that comes just before deep sleep. I couldn't make out all the words, but they were comfortable and familiar. The only two people I had in my life right now that actually meant anything to me. A blanket went over my legs and a big hand briefly gripped my covered knee. Colton. A shoulder touched mine, just enough for support - to be there when the predictable bad dreams would take hold. Tanner.

Ironically enough, these two were the ones who had become important to me because of Kossi.

In death, Kossi had brought them into my life.

I knew the truth now. About his death. It was what I'd never expected. An act of pure and despicable evil. One that Kossi of all people never deserved. He was just a kid. No, that was wrong. He wasn't just a kid. He was the best kid. The best little brother.

I found myself on my bedroom balcony hours later. Didn't really remember coming here, but I had a valid excuse with my mind being all fuzzy and whatnot. I was alone, watching the sun dipping closer to the horizon. A cool night would take hold soon. At some point my legs must have found their ability to move again, because I was standing and leaning against the railing, bent slightly forward with my hands supporting my chin. I must have woken and told the others that I needed some time by myself; time to absorb what I'd learned and to come to terms with the truth of Kossi's death. Alone was good sometimes. Times like now.

Alone didn't last though. I knew Colton was standing in the doorway to the balcony, but I didn't turn to him – just kept watching the sun slide deeper towards its dark slumber.

"I'm okay, Colt. Just need some time to myself."

"I know you do, but I figured I'd stop in before I left for the evening. Errands and all that."

Errands. Sure. Whatever. He probably meant women. He had his fair share of female friends here and there. No, that wasn't fair. Well, not fair, but at least partially true. But, on the other hand, he did have an enterprise to maintain and that took work. Maybe he did have errands. Did it really matter? No. He was what he was in his world, and he had to keep that running. In my world, he was a boss, a landlord and a good friend. Family really.

"Where's Tanner?" I said, still facing away.

"Downstairs at the bar working on his school home assignments. He'll be up late this evening I suspect to catch up what he didn't get done this afternoon."

"Okay. See you tomorrow then?" I did turn around now, leaning against the rail for support. Colton was angry under the calm façade that was his usual display. Malek would be on his crap list for a long time and if the man did step one foot off that short line Colton had drawn, he would not be long for this life.

But I didn't want to think about him anymore. He wasn't worthy of one more second of my thoughts. Only one deserved that right now and I blinked rapidly to slow down the next onslaught of blurred vision as Kossi came on again.

"No. I'll be MIA for a couple of days. Tomorrow, you and the kid get the hell away from here for a while. You know where you need to go," Colton said kindly. I had expected him to turn and leave then, but he didn't. Instead, he moved several steps closer and wrapped me in a hug. He wasn't a big hugger, preferring a slap on the back, a phony punch in the face or even a hair ruffle now and then. Mostly, he showed his soft side by just calling me an idiot and it was usually all I needed. But sometimes, hair ruffles and nicknames weren't enough. This was one of those times. Oddly though, I didn't hug back, at least my arms didn't move. And I did try them, but they seemed to be pinned to my sides as I leaned against the big man's chest. I felt myself going fast. It was all starting to bubble up again and sure enough, for the third time in the last whatever hours…yup…here came the tears. Gods, if I kept this up, I'd just turn into a teenage girl completely.

Part of me wanted to pull away, to show that I really did have some type of emotional stability left and that I could deal with this. The larger part of me was emotionally exhausted and I easily fell into the support. My shoulders went limp, although I managed to keep my legs from following suit. Score one for me! The legs held me up as Colton finally released me and took my face between his hands.

"Listen to me. Don't let what Malek did change what and who you are, Dash. Kossi's death wasn't in vain. All you need do is look at Tannerlin to see that." A gentle pat on the face followed and then, "Tomorrow. I mean it."

I nodded and trailed him inside and downstairs. I felt like a lost cub following his mother, but I wasn't completely lost. I was coming down for a reason. Tanner was at the bar, typing away on his data pad when I came up behind him, mussed up his long brown hair right before I wrapped an arm snuggly around his neck and pulled him briefly to me. Colton was right (as usual). In some odd way, Tanner was Kossi's legacy. One would never have come into my life without the other. And I couldn't let the cloud of truth screw up the progress I'd made since my brother's death.

And I also knew exactly what Colton was meant when he talked about tomorrow. I released Tanner after a minute and said, "You and me, Mouse. Tomorrow. After school. How about we visit that cottage that Colton has near the seaside in Cinder?"

I looked toward the front door in time to see Colton give me a smile and an approving nod before he left. Tanner seemed confused though.

"But you don't like the sea. You told me the sand gives you a red, pus-filled rash and that the spray of the salt water makes you all congested and that the sun fries your brain. Oh and that there are giant killer crabs there that can eat you."

Had I said those things? Sounded like me and my built in excuses for not wanting to go near the sea. There was no rash or killer crabs, but there were memories in the sand and the water. Kossi loved the sea. Playing in the waves. Running on the beach. Digging in the sand. His entire life, he was always a 'kid' in every sense of the word. In the six years I'd known Tanner, he'd always wanted to visit the ocean, but I'd always had those excuses at the ready. The brain frying thing was my personal favorite. Of course, in reality, none of those things were true. It was only the memories I'd been avoiding; memories that I believe I was finally prepared for. Kossi deserved to be remembered for what he loved the most, not for what I feared the most.

"Well, no rash, congestion, killer crabs or brain frying. I lied. A lot."

"A real shocker there, Dash. The only planet known to have giant killer crabs is Rasor and that's in the outer rim." Smart ass. He would know that. "But why do you want to go there now? Every time I've asked about it the past…"

I stopped him. "Because I need to, Mouse. Kossi lived for the ocean. You couldn't get him off the beach once he was there. And you…you are so much like him in certain ways. I know without a doubt that you'll love it too. I can't…" My voice broke slightly as thoughts of my little brother kept floating back, but I recovered. "I can't wallow in the truth that I know now. I can only try to celebrate the eight years I had with him. This is one way I can do that. Malek took my brother away, but he can't take the good memories. Not ever." I sniffed and wiped at my nose, determined to keep the waterworks at bay this time. "Just…bear with me okay?"

Tanner smiled and said, "We'll be all right, Dash."

"Yeah, Mouse, I know we will."

"Now, if you do get a red pus-filled rash or get chomped on by a giant killer crab, can I laugh?"

My turn to smile. "You can laugh all you want, little brother."

"And will you tell me about the times that you and Kossi visited the sea?"

I reached over to him and tousled his hair. The fact that he wasn't running away from my somber mood, but actually wanted to hear my Kossi stories…it got me. No crying this time though. I wasn't a completely lost cause yet.

"Yeah, I can do that. I've got some great stories. I think there really is one about a rash too. Tomorrow, kid, you and me. Now go on and finish your assignments."

Dreams came and went that night. Mostly bad, but a few good ones too. The one I remembered most wasn't one of the bad. It was one of the good dreams; the best dream. I was twelve and Kossi was seven. It was a year after our parents died and it was Kossi's belated birthday wish. We were seaside; maybe twenty or so miles from where Tanner and I were now. We were running on the beach, bare feet sinking in the sand, splashing in the water and laughing hysterically as imaginary mutant sharks with laser eyes chased us in the shallows.

It was one of my best days ever.

I'd have to remember those imaginary mutant laser-eyed sharks when Tanner and I got to the ocean. I mean, after all, there's really not a feeling in the world like running on the beach, splashing in the water and laughing hysterically with your brother; even when you're twenty years old and supposedly all grown up.

Later…tomorrow…soaked in sea water and covered in sand, Tanner knew that feeling too.

And if you can believe it, the both of us managed the whole day without being eaten by imaginary mutant laser-eyed sharks…oh and without being chomped on by giant killer crabs.

It was one of my best days ever.


END