September

Dear Will,

A month has passed. A month of refreshing your name on Google. A month of begging Hopper, your mom, and Jonathan for updates. A month of silence on your part.

My mind keeps going back to that night. Did I miss something? I've analyzed every sentence you said at least a hundred times. Were you unhappy? Did you know you were in danger? Did I do something?

That's enough of a pity for me. I should tell you what's going on in my life. I've tried to put more effort into my class. That only happened after Mom and Nancy nagged me enough. It's hard to pay attention when I keep imagining you hurt or worse. Everyone at school knows he was "the guy with the missing boyfriend." The pity looks make me want to drop out.

I'm going to move to a happier topic. Lucas and Max got engaged. Yeah, that was a shock to everyone too. It was very low-key. From how they described it, it sounded like they were drinking, and Lucas, out of nowhere, said, "Let's get married." Max responded with a yes after realizing he was serious. Lucas went and bought an engagement ring in the morning. They explained over-text they wanted to live in the moment. They didn't want to wait anymore. Lucas then called me, asking me to be his best man.

Maybe they have the right idea. If I adopt that mentality, I'm giving up on you. What if I choose to live in the moment, find someone new, then you knock on my door one day? It's only been a month. The police haven't even called off all searches yet.

I feel like crap unloading all of this onto you. You might be in a worse place than me right now. Then again, it's like you're going to read them. Even if you arrived at my door right now, I would lock these letters in a drawer, and they'd never see the light of day. These letters are just my personal therapy project that I hope I won't need for long.

That's all that's going on in my life. It's all eating, sleeping, and worrying about you. Dustin is coming to town next weekend. We're going to this Dungeons and Dragons convention they're having. Next weekend can't come fast enough. I need an excuse to leave for something other than classes.

I hope this is the last letter. I can't deal with life if this has to go on any longer.

Love, your boyfriend,

Mike