Chapter Title: My Idiots
Series Title: Unlikely Brothers
POV: Colton
Ages in this chapter: Tanner (12) Dashen (18)
Chapter Summary: When the boys are away on Tanner's school trip, Colton realizes how much he actually misses them.
"You all right, boss?"
My head of security and most trusted friend. Sydenious Greyer. Always keeping a close eye on me and my moods. Especially now as I was sitting and staring off into oblivion when I should have been cleaning up the bookkeeping for the past week.
"What?" I shook my head to bring me back. "What's that, Sy?"
"You all right? You've been preoccupied recently. Not as alert as usual and more than a little off."
My face scrunched a confused look, not sure what I was feeling, but definitely feeling...off? Was that it? Not ill, just slightly off kilter. "Yeah, no. I'm fine. It's been a long last few months, with the some of those Empire goons sticking their damn noses into my business dealings recently. Fending them off has been a chore. They're gone now, but maybe I'm feeling the fatigue finally."
"Could be. Take off a while with one of your lady friends, I'll keep an eye on things."
By things, he meant everything. My business, the house, the bar. And he would do a damn good job. He always did when I disappeared for a time. Periodic sabbatical is what I called it. That wasn't it though. It wasn't about time off. I wasn't sure what was going on.
"I'll think about it, Sy. Let's get this finished up and you can get out of here."
An hour went by and we polished off the bookkeeping; Sy heading out the door with an order to call him if I wanted to take him up on his offer.
Comfortable clothes tossed on and I grabbed an ale from the chiller. The couch would be my comfortable companion for the evening. That and good holo-film. I sat and drank and watched and still...something was off.
Something was...missing?
Ah, hell.
Something was missing. More specifically, someone. Two someone's.
Those two damn idiots that has wormed their way into my life three years back. They'd been off planet for three weeks. The ridiculously expensive school that Tannerlin attended (and I paid for) had it's annual 'Escape Quest' program where students and their parents took an extended field trip to various parts of Terra. The kids got to hang out together in a non-school atmosphere, engaging with and against the parents and teachers in supposedly fun, competitive activities. As Tannerlin didn't have a parent, and I wasn't about to embarrass myself in front of anyone other than my own self, I certainly wasn't tagging along as a parental type. So, the older one, Dashen, being the fake big brother than he was, got himself tagged in.
Tannerlin Vai and Dashen Lesedi.
With them gone, it was different around here. Quiet. Non-chaotic. Normal. Like my life used to be. All those things I sincerely appreciated in life.
So why the hell did I have this annoying empty feeling? That's what it was. That's why I was 'off' as Sy had said. But why? I had my life back. My house back. Less stress. Less worry. Certainly less aggravation. Everything was good.
Except it wasn't.
Had I changed so much in three years time? Had they changed me that much?
No. No, this was wrong. I should be ecstatic and joyous and excited to have this time away from those two. They made my life crazy and unnecessarily draining. Always bickering and in my face and hugging and worrying and feeling way too many emotions that I didn't have time for.
But I'd made time for them, hadn't I?
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
I'd gone from a alluring bachelor loner with a top notch criminal empire at the palm of my hands - to a fake uncle with two idiots under my roof and sometimes under my direct care. And they were idiots, especially the older one. The younger one just followed in his footsteps. They were idiots...but damn it, they were my idiots. Idiots that I'd become used to; that I actually cared about.
Idiots that had been out of my life now for three weeks, after being in it for three years.
I sighed heavily and grabbed another ale from the chiller. Seemed like a good night to get drunk, but I wouldn't. I didn't. Just enough to take the edge off.
Glancing at the wall chrono, I caught the time and more importantly, the date. Three days. They were scheduled back in three days. The threes. Weeks, years, days.
"Gods, have I softened that much?" I began, talking out loud to myself, grateful that Sy had gone so he didn't think I'd lost my mind. Maybe he already assumed it. He'd warned me more than once, more than a few times actually, about taking in the Lesedi kid. And again with he Jedi kid. Assuming they would bring trouble. They had, in ways. But in other ways, they'd brought something to me that I hadn't realized I was missing; that I didn't even know I was needing.
A family.
A weird one, sure, but a family.
Now they were away, only temporarily, but for an extended period and I felt it. Probably felt it more than I should. It's just how it was now. I couldn't change what I felt or what I needed.
I needed them. Those two idiots. The tall skinny one with straight black hair that was always hanging in his face. The one who had lost his baby brother and ended up completely broken inside. The short thin one with the pesky braid and the palest of brown eyes that held the greatest depths of emotion. The one who had lost his Jedi Master in the great purge and he too, completely broken inside.
They needed each other. I needed them. Some type of idiotic circle it seemed. Damn it.
I had downed my second ale when the door opened and the knock sounded simultaneously.
"Hey boss." Sydenious in all his giant dark form walked back in. He knew. He wasn't a fool. Sy had asked me if was all right before, but he knew what was going on in my mind. I pointed to the chiller.
"Grab an ale for yourself and have a seat." He did. I looked at him. "You know, don't you? Hell, you knew long before I did. Probably waited for me to figure it out on my own. That's why you came back tonight. Leave for just enough time for everything to finally download into my stubborn mind, and then stroll back in. I swear I'm as big an idiot as they are."
Sy held his bottle toward mine. "You started getting weird during the second week they were gone. I didn't think much of it until the beginning of the third when your focus really started jumping all over the place. By the way, I fixed a few things behind your back while you were...elsewhere. I also dispatched several of those 'Empire goons' that you referred to earlier."
Smiling and toasting my ale towards him, I said, "Thank you, old friend. You take care of me when I can't seem to do it myself."
"Any time, boss. You really miss Vai and Lesedi that much, huh?"
I laughed under my breath, still not believing it myself. "Yeah, I guess I do. Who'd have thought it? Damn kids for getting into my head like that."
Sy shrugged and lifted eyebrows at me, often hard to read on the outside, I'd known him long enough to know that that particular gesture essentially meant that I was a sucker. But it also meant that he was okay with it. And that in itself was a big step for him.
"Wouldn't have happened, boss, if somewhere you weren't in need. I may not be Lesedi's biggest fan. Have never been. I'll admit however that he's grown on me. Not the complete disaster that I thought him to be."
Huh. Hadn't expected that. Seems these two kids had forced their way into more than one life - at least to an extent.
"Well, it's no excuse for me to neglect my businesses. I appreciate you having my back as you always do, Sy. I'd be lost without you."
With a bow of his head and another toast of his ale, he stood to leave. Again. "Until tomorrow, boss."
"Yeah. See you then."
I drifted off to sleep after that. No even bothering to drag myself to the bedroom. The next days were a blur. I refocused. Made sure my people and operations were healthy, functioning and safe. Of course they were. I had a trusted friend backing me up when I slipped.
On that third day since, late in the afternoon, the pair in question pushed in through the front door of my house - not their assigned private apartment entrance as I'd instructed them countless times - bickering about what? The biting abilities of Swamp Rats versus Lopers. I shook my head, as I often did with them as they tossed their travel bags on the floor and strolled to the kitchen to get drinks, still arguing. Loudly.
My hand slammed the chiller door closed from behind.
"Hey!" They both replied in unison.
"Hey nothing, you idiots. What exactly is wrong with this picture, besides the fact that you are verbally sparring about ferocity of various rodents?" I motioned toward front door, the bags, and directly at them. Of course they stared at me dumbfounded. Should I have expected anything different?
So, with a hand on each, grabbing them by the scruff of their necks, I lifted them and set them back next to their bags. "You barge in here after three weeks, no hi, hello, drop your bags anywhere you damn well please, yelling about swamp rats and you want me to be okay with that?"
A shared look as reality dawned on them. So caught up in their sometimes too co-dependent brother relationship, the obvious had been forgotten.
Dashen. "Okay, my fault. Sorry, Colt. Hey, look. We're back!"
Tannerlin. "We missed you, Colton. A lot."
"That's better. And?" I motioned with a nod toward the bags on the floor and the stairs to their apartment. Tannerlin, the lesser of the two idiots, missed the hints completely and instead thought of something else that I honestly hadn't. He turned to me and latched arms around my chest in a firm hug. The boy loved to hug, especially when he hadn't seen you in more than a few days. How I forgot that aspect of him, not a clue, but it brought me back to at least part of the reason why I had grown so fond of these two. They never really asked anything of me. Instead, they accepted what I offered, but appreciated every last bit it all. Not once did they ever ask for more.
Tannerlin in particular gave back in ways that were natural to him, but ways in which he probably didn't think much about. A hug here. A smile there. A positive thought. A feeling of sympathy or offer of friendship. That was Tannerlin Vai.
The hug was held tight until Dashen decided that Tannerlin was clinging rather than hugging. "Come on, Mouse. Squeeze him any tighter and his eyes will bug out." With a hand on the shoulder, the older brother moved the younger away.
"We really did miss you, Colton. Honest. Dashen was bored and annoyed - out of his skull - but I had a great time." Tannerlin said.
Dashen sparred. "I was forced to hang out with a group of actual
parents for three weeks who spent their time comparing all the grand accomplishments of their child. He did this. She did that. One outdid the next, outdid the next. Snooze. Next time, Colton goes as your fake uncle."
"It was a parent-child trip Dashen. Colton is not my parent."
"And I am? I'm six years older than you. Barely an adult. I don't qualify as parent. Technically, I don't even qualify as a brother, but there I was, rambling on stupidly about your accomplishments as they all stared at me with pity about our artificial back story - losing parents and siblings - and then hearing them get all emotional about me raising you and...it was painful. But! I did it. Only for you, little brother, so there. Next year, you just call in sick."
"I'm not gonna call in sick, Dash. I like the annual escape. I get to visit my classmates away from school and learn more about them and learn from them. And we learn so many other things about the planet and newly discovered species and..."
"And way too much learning, kid. You've got serious issues in that area."
They carried on. I listened. That something in me that had been empty for these last three weeks, suddenly not so much. That place was filling rapidly as Dashen and Tannerlin continued their pointless squabbling that had become such a big part of what made them them. A big part of my life too. I just hadn't realized how much.
"All right, boys," I said finally. "Thank you for your entertaining return, but I have things to do..." I lied "...and you have..."
Dashen interrupted me. "You don't have anything to do, Colt, come on. You missed us too. Admit it."
Could I admit it? Should I? What was wrong if I did? Would they hold it over my head, use it against me as some type of humorous blackmail?
Probably.
But. No, wait. This was stupid. Ridiculous really. So... "Yes, I did miss you. Well, Tannerlin more than you, Dashen, but I'll admit to missing you as well. I suppose. For a few minutes at least."
"Wow, that was deep, Colt. Good job." Dashen and his smart-ass mouth. "Come on, Mouse, let's get you upstairs, shower and bed. And don't argue with me about it. You can yak all you want about swamp rats being more vicious than lopers, at least lopers don't stink. You, little brother, smell like a swamp rat."
The younger gave a sidewards glance at the older. Part in humorous defiance, but mostly with love. Sure, Dashen may not be a parent as defined in the traditional sense for the the Escape Quest they'd been on, but in every way that truly mattered, he was that and more.
So, what did that make me? Did it really matter?
Tannerlin escaped his brother's glare to grab me in another hug before he hustled up the stairs.
Yeah. It mattered.
"He really did miss you, Colt." Dashen said after making sure the kid had disappeared into the apartment. "At some point every day, it was Colton would've have loved this or hated this or he'd never eat this and on. What can I say? You're in his circle and he's crazy attached to those in his circle. I don't worry about it anymore. I used to. Thinking maybe it was somewhat unhealthy. But it's just him. He's okay with it, so I'm okay with it. You missed him about as much as he missed you. I know. I see. You may think of us as idiots, and most of the time we are. Especially me. But as you've told us before, we are your idiots. And I'm okay with that too."
Perfect. Just when I think I figured this one out, he goes and surprises me once again with some type of emotional depth. What had my life become? I really couldn't explain it.
What I could do though... I set a hand on Dashen's shoulder, then wrapped an arm around him. He wasn't quite the hugger that his little brother was - neither was I - but pulling him close for a second, I hoped it conveyed my feelings better than my awkward words could.
I had missed them. Too much perhaps. Or maybe not. I didn't know.
I did know that I was...what? Happy? To have their chaos back in the house. They'd annoy me. I'd annoy them. Like any normal family - as abnormal as we were.
A former Jedi apprentice.
A formerly broken kid.
Both with their own emotional baggage. Both who irritate the hell out of me at times. Bickering about the ferocity and the smell of rodents. Arguing about who gets to pick the holo-film for the night. Annoying. Aggravating. Maddening.
Idiots. Both of them.
My idiots.
Of course I'd missed them.
END
