Chapter 21 – in the nicK of time

"Sensei."

Jaune Arc bowed at the foot of Adam's bed. Adam briefly considered pulling a repeat of the Boarbatusk incident but elected against it. The hospital bill was high enough as it was without having to fund a replacement wall.

"What in the Brothers' name are you doing?"

"You are my teacher. All the Mistrilian cartoons I watched say that a pupil should–"

"Stand your ass up, call me Adam, and don't ever do that again, or you can find yourself a new teacher."

"Hai!"

Adam fought the urge to get out of bed and…

Wait, the doctors had said he was ambulatory, he just needed to stay under observation for the last few days. Adam kicked off his sheets and advanced towards Jaune, flipping out his pocketknife.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it was a joke!" Arc threw his hands up in surrender. Adam reversed his quasi-murderous pursuit and sat back down.

"Have you kept up on the practice?"

"I have."

"Anything on Goodwitch for me?"

"Well, since I'm practicing the same tricks and tips you gave me from before, can I give you the same intel I gave you before?"

"Har har."

"Uh, I'm not really joking. There wasn't much of a change in her routine, though she is grumpier in class. Me and the crew chalk it down to Blake taking a few shots at her. Totally epic, by the way." Jaune pumped his fist into the air. "Stick it to the man…er, woman."

"She's on edge? That's good. Great, in fact. It'll make the next part a lot easier."

"What's that?"

"You're going get called to the headmaster office. There, you'll recover this." Adam held up an identical button-shaped bug to the one Blake had slipped into Ozpin's office. "It'll be on the bottom of the chair. You need to–"

"When are you going to find time to put it in his office?"

"It's already there."

"No, it's not. It's in your hand, man."

Adam, do not do what you're about to do, reasoned Blake's voice in his head. You need him. Alive. Alive and with all his four limbs.

"This is a model. The one I want is in the headmaster's office, stuck to the underside of the chair opposite his own. Now remember: you need to press on both edges to make it unstick to whatever surface it's adhering to, like so." Adam demonstrated on his hospital bed's backboard.

Blake had impulsively bugged Ozpin's office the night of the attack at the docks, and now they simply had no means to recover it and offload the audio. Jaune's 'surveillance' on Goodwitch was going nowhere, so Adam figured he could make himself useful and take care of it.

"Why me? Why not have Blake go and get it if she was the one that put it there? She's up and about."

Because you can get into trouble without making us stick out above the crowd even more. Because K needs to lie low. Because there's no way in Vacuo I'd ask Blake to do what I'm about to ask you to do.

"Because, with this delicate task, I can only trust you…my pupil."

"Saa-weet! Game on, bro! So, how am I going to get called into his office?"

"You're going to get caught stealing underwear from Goodwitch."

"W…What?"

"The only way you'll get into that office is by committing some egregious offence, but not one related to academics that might make someone at Beacon's recordkeeping department double check your files. That rules out cheating and the like. You'd lose if we had you get into a brawl with another student, and you're too much of a pussywillow to bully someone."

"Thank you."

"…sure. We need to have you do something so bad that you're sure to get called in for a talk with the headmaster, but not bad enough to warrant actual punishment or expulsion. Now, if Goodwitch is already in a pissed-off mood, you stealing from her is going to make her blow her stack, but Ozpin won't be particularly aggrieved – not on a personal level. She'll drag you in front of him, he'll let you off with a slap on the wrist, and she'll defer to her boss."

Adam could tell her nearly had him as Jaune began to slowly nod in agreement. "Are you sure she will?"

"Even if she doesn't, only the headmaster of Beacon Academy has the authority to remove a student from school grounds. I think."

Jaune nodded, then his brow furrowed. "Wait, you th–"

"Goodwitch's mood will only get worse, but you made it sound like you support…sticking it in the woman, I think it was?"

"Sticking it to the woman! And…why does it have to be her underwear? I said I wasn't going to help you perv out, man!"

"It needs to be something that can be dismissed as teenage antics. Steal exam rubrics? Beacon's academic integrity is called into question. Steal money? Police get involved. Steal panties? No one cares – they'll brush it off as the crude vice of a teenager."

"Well, that was a frequent trope in those Mistrilian cartoons…"

Adam shrugged. "Sure. Remember, our goal is to piss off Goodwitch enough to get an audience with Ozpin, but not do anything that can get you any real consequences."

"But…But…But…panties, bro! I haven't even asked out a– I haven't even kissed a girl yet!"

Time to pull the reel and catch the…Adam had no idea. He'd never gone fishing. The point is, time to bring it home.

"I'll make it worth your while. Hand me that bug, and I'll aid you in discovering your semblance."

Jaune's eyes flew open, and Adam knew Jaune's compliance on this mission was his. The boy could claim to have more upstanding moral than the God of Light, but he'd forged his own transcripts to pursue his dreams at this school, and unlocking his semblance would be a gamechanger towards realizing that dream. And if he could bring back the audio on that recorder, Adam would gladly see him graduate with flying colors. Jaune was still a human, but Adam found him to be one of the more agreeable ones.

An alarm rang in his brain. Not the kind of alarm that said the mission was in jeopardy; the kind of alarm that said his 'star pupil' was more fucked than Ilia's hand when Blake was nearby.

He growled menacingly. "You didn't…"

"Didn't what?"

"Haven't even asked out a girl…" Adam shook his head. "You went for the Schnee, didn't you? What happened to waiting until you were a better huntsman?"

"Oh, that." Arc rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, your guys's team got me thinking 'bout mortality and all that, like, you know, we only got one life. There's no time to go around wasting it! So…yeah, I asked Weiss to the dance."

Adam slammed the back of his head down into his pillow. "You…arggghh. Damn humans. Just when I thought you might be one of the good one."

"Hey, that's racist."

"No. Weiss Schnee is racist. Openly. She regularly calls for Faunus to be exterminated."

"I – I can fix her!"

"Boy, if someone is worth loving, you don't need to fix them."

"She's just going through a tough time, with her family company being lost and all that. I'm sure we're all going to be laughing about this with our kids when we're older. You know, if she says yes."

"She's making you wait?"

"She said no."

Adam breathed a sigh of relief.

"But I'm going to ask again! With a guitar this time, for musical accompaniment!"

Adam inhaled the relief he'd just sighed out and began to choke on it.

"Our love is written in the stars. It's destiny waiting to happen. Nothing can get in its way – not me, not you, not, not the fact that I'm weaker than the average huntsman, not even lack of consent from one of the involved parties!"

"Jaune. Let me give you some free advice, one man to another. Listen to the girl, racist though she may be. Accept the no. Don't pursue this woman – she'll only bring you trouble."

Adam meant it. Not only would Jaune be placing himself in harm's way and potentially depriving Adam of a useful pawn, but he would actually find no end to the heartache if he kept relentlessly chasing the Schnee. There were only two outcomes to this – the Schnee broke his heart by rejecting him or, worse, she said yes. Adam wouldn't wish either upon his worst enemy (well, Weiss Schnee was his worst enemy, but still), and he certainly wouldn't wish it on a f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶ useful puppet like Jaune.

"Just you wait." Jaune looked out the window. "We're meant for each other. I'm sure of it."


Team Yellowjacket-P had come down to the hospital to, as Sky Lark had put it, 'pay their respects.' That had earned him a disapproving grunt from Yang, which prompted him to quickly apologize, but Adam wasn't sure if he was that far off the mark.

Ilia wasn't getting better. Since he'd woken up, she'd had another excursion into the great beyond, pulled out only be late night doctors and a well times defibrillation. Her condition was worsening, and each second that she couldn't pull herself out of the coma, the unthinkable slid an inch closer. If she died again (but permanently this time), or even stayed alive like this forever, Adam had no idea what he would do. K was all he'd ever known.

He and Jaune joined the others, who were already in Ilia's room. Adam had to avert his eyes and suck up an anguished gasp when he saw her sitting there. He couldn't bear to watch as his friend, his sister, sat entirely motionless, just looking so serene, like she could be sleeping. It would give him hope, and experience in the real world had taught him that hope was a drug – it would pull you closer with sickeningly sweet pleasure, only to drop you off in an endless chasm of pain and sorrow until your addiction to it was the only thing you had to look forward to in this miserable life.

For the first time since the death of his mother, tears came to his eyes.

It suddenly became clear what he would do if Ilia didn't recover. The crocodile Faunus was still out there, cackling like nothing could ever touch her. Adam vowed that her life would last no more than a day longer than Ilia's.

And as an added bonus, she'll kill me if I fail, and I won't have to live with the pain. It's a win either way.

Something touched him.

"I'm sorry."

He looked up to see Pyrrha Nikos had placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I…I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry," said Sky, forcing a smile. "Things look bad now, but I'm sure she's going to get better in no time. It's just–"

Yang shot him a sideways glance, and Sky wisely shut up.

"Is there anything we can do, Adam?" asked Jaune. His lighthearted tone from before was entirely gone.

"Unless you spent a secret four years in medical school, I think you're all as usele– as unable to help her as me." These people, though Adam knew nothing of them, were trying to be kind. The least he could do was repay that with holding back any smarmy remarks. Beacon really has made me go soft.

"I meant for you."

"I…"

"Anything to help, big guy," said Yang.

Adam pondered the future for a second before responding.

"Look after Blake. If worst comes to worst, she'll be all alone."

If Ilia and I both die, he thought but declined to say.

Yang, Pyrrha, and Jaune suddenly frowned and turned away.

"We will," said Jaune. "From now on, we'll be her best friends ever. No matter what." He pointedly looked at the other three.

"I had no idea that it was like this…I thought she was just in the hospital until she got better, like you," said Yang to Adam. "If I'd…and Blake is…I would never have…you know."

Sky scoffed. Yang fixed him another glare, and he wilted.

Pyrrha approached Ilia and looked her up and down. "There must be something they can do. I mean, her neck is healed, right? So shouldn't getting her better be easy?"

"It's no longer her initial wound," explained Adam, parroting the words he'd heard when he asked the same question. "Aura sealed that up, but there were other complications. Her aura is just enough to treat the symptoms rather than the causes and keep her alive…most of the time. She doesn't have enough to heal permanently. It's like a boat – her body is so busy throwing bucketfuls of water over the edge that she can't plug the hole that's making her take on water in the first place."

Sky's face contorted in annoyance. "This so isn't right. I mean, we pay, like, a trillion lien a year in taxes, and hospitals already cost so much. What's the point if she's still gonna d– if they can't patch her up?"

"It sucks," said Jaune. "She's so close. She just needs a teensy bit more aura. I wish we could just transfix some of ours to her. I'm at 100%."

"You mean transfuse," corrected Sky.

"Yeah, sure." Arc rested a hand gently on Ilia's arm. "I–"

Jaune glowed.

Ilia glowed.

Adam's scroll dinged.

"What the fuck are you doing to her?" Adam roared.

"I…I have no clue!" Jaune screamed back in panic.

Before Wilt could sever off the limb, Adam noticed that the weird glowing light that seemed to diffuse away from Jaune's arm onto Ilia's entire body was rough and patchy, almost like–

"Aura?"

Adam checked the ding on his scroll. "She…in the yellow? Holy – her aura is rising! I take it back, Jaune. Keep doing whatever you're doing!"

"I don't–"

"Just don't change whatever you're doing! Just stay still!"

"His aura's going down!" said Pyrrha, checking her own scroll.

"He's got enough." Adam went around to the other side of Ilia's bed and brushed his fingers on her shoulder. "Ilia? Ilia? Can you hear me?"

Ilia groaned.

Adam's heart exploded. He could kiss Jaune Arc, right about now.

"W-Whoa," said Jaune. "I really am transfixing aura to her!"

Sky shook his head. "Transfu– oh, never mind."


"Twice?" Ilia asked with a mixture of horror and disgust.

Adam nodded.

Jaune Arc was still rubbing a bruise on his chin, for which Ilia had profusely apologized. When she'd woken up in the middle of his aura treatment or whatever it was he'd done, she'd still been in the fight with the crocodile Faunus. The last thing she remembered was pushing Blake out of the way, so when she came to, she tried to knock her enemy off of her. This entailed socking Jaune in the face, kicking his chest, knocking him across the room into some fancy medical machinery, and trying to stab Yang in the heart with Lightning Lash. Fortunately, her effects had been taken off of her when the hospital checked in. But hey, if she had impaled the blonde bimbo, maybe Jaune could have saved her too. She hoped. She thought. She didn't really care.

The (redacted) news of what had happened between then and now was bewildering, but none of it shocked Ilia as much as the fact that she'd literally been killed.

She'd died. Two times. Her heart had stopped beating. She'd lost her life and got it back and lost it again.

"I understand this is a lot to take in."

"Adam, I – this is so fucked. This is actually messed up."

"Do you have any recollection of the experience?"

"Oh, you wanna know what the afterlife is like? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't exactly take notes on what kind of furnishings the next plane of existence had!"

"Hey, if you…well, you know…then isn't it possible there's also a ghost of you somewhere?" Jaune asked. "O-Or…t-two…sorry. I was trying to lighten the mood…" His voice trailed off as two pairs of Faunus eyes glowered at him.

Yang stepped in front of Jaune. "Look, you guys, things are getting a little heated. Maybe we should give you two a moment alone?"

"I think that might be best," Adam answered for them both. "Can you let Blake–"

"Texted her and Ruby as soon as she woke up," said Yang, throwing up a thumbs up. "I gotchu, fam."

Ilia also presented her with a lone finger, but it wasn't the thumb.

"Ah! I'm utterly scandalized!" Yang giggled as she exited the room with her team in tow. "We'll be outside if you need anything."

The door closed, and Adam grabbed Ilia into an embrace. Their little playacting was enough to earn them a moment of privacy, but they had to be quick.

"What happened while I was out?"

"Penny, the banana girl from before, saved us. She's an Atlesian robot sent by James to aid us. Blake got called before Ozpin for a debrief, and he wanted to sweep the whole thing under the rug. She's got his office bugged. I'm sending Arc to…actually, I might not be able to. I've lost the carrot, and I'm not sure that using the stick is worth it. Anyways…oh, right. Blake's pretty sure she's found the machine."

"THE–" Ilia lowered her voice. "That fast? Was it this Penny bitch? Did she replace me? That whore!"

"No. Remember, we ran into Penny before you and I were even hospitalized. Blake actually found the machine the same night of the attack. It's under the CCT."

"How long until extraction? I can't wait to put this whole shitshow behind us."

"Well, that's the issue. She's fairly certain she knows that the machine's there, but we can't actually get down there yet. She and the private are on it now, but–"

Ilia nodded in calm acceptance, then looked down to inspect the small portion of the scar on her neck that was visible to her. "Back to the meatgrinder."

"We're going to sprint towards the finish line from here on out. All other considerations will be secondary – Amin's killer, the crocodile, they all go on hold."

"We're so close. It's like being on the verge of a climax, but then–"

"Please don't. You're like a sister to me, Ilia." He stood up.

"Course I am. That's Ilia; everybody's sister," grumbled Ilia. "Nothing more."

The door opened up.

Well speak of the God of Darkness…

"OhDustIliayoureallyarealiveandwellandnotprankingmethistimeohIloveyousomuch!"

Ruby wrapped her arms around Ilia and nestled her face right into Ilia's chest. "Oh, I'm so happy to see you!"

"Good to see you too, kiddo."

"Oh, you're okay! How did you get better? Which doctor do I have to send the goodie basket to as thanks?"

"Actually, it was Jaune, of all people."

Ruby disentangled herself and blinked. "Jaune? From Team Y etc.?"

"Jaune Arc, the one and only. Apparently, his semblance is–"

"He unlocked his semblance AND saved you? This is like, the best day ever for my friends! It's the BDEFMF! Adam, mark the date and time in the ships log! Blake, set a–"

Ruby froze. Blake was leaning in the doorway, her hand over her mouth as tears poured freely from her eyes. She's been there the whole time, and judging by the fact that they came in the room at the same time, they'd been on the same airship over. For the life of her (ok, that was pooooooor choice of words), Ilia couldn't figure out why her leader seemed so surprised by her partner's presence.

"B-Blake…I…"

"It's okay, Ruby. We've got the whole team back together. We're all okay, and we can all go home tonight. As a team. This is the best day ever."

"This is bullshit is what it is," said Adam. "I'm still under observation, so I can't go back just yet. Why do I have to be the last one on Team Rabies to stay here? I didn't even die once!"

The room fell silent.

Ilia burst out laughing. Ruby didn't hesitate to join her once the tense moment was broken. After a minute, Adam's stoic façade cracked, and he joined them. In that moment, they weren't a special forces unit and an unfortunate little huntress who they would eventually ditch. They were Team Rabies.

I still hate that name, though.

Blake wasn't joining in the laughter. She was smiling, but her eyes flickered to Ilia, then down to her feet. My deaths must have really hit her hard. I mean, if Blake had gotten hurt jumping in the way to take a hit meant for me, I would be beside myself.

Ilia didn't blame her one bit for that. What would the point of getting upset be? Blake had done her best, and the crocodile had bested them all. It was no one's fault. Someone had to get hurt that night, and if the alternative was Blake, Ilia would gladly accept a thousand croc chomps to the collarbone.

"Hey, Ruby?" Blake said at last when the snorting had died down. "Why don't you go congratulate Jaune on his new semblance?"

"I will, later, but Ilia just–"

"Adam, why don't you also congratulate him?"

Ruby looked at Blake like she was loopy. "Blake, Jaune's not going anywhere. I think that the team should stick together now that–"

"She wants to talk to Ilia alone, leader," said Adam. "About what happened."

Ruby's eyes flashed in some sort of understanding, followed not long after by a very unpleasant looking emotion. "Are you sure?"

"I have to."

"What're you guys talking about?" asked Ilia. "Like, is something up?" Ruby was present, and they hadn't said any obvious K's, so this couldn't be about the mission. Thus, it had to be related to school.

"Was it Weiss? Did she do something?"

"No," said Blake, as the others vanished into the hallway. "I did something."


Jaune: Woah! I'm transfixing aura to her!

Sky: *double middle fingers* Transfuck you!


Author's Notes

Ilia returns from beyond the grave, and Blake's excommunication is lifted. Unfortunately, the bond between the two of them is going to be put to the test as Ilia learns the truth. Drama inbound, and it'll only expand out of control for the rest of the season as the team struggles to open up to one another and communicate their emotions.

No Blake POV since she's had too many and Ilia's overdue.

NGL, I wrote myself into a corner having Ilia literally just fucking die to a crocodile. I still needed her in the story, and I was originally gonna have her just recover over time, but then I got bored so I made Jaune ex machina to save her.

Speaking of Jaune, I got the vibe that, since he barely knew Weiss, it was mostly looks that attracted him, so he's looking past her bitchy nature with Ruby Rose colored glasses on. Side note: In K, Jaune is going to be more of a chill, teenage, go-with-the-flow kinda guy, hence his obsession with Mistrilian anime (which, let's be honest, we all no is code for Yaoi tentacle hentai) and his whole unironic 'bro' thing.

Happy rats, and don't do crime!