Chapter Title: Recover
Series Title: Unlikely Brothers
POV: Dashen
Ages in this chapter: Tanner (17) Dashen (23)
Chapter Summary: Takes place immediately after the events of Chapter (70) "In This Thing Together".
"What's going on?"
My steps were slow, small, and methodical, but they qualified as steps. For that, I claimed victory after the week from hell. A hell that was still ongoing by the way.
Sliced and gutted by a couple of very bad people on Coruscant, trying not to bleed to death in a pool of my own while on a train in the foulest and lowest of low levels in the city, while my brother returned to the planet he'd hoped to never see again and coming back partially traumatized from the experience.
Recovery sluggish but under way. Four days in, I was vertical - kinda - and able to stay awake for more than an hour at a time. Go team!
Said brother had finally gone back to school today after mothering me for three days. I didn't blame him. Truth be told, it felt good never have to wonder if my brother loved me. He just did and had no qualms about showing it.
Now he was here, downstairs in the main house, on Colton's giant couch, face planted in his data pad.
"Tanner, what's going on?" I said again.
Clearly he'd not heard me the first time, because he propelled himself off the couch this time. "Dash!" A extremely careful and short hug followed - typical Tanner - before he stood away. "You're up. You look horrible. Your hair is sticking out in forty-seven different directions."
"Thank you for the compliment. I've been horizontal for three straight days, my head plastered to a pillow. I know I'm not Mr. Perfect like you, but I am upright. I think a little credit is in order."
"I'm not perfect, Dash."
It was a joke of course, in the way I'd always teased, but in other ways, Tanner kinda was perfect. For me.
"Eh, you kinda are, Mouse. Just in ways you aren't thinking."
"What?"
"Never mind. Back to school today, I see. Getting caught up."
Tanner returned back to the couch.
"And how did you get permission to use the giant couch? Is Colton dead? Did you kill him for his couch?"
"Dash, you're an idiot. I have four days of school to catch up on along with many teaching aid assignments. Didn't want to disturb you. And if you must know, yes, Colton did give me permission. You know how he loves this couch."
He did. A man and his couch. It was weird, but we were weird, so it all fit.
Tanner patted the cushion at his side. "Sit with me, Dash. How's the pain?"
The two foot long gash that ran the left side of my body and had been healed closed thanks to the miracle workings of Colton's healers and their bacta packs. But as it ran my entire torso, there was little to do about the pain. Everything inside and outside was bruised and only time would bring relief.
I shook my head at the invitation to sit. "No can do, little brother. I'd never get up. I'll more of a stool-sitting guy right at this moment. Anything exciting in the last few days?"
"Nothing."
"You okay?"
"Yup."
Uh huh. Short, snipped responses. That was code for, 'no I've not dealt with it all yet'. Figured. Days dedicated to me and he'd not taken care of his own self.
"Tanner."
The tone. He couldn't ignore it. He never could. Pale brown eyes lifted toward me. "I had other things on my mind, Dash. Like hoping you didn't die and wondering what would have happened if we'd found you an hour later."
I shifted my lean against the tall barstool where I'd stationed myself a few feet from the general couch area. "I didn't die and you didn't find me too late. Nightmares?"
As I thought. Turning his attention back to his data pad, he shrugged his answer. "A few. I'm dealing with them though."
"What about?"
"Strangely enough, mostly about the hole. Watching from there as Master Ayden died. But there were other dreams too. Remembering my friends at the Temple. I spent the first nine years of my life there. It's been a while, but still not easy to forget."
Pain be damned, I dragged my sorry self over to the couch and plopped myself right down - regretting the quick motion a second later - butting shoulders with Tanner as I did... and grimacing in intense pain too. Lots and lots of pain.
"Spill." One word as I ignored the pain.
Tanner pulled eyes off the data pad and sat back. I followed suit. He leaned toward me.
"I was freaking out to whole time we were looking for you. Heart was beating out of my chest. Terrified of memories. Terrified of losing you like I lost all of them. I hated being there, Dash. Hated it. But I had to. I'm never going back though, so don't take anymore jobs there, unless Colton sends a ten person security team with you. I can't go back."
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
"You're not going back. Not ever. I'm not either."
"Swear it?"
"Swear it."
"Okay."
Okay. And that was it. He'd take me at my word and I'd not go back on it. Not on something this size. Seventeen now, but when he got lost in and haunted by his past, he always seemed so much younger. I'd never chide him on it. As much as we teased and harassed each other, he'd never get flack from me for reeling in the past, even years later. That time of heartbreak and loss never really did disappear, it only lay dormant until the big brother went and did something boneheaded like almost getting himself killed on a planet that riled powerful memories in the little brother.
One day I'd learn.
The front door opened and the extra large form of Virgil Colton forged in. Long blond hair perfectly trimmed. Expensive clothes perfectly tailored. I prepared for the incoming flack about the couch.
Didn't get it though. None of it. Not a word.
There was a first.
Instead, he walked around behind the couch, setting a hand on my head and the other on Tanner, who still leaned on me.
"Good to see you up, Dash. You boys let me know if you need anything."
And he walked away.
Huh. Well that was new. Different. Unexpected. Weird. Not to mention several other words I couldn't think of at the moment.
Tanner shifted against me. "He knows, Dash. How terrified I was there. How close you were to dying there. It's been a long week."
Understatement if there ever was one. "Yeah, it has. You okay now?" I nudged him and he uprighted himself.
"I think so. I really do need to finish my school work."
"You will. That stuff comes easy for you. Always has."
"I still love it though."
"You never were very exciting, little brother, though I heard and saw that you pulled out a few Jedi tricks during my rescue. Felt good, didn't it? Dangerous, but I know it felt good. Don't even try to tell me it didn't."
A smile came my way at the comment. Yeah, he didn't often get to use his Jedi tricks and training. So many eyes and ears everywhere, many who would put a bolt through his head without a second of remorse. But when he did get to use his tricks, the change in him was something to see. Energizing and anxiety-relieving all at once. I could only imagine what a fully trained, fully capable version of a Jedi would be like. Tanner would never know that feeling, but the magic he did have - the power - he held close to his heart.
"Amid my own terror at you bleeding to death or dying to death..."
"Dying to death?"
"You know what I mean. Yes, it felt good, it always does. I wish you could feel it or at least understand it better, Dash."
"I'll pass on the crazy magic, thanks." I stretched out my long legs and scooted to the other end of the massive piece of furniture to give Tanner room to finish his school work. The exhaustion of last days weighing on me again. Who knew being upright for less than two hours could be so draining? My body found a comfortable enough spot, lying on my right side, since my left was a giant wave of don't even go there. Quin the healer, was due by soon to check on my progress. Thumbs up all around since her hands physically saved my life. I didn't have the extreme patience my brother did, so slow recovery was annoying and the constant pain was more so. Being alive helped pass the time though.
Tanner worked, I tried to sleep. Varying degrees of success as I was interrupted by Quin with serious questions and hands that weren't all that warm today.
"Why you are not in bed, I've no idea, Dashen Lesedi."
"Hi Quin. I was bored and tired of staring at my ceiling. And Tanner missed me."
A quick look over from his data pad, Tanner tossed in with a "Don't suck me into this. Behave for your doctor, Dash."
"Yes, Dashen," Quin followed up, her strange but trusting almost clear eyes checking what her hands were scanning. Tunic shrugged half off so she had full view of my healing wound, she carefully pressed and prodded the area from armpit to waistline. "The healing is good. Satisfactory. What's your pain level?"
The normal me would lie my way around that type of question. This version of me had no qualms about spilling out the complete truth. That truth was, this pain sucked. "Scale of one to ten? If I move, fifteen. Lying still, give it a ten. Hurts like hell, Quin. I know you said time, but why doesn't it feel like it's any better at all?"
"Because it's not," she said bluntly. Quin didn't give you false hope or forged responses. She gave you honesty.
"Oh, that's ah, good?"
"The good is that the wound is healing. The bad, it doesn't feel any better because it's not any better. Don't get the healing of the outer wound confused with the healing of the body in general, Dashen. Under the surface, things heal at a more gradual pace. I've stopped you from bleeding to death, but you're not running any jobs anytime soon. Add to that the lack of energy and other from the blood loss, and you've a recipe for staying in bed like I told you to." My tunic was restored and she felt around my forehead, upper chest, and neck. "Checking for fever to make sure no infection. It's good. You're moving about the pace I suspected."
"Bantha slow?"
"Slow and correct. Don't knock it. The body knows what it's doing. More so than it's pilot." Knuckles rapped softly on my head to get the point across. "I want you upstairs and in your bed. Your brother will somehow manage without you to help him study."
Chiming in again from his data pad. "She speaks truth, Dash."
"You," From my prone position, my finger pointed in his general direction. "Stay out of this."
"I mean it, Dashen. You need nothing but rest. Lack of cooperation will only lead to me getting Colton involved and he will be glad to have you carried up the stairs, deposited in your bed and then secured there until you learn to listen and obey."
"He listens well, Quin, but it's the obeying part that he finds impossible." My brother again.
"Damn it, Tanner."
Quin set a hand on my arm and began escorting me carefully up and off the couch. "Damning your brother won't help your recovery. Rest will."
She was right. She was always right. Didn't change anything though. I still hated this entire recovery deal. But I'd gotten myself into it. Not that I'd asked to be partially gutted by the enemy of my client - remind me never to work for that man again - but I'd taken the job thinking all would be okay.
My legs slowly moved in the general direction of the stairs as I shook off Quin's assisting arm in place of the one offered by my brother, who said, "Here, Quin. I'll make sure he gets back to his bed."
The aged motherly face of the healer who was paid enough to not care about Tanner's past studied me. "You're a stubborn man, Dashen Lesedi. Thankfully your brother is well versed in the patience you lack to allow for healing. Be it his training or his make-up, one would be wise to listen to him. Thank you, Tannerlin. Dashen, I will see you tomorrow for another check. Be resting upstairs when I arrive please."
I grunted and took a wrong step in the process. Tanner caught me easily. A small wave of power flowing through him to me, aiding in the catch.
We trudged up the stairs together. "I'm a pain in the ass, I know. Don't even bother to say it."
"You are, but I'm okay with it. Go slowly up, please. You're a pain sometimes, but you are real, Dash. What you see is what you get. Not some phony nonsense on the outside. Still an idiot, but a real one."
Was that a back handed compliment or a direct insult? Eh. I'd have to think on it. If only I had the energy to do so.
"Whatever you say, little brother, just get me to my bed. Quin was right, as always. I need to rest and rest some more."
"I can teach you some meditation to help."
My eyes rolled, Tanner saw it, as we turned the corner to my bedroom. "Can't fight boring with boring, Mouse. I'm good, you go ahead back to your studies. I know you missed a lot in the last few days. I do appreciate it though. Sacrificing school for me. What a guy."
Tease tease tease, it's what I did when I felt like hell. Part of my coping mechanism I guess. It annoyed most people. Tanner either completely ignored me or gave me a hug. On occasion, it was both.
No hug this time, not with the current pain level, but I did reach over to him, set my hands on either side of his face, leaned over and kissed the top of his head. "Thank you."
That one covered every single bit of everything from the last few days. Including the emotional pain he'd suffered because of my need for rescue.
"You're my brother, Dash."
And that was that. There was never any condemnation with Tanner. Never any anger thrown at me no matter how boneheaded my mistakes were. Imperfect as we were, he held those of us close to him in a tight circle of love and affection that never ended.
Never.
I was one lucky son of a...
"Hey, Dash?"
Methodically, my body moved slowly onto the bed as Tanner guided me lower. "Yeah, Mouse?"
"Just do what Quin says, okay? Rest." The voice pleaded. "I know it's boring and painful, but please? For me if not for yourself?"
Yeah, sure. Like I was going to refuse that request. Those pleading brown eyes, I'd always been a sucker for them. Always would be.
"Promise."
He smiled warmly and pulled the covers over my legs and to my chest, made sure my comm was nearby and ordered me to call him if he needed anything.
I ordered the same to him. "You get overwhelmed by nightmares or bad memories...". Because I knew his dreams weren't clear yet, no matter how much he tried to lose himself in his catch-up school activities.
"Promise."
My eyes slipped closed as my brother slipped out of my room.
With the help of the little brother I loved and my own acceptance of patience, I slowly made my way toward healing and recovery.
END
