Chapter Title: At Peace

Series Title: Unlikely Brothers

Ages in this chapter: Tanner (28) Dashen (34)

POV: Dashen

Chapter Summary: Tanner feels the passing of Ben Kenobi info the Force.


He sat in silence. Solitary. Wanting, needing to be alone. The loss was deep and it just flat out hurt. He said that it echoed through the Force and other than when his Master Ayden died long ago, he'd never felt anything so powerful. The last remaining that he knew. More importantly, a dear friend. One of the very select few that my brother considered family.

I knew he'd let me know if he needed me. At least, I hoped he would. Regardless, I'd keep an eye on him.

Meditation had always been his way of coping. Countless times in the past, I had teased him about it. A running gag between us since we'd become part of each other's lives. He fell into it now. Cross-legged on the floor, eyes closed, mind probably empty - or maybe not. I went with 'maybe not' as I saw this meditation attempt last less than a few short minutes.

"I can't focus, Dash." Were his words to me without looking over, knowing I was near. Always near when his world was unsettled. We'd come a long way together. He was nine when I'd found him. He was twenty-eight now; just recently. The loss he felt hurt no less though, no matter how far into adulthood he'd grown. If anything, it likely hurt more.

I crossed the few feet from doorway to outdoor roof terrace. The sunny spot that he'd come to call his own when peace was needed. There was a soft cushion that where he often perched. He'd gotten a cushion for me as well, next to his. Not because I meditated. That would never be my thing. But because sometimes he just wanted the company.

As his left hand tapped the cushion belonging to me, I took that as an invitation. It was also a sign that he needed me. Sinking down, I settled onto my seat and focused my eyes out into the distance. The main town of Kaolin that we knew so well - our home - not far away.

"I can't focus." He repeated once more. The emotion in his voice - it hurt to hear.

"That's probably normal, Mouse." The nickname he always claimed to hate, but really didn't. It was the first name I'd ever given him, and it had stuck these years later. I used it as a term of affection.

He shrugged at me before his shoulders slumped, head titled back and eyes closing. The effort to not cry was there with the tight squeezing of his eyes and face. Not sure why he tried so hard. He'd lost one of the most important people in his small world. Being strong right now, it just wasn't the way he needed to go.

"I can't believe he's gone."

Gone. One Jedi Master. Alone and desolate on Tatooine in the Outer Rim. The one that talked to dead Jedi Masters and spent his life watching over something or someone that we were never privileged to know of - for the safety of all involved.

We'd gotten no official word that Obi-Wan - Ben - Kenobi was dead. But Tanner had felt it. It washed over him with a flash so powerful that it actually knocked onto his knees like a devastating punch in the gut. He'd been at school. Teaching. The reaction had been unexpected and frightening for his kids who - thinking it was a medical emergency - immediately came to his aid and called for the healers. The healers

called me in turn. I'd rushed from work at eye bar to his school. That was this morning.

"Are my kids okay?"

Focusing off his loss for a moment to remember how freaked out his students were for his well being. That was my brother. Always concerned about those around him. How could you not love the guy to death?

"They're fine. Just worried about you. They subbed in someone for your class and the kids sent a message to you through the sub. They send lots of love and hope you feel better soon."

A broken breath. His kids were all right. He could focus on the loss again.

"What do you need from me, little brother?" I asked gently.

Tanner's response was slow to come. Finally though... "I don't know, Dash. I'm not sure what to feel, you know?"

"You feel what you need to. He was your friend. Family really. He was your kind. You had a connection on a level that only you and your kind can understand. No matter that he was so far away. Ben was one of the most important people in your entire life. He's gone. You have to feel what you need to feel. I can't tell you how that is. I can only tell you that none of it is wrong. You already know that feeling of immense loss. I know it as well. It never goes away. Not completely. But we find ways to deal with it. So, if you need a week away from school, or you think that working with the kids in your normal routine will help you through... I can't say. All I can say is that you tell me what you need from me and you've got it. No questions asked. No hesitation."

There came some semblance of a nod before he leaned into me and cried. I took ahold of him tight, keeping him semi upright as he pressed against my chest. All was quiet then except for the sounds of Kaolin in the distance and my brother's hushed sobs. The sun bright on our shoulder offering its warmth and comfort.

I said nothing. Words wouldn't help and I'd said my bit already. Tanner, who lived for silence, would be grateful for the gesture.

Time passed. Who knew how long. Didn't matter. Eventually Tanner spoke, but didn't move from my hold.

"I'm glad he's not longer alone." Ben, he meant. "He and his Master Qui-Gon and my Master Ayden, they have each other now. Maybe others. In the Force. Peace. Tranquility. Comfort. Company. It hurts for me, but for Ben, it's probably something he's longed for. To not be alone anymore."

I could imagine. Not the Force stuff, but the other. It's why I made my priority in life to keep my little brother safe, no matter that he was an adult and fully capable of protecting and defending himself. As older brother, protection was a requirement. Always would be. I couldn't protect him from everything, I could never do that. But I did my best and I loved the hell out of him.

And maybe Tanner was right. Ben was perhaps finally at peace. Home with his family.

I hoped he was. He deserved that comfort, that tranquility. We all did, but I was certain that guy had been through more than any one man should, pain and trauma enough for five lifetimes. Yeah, he deserved to be at peace.

Eventually Tanner sat up. Tears long dried, but eyes still red-rimmed. There was a road ahead of him - a process - but he'd be okay. He always was. Resilient as they come. That was my brother.

I released him from my arms and we settled back onto our meditation cushions.

"You know what I need from you, Dash?" The words were crusty as he cleaned his throat from the emotions.

My response was soft. "Tell me."

"I want to go to Tatooine. One last time. I know he's gone, but I think I want the closure."

Not really the request I had expected, but I'd never turn him down. "You got it, Mouse. When did you want to go?"

"Is now too soon?"

He was moving quickly. I had to slow him down just a bit. "How about we finish our day, have a good dinner, make sure you get some rest and we can fly out tomorrow. It'd be better for us both. You'll need to contact school and have a sub for your kids for a couple of days."

"They'll worry about me."

"That's an understatement."

"Tomorrow is good."

—-

Tomorrow came. Colton gave us his own personal ship, piloted by none other than he himself. His way of offering support to Tanner. The tiny Jedi kid that had wormed his way into Colton's not-as-cold-as-he-thought heart and now was one of the the big man's most trusted friends. A forever part of his impossible-to-enter family. He could also offer security if we ran into any trouble. Ben had always warned us about the Tusken Raiders. Never let your guard down. We kept that warning close to our belts always.

We had no troubles and landed not far from Ben's abandoned hovel. Colton and I left Tanner to go in alone, though we stayed close.

From the open front door, I could see inside, watching Tanner as he ran hands over the objects that had become familiar to him during his visits here over the years. Ben never had much, but for Tanner, I think it sometimes felt like a second home to him.

He stopped at the back wall, a small shelf - partially hidden - to the far right of the crescent shaped bed. Something was there. Tanner clutched it tight. His breathing picked up, shoulders shuttering.

I walked in. He needed me. "What's that, Mouse?"

"Here." He said as his hands gently held an old beat up paper book with a faded green cover, yellowed pages and a binding on it's last legs. "Ben and I talked a lot about books. He didn't read much, but his Master Qui-Gon had. Before Ben came to Tatooine, he saved several of Qui-Gon's possessions, as you know. This book included. Ben left it for me. See the small paper note." I took the note and read it as Tanner finished. "He knew he wasn't coming back, Dash. He knew he would be joining the Force soon. He knew... he knew that he'd be going home."

Damn Jedi. Damn. Damn. Damn. I wiped at my eyes, handing the handwritten note back to Tanner. A note that said simply, "Treasure this as I have. You gave me hope and comfort and family. May the Force be with you always, my friend."

There was no mention of Tanner's name. For safety sake, should someone raid the hovel before Tanner arrived. But there was no doubt this was meant for my brother. That Tanner said he could feel a Force signature around it, appeared to top it off. Ben apparently had been absolute in knowing that Tanner would come. That book passed down from a master to his apprentice. Then through war and betrayal, it was rescued by that same apprentice when he was a student no longer. Now passed down to another of their Jedi family. Tanner would protect the thing with his life if he had to. Having a dedication for old paper books and a devotion to the people that he loved - this covered both departments.

Finishing his walk through the hovel, he knelt onto what would have been Ben's own meditation mat and sunk into the Force.

Returning to the door, I waited outside. Colton coming to stand next to me. As tall as I was, the big man still out-inched me by several. I always felt small next to him. Head of his own criminal empire. Shrewd and cunning. Violent when he had to be. But Tanner and I knew the other side of him. Protective, dedicated. Our fake uncle, officially. More like a father in many ways, is what he'd become. We counted ourselves beyond lucky to have him on our side, and right now he was as concerned about Tanner as I was.

"He'll be okay?" Colton asked me as we stood side by side at the entrance to the hovel.

"He will. Just... he had to come here. You know how he is with people he loves."

"Yeah. Once Tannerlin Vai attaches himself to you, consider yourself fortunate."

"I do, Colt. I know you do too."

"Only because you two idiots somehow squirmed into my life way back when and never left."

I shuffled a laugh. "Tell me you regret any of it. I dare you."

"You're still an idiot, Dash."

"Proud of it too."

His eyes rolled as he shook his head. "Idiot."

Tanner came back to us then. Book and note in hand. "I'm ready. Thank you for coming with me to say goodbye. It means a lot that my family would be here."

In an unusually impulsive move, Colton of all people, initiated the hug this time. Dwarfing the never-very-tall Tanner in height and broadness, Colton could almost make my brother disappear into his arms. When I joined a second later, part of me wanted to never let go. This crazy world. Crazy galaxy. All we'd been through. Our pasts. Our present. But we were here. Together. It's the only thing that mattered.

In the distance, the faded roar of Tusken Raiders. Impossible to know

how far they were out in the desert, but no chances here. Hugs released, we hurried back to the ship and blasted off Tatooine for the final time. Tanner staring out the window until the vast barren planet was just a bright dot in the distance.

My hands reached for Ben's book once more. It was barely holding itself together. I guess it, like us, had been through a lot in life. "Hey," I began, " Maybe Dec can secure this for you. A little repair work to make sure it doesn't completely fall apart. Might be an idea?"

"Maybe," Tanner agreed. "I can share the story with him. What I know of the book."

He could. Dec'lar Bin, the shopkeeper, knew of Tanner's background and protected him from those who would seek him out. He was also as oddly obsessed with paper books as my brother was. They'd had countless conversations over the years about the damn things. Boring boring boring. For me at least. For those two? Thrilling adventure and joy. They'd have a grand time discussing this ancient thing and the history behind it.

I found myself contemplative for a moment, watching Tanner's mind roll around in memories.

"Hey, Mouse, you know he's not really gone, right? I mean, he is, but he's not. You learned a lot from Ben. You're as much a part of his legacy as anyone."

His pale brown eyes met my green and look of contentment washed over him. "Funny. I hadn't thought of it that way, that he passed some of his teachings to me. I definitely won't let him die, Dash. Just like Master Ayden. He'll be with me always. And one day when I pass into the Force, I'll see them all again."

That comment got an eyebrow raise from me. "Okay, sure, that's great and creepy and all, but don't be passing into anything anytime soon, got it? You and me have a lot of hell to raise still, little brother."

"I don't raise hell, Dash. I can't even keep you from raising it."

From the pilot's chair, Colton interjected at his point. Totally not unexpected. "No one is raising anything as long as you two morons still live in my house. Understand?"

'Morons?' Tanner and I mouthed to each other. Had we officially graduated from idiots and no one told us? I wondered if I should feel honored. I should ask...

"Hey, Colt..."

"No, you did not graduate from the idiots you are, I just needed something new and fresh. You both are like an old pair of socks. Stretched and holey but too stupidly comfortable to let go of. Not sure how you manage that, by the way. Some strange talent you both have. Now, shut up and enjoy the ride home."

I smiled. Tanner smiled. It looked good on him. He was relaxing now. Coming to terms with his sadness, his loss. It was the book that had done it. Somehow Ben had known. Maybe it had been the same for him. Clinging to that one thing that connected him to his Master Qui-Gon when he'd passed. Tanner clung to the same now.

In their weird world of magic, something so simple as a book made of paper.

Huh.

Flipping carefully through the worn pages, Tanner's fingers stopped in the middle of the book. Another small note. I eyed my brother as he read it and laughed. Not just a simple laugh, but a whole-hearted legit laugh. Belly and all. What the hell?

The note was handed to me. I read it. Four words long.

Damn Jedi. Damn damn Jedi.

"You and he were in cahoots when it came to me, weren't you? Damn it, Tanner."

Tanner kept laughing, shaking his head the entire time. "Nope, I had nothing to do with this. What can I say? Ben apparently knew you better than you knew he knew you."

"What?"

I stared - no, I glared - at the note again. Swearing again. Damn Jedi. Ben's handwriting - no, his scribble, clearly directed at me - it said,

"Once an idiot, always?"

When Tanner finally came down from laughing his rear end off, he noticed something and pointed to the back of the note. Another scribble we'd not seen. This one is smaller writing. "Great, more insults from a dead magical desert hermit."

But this time, there was no insult, no joke, no tease. It was a simple note, meant for me. Sincere in it's words and it's meaning.

"Look after him. You always have. For bringing him to my life, thank you. For being yourself always, I am grateful."

I sat on that one for a minute. Had to really. "Okay, so maybe Ben wasn't such a bad guy after all." My voice, crackling a bit, reading the message three times now. Ben apparently got me after all. Who'd have thought it?

"He wasn't bad at all. He was the best." Tanner stood and set a hand on my shoulder. "Well, second best." With a pat, he headed for the co-pilots chair to keep Colton company on the way home. I, on the other hand, took advance of his abandoned seat and stretched out to catch some sleep.

A long couple of days. Another major chapter in our lives closed.

I could only hope that wherever Ben Kenobi was, that he was glad to have been a being a part of my brother's life for these past eighteen or so years, however fleeting the visits had been.

More than that, I truly did hope that he was at peace now.

I had my family. He had his. Mine was here... with me. His was out there in magic Force-land somewhere. Different. Really different. But the same too. Tannerlin Vai somehow connected us all; had been a part of every last one of these lives - the living and the dead.

Almost... almost as if it was meant to be.


END