Chapter Title: It'll Be All Right

Series Title: Unlikely Brothers

POV: Dashen

Ages in this chapter: Tanner (15) Dashen (21)

Chapter Summary: On a personal mission from Colton, Tanner struggles with the chaos of the noises around him.


"You are bored. You of all people, are bored. Damn, Tanner. Never saw that one coming."

"I'm not bored, I am simply lacking the sufficient circumstances to engage in my normal hobbies."

"Code for, you are bored out of your mind. And you're anxious. All these people. All this noise. All this activity and movement. Even in our rented room. It's loud all night. Parties and gossip and fighting and traffic. Driving you crazy. I can tell. I know. You have little giveaways when you are bothered."

"Giveaways?"

"Yup. Your index finger on your fight hand for one. You scratch it on the top of your thigh over and over. Like an jittery habit. That and your eyes dart around a lot. Neither of these things you do as a regular thing in your true habitat."

"My true habitat? Dash..."

"Yes. Just admit it. This place makes you nuts. You can't meditate. You can't practice tossing stuff at me. You can't read in quiet. Makes you nervous. I get it. I'm not teasing you, well, I am, but I'm not really. No one else would notice, but I know the contented version of you and this isn't it."

He gave in. Finally. My brother. Admitting what I'd kinda just called him out on.

"Well, it is a bit unsettling here. How do you focus with all the noise and the busy? It's constant. Never seems to stop. Reminds me of Coruscant, but at least inside the Temple was quiet and peaceful. It was easy to escape and cope."

I grew up with noise and movement and busy. My baby brother, Kossi, as perfect as he was, was constantly on the go and my folks were always in motion with work and family and other in and around Kaolin and various parts of the planet. So I got used to it all at a young age.

Tanner, exactly the opposite. At the Temple, the Jedi thrived on focus and concentration and quiet and meditation. All supposedly helped when distractions abounded. When Tanner lost all of that - the entire Jedi Order - and he got stuck here, he clung to those things like a life raft. It was all he had left. All he knew. He still clung to them now, five years later. So, it was always strange to see what happened when he didn't have those things. It was unnatural and to be honest, had a tendency to set me a little off balance. I'd become so used to him being his way. When he wasn't, it could be a tad unsettling for us both.

"Just treat it all like white noise. Zone it out." I said to him.

"It's fifteen white noises at the same time, all battling for attention. It's not possible to zone them all out. I miss my quiet."

"I told you not to come with me on this job, you remember that."

"I know, but Colton said you'd had issues on this planet before, even got put in restraints, arrested and thrown in jail once. He thought me tagging along might help keep you out of trouble."

I shrugged at the thought. "Normally it would, but with you being unfocused, it has me unfocused. As entertaining as it is to see you bored, it's the other part that worries me. An unfocused Tanner isn't natural and could get you into trouble without you intending it to."

"Dash, I'm not going to wander into the street and proclaim my past to the entire city if that's what you mean. I'm bored and anxious, but I'm not an idiot."

The look he gave me with that last line informed me that the term was aimed in my direction. Of course it was. Didn't bother me. What did bother me wasn't the fear that he'd accidentally go public, but that in his somewhat agitated state, he'd accidentally slip with a certain word or action and the wrong person would see or hear it and there you go. Let the game of 'kill the Jedi boy' commence.

Not in my lifetime. I had to get him back on track. We'd be here for another two days at least and last evening he didn't sleep a wink. I only know that because he kept me up with his nervous tapping of that damn index finger.

"We have to figure out how to deal with what you can't control. How did you deal with excessive noise in your past? Surely, it wasn't all silent meditation. In order to learn how to handle distraction, you had to have distraction. Right?"

Tanner nodded. "Yes, but there we were free to be who and what we actually were."

Code for, he could use his Jedi magic wherever and whenever without fear of being shot in the back or front or any other part of his anatomy.

"And I wasn't in training long enough to go on many missions when older students were better abled."

Another good point, damn it. There had to be something though.

"How about when you were scared, how did you deal?"

"Same way. Using the Force. Using my limited abilities at the time. You don't get it, Dash, everything revolved around the Force. Everything."

"So, why can't you call on it now? Why doesn't it work when things are noisy and busy and chaotic in a strange place?"

"It does work, but my mind has a more difficult time with it. I remember..." He was frustrated now, pacing. Tanner never paced. "When we were under attack. Master Ayden and I and the other Jedi, on Terra. Where he died. It all happened so fast, so loudly, nothing made sense and the sound was deafening around us. The blasters and the shouting and the... its all I saw and heard until everything went deathly silent. After that, the same noise and chaos played over and over in my mind. All those days I was stuck in that hole in the wall. Then after that, when you found me and pulled me to various places, like those underground tunnels. Even after we settled at Colton's place finally. It was all still there. In my mind. In my memories. The noise. All bad, all of it."

There it was. He wasn't so much bored with the current noise and chaos not allowing him to focus and meditate. Instead, this was actually taking him back to the worst moments of his life.

Damn it.

"So, all of this here, it's making you remember those things?" I asked carefully, pulling him down from his pacing to sit him next to him on the one pathetically tired bed we were forced to share in our crappy rental room. We sat, backs against the wall, crossed-legged on the saggy mattress.

He shrugged toward me and leaned in some. "Not so much remember

the events, but the apprehension that came with it. This place, its apparently a trigger. Maybe just the right amount of havoc all mixed together. It's gotten in my head and won't leave. I don't usually have difficulty like this, but this seems to be the right - or wrong - combination. But, it's... it'll be all right."

He said the words, it'll be all right, but his actions said differently and he pushed heavier against me, slumping slightly, head against my shoulder. Tanner was tired. Exhausted really. I'd seen it before, but hadn't understood the true gravity of it, figuring his initial boredom had something to do with the whole thing. Well, I never claimed to be an expert at reading my fake brother's moods and energy. He could hide a lot behind that Force magic of his; at least he could when at home in the safety of our apartment.

More noise outside. Screeching. Yelling. Laughing. Screaming. Fights. Distant blasters. Traffic. Ships landing and launching. You name it, there was a noise for it in this place. Even the bed squeaked, and the heating unit in this poor excuse for an Inn rattled and clonked it's way to a half-ass effort in bringing some semblance of warmth to the room. It all added up to me wanting to drop the job, leave this place and get Tanner home.

But the job was money. Big money. A special assignment for Colton specifically. He'd given us so much in five years, I owed him... well... everything. No way I could bail on a job that he trusted me to handle personally.

Tanner tucked closer to me and I pulled an arm around him, then repeated what he'd said moments before. "It'll be all right, Mouse."

"Yeah, it will." Came his response. Trusting. Always trusting. I didn't trust myself as much as Tanner trusted me. Lucky idiot that I was.

The evening went on. The noises ebbed and flowed. There was never complete quiet or anything close, but he slept some. It seemed better when he was leaned against me. The contact giving him comfort, was my guess. Familiar in a city of unfamiliar.

At this point, I was determined to get us the hell out of here a quickly as I could. Anticipating two more days, I aimed for one. I was good at what I did, but give me a reason of a personal nature especially where my family was concerned... and I was damn good.

I was damn good this time around. Crazy short cuts and dangerous side cuts and I'd lifted the object of Colton's attention and we were out. Tanner was ready, through a quick comm signal from me when I got back to the Inn. We rolled out of town as if we'd never been there. The tail was clean,

I didn't think anyone had even known I'd been there, stolen the loot, and then skipped out. Or if they had, the surprise was yet to come.

The surprise came in the form of a some type of strange humanoid-swamp creature thing. And it was angry.

"A Klatooinian." Tanner yelled at me as we ran. Of course, Mr. Sponge-Brain would know the type of creature that I'd managed to tick off.

"I suppose he's dangerous?" I called back.

"It's a female and yes. They do a lot work for the Hutts. Gangsters. Did you just steal from a gangster, Dash?"

"I didn't see anything resembling a Hutt, little brother. I would have noticed a big slimy, blobby thing, right? Those creatures aren't easy to hide."

"Doesn't matter, Dash, just keep running because there's a Shistavanen running with the Klatooinian. Wow, you ticked off someone. Big time."

"I stole from them, what do you expect. And what the hell is a Shistavanen? Are you making up these names?"

"I wish. Move your butt, Dash."

"I bet you wish you'd had a full night of sleep last night, don't you?"

"Less talking, more running, Dash. Where's our ride?"

"Not far, around a corner and..." We skidded to a stop. The compact ship was ahead. The loading ramp down. The pilot waiting. He was being paid enough to practically buy a new ship if he got us away safely, that was the deal. So he had no issue waiting for us.

I glanced behind Tanner and pushed him ahead of me. "Little brothers first. Go on. Up the ramp. Tell the pilot to close the hatch when you're on."

"Dash." Worried. Always worried for me when he need not be. I knew what I was doing.

"Go on, Mouse, I got this."

My priority was always Tanner. Always would be. I could care less about the loot or the money that would follow it, but I cared about my brother being safe.

He was up and in and the hatch-ramp began to raise to a close. The pilot, as I'd instructed him, lifted the gear just off the surface and floated in my direction, the ramp edging down just enough... I grabbed hold of the cleats on the right side of the ramp and held on for dear life as the blaster fire from the Klatoowhatever and Shistavwhocares began in earnest; my legs flinging in various directions to avoid being hit - I'd hoped. A slight burn creased my left leg, but I hung on as hands reached over and dragged me into the ship. The hatched closed. The pilot hesitating not one second before launching away.

I landed almost on top of Tanner as the ship jerked away from the city and toward the planet's outer atmosphere. My leg burned, the bottom portion of my pants was about fried off. Tanner ran for first aid.

"I got it, Dash. It'll be all right."

"Tanner. It's okay. Not too bad. Tell the pilot to head for the transfer site. He'll get off their radar if they follow. It's just a few minutes from here. You can fix me up after we're on the public transport home."

We hit the transfer site - a mobile spaceport - hopped on a crowded transport and headed for home. My leg being on fire as it was, made me grateful that the seats were spaced enough to allow for a little wiggle room. Tanner, with first aid in hand, was well on his way to treating the leg before I could say the word. There was a change in him too. Focused. Calmer. Less anxious. The transport we were on, still somewhat noisy, but less chaotically so. Mostly just conversations among passengers. He also had me to worry on instead of his own anxieties. Taking his attention away from the negative memories that had been plaguing his mind.

"It'll be all right, Dash. It'll be all right." He repeated to me. Almost like a mantra. Whatever he needed to do to find himself again.

I kept still. I kept quiet. The injury wasn't bad, but the sensation of my leg being on fire made it seem worse than it was. Tanner cleaned it, set it with the kit's cruddy expired bacta pack and wrapped it tight. I sat back. Tanner got comfortable in his seat. We had a long slow ride home. A lot of stops along the way, but it was the safest way to go.

"You look better," I eventually said to him, leaning my head in his direction.

"I feel better. I don't think I can ever go back to that place though."

The planet we'd just left. Where my job had taken us. He'd volunteered to come with me, to help me, but I'd never submit him to that again. I knew that for damn sure.

He leaned toward me again and just like last evening, I set an arm around him. Comforting. Protective. "I won't let you ever go back there. Okay?"

"Yeah. It was my choice, but I didn't know."

"You didn't. But it's all right now. It'll be all right. We'll get home, get some rest, back to normal. You can find your boring time sitting on the floor and you can stare at any wall you like for however long you like. Yeah?"

A nod against me. "I like that idea."

"Figured you would. Sleep for a while, Mouse. It'll be a while before we're home. You'll be back to your boring, magic-filled ways soon enough."

"S'not magic, Dash."

The words came out slurred and I counted down the seconds before he was out cold.

"Five... four... three... and you're out. Do I know my little brother, or do I know my little brother?"

I did, most of the time. Having been thrown for a loop this recent trip, didn't change the fact that I knew when he was dead tired to the galaxy. Tucking him to me once more, as comfortable as I could make us in the seats, I set my head back and closed my own eyes. The burning in my leg lessened, the ship gently jerked away from it's next spaceport stop, and Tanner was sound sleep; his mind and anxieties clear and quiet.

Every so often, he'd give a slight twitch, his peaceful state threatened to break.

In response, I'd squeeze his arm and assure him of what I knew.

"It'll be all right, Tanner.


END