Chapter Title: Not Ever
Series Title: Unlikely Brothers
Ages in this chapter: Tanner (16 ) Dashen (22) though neither actually appear in this chapter
Chapter Summary: Qui-Gon and Ayden are confronted by Dashen's deceased little brother, Kossi, in the netherworld of the Force. (Takes place in same year as Chapter 16 - "BONDS", when Qui-Gon and Ayden first become aware of Kossi in the Force)
The small form darted in and out of focus. A blue shrouded blur. Too quick for even Qui-Gon to see and he'd had plenty of practice here in the netherworld of the Force. He was certain who it was though. Over the years, the clues had added up, the theories had made sense. The one in question had even saved Tannerlin's life not long ago. If only the form - the child - would stay still long enough to confirm.
The blur became the child. Compact. Thin. Forever in an eight-year-old body.
He'd died then. Age eight. Far too young for any child. Far too young for this child. How he'd come to be here, in the Force, Qui-Gon couldn't begin to know. Certainly, the child hadn't been Jedi-trained or have known the well-hidden secrets to immortality. He was just a child. A normal child living a normal life on a normal planet.
The child. Black hair. Like his brother. Green eyes. Like his brother. Small in statue. Tiny for his age. Powerful in ways unknown.
When he finally stood unmoving, his sharp green eyes looked up and captured the two Jedi Masters. The two Jedi Force-ghosts.
Qui-Gon Jinn. Ayden Yen.
"I'm Kossi." First words were casual, pleasant. They were also confirmation. "Dashen's brother. I died when I was eight. Someone poisoned me. I didn't know it then though. Then I was here, after I died. Here in the Force."
Silence for a moment. The Jedi Masters. Even in life, Qui-Gon was rarely stunned for words. He was a man able to capture words for every situation. But this one? Well...
"Kossi. How? What? How?"
Next to him, Ayden Yen tried to pick up the conversation. "All right. This is... unusual? Impossible?"
"I'm Dashen's brother." Kossi repeated.
"Yes, we are aware." Qui-Gon said, "But how are you here?"
"I just am. The Force wanted me to be here. It wanted me to save Tannerlin so that he could save my brother. When you died," Kossi pointed to Ayden, "You knew someone would come to help Tannerlin. The Force guided me to make sure that Dashen was someone. My brother was all broken. He loved me so much. He loved me more than anyone ever loved anyone in all of the galaxies combined. If I hadn't helped him, he would have died very soon. He tried to die before I could help him. I didn't want him to die. I wanted him to live and be happy. My brother deserves to be happy. He's happy now. He has Tannerlin. I saved them both so they could save each other."
The two masters stood confounded, still. Comprehending the boy's words, but not the how of it all could have happened. Speechlessness was all they had in their limited arsenal for the moment. They'd thought they had some type of idea of how the Force worked. Qui-Gon in particular, having dedicated his after-life to the cause. But now, there was this boy who was here, simply because the Force wanted him to be here. There was certainly more to the story, there had to be. But Qui-Gon wasn't foolish enough to know that the Force would ever reveal those secrets... and for Kossi? Well, it was simple for him. It was meant to be, so it was.
"I don't know how I came into the Force after I died." Kossi went on, reflective now, a think layer of sadness draping around. "It just happened. When I was alive, I could do things. Move things. Feel things. I never told momma or papa. I never told Dashen, but I told Dashen everything. But I didn't tell him that. They would take me away from them. From my family. Someone would. If they knew. I didn't tell. I never told. I didn't want to leave my brother. Not ever."
Qui-Gon and Ayden exchanged perplexed glances. Finally, Ayden could only sigh. "We just accept this as is? The Force works in mysterious ways? Qui-Gon?"
"It does, though this is more mysterious than anything I've ever experienced or heard of. I'm certain there were children out there like Kossi, powerful in the Force, but never discovered for various reasons. But to have the untrained power is one thing, to be here..."
"I can look after my brother still," Kossi input eagerly. "I can make sure he's okay. I can see that he still loves me."
"He does, Kossi. We've no doubt of that." Ayden, in his natural nurturing mode, comforting the child even if he wasn't sure it was necessary. "But where you the one that I felt before I died? There was a push from somewhere. A fidgeting in the back of my mind that kept assuring me that Tannerlin would be found. That he'd be all right. Was that you?"
The child nodded. "It was me. The Force kept guiding me to you, to show you that hidden spot in the wall where you could hide him and he would be safe from the Empire. You listened. Dashen did not… for a while.
When I tried to push him to go to that basement to find Tannerlin, he was confused and stubborn about the signs. Dashen is like that. He has a hard head. But I didn't give up and he saw, eventually. He saved him. And he's happy again. I died, but my brother can still be happy. I want him to be happy. Do you understand?"
Qui-Gon nodded, amazed at the boy's bluntness. Only eight, but able to simply tell it like it is.
"We do understand." Jinn said finally. "We want the same not only for Dashen, but for Tannerlin as well. We want that for any that we love who are still alive and fighting."
With a kind smile, Kossi stepped forward and took Ayden's large hand in his own tiny one. "Tannerlin was your apprentice. You loved him as your family."
"I did. I still do. I only wish he could still feel me, our connection."
"He can. In a way. He doesn't know it. You don't know it. But deep down, he can still feel you with him. Because you are. Still with him. Just in a different way. He loves you almost as much as Dashen loves me. How can that ever be a bad thing? To be loved that much by your family?"
Ayden found it hard to withstand the emotion of the words and was grateful for the conversation to be turned in another direction.
"Kossi," Qui-Gon interrupted. Curious. "Can you speak to Obi-Wan?"
"He's your apprentice. He's still alive. In the desert. I can't talk to him. I tried once, but there was no connection. Maybe because I don't know him. I can see him though. Feel him in the Force. His emotions. He's lonely. Sad. Angry. Mostly, he's really tired. He misses you every day. Did you know that? Even when you are there speaking to him, he misses you being with him in life. I see Tannerlin and Dashen visit him. His good friends. His family. He's desperate for the physical contact when he sees them. It's why Tannerlin hugs him so tight. He knows. No one should have to be so sad. But I understand. Obi-Wan's life was hard. There were a lot of bad things he saw. A lot of bad things he had to do. Sometimes you should visit him more, Qui-Gon. Sometimes, you leave him alone too long."
"It's not intentional. I am still learning. I am still training Ayden to reach his potential here in hope that perhaps one day Ayden will be able to speak with Tannerlin."
Kossi took Qui-Gon's hand next. "Studying and learning is important. Dashen always told me that when I used to not want to go to school. But your apprentice is just as important. More important. He won't ever be happy like Dashen can be happy, but he can be less sad. He deserves to be less sad, Qui-Gon."
"That he does, Kossi. Thank your or caring about him so." Qui-Gon responded. His words quiet and sincere. Thoughts now turned to Obi-Wan and the desperate need in his words and actions that Jinn hadn't always considered in his visits and training with his former Padawan. Some sessions cut short simply because Qui-Gon thought Obi-Wan was too exhausted or without enough span of attention at the time. Could it be that Qui-Gon was just not recognizing the need of just a presence to sit with or talk to? To remember with. To know that he was loved.
The dark-haired boy brought Qui-Gon out of his thoughts with a hard squeeze to his hand. "Even when you think he doesn't want to talk to you, don't leave him. Sit near. Be quiet and sit. Maybe like you used to when he was younger. He's your family. He'll always be your family. Maybe I was supposed to help him too - by making sure you know these things."
"Maybe so. Thank you again, Kossi."
"When I died, I felt weird. I remember Dashen hugging me tight, not wanting to let go. Crying so hard. Then something wrapped around me. I didn't understand at first, then I did. The Force. It grabbed me fast. I was dizzy and being taken from my brother. I didn't ever want to be taken from my brother. Not ever."
Noting this was the second time the child had said almost those exact words, Qui-Gon truly began to realize depth of connection between Dashen and Kossi Lesedi. That Dashen was ever able to move on from his death was quite the miracle. A miracle that only served to show how special Tannerlin Vai was to have broken through to a defeated brother and brought him back from the brink.
There was this circle forming now. All of them seemed interconnected in some strange way. The brothers. Tannerlin. Obi-Wan. He and Ayden. Part of it insisted that Qui-Gon question all he knew about the Force. He could see the same on the face of Ayden Yen. The man who had trained Tannerlin for only two years, but had said on more than one occasion how unique the boy was during their brief time. There was something good about him. A good that needed to be felt by others. A good that was important to so many things.
None of this however, none of any of this that had transpired, could either Jedi have ever imagined.
Kossi had apparently developed the ability to become a Force ghost, but only within the parameters of the netherworld. He was unable to make himself visible to the living. Unable to contact them either by voice or presence. So, whatever the Force bestowed onto him, there were limitations. To his credit, Kossi seemed content with those limitations. As long as his brother was safe and happy. The boy had wanted something that Qui-Gon would not ever have for Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan would never be happy. Content? Perhaps for moments at a time, but happiness would elude him and had for many years.
The boy… he picked up on Jinn's thought right then. How he did it, again, it was forever unknown, but he grabbed it and ran with it. "You can't help Obi-Wan be happy, Qui-Gon. But you can be with him. Don't let him be alone. Alone is the worst thing to happen to anyone. I was alone when I came into the Force. It scared me really bad. I called for Dashen all the time but I knew he wouldn't hear me and that he was scared too. Scared for himself. Scared for what to do next. Scared for what he really wanted to do after I died. Obi-Wan would not do that. Hurt himself. He knows how important he is, but it doesn't make it better. He's still scared and alone. Don't leave him alone, Qui-Gon. Not like I had to do with Dashen before he found his new brother."
Jinn nodded sadly. "I do try, Kossi. I will try harder."
"You have to. Obi-Wan needs to not be alone. Ayden, Tannerlin is happy. He's not scared anymore. Not alone anymore. You shouldn't worry so much. You worry a lot."
Ayden grinned, knowing the child was right. He did worry. Had from the moment he saw his imminent death and the terror on young Tannerlin's face knowing what was happening. He'd never forget that look. That shock. Horror. Realization. Desperation. Those things were all gone now as his padawan had found a life after the Jedi slaughter, but in a way, they were forever etched on his face when Ayden remembered.
"I do worry. Maybe you've helped me understand that all of my fretting is no longer needed. You're right. Tannerlin is not scared or alone anymore. Whatever magic you and the Force worked together to achieve that, I am forever in your debt."
Taking the master's hand again, Kossi patted it gently. "You don't have
to be. But if we can be friends, then I won't be alone anymore either." Reaching over, he grabbed Qui-Gon's hand. "I can help you watch over your families while I watch over my brother. Maybe one day I can learn to speak to your Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon. To help him when you can't. You can teach me maybe. I learn fast."
"I'm certain you do, young one. Perhaps one day…"
Kossi gripped both hands and took a deep breath. Releasing it, his eyes closed and a serenity took over his being. It encompassed Qui-Gon and Ayden both. The boy had power unknown to them. New powers it seemed, within the Force. Or at least new powers for such a young, untrained child. The feeling he passed to them gave both Jedi pause and clarity for the moment. Then he let go and sent them on their way.
"Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan needs you. You should go be with him. I feel such a sadness in him. Ayden, Tannerlin is good. He's in school right now, learning and growing to one day be a teacher like you. And Dashen, my big brother… he will always be my big brother. He's happy right now. I won't ever take that away from him. Not ever. Okay?"
That was a statement. A warning? Perhaps. Both masters took it that way. They were not to make mention of his presence in the Force to Obi-Wan who could relay the information back down to Dashen. Dashen was happy, living a good life. Knowing of his brother in the Force? That maybe if he'd known about Kossi's abilities long ago, would it have been possible to avoid losing his baby brother so early in life? Those and other questions would taunt and haunt Dashen if he knew. He couldn't know neither. That Kossi was a Force user and that he was aware from beyond. To know these things now could break Dashen Lesedi again and he'd lose the life he had now. One with people that loved him. He was happy and Kossi would make certain he stayed that way.
Qui-Gon and Ayden nodded at the small child who seemed to be more comfortable with where he was now than either of them, despite age and Jedi-life lived. This little one was determined to help where he could and not hurt those who deserved so much better.
His brother was happy. The Jedi promised to keep it so.
With that, Qui-Gon hurried off to see to Obi-Wan. Ayden refocused on recent lessons from Jinn. And Kossi… Kossi vanished contently into the Force… to places unknown... but most likely to his favorite place. Watching over his big brother, Dashen. Watching as he lived the life he deserved. A good life. A happy life.
He'd gotten his one wish from the Force… the wish that he didn't ever have to leave his brother. Not ever.
And in a way, he never did.
—-
Qui-Gon materialized in the hovel of his former padawan. Obi-Wan was asleep, though there was nothing that qualified as sleep in the tossing and twitching. It was difficult for Qui-Gon to watch the torturous dreams that haunted his dear friend. The strongest person Jinn had ever come to know. That was Obi-Wan. Doing the impossible time and time again, including now, here on Tatooine. Desolate. Alone.
Sitting near, remembering Kossi's words - or had it been an order? To be present with his dear friend even when it seemed it should be elsewhere.
Qui-Gon relaxed into the Force and focused on the reaffirmed connection between he and his apprentice. Making certain the younger man knew...
"I'm here, Padawan. You're alone, but you're not alone. I will not let you be." He reassured the one that meant so much to him. "Not alone." As Kossi would say. "Not ever."
END
