Chapter Title: I Should Have Lied

Series Title: Unlikely Brothers

POV: Dashen

Ages in this chapter: Tanner (10) Dashen (16)

Chapter Summary: After Dashen messes up a job, he prepares for Colton's reaction.


I should have lied.

But I didn't.

I should have died.

But I didn't.

Probably for the best, both of those things.

I was a lot of things. A lot of annoying things. But I wasn't a liar. And at this point in my life, I wasn't sold on that I deserved to die, despite my efforts to create that ending in my past.

Colton deserved the truth. All he'd given to help me. To help us; me and my target-on-his-back fake brother.

I hadn't died and I wasn't going to lie. I was better than that.

Back straight. Chin up. Deep breath. I looked the big man dead in the eye.

"Colton. Every bit of this is completely my fault. I take full responsibly and I will find a way to pay you back for the loss. The short cuts I took failed miserably I should've known they would. The job was amateurish and not anything that you've come to expect from me. Dock my pay for the next however many jobs until the balance is made up. Whatever you've gotta do. I'm good for any punishment deserved. Just please don't boot me or the kid out of the apartment. He's got a damn target on him and... I've literally no place else to go."

Blond hair hanging past his huge shoulders, thick arms crossed. A head and a half (at least) taller than me. The strength to toss me across the room at will. Intense blue eyes locking in glare almost if as daring me to look away. Virgil Colton was intimidation from head to toe. Still, I wouldn't lie to him. Not about my screw ups. Not about my failure. I'd failed enough in my life and I'd had my fair share of people who had lied to me over the years.

I was better than those things.

I was. Honest. Yet still, one small part of me wondered if I really should have just lied to the man. Maybe it was my one and only chance to keep the roof over my head and keep the kid from being on the Empire's assassination list. My one and only chance to find semblance of a life.

"You've failed before Dashen." Colton finally responded. "No, not to this level, but you have failed."

I had. No lie there. But those times, I'd been learning the trade and still reeling from the loss of my baby brother, Kossi. Hell, I still reeled from it, but I was ten times the runner I was a year or two ago. Colton expected better and if he didn't, he should.

"Tell me, Dashen Lesedi. What happened in the past when you failed?"

Quiz time? Really? I was about to be kicked out on the streets and the man was going to test my memory before doing so? Hell.

Nevertheless, I thought back to those memories that weren't far from reach; my failures always right where I could fall back into them at any given time. Times like now. How great was that?

Not so much, though these memories came with a positive spin. And I remembered that too and said to Colton, "You flat out told me never to screw up again and then you put me right back to work."

"I did. And you screwed up again. Eventually."

I did. "I did. I know. But pretty sure that I've outdone myself this time."

Colton softened his glare and arms fell to his side as he nodded to a spot behind me. "Go, Dash. Sit at the bar."

Officially, it was the breakfast bar. Unofficially, it was the place where Colton had been known to fire people for screwing him over. Great. Tanner, I hope you've got your bags packed. We're outta here, kid.

But we weren't. I sat on the tall chair as Colton walked into his kitchen, filled a short glass with a strong ale and pushed it my direction. "Drink it."

Uh, what? "Colt, I'm just a kid and ale is disgusting. I can't..."

"Drink. It."

Okay. Direct order. Refuse it and die. I drank it. Was like drinking liquid fire as it slid down my throat. He poured me another. Oh good. I wasn't sure I liked where this was going, but I let the ale work and it steadily began warming me inside. The ridiculously tight tension in my chest lessened.

"Better?" He asked me honestly.

"Yeah," No lie there either. "Sorry."

"Good. Now listen to me, you idiot. Have I ever threatened to toss you or the kid out on the streets?"

"Well..." He had technically. But only in jest. None of the several hundreds threats had ever been serious or taken seriously. It was simply one of the ways we all communicated. At least Colton and me. Tanner was the innocent party in all this, but unfortunate enough to get hooked up with yours truly.

Colton glared again, waiting for my answer.

"No, you've never threatened to toss me out." I offered. "Not for real."

"Then why the hell would you even think I'd do it out now?"

"You did see the level of screw up, right? I mean, it was top notch. Hell, if I wasn't scared to death of losing the roof over my head, I'd be impressed with myself for the depth of the botched job I'd achieved here."

"I'm glad you recognize what you did wrong and that you won't ever do it again."

Here it came.

"Dashen. In my work I've seen it all and seen it all again. And over the years I've come to the conclusion that crap happens... and sometimes, you've got to move on from it. I've lost money more times than you can count and long before you arrived. I lose all the time. I gain more than I lose, true, but that doesn't change that failures happen. All my runners. All my crew. There's not a perfect soul on my team, Dash. Not a damned one."

I released the vice-like grip I had on the drinking glass. The grip doing a lousy job of camouflaging the nervous shaking in my hand as I'd prepared myself to be hurled out onto the streets to fend for myself once again. Been there, done that. Failed horribly there too.

But now... I released the glass. The shaking had stopped.

Colton had silently noticed though his focus seemed to be making sure that my stupidly stubborn brain knew my future. "Short of turning on me or trying to kill me - which you would fail at miserably by the way - you and the kid will always have a home with me. As long as you want it."

Well, damn. But wait... "That's not pity, is it Colt? I mean, pity for me and Tanner losing family and all?"

"I don't pity, kid. You know that. You've both had some hellish things happen in your lives. I was in a position to help and for some foolish reason, I did. I always regret it, I mean constantly all day all night, but I will not turn my back on you. Now, if you keep screwing up, we may have to talk, but I strongly suspect that won't happen."

Nope, it sure won't.

"However, all that being said, what the hell were you thinking, you idiot?"

"Nothing remotely approaching intelligence, trust me. I was off from the word go and I should have told you at the beginning. Colt... There was never any comfort with this gig. Everything felt wrong. No excuse, I know. I've worked other jobs where it felt wrong, but I made it work. This time, my game was abysmal and embarrassing and I'm sorry. Just... sorry. No excuse."

This time Colton filled my glass with something less horribly throat-burning. "Happens again, tell me and I'll put someone else on the job. You get yourself killed when your head's not in the game, I'm not going to be the one to break your brother's heart. So, shape it up and figure it out. We clear?"

I nodded firmly. "Perfectly."

"Be an idiot on your own time, Dash."

I felt better, but still badly. Thankfully the fix for that came skipping through the front door. Skipping? Colton and I exchanged a look as Tanner, in all his small-statured glory, came bounding in with tales to tell about every non-exciting thing that happened to him in school today.

First things first though. If I was here when he got home, there was a hug waiting for me no matter the mood or condition I was in. The kid was always there. Who was I to reject that kind of love?

"Hi Dash!" Tanner hurried over and landed solidly against me.

My arms immediately wrapped around him. "Hey, Mouse." I said, letting my arms wrap extra tightly today. "It's good to have you home. It's been a day."

He didn't release me because he knew. He always knew when I wasn't myself. Be that weird Jedi magic or just who he was, he always knew.

"You can tell me all about it, big brother." He mumbled into my chest. I glanced at Colton who nodded. Tell the kid the truth. Always tell the kid the truth.

"You get your home assignment done and at dinner, you and I will talk."

"Okay. Give me thirty minutes."

Thirty minutes for assignments that would take the average kid double that. Tanner. He was a sponge if there ever was one. It always impressed me and could occasionally drive me crazy. But, love the kid for what he was, not what you wanted him to be.

He hurried up the stairs.

I smiled, knowing that was the reason I could not afford to mess this thing up. This thing with Colton. A job. A roof. A home. Safety. Security. All things I had when I was younger with my family (on a much smaller scale of course). Everything that I thought I'd never have again when Kossi died.

Insecurity and fear. A dangerous combination. Add those things to my tendency towards idiocy and well...

Yeah. This was the last of the big-event blunders.

Colton was still nearby and my eyes turned back to him. He'd seen me watching Tanner. He knew how dedicated I was to this kid. How quickly we'd become attached to each other in just over a year.

This was me growing up. This was me no longer screwing up.

"I've got this, Colt. No more mistakes. I'll be the best damn runner you've ever seen or had on your crew."

Eyebrows rose. I think he was smirking at me. Or maybe he was about to bring me down a notch. Turned out to be both.

"Dash, don't give me promises you can't keep. Just do the job and don't get yourself killed in the process. It'll all be good."

Yeah, it would, I thought, rubbing at my head. That damn ale Colton forced on me. Now that the tension had eased and gotten me through this very strange afternoon, the headache from inhaling such powerful ale so quickly was pressing.

Colton handed me another drink. Really?

"It's not ale. It'll help the headache before it progresses into one of your migraines. Quin prescribed it for me when I took the both of you on."

What the hell did that mean?

"Are you trying to say that Tanner and me, we make your head hurt?"

His thumb and finger pinched toward each other about an inch apart and he grimaced. "Little bit."

My hand reached out to grab the drink. "Gimme that damn thing."

I gulped it down and then was pushed backwards onto the couch. Colton's famous most comfortable couch in all the galaxy. He rarely let me touch the thing, much less sit on it.

"Hey!" I tried to protest. Why I was protesting being on this couch? No idea, but it seemed the right thing to do.

"Hey, nothing, you idiot. Just sit, shut up and give yourself a break. The headache will lessen. Once it does, get the hell off my couch. I've got business at the Rathskeller. Don't forget you promised the kid thirty minutes. Then you get to hear all about his day. You'll be bored to tears."

I shrugged. He was right. Colton was rarely wrong. "True, but I humor him."

"You have unheard of patience with him. He knows you would rather be some place else than listening to him ramble on about his class learning, but yet you choose to stay and pretend to be interested. You'll always be an odd bird, Dash, and you have your issues. But giving a damn about family even when it makes you want to pull your hair out and scream into the emptiness of space is not one of those issues. You have a roof. You have a home. You have a family again. Don't botch it up. Next time I may kick you out on your ass."

He wouldn't. Would he? Not after this. Wait, wasn't there a promise a few minutes ago that he'd never do that? Was he playing with my mind again? Ugh! I really needed to stop all this inner monologue crap. Stars, I really was an idiot.

Colton shoved my foot with a boot as he walked by, His head cocked to the side and a sly half-smile sneaking past. Always keeping me on my toes, I guess.

"For the love of all that is... You really are an idiot, Dashen."

"Yeah, my inner self just said the same exact thing. Sorry, I think there will always be that nagging fear that one day I'll wear out my welcome."

"We're not discussing this again. I gave you my word. In my world there's nothing more solid. Your thirty minutes is almost up. Tell the kid goodnight for me. I'll be back sometime tomorrow. Don't burn the place down and you've got ten minutes left before your ass is off my couch. Count it down. Tomorrow."

Colton, he was a tough man to like. But I was a tough kid to like. Maybe it's why this all worked.

The chrono on the wall counted down my last ten minutes of comforted bliss as my headache slowly faded into nothing. I struggled to stay awake and interested during Tanner's extensive telling of his day. Much more detailed than normal. Apparently it had been exciting. To have him tell it. Which he did. On and on and on. For an hour, then during dinner, then after dinner. The kid was still blabbering as I ordered him to shower and bed. Stories about white dwarf stars and red dwarf stars and outer rim planets and rodents with three heads and intelligent trees. All over the place, is where he was.

I listened. Not because I was interested. Nope, none of that nonsense. I listened because it helped me keep my sanity. It made me forget about my screw ups and mistakes. I worried on things. It's what I did. Always in the back of my mind, anxiety wandered. Always there. Always threatening.

Somehow though... somehow this kid... at least for a time... he made all of that go away.

Maybe he even did that for Colton. I mean who really knew what true stressors a life of criminal enterprise could bring. And how the simple smiling face and kind spirit of a ten year old Jedi kid could help even a inured mastermind of the criminal type find something he'd been missing for a long time.

Yeah, I was safe here. There was a certainty to it now that wasn't there when this adventure in my latest blunder began today.

I had a job. A roof over my head. Security. A family. Sure, it was an oddball weirdo family, but it was family nonetheless.

They accepted me, faults and all.

Who could ask for more than that?

Would this day have turned out the same if I'd given Colton some nonsense about none of this being my fault? No way to know. Good chance it could have gone either way.

Here I was now, happy as hell I hadn't taken that chance to lose all I'd gained.

Yeah. I was glad I hadn't lied.


END