Chapter Title: Need

Series Title: Unlikely Brothers

Ages in this chapter: Tanner (15) Dashen (21)

POV: Tanner

Chapter Summary: On Tatooine to visit Ben Kenobi, Tanner helps his friend through the end of a difficult day.


I didn't know he needed me until he did. Life was hard for him. Impossible really. It wasn't enough that he was on this hellish desert world year after year. It wasn't enough that his past was filled with betrayal and heartbreak. It was that he was alone now in all of this. Confined to a solitary life where no one could be trusted; where 'friends' were considered those rare few who hadn't yet made an attempt to kill you.

Most times my visits were valuable tools of learning and memories, with him anticipating and waiting for me.

This visit, he hadn't even taken the precaution of securing his hovel door. Like he'd hit rock bottom and was giving permission for anyone to come and finally put him out of his misery.

It was me though, me that walked in and found him hunched in a corner, knees drawn up, hands pulling through his hair with head bowed. The slightest of rocking motions was present. I glanced around. His home was a mess. Not the neat and tidy I had come to expect.

All of this, it worried me more than I cared to think.

With a hand, I motioned for Dashen to stay near the door but to secure it behind him while I went to my friend. Ben. I'd only known him for a few years, but his life story was one of the most difficult of ups and downs. If there ever was a true hero in the galaxy, Ben Kenobi was it, even if I didn't know the true reason he was isolated here on Tatooine. He'd never consider himself in any such way, but I knew. He was a hero to me and my connection with him only spanned barely five years and two visits a year.

None of that mattered. He was a Jedi. I was a Jedi. Well, we used to be. That alone connected us – that and the Force.

The Force wasn't helping him now though.

I slid down the wall, scrunching in next to him in the tight space, purposely leaning against his side.

Part of me wanted to say something. Part of me wanted to remain quiet. The constant hum of the hovel's air-cooling unit, the only sound short of an occasional gust of wind pushing against the small doomed living structure. I opted for quiet at the moment. Ben made no motion to acknowledgement my presence, but I stayed. A long time passed. At least I think it was long, I wasn't tracking the time, but guessing. The side of me that wanted to say something overrode the need to remain silent.

"Ben. I don't know what you feel. I can't say it'll be okay, because I don't know that it will. You've been there for me though in the past. Dashen was there for me too, all the time, he's there. It's my turn to help you. I'm only fifteen, but I can sit here as long as you want or need. And if you just want me to go away, I can do that too, though I really don't want to. You need company, real live company, not a voice from the Force or a shimmering spirit. You love your master, even in his death, but I'm physically here and... just tell me what you need."

The few words I'd intended spilled into a short speech, but I regretted not a single word. Friends that I'd not known about had stepped forward when I had needed them. One in the form of a big brother. The other, a larger-than-life criminal. The last, a reclusive Jedi. None of them had needed to come into my life, but all of them did. And each one changed it in a myriad of positive ways.

Payback time. For Ben at least.

Time passed after my rambling. Enough time where I began to think that Ben might be lost in his own misery forever. Then he lifted his head, looking briefly skyward. Listening with bleary eyes and a war-torn heart.

"Yes, Master." Two words. It's what he said. Not to me. Not to anyone visible. A conversation from his long dead but Force-resurrected Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Ben's two-word response was automatic as it always had been during the dead man's living days – of that I was certain. What Qui-Gon said, I could not know. I did know that Ben trusted that voice and wisdom above all others and if Qui-Gon was reaching out to him the same time I was here, it meant something.

When Ben leaned toward me, unwrapped himself to settle an arm around my shoulders, I silently thanked his master for whatever wisdom he'd spoken.

I was pulled in close, Ben resting his chin on top of my head.

"Qui-Gon said for me to stop being stubborn, that I needed your help. I do. Need your help, Tannerlin."

"He's a wise man."

"The wisest I've known. Of course, he also threatened to disown me if I kept ignoring you."

There'd been a minuscule of humor in that statement. A good sign that Ben wasn't lost forever, despite the hollow look in his blue eyes.

"Then it's best to not ignore me, right?" I humored back gently.

I was maybe a bit young to be an expert in being the comforter, though I did enjoy a good hug and make sure my friends knew I loved them. One of my best traits – I thought. Dashen often called me a clinger and spent a lot of time peeling me off of him, but I did love my brother.

I loved Ben too. He was one of three people that I knew without a doubt I could trust with my life. Ben no longer had that, people in his life that he could trust with everything. There was his dead master; but a non-physical bodied Force spirit could only get him so far.

With an almost fierce determination, Ben clutched me tight and I sunk into his side, pressing hard against his rib cage, tucking under his arm. There was no further verbal exchange between us for a while. Our modest connection within the Force, I found and tried my best to send waves of calm.

Maybe it was my limited power, maybe it was just time and exhaustion, but I felt the wreck that was Ben's emotional state begin to relax.

"It's difficult here, Tannerlin. As I've told you in the past," he said quietly. Calm. With me still clutched in his grasp. "It can be... overwhelming. Took me by surprise this time. Like a tidal wave and I couldn't reach the high ground. It dragged me under so quickly all I could do was give in. Just so happened that my breakdown coincided with your visit. Ironic, I suppose."

"Or meant to be." Dashen's voice came from nearby. He sat on the floor a few feet from us. "I am finding," Dashen leaned in closer, "I'm beginning to think that a lot of things involving Tanner are meant to be."

I'd have argued with him if I thought he was wrong. He wasn't wrong, at least not completely. Too many coincidences in various key points of my life, including stumbling onto Ben's hovel those few years ago. My shoulders shrugged into Ben's embrace. He was better now. Not perfect, but better. Still, I didn't move. Not until he was ready. Not until he made first move to release me.

He began again. "I've had many demanding tasks and obstacles in my life. This... this is the most grueling. Being here. Many days go by as I sit alone and don't think I have the strength to continue. But I must. It is vital to all that is good in the galaxy. Of that I am so certain. So... I will persevere. I must. There is simply no other option." Ben's voice was sad, reflective.

It's all he could tell us for fear of whatever his secret was, being exposed and endangering all involved. It hurt though to listen to words, his tone. I wanted to stay with him forever. To make him feel better. Of course that wasn't possible.

But words were possible. Promises. Friendship. Family.

"You're not always alone." I said to him. "You have me. You're my friend, Ben. I love you. Your Master Qui-Gon loves you. You even have Dashen, and he kinda, well, he tolerates you." The smile in my voice was clear as my eyes shifted toward my brother. I was still covered in Ben's grasp, but Dash gave me the exasperated big brother look; the one that had two meanings. Exasperation and warmth. Both aimed in my direction.

Ben finally released his hold on me and I sat up slowly. "Thank you, my friend." He glanced in Dashen's direction. "My friends. I am most grateful for you both."

Ben went to stand, shuffling a bit and rocking to one side. I grabbed his right arm and Dashen grabbed his left as he stumbled forward.

"Sorry. A bit unsteady. I've been sitting there for most of a day."

I questioned him with a look.

"As I said, this place is wearing and some days the simple task of getting out of bed..."

I got that part. Dashen too. When my master died. When Dashen's little brother died. The days and weeks that followed... even now, some days were impossible. Nothing like what Ben was going through. Dashen and I had each other, we had a makeshift family, friends, jobs, school. Ben had a hovel, a desert, a dead ghost Jedi that spoke to him, and memories of trauma and tragedy. That he was still able to get out of bed each morning, was testament to how impossibly strong he was. You'd never guess at that strength just casting a glance at him, but as I'd learned so many times in my young life, never judge by what you see on the surface.

"Yes, Master, I am." A random comment. Ben had looked upwards again. Qui-Gon's voice must have been there. Concerned about him was my guess.

"It's creepy when you do that. You know that, right?" Dashen said to Ben as we moved him to sit on his crescent shaped bed. "Speaking out loud to no one. It's creepy as hell."

"It's most defiantly not no one, Dashen. But I understand your discomfort."

"You, talking to a dead invisible ghost. Yeah, it's creepy."

Ben sat gently and Dashen lifted his legs to help him stretch out horizontal on the sleep area. "I did not anticipate sleeping," A protest, but not a very good one. "I have guests, you and I should train and work, Tannerlin."

"No, you should sleep. We're here for the week, remember? Our usual visit time. Unless you'd rather us not stay."

"Please stay."

"Then tomorrow is a new day."

Our friend went to push himself upright. Dashen laid a hand on his chest. "Just stay down, Ben, come on. Listen to the kid. He's small and weird, but he's usually right. You probably have your ghost master in your head right now anyway telling you the same. So stay the hell down and sleep, damn it."

Dashen did have a way with words. Ben often found him odd and annoying at times, but didn't we all?

"When you visit, it's you that gets the bed and I the meditation mat. I have no guest room. Where will you sleep?"

I eyed the floor and Dashen pulled the a blanket off the nearby chair. There was our answer. Comfortable? No. But the right thing to do.

"The floor. I'll use Dash as a pillow."

"You'll will not." My brother fired back. "And don't even think about hogging the blanket."

"I don't hog blankets. You and your abnormally long body leave one little corner for me and I get cold."

"You are little, so you get a little corner. Rank and file, Mouse. Big brother. Little brother. It's how it goes. I get first dibs."

"I'm gonna jab you in the middle of the night with my viciously pointy elbows, big brother. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Our childish bickering was interrupted by Ben. Laughing. Wait... Laughing? What a great sound. I think he was laughing with Qui-Gon, because short responses came out between laugh sounds. Apparently we were offering them both a good chuckle. I was okay with that. Dashen too. I know because he nudged me and smiled.

When Ben finally came back to focus on the room, he held out a hand toward me. I took it. "You, Tannerlin. The both of you, are good for my soul. Even without intending to be. Thank you for being true to yourselves. Qui-Gon enjoys you as well."

"Dashen and I are quite adept at random bickering. It's nice that we can share it with others." I snorted in return.

"Indeed. My friends. And you are correct, young one, as Dashen said, I am tired and I can use the sleep. You give me hope, Tannerlin. We will talk - and train - in the morning. Good night to you both."

"Good night, Ben." I lifted my head up. "Good night, Master Qui-Gon."

Dashen tugged me away from the bed. "Tanner, come on."

"Qui-Gon wishes you good dreams, Tannerlin." Ben said just before Dashen practically body slammed me to the floor. I knew it would drive him crazy for me to wish good night to a ghost that we couldn't see or hear as we sat in a hovel in the middle of a desert planet looking after an aging and depressed Jedi.

But, it's what I was.

I hit the floor on my side, tucked an arm under my head - a temporary pillow, I'd use Dashen later - and let my big brother lay a blanket over me. He could give me all the hard times he wanted, but he was still my big brother. He still looked after me no matter. My inward smile was genuine as I huddled in for the night. Dashen took up residence at my side. Ben, a few feet away on his bed; a quiet, regular breathing pattern taking control of his torn mind. Exhaustion combined with the simple action of having close friends near letting him relax.

His future life had a path much different than mine. Not that I knew what either of those paths were. They were both important though. Master Ayden would not have made sure I'd survived the Jedi Purge and Master Qui-Gon would not have dedicated himself into life after death to be there for his former apprentice in his isolation if our futures were not essential in some way. Maybe mine was only to look after Dashen and to visit Ben. Maybe Ben's was to one day save the galaxy from darkness. I didn't know. I couldn't know. Not for certain. That didn't lessen the meaning of it all.

I wrestled with sleep for a bit, mushing all of these ideas and thoughts in my mind. My fidgets eventually became annoying because I felt Dashen's arm cross over my shoulder and his hand latch onto mine. "Stop thinking, Mouse. Ben's okay. You and me, we're okay too. Even the dead guy is good. So, stop thinking and sleep."

Dashen. Even in his seriousness, he could toss in a sentence that could make me smile. Silently, I wished one last goodnight to Ben and to 'dead guy' Qui-Gon, before closing my eyes.

"Night, Dash."

"Night, Mouse."

The night went dark and tomorrow was a brighter day.


END