Chapter Title: I'm Proud of You

Series Title: Unlikely Brothers

Ages in this chapter: Tanner (12) Dashen (18)

POV: Dashen

Chapter Summary: Tanner is proud of his brother.


"I'm proud of you, Dash."

Came five words out of nowhere as Tanner and I were about to grab a comfy seat on the couch for a relaxing holo-film evening.

You know that feeling when something catches you off guard and you grasp for words to respond to something so unexpected? Yeah. That's exactly what happened here after those five simple words were uttered by the kid next to me. But, that I was at a loss... Okay yes, that part was stupid. I mean this was my little brother here and he was well known for surprising me out of the blue. This time though, I don't know. The words made me stumble and I stood awkwardly for paused seconds, avoiding making eye contact with my brother until I was absolutely certain at what he'd said. Of course I'd heard him and knew what he said, but still...

"You... w-what?" Was what finally bumbled out.

"I'm proud of you."

It was the simplest of things that often times threw me off. Don't ask me why.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really."

My forehead clenched and my eyes narrowed and I was confused. "Proud. Why?"

"Because I am. Today is a milestone, right?"

Was it? A milestone of what? Only Tanner and his sponge-like absorbing brain kept track of every tiny little detail of our lives. If it was a milestone - or whatever - he'd know it. But was it really?

"Ah, okay. Whatever you say, Mouse."

"So, maybe milestone is the wrong word." He unhelpfully clarified, "But it was not long after we met, you told me flat out that you'd be surprised if you lived to see another another three years. And guess what? Today is exactly three years from that day."

Tanner smiled up at me. There was no joking in his face, no kidding in his words. He'd actually remembered me saying those things in my frazzled and discombobulated state at the time. I mean he barely knew who I was then and he wasn't exactly in the best place either. If I'd said it, of course, I would have been deadly serious about the three year thing, no doubt there. At that horrible period in my life I really had no sense that I'd live a long life or even live a life into my twenties. Hell, even making to the next day was a challenge. But look here, I'd made it to eighteen! That was something. I think.

"You... you actually remember the exact day and my exact words? That's pretty impressive."

He shrugged nonchalant. "People tell me important things, it's important to remember them. You were all broken then. Then you started to get better. And now look at how better you actually are. I'm proud of you." Tanner cocked his head to the side, watching me carefully with those plain, pale brown eyes that always held the utmost compassion and sincerity. "Dash, why do you looked so confused."

The breath I took, shuttered some and I was hoping that Tanner missed it. He wouldn't, but I managed past the flash of emotion.

"You know, it's been a really long time since anyone told me that - that they were proud of me. I sort of didn't matter to anyone after Kossi died. There was no one to actually be proud of me."

"Well, there is now." Tanner said warmly. "I'm always proud of you as my brother, Dash. But today you did what you thought you could never do. I'm glad for it. Not sure what I'd do without you around."

I gave a thoughtful look toward my technically adopted (of sorts) brother. A former Jedi kid that had quickly become the most important person in the galaxy to me. He was sharp and smart and capable. Without a doubt, I knew he'd be able to manage without me. Eventually, he'd be okay.

But me without him? Yeah, not even going there. Nope. Not a chance.

"You'd do all right, Tanner." I told him. "It's who you are. You figure things out and make them work."

"Maybe. Glad I don't have to try. I wouldn't want to."

"Yeah." I sighed heavy. "I know the feeling. Thanks for being proud of me. You - you have this knack at always knowing just how to make me feel a little bit better about myself."

"You're a good person, Dash. You may not think so, but I see it in you every day."

Damn kid.

"Yeah, yeah, come on in for a hug. I know you're itching for one." He was. The kid loved a good hug. Not sure why. I was pretty sure that the Jedi weren't all that well known for their hugging tendencies. Tanner though, he was all human, and Jedi or not, under everything, us humans were emotional creatures. So, I wrapped him hard in my long arms and he snuggled right in; head planted against my chest. It was a feeling that immediately washed away any and all of my momentary worries.

This kid... such a powerful presence in such a compact form.

"Proud of you, big brother. All the time." He said, muffled into my tunic.

I held tighter thinking of the two impossibly joyful souls that had been under my care in my chaotic eighteen years. Kossi. Tanner. I'd lost one, then gained another.

Kossi, he also used to tell me how proud he was of me. Just a little kid making sure his big brother thought more of himself than that big brother actually did. And now Tanner. The very same essence of peace and love and hope and goodness.

Both of them, in my sad excuse for a life.

Damn. How lucky was I?

I couldn't begin to explain.


END